Note to Self
Ch 4
Six Months Later: February 10
Emily's POV
"Ari! We're seventeen!" I squealed jumping on his bed.
"Go away." He groaned. But I sounded like, "Gay."
"Oh, get up!"
"I'm sleeping." He said. That said sounded like "M leaping."
"Ari get the fuck up or I will push you off the bed!" I threatened.
"Fine. I'm up. You happy?"
"Yes." I hugged him. "And tell your speech therapist that he's not doing a good job." I danced out of the room and into Dad.
"Hold up Emmy."
"Where's Dad?" I asked.
"Sleeping."
"Another night?" I rolled me eyes. Dad's blonde hair was defiantly sex hair. No doubt about it.
"Hey, we're in love and married okay? Married, in-love people can have nights can't they?" I rolled my eyes.
"Not when it affects my birthday plans."
"What?"
"Yeah, your nights involve him getting so tired he sleep until nine. I want him up now."
"Emily, if you want to do anything for your birthday, you better stop being a bossy-poo." I glared at him as he laughed walking past me. I went into their room. Ew…I hate that smell.
"Dad!" I hissed. "Dad! Daddy!"
"Emily!" Dad called.
"I'm not doing anything!" I insisted. Dad closed the door and led me to kitchen. "If you want, I can pull out some blonde hair and give it to Ari." I said.
"You're being really mean." Ari muttered from the table where he was playing with his cereal.
"I didn't get that. What?"
"Emily!" Dad said. "Don’t." I rolled my eyes.
"I want my birthday to be perfect."
"Well it's my birthday too." Ari said.
"Um…and I care why?"
"Happy birthday Ari." Dad said hugging my brother. "And Emma."
"Well look who decided to make an appearance." I muttered. He looked at me but other Dad hugged his waist.
"Morning love."
"Hey Eddie." I rolled my eyes.
"Get a shower…"
"Okay." Dad dragged him to the bathroom.
"Whore." I muttered. Ari glanced at me. "What?" I asked.
"What's up your butt?" He hissed.
"Um, nothing. I think that's something you should be asking Zakky."
"What?"
"Because Daddy Eddie's dick is what he'd say." Ari looked confused then glared at me.
"Stop making fun of them."
"I'm not. It's true honey." I poured myself some food.
Zakky's POV
I was buttoning up a black shirt as Eddie pulled on some jeans. "What do you think Zak? These sexy enough?"
"Mhm." I smiled.
"What's up?" He asked.
"Um, nothing. It's just this would have been Kyler's thirty-second birthday." Eddie nodded.
"You wanna go put black roses on his grave?"
"And red and purple." I smiled.
"Oh, but Emma might blow a fuse! She's been really mean to Ari lately."
"I know." We finished getting dressed and went into the living room where Ari had tears falling down his face. Emily looked accomplished.
"What's going on?"
"I told him he needed to get an engine checked because his check engine light has been on for a while." Emily muttered.
"And I don't get it, but I know it's bad." Ari muttered.
"Emily you need to start being nice." I said. "Come on guys." Ari followed me quickly. Emily lagged behind. We bought the roses and drove to the graveyard.
"Uh, what the hell are we doing here?" Emily asked. Ari remained his silent self. Eddie told her to hush and I made my way to a headstone that read:
Here Lies:
Kyler Liam Andrews-Carson
February 10, 1992 – May 3, 2007
Beloved Son, Brother and Friend
Note to Self: I miss you terribly
I ran my fingers over the engraved words. I hugged my self. Tears filled my eyes. "Happy birthday Ky." I whispered laying the roses down. "I miss you. I love you. Your kids are so awesome. You would have loved them."
Ari's POV
I looked at what the headstone said. I knew it was our dad's grave. I looked at the years. He had only turned fifteen a few months prior. I chewed on my lip. I had thoughts of suicide at times, but I knew that wasn't really the answer. I didn't want to put my family through that. I knew how much it changed my dad when his brother died. Well, I didn't know personally, but according to Dad, it was huge.
"So how lame is it that they took us to an old graveyard for our birthday?" Emily asked.
"Shut up Em. It's dad's grave."
"It's our birthday."
"It's his too. Look." She rolled her eyes.
"Well dead people's birthdays aren't celebrated. Especially the suicidal death ones."
"He's the guy responsible for your life and you don't care? Dad is trying to keep his brother to close to him and you just complain? Stop being such a prep."
"Hey, I am not a prep."
"I beg to differ. You may be punk on the outside, but you're defiantly prep on the inside."
"And you maybe all rocker, but it's an emo rocker." I rolled my eyes. She was trying to insult me and it wasn't working.
Eddie's POV
I hugged Zakky. He didn't deserve this. Emily's complaining was starting to annoy me. "Emily shut up. Ari gets to choose everything we do today." I said.
"What? That's not fair! It's my birthday too you know. Gosh having a twin sucks. Especially you." Ari looked at me and sighed. I knew what he was going through, well actually I didn't. I couldn't imagine it. I also thought I'd never have to deal with someone that was depressed. I have two. My husband and my son. Zakky was only on occasion, but I knew what was bothering both of the men in my life. Zakky missed his brother and Ari wished he were normal. It made sense. I couldn't take either of them doing what Kyler did. I knew that Zakky couldn't take it if me or one of the twins died. He would die. I missed the happy Zakky. The Zakky that loved to tell Kyler about our sex life just to make Ky grossed out. Kyler killed that Zakky. "Dad?" I looked at Emily who was leaning against Ari.
"What?"
"Does every birthday have to involve this?"
"Involve what?"
"Graveyards and Dad being sad?"
