Note to Self

The Next Day:
Ash's POV
"How was the concert?" Dad asked me.
"Um, it was great. Ari's amazing."
"He's something special." Dad smiled.
"What's wrong with him?"
"What?"
"What's wrong with him?"
"Um, he was born late. He was oxygen deprived five minutes. It messed some things up, but he's fine." I looked at the table.
"When he's doing music, he's different. He seems perfectly normal."
"Yeah. He's meant to do music. It's some much to him."
"The drummer was making fun of him last night. He made Ari cry."
"People don't know how to treat him. It's sad, but that's how things go."
"It's not fair. Ari should be allowed to do what he wants without problems."
"The sad thing is, that's the least of his problems. He has kids that hate him because he has two dads. I hope you and Aqua don't have to go through it."
"We don't." I didn't care what people said, and people just didn't talk to my sister.
Aqua's POV
Ari was over with Emily and their dad Zakky. Ari was so nice. He let me show him all my drawings. "Ash lets me but he sometimes gets bored." I explained.
"They're really good." He said. I looked at him and smiled. I kissed his cheek.
"You're a really nice person Ari."
"Thanks."
"Can I read your lyrics?"
"Don't have any with me?"
"Can you sing them?"
"No. Can't without a guitar." I nodded.
"What if you just said them?" He moved uncomfortably.
"Uh, I'd rather not."
"Please?"
"Well I'll tell you the chorus of the song I'm writing, okay? But only if you promise not to make fun of me."
"I promise."
"For the century to end, You have to follow me my friend, Be my friend to the end of the burning fear. Tell me you love me and hold it dear. To my heart you will stay. Just listen when I say, we're different and as I listen, only till the end." I didn't get it, but it sounded sad. "That's all I have so far."

Three Months Later
Emily's POV
I was walking around the mall with Billy and my best friend Julie along with Ari, Reese and Reggie. Ari had been unusually quiet for sometime. He ever didn't like talking much, but this was odd. Julie grabbed my hand and pulled me next to her. "What?" I asked.
"So, your brother, is he like single?"
"Yeah." Not many girls wanted to date him.
"Do you think he likes me?"
"What?" I was shocked. The fact that my brother would ever date never crossed my mind. He reminded me too much of a dependent duckling.
"Well, he's so adorable. I love how he doesn't get jokes until an hour later."
"Julie, he's not really looking."
"Oh…" I felt bad having to tell her the news. She nodded. We all went to this pizza place.
"You guys ever seen King of the Hill?" Reese asked.
"Who hasn't seen that show?" Billy asked.
"I saw it once." Ari said. Reese nodded.
"Okay then you'll get it. There was this one episode where Hank was in the lawn maintenance store and Hank picks up a hoe and says what do you think Peggy does this say Hank Hill to you? And then Peggy says I don't know why men are attracted to hoes." We all started laughing. Ari sat there repeating the punch line over and over.
"You not get it?" Billy asked.
"Not really." Billy rolled his eyes.
"You will." I glared at Billy. You did not insult my brother in front of me. "Sorry." He muttered. We went back to my house and started watching a movie. Twenty minutes through Ari started laughing.
"What?" Reese asked.
"I got it."
"Oh. That's so cute!" Julie said hugging him. He gave her a confused look and started watching the movie.

Aqua's POV
"What are you reading?" My friend Shila asked.
"Um, some random book. It's called A Child Called It. It's really good."
"You read too much Aqua."
"You just don't read enough."
"So you know that sophomore you're friends with?"
"Ari? Yeah."
"It's so cool you have a friend in high school and we're in sixth grade!"
"Yeah. I've known him since I was adopted."
"I know, but still."
"What about him?"
"He's really cute." I nodded.
"He's so nice. I love him. In a friendly sort of way. Do you find it weird that the word friend has end in it? Does that imply that friendships all come to an end?"
"I don't know. I think we should vow that we shall never stop being friends."
"Agreed." I smiled and laid back on my pillow.
"Is Ari coming over today?"
"Probably. He's here all the time. His parents and mine are so close."
"That's cool."
"Mhm. Did you know that Ari's sister Emily is his twin? Like he's actually related to his sister. I'd give anything to be actually related to my brother."
"I'm sure that it's better the way it is."
"No. It's not."
"How?"
"Well if I were like dying and needed a kidney, he might not be a match."
"And when is that going to happen?"
"I don't know, but you never know."
"Aqua, you said that you had a brother." I nodded.
"Yeah. Jesse."
"What happened to him?"
"He got shot by our dad."
"Oh…"
"I don't want to talk about before the guys adopted me. I remember being so scared when the lady told me I was gonna have two new daddies until I saw them. They were so awesome. I was so happy. And Ash was crying." I smiled to myself. "I don't know what would have happened to me if I hadn't been saved by this family."
