Just Keep Breathing

It now had been five days since I had seen Oli. Instead of meeting up with him yesterday to talk to him about the beach party, I just texted him and hoped he would show up. So now, Tessa was my ride to the beach where we would meet Curtis, and hopefully Oliver too.

It took us about forty-five minutes to drive from where we lived to the beach. By then, the sun was about to set and the sky looked like it would be a very dark night. As we pulled into a parking lot by the beach, I stared out the window, watching as nearly fifty people stood around in the sand.

I’m guessing it’s private property since we were near a bunch of beach house, and this must count as a backyard type place. After a moment of us sitting, I got out and walked around the back of the car, heading to the driver’s side next to Tessa.

“Ready?” She asked me. I knew she wasn’t though, her eyes kept scanning the parking lot, most likely for Curtis’s car.

As she was about to turn to me and frown, his car entered the lot quickly and turned sharply into the empty space next to her car. Curtis stepped out first, his tall body appearing over his car and a smile on his face. He waved and walked around to Tessa.

The passenger side opened and I released a sigh of relief as a tattooed arm pushed the door open. His face was, for the most part, blank as he slammed the door and walked over to me. Cautiously, I looked at him in wonder.

“You decided to come.” I said, stating the obvious in a quiet voice. He smiled, though his face still held and emotionless gaze, and opened his arms for me to hug him.

I walked into his embrace and linked my arms around his neck, leaning up to peck his cheek. I saw the edge of his mouth form into another smile but I didn’t get why he seemed to be so out of it. This was not typical Oli behavior.

“O’course I did.” He replied, picking me up lightly and twirling me around for a moment. “I ‘aven’t seen ya in what, a week?”

Once my feet were back on the ground I grabbed his hand and followed Curtis and Tessa towards the sand. We looked around as the sun started to set. People everywhere had bottles or red cups in their hands and were either eating, drinking, making out and/or having sex. Oh so lovely.

Oli tugged me to the left as Tessa turned that way, heading to an over sized ice chest. Oli grabbed a beer out, and started to grab another, looking at me. “Want one?”

Nodding and taking the beer, I let Oli pop the top off before taking a sip. I wasn’t a huge fan of beer but I was craving any type of alcohol. Before I realized, Tessa and Curtis were gone, probably to join the other couples dancing in the crowd.

When I looked back to Oliver he was also looking at me as if trying to read my mind. I stood up on my tippy-toes and pecked his lips quickly, feeling him smile. He was being cute and shy today, it was different but I loved it.

Leaning down into the ice chest, I grabbed another beer for Oli and I and leaned up towards his ear so he could hear me, “Let’s go for a walk.”

He nodded took one of the beers in his left hand, and my hand in his right. Slipping off my shoes, I held them in the same hand as my beer and let my feet sink into the cool stand with each step. Oli did the same and our hands staid tangled as we walked, slowly heading closer to the damp sand closest to the water.

Oli stopped walking and turned his back to me, gazing over his shoulder and smiling. “Ya want a piggy-back ride?”

I grinned and hopped up onto his back, wrapping my arms around his shoulders. He looped his arms around my legs and supported my weight as he began to walk into the shallowest part of the sea water. My head dropped down next to his and rested on his shoulder as I kissed the skin of his neck on one of his tattoos.

We talked aimlessly for a while, drinking our beer and continuing to walk further away from the party. Now, through the dark night, we could only see the small bonfire they made and the people that stood closest to it.

By now I was completely comfortable with my spot on Oliver’s back. I could effortlessly kiss around his neck, watching as he for once got the goose bumps. He turned his head to me and we were now sharing small pecks instead of me trying to leave a hickey where his already dark tattoo was.

Oli walked away from the water and towards a small bank of sand. He let me off his back gently and turned to face me, kissing me once he was directed towards me. I giggled into the kiss as we fell backwards into the sand, sinking in slightly.

“I missed you, Oli.” I told him, blushing slightly at my feelings for him. No matter how physically affectionate we were, I was still scared to admit the small things like missing him.

He silenced my thoughts as he kissed my cheek cutely, moving to my jaw line and kissing along it before he breathed against my ear, “I missed ya too, Elle.”

My heart, against my own will, skipped and thudded at his words. He noticed and pressed his body closer to mine, probably more as an excuse, again kissing around every place but my lips and whispered in my ear. “I feel your heart. It’s beatin’ fast, I think it’s cute.”

Again I blushed, wishing I couldn’t hear and feel my own heart so I could try to hear and feel his. He was distracting me too much now to pay attention. Still not kissing my lips, he nibbled down my neck -past where my hickey used to be- and to my collar bone. My neck, chest, and arms broke out in goose bumps as he gingerly kissed all the exposed parts of my neck and chest.

All this kissing reminded me of the conversation I had with Tessa that made me think about my lack of substance talking with Oli. I think Oli could read my mind because before I had time to mention something about it, his lips detached from my neck and smashed down onto my lips, quickly turning it to a heated make-out.

One of his hands traveled down my side, passing over my chest lightly, if you get my drift, and to my waist. He hooked a finger through my belt loop and tugged at it innocently while his other hand brushed over my face gingerly.

Now I rolled so I was over him, straddling his waist. His hand that had been hooked on my belt moved from there and crept closer down my backside, as if waiting for my protest. When I didn’t complain, is hand slid onto my butt and pulled me closer to him.

Our kiss was hot, like the night before my parents called the cops, and I was a little nervous where it might lead us.

In junior high when I first learned the actual basics of sex, I planned out how my first time would be and was set on achieving that one day. Of course it was very cliché, it would include a fancy room with candles and rose petals with the most perfect prince charming ever.

The idea of it in my mind didn’t include being outdoors, in the sand, or with fifty people near by. With this as a reason in the back of my hand, it gave me the motive I needed to roll away from him as his hand started to slip past my waist band.

Oli turned on his side quickly and looked at me, confusion and apology written all over his face. My heart was still pounding dramatically and my skin wanted to touch his again, but I couldn’t make myself. I talked to him quietly, almost pathetically. “I’m sorry Oliver. I just can’t; not here, not now.”

Oli looked at me and shook his head, creeping closer to me and kissing my cheek lightly. “Nah, don’t be sorry. Please don’t say sorry. If anythin’ I should apologize, I didn’t mean to move so quick. I mean damn, I just can’t help it when I’m with ya.”

He sounded, over all, pretty sincere with his words but I knew deep down guys always told you what you wanted to hear. Good news, if you could call it good news, was that no matter if he meant it or not, I believed him.

Reaching out, I ran my finger down his jaw line and pulled him close to me again. I knew it was like playing with fire, but since when is that not tempting?