Playing Russian Roulette.

It's dead.
One last chance to reverse this curse,
You stole my heart but I had it first.
And now I see you've got something to prove,
And nothing to lose, so let me tell you the truth.

Max wants to know if you want to go out on a date with him.

Dating, the one most pointless thing on the face of the planet. As much as I loved and adored Max, I had an understandable apprehension toward first dates… and dates in particular. This certain issue had nothing to do with Ronnie. The only major plus about it.

Instead, it was because of my first date with someone in my old theater class at school, at the ripe old age of seventeen. Needless to say, the entire date, from the start when my father all but threatened to throw him off the roof of my building to when he took me to a child’s movie and then dropped his cup of soda down the front of my white shirt. Purposely, no less!

As it turned out, he had a bet with his friends that he could get the sexiest picture of me possible without actually getting me naked, and soaking me was part of that ploy. I threw popcorn in his face and called Stefan to come pick me up. After I walked out of the mall, sticky and annoyed, I vowed never to go out on another crappy date, and so far I kept such a promise.

I didn’t even date Ronnie when I moved to Las Vegas. I met him and then moved in with his. We always had a mutual understanding of no dating, but we were still together.

How that happened to my advantage, I would never know.

That was my only reason for the moment of hesitation toward Devin’s question. I did not know what to say, nor did I have a glimmer of what would be a good answer. For once in my life, I was drawing a blank when it came to Max Green.

Devin and Stefan staring expectantly at me wasn’t helping, especially with the knowledge of Max on the other line of Devin’s cell phone. Say something, say something!

“O--kay.” I couldn’t say no, not to Max after we were doing well. How stupid would I be? An ignorant dating aversion would in no way convince me to deny an afternoon alone with Max… But, damn, would this be awkward.

Stefan took four giant steps backward and stifled several long laughs. Devin cast a glance over his shoulder at him. “She said okay, Max. Okay. Bye.” He pocketed his cell phone, gesturing with one hand out to his boyfriend. “What are you doing?”

“Laughing,” came the obvious reply. “Did you see Juliet’s face? She looks nauseous, and she’s the color of paper. Are you okay, or is it because of the date with Max? You are still pretty weird about first dates.”

Exchanging a glance with Devin, I pushed passed him and sauntered off in the direction of the bus. The slap of sneakers on concrete told me they were trailing my heels, and for the whole walk, I felt Devin breathing down my neck.

I stole a look over my shoulder. He walked closest me, Stefan behind him, bogged down with all the equipment. Devin held his head low and both arms were wrapped around himself in a vice. Though his brunette locks hovered around his face, I saw he was biting his bottom lip.

He was scared. Worried, and it was evident. He knew Max’s reputation of not being so romantic and the sad fact that he never failed to be surrounded by alcohol of some sort. To a pint, it crushed my heart that he had such little faith in me, but I deserved the most miniscule glimmer of faith from my friends.

Sweeping my haphazard hair behind my shoulder, I faltered my walking and fell into step with Devin’s rhythm. I slipped an arm into the crack of his elbow and rested my cheek on his shoulder.

He lay his cheek atop mine. “Thank you,” he breathed.

No way am I drinking. Even if Max takes me to a bar, I’m just not. My fingers clutched into his arm tighter. “I won’t drink,” I whispered. “I swear on Ghost’s life I won’t, Dev. I’m not putting you through that. Alright?”

We stepped simultaneously up onto the parking lot. Devin halted, making me stop in my tracks as well. He unhooked himself from me and pushed me two steps to the left.

And he turned his sad, gigantic, shining brown eyes in my direction. His features were taut with worry. He reminded me of Kit Kat; their eyes were the same color and both knew how to get what they wanted out of me with a simple look.

A twinge racked deep within my heart. I had to keep this promise. IF I never kept another promise for the rest of my life, I had -- and would -- keep this one, no matter what… or who.

He stood in almost sulky silence, eyes still sad and pathetic looking.

Stefan shuffled up beside us, stopping just below the parking lot on the grass, overloaded with the duffle bag on one shoulder and the camera under his arm. I felt his gaze land on my face, then switch to Devin’s.