"It must suck. Not really knowing what's gonna happen to you."
"Yeah, it does." I went back to reading.
"Hey bookworm." I heard Ari's familiar greeting.
"Ari!" I jumped up and hugged him.
"Long time, no see right?" He asked. I nodded.
"I've missed you. This is my best friend Shila."
"Hi." Shila mumbled.
"Hi." Ari looked at me. "I don't like meeting new people what if she makes fun of me?" He whispered.
"Do you really care what a twelve year old thinks?"
"Yeah." He said.
"Well you're amazing."
"Thanks." He smiled. I loved him. I don't know what it was about him, but I did. Call it a crush, whatever you will, but Ari Carson-Mathis was my boyfriend. Yeah, he didn't know it, but still.
"Guess what?" I asked.
"Hm?"
"I made a drawing for you."
"You did?"
"Yeah." I handed him the picture. It was him on a stage with a bunch of screaming fans. He had a guitar and was singing. Reese and Reggie were in the background. You could only see a little bit of the drum set, so Billy's arm was the only thing you saw as far as he went."
"This is wonderful." He said. "Thank you!" He hugged me. "Where's your brother?"
"He's hanging out with Kai."
"Who's Kai?"
"Um, his girlfriend, well best friend, but best friends always turn that way when they're opposite genders."
"Makes sense."
Eddie's POV
I looked at Zakky. He looked so lost. He wasn't the same person I married seventeen years ago. He'd first stopped being the Zakky I fell in love with when his parents died. What was left of him was demolished by Kyler's death. I sat down in his lap, hugging him. "You okay?"
"Yeah." He said quietly.
"Honey, what's bothering you?"
"What would have happened if I was with Kyler? Do you think he would have lived?"
"Zakky, there's nothing you could have done."
"Well I still think about it…"
"Stop okay? He's in a better place now. He's in heaven."
"How do you know?"
"Because. J.D. knows. If J.D. knows, then we should believe it."
"What if he's not?"
"He is, but even if he's not, if we believe he's in heaven, then at least until we die, then we'll be happier." He nodded. "Now I say that we go have fun. I need to take your mind off of sad things and put them on happy things like…" I whispered into his ear my plans for the night.
"But Eddie, the kids…"
"Like they don't know we have sex."
"Ari probably doesn't."
"Ari doesn’t even know what sex is Zakky, but he does know that he dad's need to bang or we'll die. This is not a laughing, worrying about the kids matter." Zakky smiled.
"Should we tell him? I mean he is sixteen. You know how much we'd done by that age?"
"Hm, yeah. I guess, but not right now."
Zakky's POV
I laid there breathing hard as Eddie sucked me off. I couldn't remember the last time we'd gotten to have this passionate of a session. Eddie kissed me. "You ready?" He asked seductively. I nodded my breathing still hard.
It was wonderful. Everything Eddie ever did was wonderful. I smiled at him as he lay next to me. "So?" Eddie asked.
"So what?"
"That take your mind and put it in happyland?"
"Um, yeah." Eddie laid on top of me and kissed me.
"I'm glad. Up for round two of Eddie's medicine?"
"Babe, I would, but I have work and I have to take a shower."
"In the morning?"
"Mhm."
"Well this is tonight silly." He said as he slowly pushed in.
"Eddie, I have to sleep to." I said my words coming with great difficulty.
"Oh, I'll be quick." Ten minutes later, we were sound asleep. I woke up to Eddie stroking my stomach. I looked at the clock. Ten-thirty.
"Shit." I muttered and jumped out of bed.
"What's wrong?"
"I was supposed to be at the office like two hours ago! I've missed two patients!" I said running into the shower. Eddie got in with me.
"Don't worry. I called and told your assistant that we had a night and you needed your rest. I said you were going to take the whole day off. She said that wouldn't be a problem and that she'd just split the patients who still wanted to come in among the other two in the psych-ward."
"Have I told you lately that I love you?" I asked.
"Uh, that would be a no. Not in a month at least anyway."
"Sorry. I do though. I promise." Eddie smiled.
"But it goes without saying. Like the way you look at me. With every touch. I know you love me."
"You're so romantic Ed."
"Mhm, don't call me Ed. We've been through this since we were little kids."
"I know, but it's so cute when you tell me that." I kissed him and we finished our shower.
Ari's POV
I looked at the clock. Two. I had a speech therapy appointment at two ten. Where were my dads? "Mr. Carson?" I looked at my teacher.
"Yes ma'am?"
"The councilor would like a word with you." She handed me a slip of paper and I gathered up my things before heading to Ms. Rene's office.
"Ari, sit down. So how are you doing?"