"Uh, pretty much." She sighed and stared out the window.
Emily's POV
"Ari! We're seventeen!" I squealed jumping on his bed.
"Go away." He groaned. But I sounded like, "Gay."
"Oh, get up!"
"I'm sleeping." He said. That said sounded like "M leaping."
"Ari get the fuck up or I will push you off the bed!" I threatened.
"Fine. I'm up. You happy?"
"Yes." I hugged him. "And tell your speech therapist that he's not doing a good job." I danced out of the room and into Dad.
"Hold up Emmy."
"Where's Dad?" I asked.
"Sleeping."
"Another night?" I rolled me eyes. Dad's blonde hair was defiantly sex hair. No doubt about it.
"Hey, we're in love and married okay? Married, in-love people can have nights can't they?" I rolled my eyes.
"Not when it affects my birthday plans."
"What?"
"Yeah, your nights involve him getting so tired he sleep until nine. I want him up now."
"Emily, if you want to do anything for your birthday, you better stop being a bossy-poo." I glared at him as he laughed walking past me. I went into their room. Ew…I hate that smell.
"Dad!" I hissed. "Dad! Daddy!"
"Emily!" Dad called.
"I'm not doing anything!" I insisted. Dad closed the door and led me to kitchen. "If you want, I can pull out some blonde hair and give it to Ari." I said.
"You're being really mean." Ari muttered from the table where he was playing with his cereal.
"I didn't get that. What?"
"Emily!" Dad said. "Don’t." I rolled my eyes.
"I want my birthday to be perfect."
"Well it's my birthday too." Ari said.
"Um…and I care why?"
"Happy birthday Ari." Dad said hugging my brother. "And Emma."
"Well look who decided to make an appearance." I muttered. He looked at me but other Dad hugged his waist.
"Morning love."
"Hey Eddie." I rolled my eyes.
"Get a shower…"
"Okay." Dad dragged him to the bathroom.
"Whore." I muttered. Ari glanced at me. "What?" I asked.
"What's up your butt?" He hissed.
"Um, nothing. I think that's something you should be asking Zakky."
"What?"
"Because Daddy Eddie's dick is what he'd say." Ari looked confused then glared at me.
"Stop making fun of them."
"I'm not. It's true honey." I poured myself some food.
Zakky's POV
I was buttoning up a black shirt as Eddie pulled on some jeans. "What do you think Zak? These sexy enough?"
"Mhm." I smiled.
"What's up?" He asked.
"Um, nothing. It's just this would have been Kyler's thirty-second birthday." Eddie nodded.
"You wanna go put black roses on his grave?"
"And red and purple." I smiled.
"Oh, but Emma might blow a fuse! She's been really mean to Ari lately."
"I know." We finished getting dressed and went into the living room where Ari had tears falling down his face. Emily looked accomplished.
"What's going on?"
"I told him he needed to get an engine checked because his check engine light has been on for a while." Emily muttered.
"And I don't get it, but I know it's bad." Ari muttered.
"Emily you need to start being nice." I said. "Come on guys." Ari followed me quickly. Emily lagged behind. We bought the roses and drove to the graveyard.
"Uh, what the hell are we doing here?" Emily asked. Ari remained his silent self. Eddie told her to hush and I made my way to a headstone that read:
Here Lies:
Kyler Liam Andrews-Carson
February 10, 1992 – May 3, 2007
Beloved Son, Brother and Friend
Note to Self: I miss you terribly
I ran my fingers over the engraved words. I hugged my self. Tears filled my eyes. "Happy birthday Ky." I whispered laying the roses down. "I miss you. I love you. Your kids are so awesome. You would have loved them."
Ari's POV
I looked at what the headstone said. I knew it was our dad's grave. I looked at the years. He had only turned fifteen a few months prior. I chewed on my lip. I had thoughts of suicide at times, but I knew that wasn't really the answer. I didn't want to put my family through that. I knew how much it changed my dad when his brother died. Well, I didn't know personally, but according to Dad, it was huge.
"So how lame is it that they took us to an old graveyard for our birthday?" Emily asked.
"Shut up Em. It's dad's grave."
"It's our birthday."
"It's his too. Look." She rolled her eyes.
"Well dead people's birthdays aren't celebrated. Especially the suicidal death ones."
"He's the guy responsible for your life and you don't care? Dad is trying to keep his brother to close to him and you just complain? Stop being such a prep."
"Hey, I am not a prep."
"I beg to differ. You may be punk on the outside, but you're defiantly prep on the inside."
"And you maybe all rocker, but it's an emo rocker." I rolled my eyes. She was trying to insult me and it wasn't working.
Eddie's POV
I hugged Zakky. He didn't deserve this. Emily's complaining was starting to annoy me. "Emily shut up. Ari gets to choose everything we do today." I said.
"What? That's not fair! It's my birthday too you know. Gosh having a twin sucks. Especially you." Ari looked at me and sighed. I knew what he was going through, well actually I didn't. I couldn't imagine it. I also thought I'd never have to deal with someone that was depressed. I have two. My husband and my son. Zakky was only on occasion, but I knew what was bothering both of the men in my life. Zakky missed his brother and Ari wished he were normal. It made sense. I couldn't take either of them doing what Kyler did. I knew that Zakky couldn't take it if me or one of the twins died. He would die. I missed the happy Zakky. The Zakky that loved to tell Kyler about our sex life just to make Ky grossed out. Kyler killed that Zakky. "Dad?" I looked at Emily who was leaning against Ari.
"What?"
"Does every birthday have to involve this?"
"Involve what?"
"Graveyards and Dad being sad?"
"Uh, pretty much." She sighed and stared out the window.