Trying to Stay Alive

For the Next few days me and Frank stayed at his house. His mom liked me I guess. Thats what frank told me at least. I was slowly getting back to my normal self. Or so thats what i was trying to think. I mean yes i would break down after Frank left me. But When he came back i would make an excuse that i hurt myslef. Like stubbing my toe on something or burining myself. But I never really told him what was going on in my head. Even though its only been about 2 weeks since my mom died i still couldnt handle it anymore. I would cut myself. One night I cut a little to deep and I quickly took myself to the hospital. When they asked me how it happened I lie and said I was cooking and I accidentally cut myself with the knife i was using. He believed me and stiched my cut and then sent me on my way. When I got home Frank was there. He ran to me and kissed me. All the pain i had felt had left me. I became happy. But who knew that my happiness was going to stop very soon.

"Karla babe guess what"
"What?" I asked smileing
"Were making it"
"Who"
"The guys and me where going on tour for the band"
"Oh how long are you gonna be gone" I asked feeling the pain come back.
"Well right now were just thinking a few months"
"Oh...Ok" I cant believe hes leaving me when i need him the most.
"Babe you ok" he asked
"Yea i'm fine" I walked to my room and shut the door. I sat on the bed and started crying. I was gonna do something bad if he was gone that long. I need the help right now. I got up and walked out of the house and went for a walk. Frank tried to stop me but i wouldnt let him see me like i was. I walked around for awhile then went back. Frank was there waiting.

"Babe whats wrong with you"
"Frank I can let you leave me for that long..."
"Why..I mean where going to try and get big cant you be happy for me...and the band"
"Frank I am happy but if you leave i might....Nevermind"
"what" he was getting mad at me now.
"Nothing"
"Karla tell me or im gonna leave and not even say goodbye"
"Frank you cant do that to me..." i started crying "Frank I need you to keep me strong otherwise i might do something i'll regret"
"Shh karla just tell me what you might do"
"Follow me" I said and we walked to my room and into the bathroom and i pulled out the razor that still had blood on it. "i might do this again but maybe i'll do it so deep that ill end up dead...you make me happy and when your around you help me without you i feel pain and i cant get rid of it until i see you again."
"Karla babe" he said and took me in his arms "babe i will talk to you everyday i promise...we just need to do this.... tell me you understand" he said and all i wanted to scream was why not take me with you then but i didnt.
"i understand" i said even though i didnt. "Why cant i just come with you" I kept saying that over and over in my head.
"Babe we dont have enough room in the van for another person" Omg did he actually hear what i was saying.
"Oh i understand" I said and kissed him one last time. "Good bye frank" I said and walked out of his house once again. He was leaving in a day or so. I might as well start getting used to him not being around anymore. Little did i know he was following me to where i was going.