August

Well, this is about the fifth-billionth time I've either had to leave first block or come in late. Talked to H today and then I got shot in the ass, literally. He said I should probably get certain things done earlier and that I'll have the baby delivered in January or February depending on how things are going. He's trying to shoot for the seven months.

January- February, it sounds so far away but when I look at these first few weeks it seems so quick. Anyways, Mr. Soderman wasn't happy at all when I came in and then took five minutes to sit down. Then in gym everyone was making fun of me because they thought I was messing around. I know that they're thinking of the old Brendon, but I was a little annoyed when I told them to stop and they started laughing even harder. Not cool. Ryan wasn't in class today and I was actually hoping to catch a glimpse of something.

Now this was all before third block, I had no clue that my day was about to do a 180. This was our nine minute passing time and I was by William's locker with Spencer and that one Jon kid, when who comes sauntering by with his Modest Mouse t-shirt and tan blazer?

And what do I do in this situation? I make myself sound so obnoxious.

Laugh loudly.

Louder.

Make a joke, with wild hand motions.

End up flirting with two straight guys.

Insanity reached.

"Ryan?" Pete said sounding some-what puzzled.

"Hi, Pete… hey- Brendon." My knees gave out, as he looked up from the floor into my eyes. Pure guilt was behind those killer hazels, "How's it going Spence?"

"Good, man. You?"

"Good, just wondering if any of you wanted to hang out Friday?"

Silent gasps went though the group, William looked at Pete, and Spencer shrugged. I had a wave of sick happiness go to my feet and then to my finger tips.

"Does that include me?" Jon started with a smile (the only one in the group), "Because I'll come, I need something to do."

"Uh, sure," Ryan grabbed his elbow, then he looked at the locker behind me. No more words came from his mouth, but my heart was about go into cardiac arrest.

"I'll bring a movie." I blurted, having the need I felt to see him.

Pete glared and William quickly added he'd come too. How come you can be so mad at someone, and yet the second you have the chance to forgive them, your forgiveness is readily on hand? Even after all of the shitty things they've done, none of it seems to matter?

Together we'll reinvent love.

The five minute bell rang and all of us split to our own lockers to gather our belongings for class. Ryan was the last to leave, he looked pretty messed up anyways, but now he looked worse- if that's possible.