The Sweetest Ecstasy, The Perfect Sin.

So Christmas came and past, and our boys became antsy, all the girls could tell, they were just itching to get back to writing new material. Seeing this, we weren’t surprised when they all began commuting into New York to record new stuff here and there. Jamia had tagged along to some of Frankie’s sessions and convinced me to do the same. It was around January, and it was snowing, but everyone had this aura around them, and you could feel something good was brewing. No one, however, informed me that Gerard was also scheduled to be there. Maybe it was me being stupid, but I just never thought we’d be meeting so casually. It wouldn’t bother me, but I was afraid it would bother him.

Later in the studio, Ray’s phone rang, and he answered it. A funny little fact about Ray, is that he always picks up his phone.

“Hello?... Oh, hey bro... Yeah, the gang’s all here. When you stopping by?.... Alright, see you then. Oh, and don’t miss your stop this time, just pretend the comic book store’s not there, okay?” Ray jokingly warned to someone on the phone.

I wasn’t really paying attention, Jamia and I were talking about how Frankie got this weird face whenever he played the riffs his dad taught him.

“So, Way’s stopping by today? First time since we’ve been here.” Frank said, sarcasm seeping from his lips.

“What are you complaining about over there?” Jamia asked, the both of us laughing at him.

“Oh, just that the infamous Mr. Gerard Way is going to grace us with his presence today.” Frankie announced looking at Ray and Mikey with an inside-joke-smile, “Oh, shit I totally forgot you’re here...” He told me.

“Thanks. I know Jamia and I blend together because we borrow each others clothes, but psssh... Nah, I’m not worried,” I looked around the room, “I shouldn’t be should I?”

“No, of course not.” Ray said, somewhat assuringly, looking down and fiddling his guitar.

I couldn’t help but get a funny feeling in my stomach. To add humor to my predicament I looked at Mikey and widened eyes at him, he returned the expression and bit his nails in jest.

“That is, if he doesn’t get into some shit with some New York City teenager and get his ass shot.” Mikey said.

“What is that all about?” I asked.

“He’s riding the train up here, and everyone gives him shit, because they’ve seen him on ‘TV’.” Mikey told me, making quotes with his fingers.

“What? I thought he was the king of blending into the background. He sure as hell did after we well, you know...” I said, informally. When I looked around the room, everyone was giving each other awkward looks, “Don’t worry, guys. We’re adults here, I can handle it. He can handle me, though, right?”

The guys just nodded their heads with little comment.

“What are your thoughts on the subject, Bob-o-san?” Frank asked Bob, who was in a sound booth and couldn’t hear shit, Bob just banged away on his drums.

I turned to Jamia and nodded my head, in a ‘right?’ kind of way, asking for her opinion.

“Yeah, yeah. He’s a grown man.”

“Yeah, Frank’s a grown man, too. What’s his excuse?” Mikey asked, breaking the heavy mood.

“You know what, Mikey? I knew I never liked you...” Frank good-naturedly threatened getting up holding and empty water bottle, set to launch it at Mikey’s head. Mikey grabbed Frank’s scarf and began to “whip” Frank, seemingly in slow motion because the scarf was so heavy.

“No! Don’t hit Mikey. He just states the obvious sometimes.” I defended Mikey while blocking him from Frank.

“Ah-ha! Another traitor. They’re ganging up on me, baby! What should I do?!” Frank asked Jamia who got up and just hid behind Frank, “Don’t worry, J. I’ve always believed a best offense was a pretty girl... STANDING BEHIND ME!?” Frank turned around to face Jamia, “What are you doing?” He asked with a smile and a shrug.

She shrugged back and a second later the scarf landed on Frank’s head, covering his face. I ran up to him and grabbed the water bottle from him and proceeded to throw it at his head from a safe distance across the room.

“Okay? WHO did that?!”

“Yeah, Mikey you’re so immature!” I lied, but everyone knew it.

Everyone was in stitches, laughing. Ray and I were,basically, on the floor with tears when Gerard walked in.

“Jesus! Didn’t we agree not to have any fun until I got here? Who’s respon-” Gerard greeted everyone.

Just then, I stood up and helped Ray up from the ground behind a desk, blocking us on the floor from Gerard. The sight of me stopped him short. The sight of the woman Gerard was with stopped me short. I smiled at them wiping tears from my face. He shot his glance quickly to the floor, then back up at me.

“So, you’re the one causing all the trouble...” He awkwardly laughed out, dropping Olivia’s hand, who was standing next to him.

GERARD’s POV

‘She always was causing all sorts of trouble,’ I thought. ‘I guess it’s good to see she hasn’t changed much. Or is it?

MY POV

I shrugged my shoulders, “You know... me,” I felt extremely awkward saying that, “Hi, Olivia.”

