Just Keep Breathing

The night my dad came home everyone was acting perfect. My mom was suddenly acting like no fight had ever happened. I hated how artificial we could be. My mom was cooking a huge dinner filled with all the random things he liked. It was like every time he came home, she felt the need to have to reprove herself or something.

The dinner was awkward, small talk about his trip and the business. It was always like this at first. We hardly got to see my dad, he was always flying from one side of the planet to the other for work.

We were probably the most functional dysfunctional family you could find.

“I think I’m going to head out, maybe chill with some friends.” James said breaking the weird silence. He stood up and washed his plate off in the sink.

Without thinking I piped up, “Uh, yeah and I’m going with him.”

James looked at me oddly as I rinsed my plate off too and grabbed my jacket, rushing with him out the door.

“So you’re actually coming on your own free will?” He asked starting up his car.

“You can’t expect me to stick around with them acting like strangers. I was suffocating from the tension.” I said, shaking my head and making a face.

His car slowed to a stop in front of a house I’d never seen before and he got out. I followed his actions and walked a few feet behind him as he approached the door, knocked twice, and let himself in.

The house was kind of small, but cozy. The inside was cluttered. Not exactly the dirty type of cluttered, but nothing was organized and things were thrown places. Looking around I could tell one or two guys lived here.

As I turned and looked around, I heard a door open and start to close.

“Aye James! You made it.”

I turned and got quite the sight. Oli stood there with no shirt, a toothbrush half in his mouth, and a completely priceless expression on his face. I didn’t mind the view.

“And Elle too…” He said, obviously embarrassed. “Hey. Uhm, I’ll be right back.”

He smiled awkwardly and walked back into the door he just came out of. James turned and looked at me. The weird looks just kept coming.

Oli reappeared a moment later. Now, sadly, he had a shirt on. I mean… it’s not like I thought he was hot or anything. No, wasn’t that, his tattoos were just interesting. Damn, who was I kidding?

“So who all is going to be here?” I asked.

“Well Curtis and Lee, since they also live here.” James said, and then looked at Oli to see if there were more.

Oli shrugged, “I don’t think any one else is comin’ over. ‘Ave a seat guys.”

There were two couches squished next to each other in the small living room. I sat on the smaller of the two and sat awkwardly as Oli and James wondered off into the kitchen. Curtis and Lee waltzed into the room and smiled at me before crashing down on the larger couch.

James and Oli came back into the room, bowls of food in their hands. Oli set a bowl of chips on the coffee table in front of me and flopped down on the right side of the same couch I was sitting on. He grinned at me and leaned back, propping his feet up as Curtis turned out the light and the movie started.

&&

Thirty minutes into the movie, which happened to be a stupid guy comedy, movement of Oli’s hand caught my attention. His hand slipped off his lap landing not too far from mine now.

He was looking straight ahead at the movie, at least he was every time I tried to sneak a glance. Maybe I was imagining things.

I leaned back into the couch a bit, getting more comfortable. It was more of a reason to scoot a tiny bit closer. His fingers moved a bit, only centimeters away from mine now.

I really shouldn’t be wanting his hand to touch mine. He was a player and even though not lately, he was a bit of a jerk. Maybe my lack of sleep must be effecting my feelings too.

I felt childish again, like a girl with a small crush who would rather just think a boy had cooties. I felt even more like a girl when his fingers finally touched mine.

Neither of us looked at each other as we cautiously inched our hands closer after the first touch. He moved his left hand to brush over the top of my right hand. He trailed his fingers over the back of my hand lightly and then down to my fingers before flipping my hand over.

He kept the same gentle touch, though his hands were rough, and he moved his fingers over my skin before resting his palm against mine, lacing our fingers together. My heart thumped in my chest.

We still hadn’t looked at each other but the awkwardness wasn’t there anymore, at least not for me.

Oli inched slowly closer to me and our shoulders were now lightly touching. This made my heart pound faster, because I’ll be honest, last time I had any sort of relationship was nearly two years ago. Yeah, yeah, I’m lame.

We couldn’t really move any closer than we were. Oli probably had the same thoughts as me; having James around while attempting to cuddle probably wasn’t the best idea, especially when you considered the thought that Oli was his friend and I was his younger sister.

I finally glanced down, looking at Oli’s tattooed hands intertwined with mine. I slowly looked from our hands up to his relaxed face.

A small smile was on his face, but just barely. His thumb rubbed mine as he stole a look in my direction and locked eyes with mine.

I felt my face burn and my stomach started to churn. I hadn’t noticed any of my nerves until now, and again, they were the good kind of butterflies.

I tried to focus on the movie but my head felt like some weird bug was twitting around in my brain. I was feeling happy, weird, unsure, and all these different things all at once; it was a total rush of thoughts.