Note to Self
Ch 12
Note:
I have started a new section for this series. I decided it'd be good to have a little view on what went down while Zakky and Kyler were little kids. In the story Kyler is five and Zakky is eight. Enjoy and let me know what you think.
http://www.mibba.com/story/gothic-hero/Killing-Innocence/
A Week Later
Eddie's POV
Why wasn't he home? I looked at the clock. Six. I sighed. Ari was sitting on the couch texting with Reese and Reggie. River was throwing pieces of paper at Ari. "River, stop." I said. River stopped but started sending messages to Ari. Ari glared at him. "River." I held out my hand for the phone. He sighed and handed to me. I read the messages and was so shocked. River had been such a nice kid. Now he was mean and hateful. Ari had been like Zakky as far as personality went. Now he was like Kyler. I loved Kyler like a brother that I didn't really know, but Ari was my son. I knew everything about him. I couldn't bare it if he died. I couldn't. Zakky finally came in at six-thirty with roses.
"Sorry I'm late." He kissed me. "I had a patient that took a little longer than I expected."
"It's okay." I smiled. "I just had dinner ready. I think it's cold now…"
"Who wants cold spaghetti?" River asked. Ari shot him a glare.
"Let the boys order a pizza. We're going out."
"Really?" We hadn't gone out just the two of since I could remember.
“Yeah.” I looked over at Ari who was pleading with his eyes. He went back to his phone and second later, mine sounded. I picked it up.
Don’t leave me alone with him plz!!!!!
“Okay.” I hugged Zakky. “Ari, you can have Reese and Reggie over.” He beamed and hugged us then ran out the door to go get his friends.
“What kind of pizza do you want?” Zakky asked dialing a number.
“Uh…meat lovers from Pizza Hut.” Ari’s most hated pizza. He wasn’t a big meat person, yet not vegetarian. Zakky scrunched up his nose. He and Kyler were vegetarian. Kyler had gone vegetarian the same time Zakky did. Zakky was ten and Kyler was seven. He idolized everything about Zakky.
“We’re not getting Pizza Hut.”
“Then get a lot of meat on it.” Zakky made a gagging motion and ordered that and vegetarian cheese pizza. I found the sound of it funny. It sounded so repetitive, but Zakky told me that you had to say that or they could use none-vegetarian stuff. Ari came back with his friends and Reggie’s little brother, Kieran. Kieran smiled at Ari. He was fifteen. I knew he was not a straight muffin. It was just by the way he looked at Ari that I knew this and he was crushing over my son.
“Hi boys.” I said. They waved.
“What’s up Eddie?” Reese asked.
“Going out.” I smiled. He nodded. Zakky hung up and greeted them too.
Ari’s POV
“Okay guys, we’re gonna go now. You guys can spend the night. We’re probably not going to be home until after midnight. Ari, you have our cell number if you need anything. Uh, you can also call Addie and Sean or J.D. and Aaron. The money’s on the counter. Bye.” Daddy said kissing my forehead and going out the door. “Love you.”
“Love you.” Eddie said. Five minutes later, Reese looked at me.
“I’ve known you for like fifteen years and I still can’t believe how gay your dad sounds. Zakky I mean. Not Eddie. Eddie could pass as straight if he did have that laugh. But Zakky…he’s flaming gay. No offense or anything.”
“It’s fine. You’re gay and all. He’s really proud of who he is. He’s really open about it. And about his voice. Well…I mean I don’t really notice that much.” I said.
“That’s probably because you’ve been around him since you were born and you’re used to it.” Kieran said smiling. I nodded.
“You’re probably right.” Reggie nodded. “I didn’t really notice that much about the Australian accent my stepmom has, but I’ve known her my entire life.”
“Can you emo fucks shut up? I’m trying to watch the game.” River said turning the TV up.
“Oh wow…a football game. How exciting.” Reggie muttered. “Dude, your gay and your into sports. I’m straight I couldn’t give shit about it.”
“That’s because you’re a fuck.” River said. The doorbell rang and I grabbed the money opening the door. Reese and unplugged the TV and River was cussing like a gangster.
“Sorry.” I mumbled taking the pizza and handing him the money.
“Dude, this is a twenty dollar tip.” The guy said.
“Enjoy.” I smiled closing the door. I opened a small and saw a disgusting meat infested pizza. I handed it to River and hand the rest of them to the guys. I loved my friends. We went to my room and ate. Kieran was dancing to music and started giving me lap dance. I started laughing and Kieran sat in my lap, kissing me.
“Kieran, get away from him. He’s my best friend.”
“So?” Kieran said. “I love him. I have for like two years.” I was surprised.
“What do you think Ar?” I shrugged smiling. Kieran was pretty hot.
“I’m game.”
“Fine. Knock yourselves out.” Reggie said continuing the game of speed he was playing with Reese. Kieran and I started making out. I felt weird. I hadn't ever liked a guy like this. I liked him a timid, shy way that made butterflies erupt in my stomach. With every kiss and touch, more erupted. I kissed him timidly, and he kissed strongly. Dudes…why were so many people into me? I was gross. I looked at myself in the mirror as Kieran I snuggled watching the game. I was so ew. It wasn’t right. I got up and went to get a glass of water.
