Just Keep Breathing

The kiss had been short and sweet and completely amazing. Once we pulled away our eyes locked and we staid in that position for a while. He leaned his forehead against mine and kept looking at me.

I smiled and pulled away from him, my nerves were getting to me, and I turned away from him and started walking. He came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, making it hard for me to walk.

I turned quickly and he bumped into me. I had a leap of confidence once my nerves were gone and the first kiss was out of the way (and wasn’t too bad either).

“Kiss me Oli.” I said kind of loudly and repeated it in a lower tone so the whole neighborhood didn’t have to hear me.

A grin swept over his whole face and he pulled me into him quickly and kissed me. It was a longer kiss than last time but it was still simple, not making out yet. My heart was beating rapidly as he pecked my lips several times and then let his lips linger on mine for a moment.

I liked it, a lot actually. Kissing had been foreign, but it felt right with him. Maybe him being so experienced and me not made it level out.

“You’re so innocent.” He mumbled against my lips. “Well I mean, ya’know, you’re not a goody-goody, but you’re pretty damn innocent.”

I blushed and nodded and looked down. He lifted my face up and swept my hair off my shoulder. He pecked my lips, then my cheek, then my jaw, and then he placed a cute kiss on my neck. That was quickly becoming a favorite spot.

“We should get back.” I mumbled as he kissed me on the lips again.

“Aw, I was just startin’ to really enjoy kissin’ ya, love.” He said with a smirk, “But, if you insist.”

He grabbed my hand and linked our fingers together, leading me back to the house. Just outside the front door he looked at me and kissed my cheek and opened the door for me. “After you my dear.”

Back inside I noticed that the house had cleared out and only people left were good friends of James and Steven, which meant they all noticed when Oli and I walked through the door. Thank God we weren’t still holding hands or James might have murdered me.

James eyed Oli and me. I knew he wondered what was going on but I didn’t pay attention to him looking at me, instead I went over next to Anna and sat down by here. She was also eyeing me, but in a totally different way.

She stood up quickly and pulled me up the stairs and into my room. She grinned at me, “Okay spill. Did you kiss him?”

“No,” I replied and shrugged, “I chickened out.”

I don’t know why I was lying to Anna. Maybe I was just scared that if Oli turned out to just be looking for someone to kiss and maybe more, then I didn’t want her knowing I fell for it. I wouldn’t be surprised if he told more than one girl that kiss line.

“What? Elle you’re such a loser.” She was smiling thought, “Damn, I was excited for you to get all mushy and gush about it.”

“Sorry.” I replied. I felt kind of bad that I was lying, “Maybe next time I’ll kiss him."

“You better.” She said and poked me in the shoulder before leaving my room and heading back down the stairs.

I didn’t follow her this time. Instead I fell back onto my bed and sighed. My mind just wasn’t letting me be happy.

It was hard to explain, but I felt like there were two sides of me. One yelling at me to be happy and just forget about Oli’s nature and the other was telling me to be cautious and not to trust him at all, that he might just be using me.

&&

“Elle, I don’t like you spending time with Oli alone.” James said coming into my room once everyone had left.

“Can’t you knock before you barge into my room?” I asked angrily and closed the book I was reading. I glared at him, not liking where he was going with this.

“I’m being serious Isabel, don’t avoid what I’m saying. Oli is typically a nice guy, but not so much with girls he could potentially be with. I really don’t like you being alone with him. He might try some funny shit.” He repeated, ignoring what I had said.

“Are you saying I’m slutty enough to be a potential hook up for him?” I asked. I knew that's not what he meant, we were both avoiding what the other was saying, so I couldn't help it.

“Damn it Elle. No you’re not slutty, I know that. But I also know Oli, and he has a new girl all the time; he’s been with a lot of people and last thing I want is for him to hurt you.” He ranted, “Plus he’s my friend, that’s a little weird.”

“You can’t even use that as an argument. I’ve never said anything about you and Anna. Just trust me, okay? I'm not a little girl, I can think for myself.” There I go avoiding again, plus I was completely right.

"Oh excuse me for thinking you're not mature enough. You hardly have any friends and you spend most of your time by yourself. You're not social smart, he could easily use you." He huffed and walked out of my room, slamming my door as he went.

I was mad because he could potentially be right, and he was mad because I'm both right and I'm not listening.

Him not wanting me to be with Oli just made it even more tempting. It was like him saying that was what convinced me to go for it, to just jump head first into the situation.

I was sick of being the innocent and shy girl. Not that I was really wanting to be corrupted, but a little fun in my miserable life seemed like a good idea. Plus there was no person better than Oli to make my life interesting.