This wasn’t good. I knew I was apprehensive about the date, but it was with Max. Max, the guy they wanted me with the whole time. Yet they were acting as if I was going out with a murderer. What was so wrong with all of this?

Not a single part of me liked it.

“Devin, say something.” I slowly wrapped my arms around myself. Suddenly, the heat of Florida left my body and a freezing film slicked over my skin. “Please, you two know I love Max and he won’t let me do anything stupid.”

Devin finally spoke. “I know you love him, and I’m Maxper’s biggest fan, but you have to admit that your progress hasn’t been wonderful since you staring dating him.”

…Since when did this happen? Hours prior I had an internal battle concerning the exact same subject, but my conclusion was that the boys made me better and helped. Devin didn’t share my enthusiasm and that hurt me more than anything else.

My gay best friend had no faith in neither my boyfriend or me.

Despite the distress in my heart, anger swept through me. “And what does that mean, Devin?” I snapped viciously. “Max had been good to me and you know it.”

“No, no, I see that he’s been great to you, but, dammit, Piper.” Great, he only calls me Piper when he’s royally pissed. “But who got you back into drinking and going to clubs and bars again? Max.”

“Lies!” I cried. “Going to the club the first time was my idea. Max had nothing to do with it.”

“He didn’t try to stop it, now did he?” Devin retorted. “He let you drink, which means he would let you do other things. Things that could get you in deeper shit, like before. I can’t go through that again.” Conspicuously, he scratched a section on the back of his forearm.

Stefan opened his mouth and made a sound as if he were about to say something, but Devin barreled on relentlessly.

“Max didn’t see you when you were on drugs, so he has no reason to be absolutely terrified with your old habits. Do you understand what I’m trying to say?”

As badly was I wanted to start screaming at him and throwing anything I could get my hands on, I knew I couldn’t. “The overwhelming annoyance and urge to attack him and yell of how he was suffocating me with his worry was almost too much.

But I fought it, because he was only caring for me and not purposely keeping me under his close supervision just to be evil. Only because he wanted the best for me. Yet, why did I suddenly hate everything about Devin that I once felt thankful for, because it saved my life.

I thought my anger issues were over and done with, too. Stress? Maybe. But I refused to believe it was because of Max and the boys. Sure, I had more fights and arguments, problems and temptation than I ever had before, during the seemingly extensive length from the day I entered Spencer’s Recovery Center to the day before Pomona.

A healing period of sorts.

And now it was over and Devin was panicking and shocked. I just couldn’t stay perfect forever; he had to know that.

Besides, didn’t I get a say in any of this mysterious scenario when random people out in public just happened to have Ecstasy and somehow Max and I ended up with it? I was never going to drink as much ever again, and Ecstasy would never be in my immediate possession.

No, not even Max could make me do that again, and that was truly saying something.

“No,” I finally answered in a much calmer tone that I desired. “No, Devin. Do you have that little faith in me that you would think I’d immediately start doing E again?”

I saw him flinch at the drug slang. I picked it up from Josh and used to say it all the time, but that stopped a while back. However, sometimes it slipped out before I could stop it.

Devin’s face fell. “ I have faith in you, Piper. But you need to understand that Max wouldn’t even know enough to make sure you ear something. He is oblivious to all the warning signs.”

“Then just tell him!” Flinging my hands into the air, I whipped around and clacked around the corner into the sea of tour buses. Many more were parked around ours than this morning when we arrived.

And, directly in front of our door stood Craig and Max, who was holding Leila in his arms. He poked at her cheek, smiling and laughing, and Leila had her arms around his neck, yelling something in her adorable, tinkling voice.

Craig leaned against the door, looking amused and happy, arms crossed and watching his daughter and friend.

I came to a stop two buses down, my left side facing the hot front grill of a large RV. Scorching air ruffled my shirt and hair and breezed over my bare legs. Why are they waiting for me in front of the bus? Great. Now I can’t even complain because Max is standing right there.

