It's Not the Life It Seems

Honey was still in a surprisingly good mood. Especially for someone that had just had a ten minute yelling at by their personal assistant, followed by a half an hour lecture from their agent. According to Dave, Honey had to ‘straighten out and fly right’. She thought it was rather pathetic he had to resort to quoting old songs to get his point across. She was feeling understandably frustrated.

If there was one thing that the band mates had learnt, it was that Honey hated talking about anything to do with her uncertain future. Her future generally rested with the men in suits who were paid far to much for a job that involved taking complete advantage of another human being. Therefore whenever the boys tried to talk to Honey about just giving it all up, she would instantly clam up giving them all a ‘I don’t know’. It was also why Gerard was dreading the talk he knew they had to have about ‘what happens after tour’. She lived in Los Angeles, he in New Jersey. She had a legion of paparazzi, he a couple of extreme fans with their digital camera’s. Their worlds were miles apart, which was why, when Gerard Way walked into the bunk area of the bus where Honey Meadows was sleeping, he felt quite nervous.

Honey was slumped in her bunk, reading the magazine Gerard had picked up at the last gas station. It wasn’t a very good read, although it did provide her with a lot of insight about her fellow stars. Even though she was a celebrity herself, she was still a sucker for celebrity gossip. Unless it was about her of course.

“Good magazine?” Gerard questioned as he walked into the room. Honey looked up at him from where she had been reading about Britney Spears latest saga.

“Its alright,” she shrugged. “Better when it’s not about me I suppose.” Honey tossed the magazine aside and patted the space beside her, inviting Gerard to sit next to her.

“You’re not in it at all?” He asked, as he climbed in, folding his body up so he fit more comfortably.

“No, I am in it. You know, the usual crap. Nothing that I see as newsworthy at least, although there is a delightful picture of Bob carrying me through the streets in which I look particularly stunning in…I am of course being sarcastic here,” Honey told him, wincing at the memory of the picture.

“Ah,” Was all Gerard had to say on the matter. An awkward silence filled the bunk.

“So,” Gerard began, scratching the back of his neck,” there was kinda something I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Oh? What’s that?” Honey asked, her mind working a million miles an hour as she tried to predict what he was he had to talk to her about.

“Well…this tour ends soon, as you know. And we’re kinda together now…and I just wanted to know, what you think is going to happen after the tour. I mean, what are we going to do after the tour…about us?” He finished awkwardly, the words coming out of his mouth sounding nothing like the speech he had formulated in his head prior to this conversation.

Honey sat in silence for a moment, drinking in what he had just said.

“I see what you mean,” she finally said. “But it’s not the first time I’ve been in a relationship like this, where we are on opposite sides of the world.”

Gerard snorted. “Yeah, and look at how they have all turned out.”

Honey shot him a glare and continued. “I’m sure it can work, if we want it to. I have a week off after this ends, do you?”

Gerard thought for a moment. “Yeah, I do.”

“Well, you could come and stay with me for a week, if you wanted that is.”

Honey started playing with a piece of her blanket, feeling apprehensive as to what his answer would be. Why would this Jersey boy chose L.A. over his hometown?

“Okay.”

Honey’s head shot up to look at him. “Really?” she half squealed.

“Really!” He squealed back, mimicking Honey’s excited tone.

She playfully hit him in the arm. “Just for that, the spare room is all yours.”

Gerard scoffed. “Fine, I wont come and stay in Honeywood mansion with you then,” he told her, folding his arms indignantly.

Honey just rolled her eyes. “I was only joking, and what the hell is Honeywood?”

“The name Frank came up with for your house in one of his more clever moments. Well, I wouldn’t consider it exactly genius but he thinks it’s the smartest thing in the world.”

“Aw.”

“Don’t ‘aw’ me, its not cute!”

“Yes, it is,” Honey argued back, crawling out of her bunk to find Frank, leaving Gerard shaking his head in wonder about how this small guitarist could be so irresistible to everyone. Honey leapt into the lounge, fully aware that this would make next weeks show, and dove herself onto Frank’s lap. The force from her leap caused him to fall backwards onto the hard floor, a resounding smack echoing through the bus causing the other band members to turn their heads to see what had happened.