“What are you guys doing?” River glared. I just looked at him. “You have sex hair.” I rolled my eyes and went to the bathroom. I stared at my reflection. I wasn’t worth it. Kieran would be over me quickly once he knew me. It was amazing how long he’d liked me. I picked up a razor and cut my wrists…
Kieran’s POV
I was so happy! I finally got myself to be open. I finally came out. I finally stopped lying to myself. Reggie didn’t seem to care. Neither did Reese. I was so happy that Ari’s parents were going out tonight. When he’d come and asked if we could come by, I was ecstatic. Reggie left a note for mom and Gigi. I remember when my mom left my dad. It ripped our family apart. We weren’t allowed to see our mom for three years then he died. Cancer. I hated it. I hated cancer. I had known Gigi my entire life. She was a family friend. When Dad found out my mom was having an affair with her, he flipped and took us to New York. Reggie was mad. He loved it here in Washington. It was so beautiful here. He hated not seeing his friends. Reese and Ari meant the world to him. He also hated being away from Mom and Gigi. He loved them both. He hated Dad. Always had. Dad hated him too, but didn’t want him near people who did. Dad hit Reggie a lot. It scared me. He’d say that it was because Reggie was a freak. Reggie would never amount to anything. Reggie would run away a lot and go to Gigi’s house before we moved. Reggie cut a lot. I knew he still did. He said he didn’t, but I knew he did.
“What are you thinking about?” Reggie asked me.
“Nothing.” I noticed Reese was gone. We were the only ones in the room. A faint mumble from the announcers on TV came into the room.
“No seriously.” Reggie sat next to me.
“Dad…you.” Reggie move a little uncomfortably.
“Don’t talk about him okay?”
“Sure.” We were quiet for a little while. “Can I ask you something?”
“Go for it.”
“Do you still cut? And be completely honest. I’m not going to tell anyone. You know I never did before. I just need for you to tell me.” Reggie was shaking.
“Uh, um, if you tell anyone…”
“I know.”
“Yeah.” He said.
“Thought so.” Reese and Ari came back in.
“What’s up with you?” Reese asked Reggie.
“Nothing.” Reggie quickly wiped his eyes. I knew that Reese and Ari never knew about the abuse that Reggie had faced when he was younger and they probably didn’t know about his cutting. I guessed they never would. Even though they were all three emo kids and completely understood, neither of the other two would ever cut.
I have started a new section for this series. I decided it'd be good to have a little view on what went down while Zakky and Kyler were little kids. In the story Kyler is five and Zakky is eight. Enjoy and let me know what you think.
http://www.mibba.com/story/gothic-hero/Killing-Innocence/
A Week Later
Eddie's POV
Why wasn't he home? I looked at the clock. Six. I sighed. Ari was sitting on the couch texting with Reese and Reggie. River was throwing pieces of paper at Ari. "River, stop." I said. River stopped but started sending messages to Ari. Ari glared at him. "River." I held out my hand for the phone. He sighed and handed to me. I read the messages and was so shocked. River had been such a nice kid. Now he was mean and hateful. Ari had been like Zakky as far as personality went. Now he was like Kyler. I loved Kyler like a brother that I didn't really know, but Ari was my son. I knew everything about him. I couldn't bare it if he died. I couldn't. Zakky finally came in at six-thirty with roses.
"Sorry I'm late." He kissed me. "I had a patient that took a little longer than I expected."
"It's okay." I smiled. "I just had dinner ready. I think it's cold now…"
"Who wants cold spaghetti?" River asked. Ari shot him a glare.
"Let the boys order a pizza. We're going out."
"Really?" We hadn't gone out just the two of since I could remember.
“Yeah.” I looked over at Ari who was pleading with his eyes. He went back to his phone and second later, mine sounded. I picked it up.
Don’t leave me alone with him plz!!!!!
“Okay.” I hugged Zakky. “Ari, you can have Reese and Reggie over.” He beamed and hugged us then ran out the door to go get his friends.
“What kind of pizza do you want?” Zakky asked dialing a number.
“Uh…meat lovers from Pizza Hut.” Ari’s most hated pizza. He wasn’t a big meat person, yet not vegetarian. Zakky scrunched up his nose. He and Kyler were vegetarian. Kyler had gone vegetarian the same time Zakky did. Zakky was ten and Kyler was seven. He idolized everything about Zakky.
“We’re not getting Pizza Hut.”
“Then get a lot of meat on it.” Zakky made a gagging motion and ordered that and vegetarian cheese pizza. I found the sound of it funny. It sounded so repetitive, but Zakky told me that you had to say that or they could use none-vegetarian stuff. Ari came back with his friends and Reggie’s little brother, Kieran. Kieran smiled at Ari. He was fifteen. I knew he was not a straight muffin. It was just by the way he looked at Ari that I knew this and he was crushing over my son.
“Hi boys.” I said. They waved.