Devin tromped to my right side and took my arm in his hand with a tight grip. He wasn’t finished grilling me with useless questions. So much fun. He turned me around, frowning. “Do you really want me to tell him all the things he needs to watch for?”

No, I didn’t want to put Max through the near hours of inquiry, but I was willing to do anything to get Devin to leave me alone and for him to sleep better tonight. Either one, to get it off my conscious.

The date would never go over smoothly if Devin was calling me every five seconds on my cell phone to ask if I was eating or wondering what I was drinking.

“If you want to,” I whispered. “But give him the short list, okay?”

“What’s the short list?” Devin asked quietly.

“The bare minimum,” Stefan answered, joining us and draping his free arm over his boyfriend’s shoulder. He exchanged an apologetic smile with me, then a look of warning to Devin. “Tell him he needs to watch her eat, don’t let her drink--”

Devin was hearing none of it. He waved his hand around in Stefan’s face and fled, calling, “Max, Max, Max, I need to talk to you!”

The three occupants of our bus space turned their attention to us. Craig spotted Devin dashing full speed toward Max and snatched Leila from his arms, taking three wide steps to the right. Devin launched himself at Max, grabbing his forearm, and pulling him slightly away.

Max tossed a look at me as he let himself be dragged across the blacktop. I shrugged, my heart going out to him. Who knew how long Devin would actually take to list my symptoms, ailments, and Max would probably run away once he understood all the nasty stuff in my reality.

I only told Max of the bare minimum, only the tiniest details he needed to know, and only because he asked. “In place of antidepressants, he gave MDMA -- erm, Ecstasy. I took it and I actually got addicted to it, because it made everything so much better. I mean, I felt like I was in hell. You and me weren’t talking, I was alone, living in a crappy apartment because I couldn’t pay the rent for the house without Ronnie, and I lost contact with Robert and Monte.”

Once he knew he had to watch what I ate, and make sure I didn’t get too upset, and keep me away from alcoholic beverages, and any sort of pills minus my birth control -- and even then Devin checked to make sure it had the Ortho signature on it.

Any normal guy in his right mind would run as far away as possible. But, Max wasn’t a normal guy… Yes, but he was still a guy. I put too much confidence in him.

“Fuck.” Shielding my face with my hair, I left my station in front of the foreign bus and slipped passed Craig and Leila, mumbling a quick sorry. Once I opened the door, I flew up the stairs into the air-conditioned foyer amidst curious questions from the people behind me.

“Jay-Jay!” Leila. “Juliet? What’s wrong?” Craig. “Julie?” Max.

I paid them no mind and called over my shoulder that I would be back in just a moment before slamming the outside world away. Thankfully. Silence bestowed the living area all around me and, turning the corner into the main room, I collapsed against the kitchenette counter.

Damn it all!

Just when I thought things were perfect, this had to happen. A suggestion of a date, Devin’s paranoid fear of Max allowing me to get jacked on Ecstasy or getting drunk, or God-only-knew what else he was terrified of me getting into.

I had half the mind to go back outside and call it all off. No, I didn’t want to go out on a date. Then Max did not need to know of everything to watch for. I would be off the hook, Max could continue to love and date me and not end up running away, screaming for a normal, cute girl.

Which there was an abundance of at Warped, most of whom adored Escape the Fate, or found Max incredibly attractive. Only someone blind could say Max was anything less than gorgeous.

Closing my eyes, I tilted my head backward. “What the hell is wrong with me?” I breathed to the empty living room. “I get pissed at Dev for having zero faith in me and Max, and yet here I am expecting him to dump me because of my past.”

I pushed away from the counter and walked toward the hall. “The past that he is fully aware of,” I added, coming to a stop in front of the dark bathroom. I flipped on the light, and the rest of the room flare to life.

Two toothbrushes littered the counter, the shower door was agape with a towel hanging from the top, and Ghost lay sprawled on the gray, plush rug beneath the opened door. His long, furry legs went over the edge and scraped against the white tiles.

Lazily, he lifted his head and looked at me, one ear flopped on a strange angle.