"I’m good I guess."
"Well that's great. How do you feel that your academics are doing?"
"Um, okay. I have B's in everything now."
"And how are things at home?"
"Good. Great actually. Why?"
"I have to ask because of this whole adoption thing. Okay. Uh, your sister said that you're having problems."
"She doesn't really get me." I explained. "She thinks that I'm stupid or something. I know I am, but she shouldn't think it and my dad's are perfect to me." She nodded.
"Ari, having two fathers has got to be hard. Do you like it?"
"Yeah. They're really wonderful." She nodded again.
"But how do you think it compares to a heterosexual lifestyle?"
"Mm, I'd say it's pretty much the same, 'cept they love you more, they're more accepting, they love you more. I think that if I had a mother and a father, that I'd be more uptight." I nodded to myself. I hated these meeting they constantly put us through. They wanted to take us from the men who raised us.
"And do you ever wish that your fathers weren't gay?" All the time. Every time some ass opened their fat mouth. Every time someone would beat me up. Every time someone called me a fag.
"No."
"Okay, well our session is done. You can go to the attendance office to be checked out." I jumped to my feet and went to the attendance office. I saw my parents holding hands. I wanted to run the other direction. If Jerry or his friends saw, I'd get beat up. I loved them, so why was I so embarrassed that they loved each other? I stepped into the attendance office and they led me to the car.
"Are you feeling okay?"
"Yeah." I answered. Eddie looked at Zakky.
"Are sure?"
"Mhm."
"What happened at school?"
"Um, school stuff." I said staring out the window. I hated how when I was with them in public I hated them. Why was it like that? I loved them. Just because people beat me up, didn't give me a reason for this. "I just I feel like if you're together in public that I'm not safe or something."
Eddie's POV
Those words stung. People made my little boy feel like he shouldn't have gay parents. Well who's to say that if Kyler lived he would have married a girl and not J.D.? Who's to say that Ari wouldn't have gone through this anyway? I'd had that talk with Zakky more times than I could remember. "Sorry." I mumbled.
"It's not you guy's fault. I thought you were supposed to be at work." He said looking at Zakky.
"Well, um, things come up."
"Like the noises?" Zakky nodded. "What's going on in there?"
"Uh, well if, when you love someone…you uh, well you have a certain level of um, love that you show. When the time becomes appropriate, and to most it's after marriage, um they have sex."
"I know. What's that?"
"Uh, well…" Zakky explained it to him. After five minutes Ari spoke up.
"Hey wait, so that was for guy on girl, you said that what you guys have is called sodomy?"
"Yeah." Zakky answered. I wasn't saying a word about sex. That was Zakky's area. He was a doctor…maybe a mind doctor, but still it wasn't something that made him freak out about telling someone.
"What is that?" Zakky explained that to him as well. After ten minutes Ari said, "Sounds like that would hurt. Is that why you scream?" I had taken a drink of Pepsi and it was now burning my nose. I coughed and sputtered.
"What's wrong?" Zakky asked.
"Nothing."
"Well?" Ari said. He was so impatient. I was having a coughing fit, and he just wanted to know if it hurt. Well I know when I've been unloved.
"At first like until you get used to it. It feels real good though." Zakky answered taking my hand. Ari blinked a few times before nodding.
"I see." Most kids would have freaked when their parents gave them the whole sex talk, especially when it involved their parents sex lives. Not Ari. Ari was focused on one thing and one thing only, understanding. When he was little his not understanding things and his speech problems weren't even there. You couldn't tell. It wasn't until he was thirteen that it started. He blacked out one day and it started. The doctors said it was due to what happened at birth. Ari had gone two and half years with the struggle to understand. I felt so horrible about it. At first, he'd cry in frustration. Now he just tried really hard to understand. Zakky helped him with that. He got him a tutor that explained things slowly and a speech therapist. Ari's problems were minute now. Ari leaned against the back of the seat and I looked ahead. I heard something and looked back at Ari who was silently crying.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"Nothing." I whispered.
"Baby, what's wrong. Why are you crying?"
"Because normal people get it. I can't. I'm trying, but it's not working! I'm sick of it." It was hard for me to make out the words.
"Sweetie, you will. I know. You a really smart kid. It just takes you a while."
"I don't want to be like this. Why did it have to happen? I was so smart. I was so good at things."
"But honey, you always had the moments where you'd black out." His moments he'd just go out cold. The one that made the problems he was struggling with now was the last one he ever had. He wasn't good with music. He couldn't sing, write lyrics or play guitar to save his life. Now, it was like so great band. Like My Chemical Romance or From First To Last. Things flowed that shouldn't. His life was changed by music. I mentioned this.
"But I'd rather suck at music than suck at life." He whispered.