Trying to Stay Alive

I fell asleep and when i woke up the sun was out. i stood up adn went to the balcony and looked out. it was really pretty. only if i could pause time then. there was no screaming and nothing being thrown. I saw a paper boy and he stopped and looked at me. He finally stopped looking at me after someone called his name. i went back inside and grabbed my things and left. i was gonna walk around town today. even if i would end up coming home and hurting myself from what everyone says to me. i was gonna sit on a swing at the park but there were kids using them all so i jsut sat on the bench and watched them. god how i wish i was that young again. that was better then. my parents never fought and they never hit me. i still remeber how we used to be. even though every time they hit me or fight or throw things it makes it harder for me to remember but i still try. i need the happy memories to get by