It's Not the Life It Seems

Honey giggled and attached her lips back to the straw that was sitting in her juice. Mikey and Ray were arguing loudly about where they were headed to next, both of them wrong in their answers but absolutely sure that they were right.

“NO! We are driving to Canada now!” Mikey yelled at Ray, poking him in the chest.

“NO! It’s Mexico!” Ray yelled back, poking Mikey in the chest as well.

“Canada!”

“Mexico!”

“Canada!”

“Mexico!”

“Shut the fuck up! It’s neither of those!” Gerard finally roared, coming out of the bunk area with headphones dangling around his shoulders. Mikey and Ray fell silent but still glared at each other across the small dining booth they were sitting at.

Honey let out a loud laugh which caused her to spray her pineapple juice all over Bob who was sitting on the floor at her feet. It was just the whole ridiculousness of the situation which had these two men fighting with each other.

“Gross, Honey!” Bob exclaimed, turning around to look at her and wiping his face at the same time.

“Sorry Bob,” Honey said with an apologetic smile, reaching out to wipe some of the juice off that was dripping down his neck. Honey felt someone looking at her and glanced up to meet Gerard’s gaze. He gave her a small smile, his eyes not leaving hers, which she returned happily and looked down with a blush. Honey had been on cloud nine since they had left the hotel, which had only been an hour ago. Once on the bus, Honey and Gerard had gone their separate ways, but that didn’t mean he hadn’t been on Honey’s mind for the past hour. He was all she could think about, her thoughts were totally consumed with the vision of him taking such control over a hopeless situation.

Honey looked back up at Gerard to find him still looking at her. She bit her lip, and looked up at him, patting the seat next to her on the couch, inviting him to join her. He smirked at her and made his way over to the couch, ignoring the whipping noises Frank was making accompanied by a flick of his wrist.

“Hello,” Gerard said to her.

“Hello,” Honey said back, with a smile.

“You okay now?” He asked her, reaching out to squeeze her hand in a comforting manner.

Honey nodded, “I am. A little shaken, but otherwise fine. Thanks to you.”

“Aw, well it was my pleasure. I’d do it again too.” Gerard leaned over and pulled Honey into his arms, wrapping them tightly around her.

“Thank you,” Honey whispered into his ear.

“Stop saying thank you,” he whispered back.

“Aw, look at this sweet moment!” Frank cooed and jumped on them, wrapping his arms around the both of them.

“Yeah, that you just ruined!” Gerard told him and pushed him off, so that Frank was soon lying sprawled over Bob’s lap on the floor.

“I did not ruin, I…enhanced!” Frank proclaimed, struggling to get off Bob and stand.

“Enhanced?” Honey raised her eyebrows at him as Gerard put his arm around her.

“Yes, any contact with me just enhances any couples…experiences together. I am like, the ultimate third wheel,” Frank told them, sitting on both Gerard and Honey’s laps.

Honey wrapped her arms around Frank’s waist. “Yes, you are Frankie. The ultimate third wheel. “

Frank smiled at this and snuggled back into them, making himself completely comfortable.

“You right there Frank?” Gerard asked him, shifting his legs that were quickly losing any feeling in them due to the hefty weight placed upon them.

Frank turned around, “Yes, thank you for asking Gerard.”

Gerard sighed and relaxed back into the couch, his head lolling to the side to look at Honey. Honey grinned at him, happy just to be in her hero’s presence.

“You going to have that dude charged Honey?” Mikey asked Honey, turning away from the PSP he was playing.

Honey paused to think about it. “I don’t know if I want to go to court, and then it will all be in the media and I’ll have to deal with that. I think I would just rather him be committed.”

“Committed? Like to a mental institution?” Bob asked her.

“Yeah, he’s not well obviously. So maybe there he will get the help he needs,” Honey said, biting her lip.

Gerard leaned over and kissed her cheek. “That’s a really good decision,” he told her. Honey smiled at his approval and blushed. That was all she wanted, his approval.

“Paper, scissors, rock and the loser gets to dress the other in drag,” Honey said holding out her fist.

For the past hour she and Gerard had been bored, so had decided to annoy each other by playing stupid games. Honey had asked Gerard if she could dress him up in her clothes and make up, to which he had protested, not really wanting to look like a girl again and so he had responded by saying that only if he could dress her up. As a boy.

Gerard thrust out his fist to meet her hers and together they shook them. Gerard picking scissors and Honey paper.

“Shit,” Honey said, realizing she had lost.

“I win!” Gerard squealed.

“Rematch?” Honey asked pathetically.

“Nope, now come along…er, Homer,” he said.

“Homer?” Honey wrinkled her nose.

“Yes, that is your name. It’s the only men’s name I could think of that started with a H and sounded kinda like your name,” he told her.

Honey glared at the man grinning above her and begrudgingly sat up from the couch they had been sitting at. Gerard grabbed her hand and dragged her in the bunk area, talking excitedly on the way. Being cooped up in the bus for so long had caused him to go slightly insane, and so this distraction was a welcome one.

“I think you’re going to have to wear some things of Frank’s, because he is smaller then me so it will fit better,” Gerard said, digging in the cupboard for Frank’s bag. He up-zipped it and pulled out a pair of black skinny pants, which he threw at Honey, accompanied by a black ‘Misfits’ t-shirt.