“Hey, Ghost,” I whispered, leaning my shoulder against the doorframe. “Do you think Mommy is being stupid about this? Max is amazing; he won’t care about my… awful… disgusting past.” Ecstasy, drinking, personality changes, insomnia, anorexia-like eating issues.

Ghost whimpered, but said nothing else and dropped his head to its original spot on the rug. Even my dog, my baby, had no answer.

Annoyance flooded the boundaries of my skull. I turned the light off in the bathroom once more and backed up into the hall. I was so disgusting! And I didn’t know whether to trust in Max or suspect him of being normal.

As I walked back into the living room, the door flung open. I froze in mid-stride, eyes focused over the counter at the daylight streaming into the otherwise dark space. After a moment, Craig hopped up the stairs, Leila balanced in one arm.

He spotted me and smiled. “Hey, Julie. You okay?” Reaching over, he closed the door.

I slowly trudged across the room and leaned onto the counter separating the two of us.

Leila’s arms shot out. “Jay Jay, ‘mere!”

Stretching over the barrier, I took the toddler into my arms and pulled her to my side of the bus, placing her on my hip.

Craig rested his elbows on the countertop. “Answer me.”

“I’m not okay.” I kissed the top of Leila’s head, my fingers petting her fair, blonde hair. “I’m having a few issues with Devin telling Max all my problems. What if he realizes I’m not worth all the work and… stress?”

With much apprehension, I met his gaze. He was frowning at me, eyebrows knitted together. With a painful silence surrounding him. Also with no answer. And he was one of the few people outside of Devin and Stefan I could talk to.

Where’s Bryan when I need him?

Craig stepped up into the foyer with Leila and I and circle the counter to join us. He laid a gentle on my shoulder. “You are worth anything Max will go through to be with you,” he murmured, and withdrew his hand. His dark eyes swirled with the truth of what he said.

He believed I was worth the stress. Craig did, at least, but Max was who counted…

Yet the insane pitter-patter of my heart pounding in my chest resolved absolutely nothing. Craig was a foreign species, one that made girls everywhere believe every word he said and cause cardiac arrest from miles away.

He was not the one who owned my heart. Why must he have such an effect on me? Surely it’s not just me.

At glorious last, Craig withdrew his hand from my shoulder. “Besides-” Craig’s voice broke my admirable trance. “-give Max some credit. He loves you a lot, Juliet. That’s why he even brought up the whole date thing, just to make you happy.”

“Happy? But I am happy!” Did Max think I wasn’t happy? He was wrong; I felt happier than I had in my entire life, all because of Max. There was no point for him to be trying to make my joyful.

My confusion must have been written all over my face because Craig laughed and ruffled the bangs of my hair.

“That’s not why he told me, Jay,” he sang. “He said Ronnie screwed you up majorly and you two couldn’t even have sex because of it.” He tossed his hair out of his face. “That’s why he’s taking you on this date.”

I stood in even more confused silence. Not a single part of my understood this odd plot to do whatever Max was trying to do…

“He thinks that a little romancing will help you forget about Ronnie, but I think it’s a little cheesy.”

“No, I think it’s… s-sweet, or. -- um… I have to go now. I pawned Leila off onto her father, moved around them, and trudged down the stairs and opened the door. Devin and Max stood where I left them, Max standing motionless with Devin throwing a hail of hurried words at him.

Stefan now resided closely beside them, looking as if he were attempting to get a word in edgewise, but having no success.

Devin didn’t notice my return. “--watch to make sure things don’t get into the control zone. That’s when she tends to get scary.”

Nearly tripping in my hurry, my feet met the cement and I shimmied between my best friend and my boyfriend, slipping my hand into Max’s in case I had to pull him away in a rush and cutting off the uncomfortable conversation.

Max slithered his arm around my waist and pulled me close.

I shot my gaze at Devin. “Are we done yet?” I questioned, making sure my expression displayed how pissed I was.

Devin backed off, raising his hands in the air. “I’m done.”

“Good.” I tilted my head to look up at Max. “Where are we going for our date?”

