The Sweetest Ecstasy, The Perfect Sin.

I’m going to be Mrs. Gerard Way.

I was going to have a husband.

A husband.

And he was going to have a wife.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I stood up and helped Gerard from the ground where I had been pinning him down. Looking around, everyone was completely taken aback and dumbfounded. Frank was standing onstage with his hands on the top of his head, mouth hanging open. Ray was smiling and Mikey was looking on with a sweet, confused face. Bob had a slight smile on too while looking over to Matt who looked like he felt ‘mission accomplished’.

“Well, I think that’s good for today’s practice.” Frank stated casually.

“I think it’s the best practice we’ve ever had.” Gerard quietly said to me, taking my hand.

“Well, Jesus, what do we do now?” I asked the company, winded.

“We fucking celebrate. That’s what we do!” Mikey exclaimed, jumping off stage as well.

With that, Gerard and I were approachable again and everyone came up to us. Jamia pulled me into a hug which soon turned into a big girl group hug where we all started jumping together. Mikey gave his big brother and congratulatory embrace.

“It’s about damn time. I mean, I’m even engaged!” Mikey teased.

“Sorry, Mikes, you always were the more mature one...” Gerard playfully apologized, but then he looked over to me in the huddle of friends and grabbed my attention, “Where should we go?”

“I have no idea where we are.” I replied.

“Oh, right....” He sauntered over to me, “Well, why don’t we just... “

“Go back to the hotel?” I suggested.

“Yeah.” He responded.

So we did.

We managed to fit about twenty five people into the room and just ordered a bunch of room service. It was perfect, and I couldn’t think of a better engagement party.

Lots of fun and some tears of joy later, Gerard and I were alone again, sitting on the, appropriately titled, loveseat.

“My God, I really never thought I’d get married.” I sighed, looking down at the ring I’d wear for the rest of my life.

“Really?” He asked, “I always thought I’d be too late every time I came back. You always had a boyfriend whenever I was around.”

“Yeah, ‘cuz it’s hard to be in an all male world, like music, and not get a boyfriend.”

“And let’s face it, you’re the best lookin’ girl in all of Jersey, too. And you like sleazy, self conscious, arrogant guys like me? You’re too perfect.”

“Shut up, babe.” I laughed at him and jumped into his lap.

I settled into the crook of his neck, laying across him. He turned on the TV and started to channel surf as I became drowsy. I lazily kissed his neck and rubbed his sides and we talked nonchalantly. He came across some plastic surgery show, which got him talking about his injuries.

“Those are pretty bad,” I commented on some of his painful stories, “Which was the worst?”

“Ummm, the worst one...” He thought and tapped his mouth with his fingers, “Oh, okay I got it. Do you remember when we had those shows in Canada?” He asked.

“Don’t you mean Ca-NAH-da?”

“Right, Ca-NAH-da.”

“Uh, sure, I remember.” I didn’t, but oh well.

“Well, one night, I think we were in Montreal, Frank started swinging his mic and it hit me, right in the mouth.”

“On purpose?” I wondered.

“Yeah, ON PURPOSE,” He joked, “No, not on purpose, but he did, right, and I was spitting out blood for the last song.”

I twisted my face in the gross thought and he just laughed at me.

“And you know that piece of skin that you have that attaches your upper lip to your gums?”

I stuck my tongue up there to find it, “Yeah.”

”I don’t have that anymore.”

“Lie.”

“I swear to God.”

I sat up, fascinated and straddled him. I put my hands on either side of his face and titled it back. Then I lifted his lip up. Sure enough, nothing was there.

“Weird, baby.” I commented, scanning his mouth, “You have really little teeth. Have I ever told you that?”

“I think so...” He mumbled, my hands still fishing around his mouth.

I ended the dental examination and giggled, laying back down.

“Wait a minute... what are we doing?” He suddenly speculated, “Shouldn’t we be in bed?”

I gasped, “You’re right! We better hurry!”

“Yeah!” He agreed before scooping me up and carrying me over to the huge California king sized bed.