“What’s up Eddie?” Reese asked.
“Going out.” I smiled. He nodded. Zakky hung up and greeted them too.
Ari’s POV
“Okay guys, we’re gonna go now. You guys can spend the night. We’re probably not going to be home until after midnight. Ari, you have our cell number if you need anything. Uh, you can also call Addie and Sean or J.D. and Aaron. The money’s on the counter. Bye.” Daddy said kissing my forehead and going out the door. “Love you.”
“Love you.” Eddie said. Five minutes later, Reese looked at me.
“I’ve known you for like fifteen years and I still can’t believe how gay your dad sounds. Zakky I mean. Not Eddie. Eddie could pass as straight if he did have that laugh. But Zakky…he’s flaming gay. No offense or anything.”
“It’s fine. You’re gay and all. He’s really proud of who he is. He’s really open about it. And about his voice. Well…I mean I don’t really notice that much.” I said.
“That’s probably because you’ve been around him since you were born and you’re used to it.” Kieran said smiling. I nodded.
“You’re probably right.” Reggie nodded. “I didn’t really notice that much about the Australian accent my stepmom has, but I’ve known her my entire life.”
“Can you emo fucks shut up? I’m trying to watch the game.” River said turning the TV up.
“Oh wow…a football game. How exciting.” Reggie muttered. “Dude, your gay and your into sports. I’m straight I couldn’t give shit about it.”
“That’s because you’re a fuck.” River said. The doorbell rang and I grabbed the money opening the door. Reese and unplugged the TV and River was cussing like a gangster.
“Sorry.” I mumbled taking the pizza and handing him the money.
“Dude, this is a twenty dollar tip.” The guy said.
“Enjoy.” I smiled closing the door. I opened a small and saw a disgusting meat infested pizza. I handed it to River and hand the rest of them to the guys. I loved my friends. We went to my room and ate. Kieran was dancing to music and started giving me lap dance. I started laughing and Kieran sat in my lap, kissing me.
“Kieran, get away from him. He’s my best friend.”
“So?” Kieran said. “I love him. I have for like two years.” I was surprised.
“What do you think Ar?” I shrugged smiling. Kieran was pretty hot.
“I’m game.”
“Fine. Knock yourselves out.” Reggie said continuing the game of speed he was playing with Reese. Kieran and I started making out. I felt weird. I hadn't ever liked a guy like this. I liked him a timid, shy way that made butterflies erupt in my stomach. With every kiss and touch, more erupted. I kissed him timidly, and he kissed strongly. Dudes…why were so many people into me? I was gross. I looked at myself in the mirror as Kieran I snuggled watching the game. I was so ew. It wasn’t right. I got up and went to get a glass of water.
“What are you guys doing?” River glared. I just looked at him. “You have sex hair.” I rolled my eyes and went to the bathroom. I stared at my reflection. I wasn’t worth it. Kieran would be over me quickly once he knew me. It was amazing how long he’d liked me. I picked up a razor and cut my wrists…
Kieran’s POV
I was so happy! I finally got myself to be open. I finally came out. I finally stopped lying to myself. Reggie didn’t seem to care. Neither did Reese. I was so happy that Ari’s parents were going out tonight. When he’d come and asked if we could come by, I was ecstatic. Reggie left a note for mom and Gigi. I remember when my mom left my dad. It ripped our family apart. We weren’t allowed to see our mom for three years then he died. Cancer. I hated it. I hated cancer. I had known Gigi my entire life. She was a family friend. When Dad found out my mom was having an affair with her, he flipped and took us to New York. Reggie was mad. He loved it here in Washington. It was so beautiful here. He hated not seeing his friends. Reese and Ari meant the world to him. He also hated being away from Mom and Gigi. He loved them both. He hated Dad. Always had. Dad hated him too, but didn’t want him near people who did. Dad hit Reggie a lot. It scared me. He’d say that it was because Reggie was a freak. Reggie would never amount to anything. Reggie would run away a lot and go to Gigi’s house before we moved. Reggie cut a lot. I knew he still did. He said he didn’t, but I knew he did.
“What are you thinking about?” Reggie asked me.
“Nothing.” I noticed Reese was gone. We were the only ones in the room. A faint mumble from the announcers on TV came into the room.
“No seriously.” Reggie sat next to me.
“Dad…you.” Reggie move a little uncomfortably.
“Don’t talk about him okay?”
“Sure.” We were quiet for a little while. “Can I ask you something?”
“Go for it.”
“Do you still cut? And be completely honest. I’m not going to tell anyone. You know I never did before. I just need for you to tell me.” Reggie was shaking.
“Uh, um, if you tell anyone…”
“I know.”
“Yeah.” He said.
“Thought so.” Reese and Ari came back in.
“What’s up with you?” Reese asked Reggie.
“Nothing.” Reggie quickly wiped his eyes. I knew that Reese and Ari never knew about the abuse that Reggie had faced when he was younger and they probably didn’t know about his cutting. I guessed they never would. Even though they were all three emo kids and completely understood, neither of the other two would ever cut.