Bat Country

My mind was so numb and I couldn't control my body. I wasn't sleeping but neither awake. Somewhere in between these two things; like before you wake up but when you're no longer asleep. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't open my eyes.
But I didn't even try, I didn't want to wake up. All that I remember is driving back home after talking to Brian but somehow I know that it's been a long time since that happened. Like a part of my memory was deleted. A small part though because I know that I slept for long time.

I was in the middle of nowhere, it wasn't dreams neither hallucinations. Am I dead?
I feel nothing at all, and I'm in no particular place. That might be very weird.
But on the other side, maybe it's not a bad thing. Maybe I am dead, maybe I'm never going to wake up, maybe death is when your body is dead and you're left with your thoughts forever. Somehow, I knew I'm still alive.

So where the hell am I? Why can't I wake up? What the fuck have happened after I left Brian's house? It seems like I've been this way for few days. And now I started to feel an itching in my right arm.

"Do you want something to eat? Or maybe a coffee or something?" Was that my imagination or did I just hear Zacky? No I wasn't imagining! If it was my imagination it wouldn't be that, I would imagine different things not offering food. So what is it? Is Zacky here? Where the hell on earth is here anyway?! "No, thanks"

Oh dear lord. There is no doubt; that was Val! Holly shit is Val here? My fucking god, I have to wake up now! Damn it!!!!

"Val you have to eat something! We're all very worried about you" Zacky's voice was getting louder which means he got closer. "I'm fine, really. Thanks" Val was close to me, for sure. But her voice seemed to be so quiet. I couldn't hear footsteps but I knew he was gone.

Was anyone else in the room now or was it just me and Val? Against all my effort my eyes kept ignoring my brain and wouldn't open. There was nothing I wanted to do now more then wake up. Oh my… I think… No it's impossible. This can't be it.
Am I in coma? That's just, too weird. You know what? It's probably all just a dream and soon I will wake up and find out that we never even got on the plane. Just a weird dream.

What if it isn't a dream? What if something happened? Let's think what I know.
Zacky is here and Val is and… Damn it what the heck is this stupid thing in my hand?! It's starting to get annoying.

My whole body was numb and I could barely feel anything, all I could feel was the itching on my right arm and now, I felt something on the left one. I'm not sure what was it but it wasn't annoying. It felt good and I mentally smiled.

Then I heard a far voice. "Matt, I don't know if you can hear me now" Yes! I can! Fuck, of course that I can! "It's been so long and the doctors are saying that it might take months, even years." I wanted to move, to wake up, to talk to her; to tell her that it's alright. "I really miss you. You have no idea how much" Her voice sounded so cracked and broken. It sounded like she was crying, and it broke my heart to even think of that. "I have no idea how much more I can stand this thing, Matt. Please wake up already" Then I felt some coldness on my arm, and warmness on my palm.

I can't explain how but I knew that she was holding my hand now. Oh my. I felt like a teenager again when he gets close to his crush and his heart is beating fast and hands starting to sweat and he's so nervous that he messes things up. I really wanted to respond to that. To somehow let her know I can hear her. Everything I tried to do have failed. Damn it!

There must be something, anything, I can do. There just have to be.
I think I'm losing my mind. Oh fuck, is that what's happening?! Have I gone insane?
What if it is my imagination after all? Okay I am out of my mind.

"Oh my god, Matt!!!" What?! What happened? Damn why couldn't I talk? I don't know weather she sounded hysteric or excited but I automatically got worried. "Val? I heard you screaming are you okay there?" Was that Zacky again? Probably… I guess he got the food or whatever. I was so happy that he's here now to take care of Val.

"Za… Zacky he…Matt he… I think he's waking up, I… Felt him moving a bit" Did I? Am I? What? How? When?! Her voice sounded shaking, I couldn't tell weather she was happy or not. "Oh my god, are you fucking serious?! Should we call the doctor or what?" Woah ease it down, Zacky! His reaction is hilarious. Man, I would be laughing right now if I could. "Okay so I will be right back. Alright?" I don't know why but she let go of my hand. It made me feel sad and weak.

For a while nothing happened. I don't know was it seconds, minutes or hours but it felt long. Then, all of the sudden, I started to breathe. Before this moment I had air in my body but I wasn't breathing it, I can't explain it; was weird. But now I actually breathed. In and out, in and out… It felt so good, so fucking good. Then, after hours I've been trying to do this, I finally opened my eyes.

I looked around; I've never been here before. There was a white curtain around so I wouldn't call it a room. First thing that I noticed was is that I'm lying in this bed, I don't know where is that place but I've never been here before; not that I can recall. I couldn't move my head, just my eyes. And still, wasn't able to talk. I tried to call Val but no voice came out of my mouth. That made me feel so lame.

"Matt, are you awake?" My breaths got a little bit heavier.
I wanted to answer her; I wanted to let her know! Why am I like this anyway? Val got closer to me and held my hand again. This time I fully felt her touch and automatically closed my eyes. "No don't fall sleep again!" Since it seemed like I'm not able to make any sound, I tried to smile instead; it worked.

Slowly, I opened my eyes and tried to look around again. On my right arm I had a cannula connected, I tried to follow it with my eyes but it was out of my sight. Then I looked to my left; and I saw Val. Her face was full of worry and happiness; this sight made me the happiest man alive. Feeling her holding my hand like that was the best feeling in the world. I squeezed her hand gently, just to show her that I'm there, awake and happy. The smile never got off my face.

We had our moment for few minutes when I heard the curtains being opened. My gaze was still on Val as I didn't want this moment to over. "Matt, man!"
Zacky got closer to me; excited. As much as I hated it, I turned my look from Val and looked at him. He had a huge smile on his face and it made me happy to see him.
I actually missed him, which is kind of weird.

"How you doin', man?" I still couldn't talk, but I somehow managed to form the okay sign with my right hand. Then I realized Zacky didn't come alone, there was someone with him; he was wearing a white long robe so he was probably this doctor they were talking about. One thing you should know, when you can barely move your hands, hardly smile and the only active you can do is look around, it feels weird and kind of boring. And when three people are staring at you and you can't ask them what the fuck they are staring at, it gets annoying.

"Mr. Baker and Miss DiBenedetto, I will have to ask you two to leave the room as there are several checks I need to do to Mr. Sanders" I looked at Val again and saw her looked at the doctor. I wished she would stay; I wanted her to stay here with me!
She smiled and nodded to the doctor "Sure" Her hand let go of mine and I didn't like it. Zacky and Val started walking away from me as I tried to follow Val with my eyes. A second before she got out of my sight she turned around and waved to me; man this woman's affect in me was greatly dangerous.