“Fuck,” Frank complained, as Bob and Ray roared with laughter upon seeing him on his back.

“Frankie, Honeywood is such a good name,” Honey gushed, ignoring the fact she had temporarily winded the man she was lying on.

“Thank you,” Frank gasped out, a dull ache beginning to form in his lower back. “Do you think maybe next time you want to tell me something you could maybe try not to kill me?”

Honey nodded. “Okay, I guess I could try that,” she agreed, climbing off the guitarist. “Mikey, want to help me make some cookies?”

Mikey looked up at her from the couch and nodded eagerly. He jumped up quickly and made his way to the kitchen, very keen to test his newly found kitchen skills.

“He makes one pizza, and now he thinks he is some sort of super chef,” Ray muttered to Bob, who nodded in agreement.

“Well at least he’s trying!” Honey told them sternly before joining Mikey in the kitchen, where he was already whipping out the ingredients he thought they would need.

“Er- Mikester? You don’t really need rice for cookies,” Honey said to him, looking in amusement at the weird things he was pulling out.

“What?” Mikey pulled his head out of the fridge. “Oh…yeah.” He gave a small blush and quickly put the rice away, hoping Honey hadn’t seen the onions yet.

After giving Mikey some much needed guidance, Honey wandered back out into the lounge and took a seat on the couch next to Frank.

“My back still hurts you know. I’m an old man now and not nearly as agile as I once was,” he informed her, rubbing his back to make sure his point got across.

Honey rolled her eyes. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Honey watched the boys playing their games for a while longer, not understanding how they could find fighting a person over and over again so interesting. It looked the same every time to her. She posed this question to the man beside her, who simply chuckled in response and called her ‘oh, so naïve’.

“Are we still going to that restaurant tonight?” Bob asked, not taking his eyes off the game.

“Bob!” A pillow was propelled towards his head by Frank, which hit its target and caused him to lose the fight he was trying to win against Ray.

“Frank, what the hell did you do that for?” Bob complained loudly, picking up the pillow to throw it back.

“Because dinner was supposed to be a surprise,” Frank told him, sighing angrily.

Bob dropped the pillow. “Oh.”

Honey was still a tad confused. “What, why are we going to dinner?” She asked.

Ray scowled at Bob. “It was supposed to be a surprise, but we were going to take you out to dinner seeing as the tours nearly over and tomorrow night is the last show,” he explained.

Honey’s eyes opened wide as understanding came over her.

“Can we still go? Please?” She begged, clasping her little hands together.

“Well, yeah. I mean, the table is booked. No point it going to waste because big mouth Byrar can’t keep his trap shut,” Frank said.

“Hey!” Bob protested, but was quickly silenced with a playful punch from Ray.

“Gerard is going to be so angry at you Bob. That’s two things this week you’ve done to annoy him,” Frank teasingly said.

“Ah shit,” Bob said, running a hand nervously through his hair. “Wait, what was the first thing?”

Frank changed his position so his head rested in Honey’s lap. “Duh, you wrecked all his make up with your milk.”

“Oh…yeah,” Bob said guiltily, wincing as Gerard’s loud footsteps made their way towards the lounge.

“Bob wrecked your surprise dinner for tonight,” was the first thing Frank came out with when the black haired man entered the room.

Gerard’s jaw dropped and he glared evilly at Bob. Bob winced, looking as though he was afraid of what the man might do.

“It was an accident,” Bob protested.

Gerard glared even more at him, putting his hands on his hips and pushing out his chest.

“Oh, an accident was it Bob? Just like the accident that involved you accidently wrecking all my makeup!” Gerard exclaimed, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Ha, told you he wouldn’t forget that Bob!” Frank said cheekily from his place in Honey’s lap.

“I said I was sorry!” Bob defended himself.

“Sorry just doesn’t cut it this time Bob, you totally ruined my sweet surprise. What if I had been proposing, huh? What if I wanted this night to be perfect because I was trying to do it right, and then you and your big mouth wrecks the whole thing?” Gerard argued, purposely trying to make Bob feel bad.