“Wherever you want to go.”

X X X X

The cold, ocean breeze swept up and over the cement bank, slithering over my bare legs as they lay outspread among the rustling grass encompassing my every angle. My hair streamed over my shoulders and splayed out among the ground, and the sun blared itself into my closed eyelids.

People were walking around me, talking and laughing. Aiden was playing on one of the stages, while Civet was on another. A girl was yelling about free merchandise at the top of her lungs, but the sound of the gentle sound of the ocean was still audible over everything.

After the day I had, something soft and soothing to calm my nerves was perfect. Fear flushed my system every time I thought of Devin and how he seemed so worried over this date, and how he told Max my ailments.

I felt thankful, however, over the fact Max and I had yet mentioned either of the issues. But, then again, we hadn’t really had the time to talk about anything. Post leaving the buses, Max told me to find somewhere to sit while he went to get water and food of some sort.

The first place I ran to was the ocean, to lie down, listen to how beautiful it was, and wonder of the events of the last few hours.

Especially the strange information Craig told me of. Max’s theory of romance curing my Ronnie sex anxiety sounded farfetched. I didn’t believe something so tiny could fix something so seemingly gigantic.

Although, if it did, it would mean our relationship would finally be perfect. Well, as perfect as it could get with two people such as ourselves. People who drank too much and did drugs more than the normal amount of times in their lives and who were generally looked down upon by most people.

As perfect and normal as our relationship could get, was a better way to put all of it… But I still did not believe being romanced would help any of it. Nothing pointed to it!

This fretfulness was beyond therapy, beyond treatment, and Max - as much as I loved and believed in him - did not have such powers to help me through anything. Addiction and hatred, he had all the power in the world to erase.

All except for this instance.

A pair of sharp, clacking heels passed by me on the sidewalk a few steps away from where I lay flay on my back, and I slowly pried my eyes open. Blue skies and fluffy, white clouds met my gaze immediately.

A random, erratic seagull flew overheard, wings swerving sideways, squawking very loudly. It struck right through my brain, and I cringed. A group of girls laughed far away; a cell phone rang; the Aiden song came to a complete, silent stop.

“I’m back, Juliet!” called a cheery, happy voice behind me. His joyful tone struck a giant hole in my sudden bad mood.

Placing my hands on the grass, I pushed upwards and wriggled myself into a comfortable sitting position, straightening my clothes as I looked up at the form of Max, two white boxes in his hands and two bottles of water balanced in his arm.

Tilting my head back, I smiled as brightly as I could muster.

He looked odd. Hair messed up and disheveled, sticking up in unfamiliar places. There appeared to be marker writings on one of his arms, and a sticker of Big Bird from Sesame Street stuck to his cheek.

I arched an eyebrow, wandering what kind of hell he had just traveled through to get food for the two of us… and I had no idea hell had permanent markers and Sesame Street. That made things slightly scary, in all honesty.

Max crouched down on the warm grass beside me and placed our food items in front of him. He crossed his legs and made a sound of relief. “That was a fucking circus,” he muttered, attempting to smooth his hair out.

I snatched up a water bottle. “What happened?”

“VersaEmerge was serving the food and attacked me when I showed up.” He peeled the sticker off his cheek, one eye closing during the action.

He flipped the round paper object around and grimaced. “I never liked Big Bird,” he said, tossing it somewhere over his shoulder. “I think he’s an addict.”

I snorted. Though I never thought of it that way, it explained a lot. I twisted the top off the water and took a quick drink, happier than I thought possible that it was freezing cold, chunks of ice floating along the top.

Max looked at me in silence for a moment. Curious about my own lack of conversation no doubt. And my guess was confirmed as he slipped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer to him. “Juliet, are you okay?”

The worried tone in his voice reminded me why I wanted to kill Devin. Now, instead of having the fun we usually did, Max would be bothering me about whether or not I was well enough to even be out on a date.

“I’m fine.” I shimmied out of his warm, protective grip and stole one of the boxes. On top of the one I grabbed, it read, “I hope you like the food! Love, Sierra.” I smiled despite of everything and popped the top of it open.