I turned back to Frank and gave him angry ‘Why-haven’t-you-told-me-anything-about-this?-meaning-Olivia,’ eyes. He just shrugged his shoulders. I regained my seat next to Jamia on a counter.

GERARD’s POV

I couldn’t imagine a worse time to run into her.

She thought she could just waltz on to my territory, hang out with my band, unannounced. Well she can’t. It can’t happen.

Thinking of her breaks my heart and seeing her is like an out of body experience, because it just hurts so fucking much.

Livia had just called me and I thought being with her again would help me put things in perspective, prove I had done the right thing by not going back to her.

I was wrong.

All Livia did was complicate things. The best thing about her was that she made me never want to be in a relationship ever again.

While my career had only gone up, skyrocketed really, my personal life had spiraled down into the dark, black abyss it presently resides in. To put it simply, it sucked, and I sucked to be around. Not to say that I’m angry about my band’s success, because I’m not, I’m proud. But, I don’t feel like I should have to sacrifice love for it. I do want the love of a person, special just to me. I need the love of a person.

A woman.

Her.

It’s not supposed to be me against the world.



MY POV

“Wow! Look at the time! It’s already half past one and I told Sid I’d be back with her man by two. We better hit the road, Mikes.” I said looking down at the invisible watch on my wrist.

“Yeah, she’s right. See ya.” Mikey backed me up.

We exited the room and headed towards the elevator.

“Hey, Mikey, you forgot your scarf.” Gerard called from down the hall.

“Oh, shit. I’ll be right back.” Mikey told me.

“ ’Kay.” I replied.

I saw Gerard give Mikey a strange look as he entered again. Mikey disappeared for a moment, but was soon running down the hall.

“Sorry.” Mikey said, slipping into the elevator.

“It’s fine.” I assured him.

I could feel Mikey giving me sideways glances.

“What is it?” I asked, looking straight ahead with a smirk.

“Gerard...” He started.

I rolled my eyes, “Christ, here we go.... You can tell him I’ll never come again, jeez.”

“No it’s not that, actually. He gave me a note for you.”

“He’s still with his games, huh? Well, read it, what does it say?”

“I’m not gonna read it.”

“I give you permission.” We stepped out of the elevator, through the lobby, and out in to the icy wind.

“No way. Take it.” He shoved the paper into my hand.

“Gosh, déjà vu...”

“Ha, yeah.” He chuckled in remembrance.

I unfolded the paper and there was number scribbled on it, “Is this his number?” I asked Mikey showing him the paper.

“Um...,” He scanned it, “Nope. I don’t know what that is.”

“Shit, I didn’t bring my phone with me. Do you have yours?”

He shrugged his shoulders, “Sorry.”

He was probably lying, since him and his SideKick were pretty inseparable these days, but I was too tired to bother, “I’ll just have to wait until I get home.”

The two of us had made it on to the subway and took a seat next to a guy sleeping, he looked like an attorney or something. I hated the subway and just the whole public transportation system in general.

I yawned and stretched my arms over my head, “Oh, Mikey, what am I gonna do about your brother?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know what he wants. He hasn’t spoken about you in, like, forever.”

“Thaa-a-anks, Mikes.” I said with a quick laugh.

“Sorry, don’t take offense or anything. It’s just... he’s been no fun lately.”

“Well, grumpy old men usually aren’t much fun. I think the road has just made you boys grow up a bit too fast, and he’ll grow into his grumpy-old-man-ness.”

“I think that all the alcohol and booze hasn’t worked out of his system yet.”

“That, too.”

He laughed and reached to adjust his glasses, but realized he doesn’t wear them anymore.

“Ah! I keep doing that! It’s so weird!”

“Haha, it’s funny!”

We went through a tunnel and it got dark and quiet.

“Hey, Kat?” He looked down and then to me, in a very serious manner, “Do you think I’m a grumpy old man?”

“Oh, Mikey, don’t do that! I thought you had something important to say!”

“Itis important! I don’t want to be a grumpy old man!”

“Don’t worry, you’re not! ...You, know? I don’t think I can imagine you as an old man.”

“But you can with Gerard?”

“Yeah... When you think you’re going to be with someone forever, you think about things like that...”

“Oh. Right.”

I took a deep breath, “I really, kinda, miss him. Ya know?”



Mikey looked at me with a pained look on his face.

“I’m sorry, Mikes, that was weird. I don’t even know why I said it.” I apologized.

“No, no that’s not it... It’s just, that’s what Gerard said... just right now, when he gave me the note. ‘I really, kinda, miss her...’.”

My mouth was agape and I was going to say something, but I forgot what it was.

The rest of the ride was mostly silent, but not awkward. Both of us had moved so far past being awkward around each other. We were family, comrades.

I got off at my stop, one before Mikey’s, and gave him a kiss on the cheek biding him adieu.

‘What am I gonna do with you Mr. Gerard Way?’ I thought, staring at the number.