Don't Stop If I Fall
Chapter 11
Once we reached our booth I reluctantly dropped Sonny's hand and slid into the seat across from him.
It was silent for a long while as we both sat, licking our cones.
After a few moments I broke the silence.
"Sonny, why did you move here?" I asked, the curiousity obvious in my voice.
He sighed and he looked at me, his eyes suddenly filled with pain.
I kind of felt bad about asking and was about to tell him to forget it when he answered me.
"Two months ago...my dad died. We lost so much because of it. Our house, our father, any money that we had to buy simple luxeries. Gone. Everything. On my mother's income alone, we didn't have enough money to continue living in California. We didn't even have enough money to continue living with my sister. My twelve year old sister, Casey, lives with my aunt now. In Michigan. I miss her so much. But I barely even miss my dad. I can't help being angry at him, this is all his fault. But I just really wish that everything was back to the way it was before..." His voice was full of agony to a degree that I had never heard before.
It was disturbing and filled me with a feeling of immense sadness and lonliness.
"Sonny...I'm so sorry."
"A-and, Gerard." his voice cracked "Sometimes I just feel like this was all my fault. That maybe, if I was nicer to him and did better in school. If I had followed his instructions and listened to him when he wanted to talk to me instead of rolling my eyes and walking away that maybe...." his voice grew quieter and his eyes brimmed with a steady flow of tears, begging to get out "Maybe he wouldn't have pulled the trigger..." The tears came out and began to soak into his collar before I could do anything.
I sat back, shocked.
His dad had...commited suicide.
I feel really shitty for sticking my nose into such private buisness.
I slowly leaned over and brushed the tears away from his smooth face.
"Baby, no. It wasn't your fault. Never think that was your fault. I'm so sorry."
He pulled me around the table into his side of the booth and wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his head on my shoulder.
"I'm glad your here, Gee." he whispered, then reached up and softly kissed my lips.
I looked down at him, my eyes glinting with love.
"I'm glad I am, too."
It was silent for a long while as we both sat, licking our cones.
After a few moments I broke the silence.
"Sonny, why did you move here?" I asked, the curiousity obvious in my voice.
He sighed and he looked at me, his eyes suddenly filled with pain.
I kind of felt bad about asking and was about to tell him to forget it when he answered me.
"Two months ago...my dad died. We lost so much because of it. Our house, our father, any money that we had to buy simple luxeries. Gone. Everything. On my mother's income alone, we didn't have enough money to continue living in California. We didn't even have enough money to continue living with my sister. My twelve year old sister, Casey, lives with my aunt now. In Michigan. I miss her so much. But I barely even miss my dad. I can't help being angry at him, this is all his fault. But I just really wish that everything was back to the way it was before..." His voice was full of agony to a degree that I had never heard before.
It was disturbing and filled me with a feeling of immense sadness and lonliness.
"Sonny...I'm so sorry."
"A-and, Gerard." his voice cracked "Sometimes I just feel like this was all my fault. That maybe, if I was nicer to him and did better in school. If I had followed his instructions and listened to him when he wanted to talk to me instead of rolling my eyes and walking away that maybe...." his voice grew quieter and his eyes brimmed with a steady flow of tears, begging to get out "Maybe he wouldn't have pulled the trigger..." The tears came out and began to soak into his collar before I could do anything.
I sat back, shocked.
His dad had...commited suicide.
I feel really shitty for sticking my nose into such private buisness.
I slowly leaned over and brushed the tears away from his smooth face.
"Baby, no. It wasn't your fault. Never think that was your fault. I'm so sorry."
He pulled me around the table into his side of the booth and wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his head on my shoulder.
"I'm glad your here, Gee." he whispered, then reached up and softly kissed my lips.
I looked down at him, my eyes glinting with love.
"I'm glad I am, too."