“Put those on first, and then we’ll see what we have left to work with!” Gerard said excitedly, jumping on his own bed and grabbing his bag of make-up.

Honey groaned and obeyed him, slipping Frank’s jeans on which fit her surprisingly well. She then pulled the shirt on and stood back so Gerard could see what she looked like.

“Perfect,” he said with a smirk and dragging her to the bathroom.

Mikey, Frank, Ray and Bob were all relaxing in the lounge area when Gerard burst into the room.

“You have to see this, guys! I am a master, a true artist. Honey is no more and now I present to you…Homer!”Gerard announced and stood back, dramatically sweeping his arm up to the door where “Homer” was meant to be appearing.

“Uh, Homer?” Gerard said when Honey didn’t appear. Honey finally came out of the door and posed with her arms crossed for the men in front of her.

The band immediately all burst out laughing. Honey had to admit, she did look remarkably like a boy, especially because these days half the boys looked like girls anyway. Her long hair was tucked up in one of Frank’s hats, her fringe just peaking out. Her eyes rimmed with eyeliner like many of the boys these days wore and the outfit was completed with a pair of black converse.

“Sup,” Honey said in her deepest voice, giving them the nod.

“Can we keep him?” Frank asked, clasping his hands together so he appeared to be begging.

“No!” Honey yelled as the same time Gerard said, “Yes!”

“Honey, I mean, Homer, you have to go out in public like that. Just to see if anyone recognizes you,” Ray told her.

Honey looked at him like he was crazy, “no way.”

“Aw, do it Honey. Just one gas station?” Gerard asked, putting on the cutest face Honey had ever seen. How could she say no to him, he saved her.

“Okay, fine. One stop,” Honey said, giving in.

“Great!” he said, skipping up to the driver to ask him to stop at the next gas station.

“If I get recognized, I am going to hurt you all,” Honey told them, as Gerard came back.
“There is one just up a head, so get ready Homer.”

Honey felt the bus slowing down and finally come to a stop, before the engine shut off completely. She could hear the noises of the paparazzi’s SUV’s that constantly followed them also pulling over, jumping out of their cars as quickly as they could.

“Ready?” Frank asked her, as Mikey, Ray and Bob bounded down the stairs. Honey nodded in reply and made her way down the stairs, into the crowd.

“Who is that?” she heard some of the photographers whisper to each other.

“Honey’s new man?” they asked each other, hoping that the other would have some idea who this stranger was riding in the MCR bus.

Honey kept her head down and rushed through the glass doors into the convenience store.

“Anybody notice?” Was the first thing Mikey said to her.

“Nope,” Honey replied in her deep voice, crossing her arms once more to look tough. There were quite a few people in the store, all just on road trips to various locations, who were staring quite intently at the group of people in front of them. They were sure they had seen these strangers clad in black on some awards show one night.

“Holy shit! It’s Gerarld Way!” A girl in the store screamed, causing her four friends to whip their heads around to see for themselves. They all ran up the band, some of them pulling out pieces of paper and pens.

“Will you sign this please? I just…love…you so much!” A fan girl squealed. Gerard smiled in response and took the piece of paper, which he signed and passed on to Bob.

“Who are you? Are you, like, from another band or something?” One of them quite rudely asked Honey.

Honey cleared her throat. “Uh, yes,” she said in her deep man voice.

“What’s your band called?” Another asked, this time in a nicer manner, realizing Honey could be someone famous.

“Uh, Green Day,” she automatically said, saying the first band that came to mind and then mentally kicking herself for saying such a well known one.

“Oh my god, are you Billie?” One screamed, clearly having no idea what the front man of Green Day looked like.

“Yes, yes I am,” Honey replied, thinking how stupid these girls were.

“Will you sign this then?” A girl asked, snatching the piece of paper from Ray who was yet to add his signature.

Honey held back her laughter and scribbled down ‘love Billie Joe’ on the piece of paper and handed it back.

“So we ready to go then? Billie, you ready?” Frank asked them all, giggling a little.

They all nodded and smiled at the girls, who were standing there star struck.

“Bye Billie!” One of them cried and blew Honey a kiss, which Honey pretended to catch and put to her cheek, feeling fully in character.

“So Billie…” Gerard started, coming up to Honey.

“Yes Gerarld?” Honey said, turning to look at him, as they stood in front of the glass doors.

“You’re a pretty sexy guy, you know that?” he said, licking his lips.

“Hell yes I know that,” Honey said in her deep voice, “You’re a pretty sexy man too.”

Gerard grinned and leant down to kiss “Billie.” A few moments after his lips touched Honey’s, screams erupted from behind them.

“Gerard’s kissing Billie!” One of the girls screamed and pointed, just in case any one couldn’t see for themselves. The girls all looked disgusted, one was even ripping up a piece of paper that held the bands signatures. Honey just flipped them off, grabbed Gerard’s hand and opened the doors to go outside to the bus. Honey had forgotten about the camera’s outside, but pushed through quickly and made it to the bus.

“That was fun!” Gerard said, enjoying the sensation he had created in the small store.

Honey turned to look at him, pulling off Frank’s hat. “Gerard, you realize everyone is going to think your gay now, don’t you?” Honey told him.

Shit.