To my surprise, there was no real food within the box, only junk food and sweets. I had no idea the catering was so unhealthy. A muffin was on one side, a piece of cake, several tiny things that I couldn’t put my finger on.

Pushing the box lid further over, the second note came into view. In one of your videos, you said you liked sweets. Enjoy! P.S. Don’t tell anyone. :]

I peeked off to the side and Max’s box was an exact replica of my own. Sweets galore. I knew Max had one hell of a sweet tooth, so that was fitting.

But, mine… I liked sweets, but I didn’t feel like eating, junk food or not. The very sight of the cutely decorated cupcake stuck in the left corner of the Styrofoam box made my stomach heave. Maybe I caught something.

Yeah, right. As much as I wanted it to be something as minor as that, the coincidence of Devin saying Max needed to watch to make sure I ate only about half an hour earlier

“Anyway,” Max sighed, filling the awkward silence, “why aren’t you eating anything?” He placed a plastic fork on the open lid of my box. “You sure you’re alright, Juliet?”

“I-I’m just not hungry,” I whispered slowly. Nonetheless, I picked up the fork and stabbed a corner of cake. I stuck it in my mouth and the nauseating flavor of pineapple slipped over my tongue. Saliva immediately filled the corners of my mouth.

My stomach attempted to revolt it, sending a shockwave through my body. Throat threatening to close, I forced myself to swallow it, nearly throwing everything right back up. I raised my hand to my neck and struggled, but eventually succeeded in swallowing.

I dropped the fork back to the lid top in defeat.

“Then don’t eat.”

I looked over in surprise. Don’t eat? Just like that, don’t eat. No lecture, no guilt trip. No… anything?! To say the least, I had not expected such a response to what I said. After Devin laid it on so thick -- making it out like I could drop dead at any second for any number of things -- I thought Max would have the same overprotective attitude as Devin.

But, this… this threw me for a loop.

I choked out the beginnings of several different words, but none came out as a successful statement. I knew I sounded like an utter fool. I cared not, though. After months and months of having hawk-like stares at my food and eating habits, Max just out and says that if I wasn’t hungry, I didn’t have to eat.

A simple logic to be honest, but Devin would never say anything like that, not unless I was sick and in bed and my stomach simply refused to let me eat. Then he would try to force me to down at least one bowl of chicken noodle soup.

“We don’t have to eat if you don’t want to,” Max said, and closed the lid on his box. Reaching over, he closed mine as well, stacked the two on top of each other, and pushed them aside. He flashed a smile at me once he was finished, making my heart pitter-patter.

So, maybe Devin was right. Max wasn’t the best influence on recovery. But he did something that no one else could, or even wanted to do. He cared enough to make me happy.

“I thought Devin read you the riot act on my ‘condition’.”

“He did.” Max leaned backward onto the grass, pulling me by my shirt down with him. He wrapped his arms around me. “But I figured having one obsessively worried parent was enough. You don’t need another.”

I peered up at him, adjusting my head against his arm more comfortably. “You’re not worried about me?” I asked softly.

“Of course I am,” he breathed, tucking a piece of stray hair behind my ear. “I will be until you’re better, but I know the feeling of being watched like you’re insane when you’re going through something like this.”

His face took on a somber look that made his attractive features utterly glum. My heart wrenched violently. Looking at him, it was hard to remember he had gone through the same things I did, just with a slightly less severe drug.

He was strong, so why couldn’t I be? He won with pain pills abuse, got off with no side effects, yet I -- whom went through two types of therapy in seven months and had Devin, the eternal watcher - couldn’t get all the way clean.

There was a span of silence where neither of us spoke. The ocean lapping in waves against the manmade bank, a couple of bands playing loud songs, and people’s excited talk and laughter were all we could hear.

I reveled in the silence and the feel of Max’s warm body heat so close to mine. Though I still doubted how well it would work, this was certainly romantic and the best first date of my life, even it was only for five minutes so far.