We were laying in bed the next morning, sharing a cigarette.

“I had this dream last night-”

“Pft,” He choked out, “You slept last night?!”

“Shut yourself,” I snapped my hand at him, “So anyways, I used to have this reoccurring dream all the time, but I haven’t had it for a long time. And I had it again last night.”

“What was it?”

“It’s you and me, and you’re leaving, again, and you’re singing goodbye to me. And I’m crying, and it’s sad, and stuff.”

“You’re crying? What am I singing?”

“ ‘Leavin’ On A Jet Plane.’”

“Is that all that happened?”

I thought about telling him about the rest, “At the end... you propose. Sort of.”

“Oh. ‘Cuz I’m leavin’ on a jet plane,’ ” He sang.

“Yeah, that one.”

He kissed my neck, “ ‘Don’t know when I’ll be back again. Oh, babe, I hate to go...’ ”

I looked up to the ceiling, enjoying listening to him sing to me again.

“ ‘So many times I’ve let you down, so many times I’ve played around, i tell you now, they don’t mean a thing...’”

I welled up, it was like déjà vu that had never actually happened.

“ ‘Every place I go, I’ll think of you, every song I sing, I’ll sing for you... um, something, something, tell me that you’ll wait for me.’ ” He continued, smiling and leaving roaming on my skin.

I sniffled and he looked up to face me.

“Oh, Kat, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean-”

“No, it’s okay. I’m happy. Really, really, happy. It’s probably unhealthy. I promise.”

“Alright.”

“But, kisses make the tears go away.”

“Of course.” He replied.

That day they had a gig, and the day after that, and so on for a week and a half. After that the band was scheduled to go back to the U.S. But not to Jersey, to California. My turf.

“Cool,” I said, when Gerard told me about it, “I fucking love L.A. so much.”

A bunch of us were in a van, riding over to a press conference.

“Yeah, me too. We’re going in to record some of the new stuff. It should be.. interesting.” He laughed.

“I can introduce you to all my old, embarrassing friends. Jamia knows.” I looked up to her and she gestured like she knew exactly what I was talking about.

“They can’t be any worse than mine.” Gerard assured.

“True.” Mikey added.

We laughed then I cupped my hand to Gerard’s ear and whispered, “I can buy a ring for you there.”

He nodded shyly and grabbed my hand then pulling me out of the van.

Immediately after they were done with the press, all of us were off to the airport. I was in a random gift shop buying some magazines when Gerard rejoined me and put his hands on my waist from behind.

“Watcha gettin’?”

“Meh, nothing much.” I distractedly answered.

“You know, when we get to L.A., I’m gonna get some free time. Where do you want to go?”

“Free time, huh? What like hours?”

“More like days.”

“Oh... I love San Francisco. Have you ever been there?”

“Yeah... uh, bad memories...” He shuddered.

“What?! It’s the most awesome place ever!”

“Awesome as in it’s the only place that’s scared the shit out of me.”

I gave him a confused look.

“We were staying in The Tenderloin-”

My face sparked in recognition.

“So you know it well? Anyway, we’re about to head to the show, I’ve got my stage costume on, makeup, I had my red hair at the time, and this crazy old man across the street starts yelling at us.”

I moved towards the check out counter, him following behind and relating the story into my ear, hands still lingering through the loops of my jeans.

“More like me, but he’s going off. ‘You better stay on that side of the street you queer motherfucker! I’ll knock that red hair off your damn head! I’ll knock you out!’”

I started cracking up, but trying not to make a scene in the quiet store.

“You lie!” I accused.

“Hey, I kid you not. I swear on the hair.” He promised.

“I can’t argue with that.” I conceded.

Gerard bought my magazines, despite my disapproval, and we walked back to the rest of the group.

“So San Francisco, huh?” Gerard asked again after we got to our seats on the plane.

“Yeah. I really love it there. And I haven’t been there in forever. If it sucks, we never have to go back, okay?” I whined.

“Okay.” He mocked my tone.