Just Keep Breathing

Chapter 17

My mind raced as I gazed out of the car window, becoming dizzy as I tried to watch the white lines on the pavement as they went by. Instead of provoking a headache, I closed my eyes and leaned my forehead against the cool glass.

In the cramped car, we piled four people into the backseat that was only meant for three. I was tightly pushed into the door with Oli sitting next to me. Oli was squished in the middle with Lee, who was complaining endlessly about Matt K’s knee continuously bumping into him.

All the talking from five different people was driving me insane. I could hardly concentrate on my own thoughts let alone keep up with the three different conversations going on. Where’s my medicine when I need it?

The car hit a bump in the road, causing all four of our uncomfortable bodies to hit each other followed by complaints. Whose great idea was it to pile into one car? I’m really going to hurt them, especially since it was probably James.

Oliver’s hand was resting lightly on my knee, not attempting to move higher, and his fingers were tracing small patterns into the fabric of my jeans. I didn’t mind his touch at all, part of me even wanted more of it. Times like these were when I felt like I was contradicting myself.

Using the movement from a turn of the car as an excuse, Oli leaned into me a little more. I brought my right hand up and set it on his left which was on his knee while I continued to look out the window.

Abruptly the car stopped in front of my house and everyone was scrambling to get out of the packed car and into free space. Along with the free moving space came the sudden chills from the cold air outside. I brought my arms up and wrapped them around myself and started to follow everyone inside.

I felt a hand gently grab my upper arm and I stopped walking, letting everyone go inside first and turned around. Oli was closer than I anticipated and I had to step back a bit to fully see him.

“Ya want to go for a walk?” He asked and shuffled his feet, poking his hands into his pockets. I nodded and reached my hand out, waiting for him to take it. He grasped mine and laced our fingers together, leading the way down the grass and to the sidewalk.

We walked in silence a few blocks as I tried to ignore the fact that the cold air was getting to me. I shivered and grimaced as my skin erupted in goose bumps. Oliver stopped walking and slipped off his jacket, revealing his tattooed arms, and handed it to me.

At first I didn’t want to take it, because then he would also be cold, but he waved it in front of me and then practically forced me to put it on. It was still warm from his body heat. I liked it. The smell was nice too, a good mixture of smoke and cologne.

We didn’t start to walk again, instead I walked towards him and ran into his chest, keeping my arms straight down and resting my head against his chest. He slowly brought his arms up and around me, pulling me tighter against him.

Those indecisive thoughts began to over take my mind again. It was like I didn’t know what I wanted; good Oli who forced the way he acted, or natural Oli who was sometimes an ass but it was his real personality? The last thing I wanted was for someone to change because of me.

&&

Another party another night, the only difference was I wasn’t dragged here against my will. No, this time I was perfectly willing and had a sidekick by me. Tessa had texted me earlier, which I responded with an invitation to free booze and dancing. Who could resist?

We stood, leaning against a random wall, with red cups in our hands as we chatted away. I’ll admit it was nice having someone to talk to other than Anna and my brother’s friends. Curtis was standing with us too, if I didn’t know any better I’d say he fancied Tessa.

“Hello, lovely.” Oli cooed in my ear, gently breathing against my skin. I closed my eyes as it gave me chills before I turned to look at him. He winked and turned to Tessa in front of me and stuck out his hand, “Aye there gorgeous, I’m Oli.”

She smiled as her cheeks turned a soft pink and took his hand briefly. Oli let go and turned to me, putting his hands on my hips and gently pulling me towards him. I took a final drink out of my cup and set it on a counter before wrapping my arms around his neck and letting him walk me backwards into the living room.

People there were dancing, it was a lot like the last time Oli tried to get me to dance with him. He brought me closer, our hips now touching as he swayed with me, causing our dance to become a bit more sexual.

We hadn’t kissed since that night in my kitchen about a week ago. It was good for us I think, to not be all over each other. But that didn’t stop Oli from pulling me even closer and attaching his lips to my neck, kissing and nipping away at my skin.

The feeling sent the good kind of goose bumps across my skin and I tangled my hands in his hair, tilting my neck to the side. With our closeness you could hardly tell what was going on, it just looked like we were hugging close and he had his head near my neck, but really this was all driving me insane; in an amazing way.

Along with all the little kisses he would randomly whisper in my air, both cute things that I wanted to hear, and random things that I didn’t think mattered much. Either way he was with me, not some other girl, and I loved every moment.

Still dancing together provocatively, Oli pulled away and pecked my cheek before stepping back away from me. I desperately wanted to pull him back to me but instead he grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the kitchen.

“Oli!” Lee yelled, holding up his drink like a type of wave. He walked over to a tall bottle of Bacardi and started drunkenly filling up another glass and handed it to Oli and began to fill another for me. I took the cup and started to sip it as the two boys downed it quickly.

Oliver nodded at Lee who poured a bottle of some other alcohol into his now empty cup. He had drank much more than me but still managed to seem sober-ish. I on the other hand was starting to fill the effects after my two and half cups of unknown alcohol.

“Ya want another, hon?” Oli whispered in my ear as he came up behind me, wrapping one arm around my waist while the other carried his drink. Not having to think about it, I nodded lightly and let Matt N pour a mixture of vodka and cranberry into my cup.

Drinking half of it quickly, I didn’t have time to protest before Matt poured the remainder of the vodka and cranberry mix into my cup, refilling it to the top. I smiled at him and began to sip it again.

Slowly I spun around to face Oli and brought my hand up to play with the collar of his shirt lightly, tracing the fabric around his neck. He smiled down at me and pecked my cheek, letting me carelessly mess with his shirt.

Eventually, I grabbed the lining of his collar and tugged at it, forcing him to lean down near me as I stole a quick kiss. I still had on of my hands gripping his collar and I kept him close, just staring at him. One quick kiss was enough to make me want more, of course that could just be the alcohol speaking.

We continued staring at each other, a smirk playing at his lips, as I let go of his shirt before latching on to his hand. I led him back through the living room and out the front door. The front of my house was empty of people, which I liked, and it was nearly pitch dark tonight. Clouds blocked any form of moonlight.

I collapsed on the grass, careful not to spill my drink, and brought Oli down with me before turning on my side to look at him. He mimicked me and turned on his side also, staring at me. I tried to read past his brown eyes, but with my current state of intoxicated I was just staring.

“You drive me crazy.” I told him quietly, focusing hard to get the words in the right order. He smiled at me, more like a cute smirk, and reached out to brush my hair away from my forehead.

“Good. That’s exactly what I was aimin’ for.” He replied with that smirk still on his lips. His voice was slightly over confident but I didn’t mind. He leaned in a bit, our lips almost touching as he touched. “So, ‘ow exactly do I drive ya crazy?”

“This,” I replied, talking about the position we were currently in. My voice still in a soft, whispered tone. “You’re so close and all I want is for you to kiss me.”

He didn’t kiss me though, not right away. He continued to drive me insane as he rolled to hover over me. I wanted to convince myself to reach up and make me kiss him, but letting him play his little tease game would make the kiss just that much better.

Groaning, half drunk, I was becoming frustrated with him just staring at me and not doing anything. This made his smirk turn into a full grin. He’d won and he knew it. His eyes darted between mine and my lips, as if wondering if he should kiss me or not.

I started to turn my head away, looking for my cup that I set on the grass and began to reach for it. Cool fingers grazed my face and tilted my head back to where it had been. Oli smiled and leaned down, pushing his lips against mine. Fuck, finally.