Max broke the silence. “You were… really messed up before Warped, huh?” he whispered. “I mean, in almost five years, I’ve never seen Devin so worried and paranoid over anything involving you.”

I sighed deeply “Yeah, I was pressed messed up. The Ecstasy fucked with my system and changed me to a completely different person. I’m an anorexic, psycho bitch now, and everyone knows it. Even complete strangers like Gabrielle.”

“Everyone?” Max gave me a questioning look. “I don’t know about everyone, Juliet. I don’t think you are. Or Robert, Craig, or Bryan.” After a moment, he added, “Leila, Ghost, Stefan, or Devin.”

The latter four made me snort. “Leila is a toddler, Ghost is a dog, and Devin and Stefan are my best friends. They can’t judge character that well when it comes to me, Max.”

“What about Kit Kat?”

“What about her?”

“She still loves you, doesn’t she?”

I didn’t understand where he was going with this. “Of course she does!” I cried. “No one hates me, they’re just very cautious around me like I’ll explode at any second.”

“Not what I’m saying.” Max ran his fingers through my choppy bangs. “Kit Kat is a good judge of character. She didn’t like Ronnie. She didn’t like half of Ronnie’s friends. She--”

“--knew the second Ronnie started taking drugs. And, no, she does not hate me or try to bit me like she did to everyone else.” Max grinned. “Kit Kat is never wrong.”

“Funny,” I murmured.

“I’m serious!”

“So am I.” I smiled for real this time and leaned up, planting a kiss on his cheek. “Devin thinks everyone around me in some wa inhibits my recovery, even you and the boys. He says you guys didn’t see what I was like before, thus you can’t understand why drinking and partying is a no-no.”

I glanced out at the gently swaying ocean. Somewhere my mood had evaporated and I only felt wonderful lying curled in Max’s arms in the middle of a bustling park with Warped Tour raging behind us, various bands blaring many diverse songs.

“No, I didn’t see you when you were messed up, but I should have been there.” Max tensed underneath my arm. “One of us should have been there, but we left you when you were our best friend.”

I closed my eyes, frowning. “You shouldn’t feel guilty. And you know we weren’t reall best friends, right? You hated me… actually, you were Bipolar almost.”

Max cringed.

“You were sweet to me when no one was around us, but when Ronnie and Saskia lurked close by, I was public enemy number one. Juliet bad, evil people good.”

“Do we have to keep talking about this?” Max whined, sounding nauseous.

“Yes, because I’m still not sure you know how awful you made me feel when I loved you more than life. I wish you could understand that half of it.”

“Hey, no, no, no! We were talking about your past! Don’t drag me into it!” But he was laughing and held me tighter as he sat us up simultaneously. “We were talking about how you had your turn to worry your friends and family.”

I gasped and smacked him on the arm. “I see now! You just wanted something bad against my perfect-ness.” Something other than my Ronnie induced issues.

Dammit! Everywhere I turn it comes back to fucking haunt me.

“I’m caught.”

I glanced over at him, and Max smiled sweetly. Slowly, I leaned forward, my hands sliding onto the back of his neck, and pressed my lips to his. He buried a hand in my hair and crushed me closer to him, deepening the kiss.

Someone yelled a loud ooh! as they passed by, and I pulled away, clearing my throat. I glanced sideways at the two boxes.

“I think I’m hungry, you miracle worker. Want to go eat with Versa?”

“Sounds good.”

X X X X

The best first date of my life held through, from beginning to end. We ate together with Sierra and a few random, overexcited but not obsessive fans who Max took an immediate liking to and talked with for nearly two hours.

Highlight of that certain part was Max introducing me as his girlfriend, then making sure I was involved in every conversation, though he barely noticed when Sierra and I ventured off into our own conversation about the strange food item that may or may not have been covered in almonds.

We left when VersaEmerge was due on stage, and we walked along the tree-lined sidewalk rimming the ocean. I almost fell head first into the water and Robert came by, unbeknownst to us, and poured icy water on us while we were making out at a Monster tent.

Max chased him, stripping off his soaking wet t-shirt and running through hoards of Warped-goers… with cell phone and cameras. My shirt was soaked as well, showing traces of my bra, but I didn’t mind. It could have been worse.

But, then, the boys had to go on stage. I stood close by, watching, and we ran off afterwards. Two hours later, the sun set in a blaze of orange over the ocean. My curfew hit and I got a text from Devin saying, “I’m worried. Get home!”

And the sad ending of Max’s romantic quest to cure me came. As we walked through the shabby street lights illuminating the black top of the parking lot, I felt like crying. Why did it have to end? Everything had been so much fun and I hadn’t smiled and laughed so much in almost my entire life.

Except for the stitch in my mood at the very beginning, of course. But I blamed that particular part on my worry that the rest of the date would be awful on several levels.

It may not even get to happen again while on Warped. For the rest of the expanse of the tour, according to the schedule Rachel sent me for the remaining few weeks, I was busy with everything. Interviews, meet and greets, supporting certain things, and recording bands’ sets.

I would be busy with everything, with no time to focus on Max, our relationship, or any further amazing dates.

Max and I came to a stop in front of my bus. Bright, florescent lighting blared from the window placed above the kitchen sink; Devin was still awake, as well as Stefan whom was more than likely preparing for the drive to the next venue.

Devin, however, would be asleep by now had I been in the bus with Ghost. Of course he was going to stay awake until I returned home from my date with Max. He’d fucking stay up all night if I wasn’t home yet.

Paranoid. The only word I could think of to describe him.

Although I didn’t want to leave him, I managed to choke out, “Well, uhm… goodbye. I’ll see you… tomorrow.” If I don’t leave now, I’ll strip off my clothes and pounce on him as we stand right here, right now, for everyone to see.

That was my motivation as I attempted to turn toward the awaiting, welcoming, yet all too disappointing front door of our bus. My body, however, had different plans and refused to let me turn away from Max in his gloriousness.

“Good night.” His voice was barely above a tiny, delicate whisper. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

My heart gave a gut wrenching squeeze. “I’m busy tomorrow,” I breathed.

“So? I’ll be a second, third, fourth wheel to your job. I don’t care.”

“Thank you.” I smiled, tilting my head upward. “How are you so amazing?”

“Only to you.”

Desperation filled the air between us, and we both needed more than anything to release the pent up emotion. Max wrapped his arms around my waist and twisted, leaning his back against the bus’s aluminum siding. He crushed his lips roughly, desperately to my own.

Something within me shattered and I moved just as passionately, clutching at Max’s t-shirt and pulling us closer, eyes closing in absolute ecstasy, our lips sliding together with hunger.

I did not think, merely moved with desperation, and Max grabbed me in ways I knew should have sent me in an insane tizzy of memories, but my mind remained blank as I pushed myself closer, letting him devour my lips, living for the mere taste of him.

The moment ended too quickly thanks to the front door flinging open and the light from the inside of my three-month home spilled out onto the parking lot around us. We moved apart and glanced to the open entrance, where Devin was leaning out, staring at us with Ghost dancing around at his feet.

Max’s drew in a fake gasp. “It’s your mom.”

I laughed and shimmied out of his tight, loving grip. “Hey, Devin.”

“Hey, Juliet,” Devin muttered. “I was worried. Are you two done eating each other’s faces?”

“Someone needs to get laid,” I sang, abandoning Max and walking over to my best friend. Pushing passed Devin, I stepped up into the cool air of the bus and hopped up into the living area, where Stefan was sprawled on the couch, looking amused.

He waved two fingers at me, and I grinned back.

“Has Devin been killing himself?” I questioned, faltering only for a moment in my walk to my bunk.

“Pretty much.”

Devin slammed the front door, sighing loudly. “You could have at least sent me a text back. Or called, Jay! How on earth did I know what you were doing?”

I threw a look over my shoulder at him, saw the hint of happiness in his otherwise relieved expression, and sauntered the rest of the way into the hall and to my bunk. “Everything was fine, Devin. I was fine.”

And Max fixed me, the damn miracle worker.