“Uh…I would be very sorry,” Bob replied.

“Damn straight you would be-“

“Wait, what is this about proposing? Because I hope it wouldn’t have been to me” Honey interjected.

“No, it would have been to the freaking pope, of course it would have been you. And I wasn’t ever planning on proposing but what if I was, and the night was wrecked?” Gerard questioned, raising an eyebrow and quickly losing his tough guy demeanor.

“That’s a pretty huge what if right there Gerard,” Ray told him.

“I am just saying, Bob would have ruined it by not-“

Gerard’s speech was cut off by the shrill sound of an alarm that pierced the air.

“What the fuck?” Frank said, quickly sitting up. Everyone’s heads instantly turned towards the kitchen, where Mikey emerged with a face of flour and a batch of burnt cookies in his hands.

“I thought that if I turned the heat all the way up, the cookies would cook faster,” Mikey explained as he attempted to be heard over the noise.

“Mikey!” Honey exclaimed, as Ray jumped up to fan the smoke away from the detector.

“What!?”

“You’re an idiot,” Bob told him.

“Oh, like you’re one to talk, Byrar,” Gerard quickly said to Bob, who flushed and had the grace to sit down once more.

After a few moments more fanning, Ray was able to calm the smoke alarm and trick it into believing all the smoke was gone. They sat in silence, relishing the lack of noise.

“I thought they would be done faster,” Mikey finally mumbled. Honey took one look at his sad face and hopped off the couch, making her way over to him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a kiss on his head.

“Its okay Mikey, I can see why you thought that,” Honey said to him, stroking his hair gently.

Gerard snorted. “Mikey, that was pretty stupid logic,” he said to his brother. His words received a huge glare from Honey and a grumpy look from his brother.

“Come on Mikey, let’s go and get ready for dinner,” Honey said, standing up and
pulling Mikey up by his arm and walking swiftly past everyone else.

An hour later Mikey was standing behind Honey straightening her shiny locks to perfection. Her makeup was flawless, as was Mikey’s minimal look. Mikey’s hair was styled just the way he liked it, if not better, thanks to the twenty minutes Honey dedicated to doing it. They had locked themselves in there, ignoring the many groans and protests that came from the rest of the band who were not allowed in, although most of it was from Gerard.

“Now, do you think I should wear the gold Donna Karen or black Versace? God, such a decision,” Honey said to Mikey.

“Uh…I think you look nice in gold,” Mikey replied, trying to be as helpful as possible, thankful for all the support Honey had been giving him. It was nice having someone on his team for once.

“Really? Gold you think?” Honey pondered it for a moment and then made her final decision. “Yes, okay. Gold it is. Besides, Versace is pretty much for sluts anyway. Thanks Mikey!”

“No problem,” Mikey chuckled, knowing he really didn’t offer her any real help but was pleased none the less that she had listened to him. Mikey concentrated for the next few minutes on making Honey’s hair perfect, admiring the effect as he did the last part.

“Thanks Mikey, it looks great,” Honey said to him brightly, running her fingers through it.

Mikey simply beamed at her. “Ready to go?” He asked, gesturing his head towards the bathroom door. Honey nodded and flicked the lock open, hearing several sighs of relief.
“Oh my god, they’re alive!” Frank cried dramatically, throwing himself in the bathroom and being quickly followed by Gerard Mirror Hog Way.

“Aw, don’t you look cute Bob,” Honey said to the man who was buttoning up his dark blue dress shirt. “Very spiffy.” Bob smiled shyly, looking away in case a blush appeared on his cheeks.

“What about me?” Ray asked, holding out his arms wide to display his white and blue striped shirt.

“Oh, just gorgeous,” Mikey replied, kissing him on the cheek in a joking manor.

“Ew, Mikey germs,” Ray complained, wiping his cheek. Mikey gave a pretend pout, crossing his arms and glaring at Ray.

“It’s okay Mikey, I wouldn’t mind having Mikey germs,” Honey said to him, continuing her streak of being on team Mikey.

“I fucking heard that!” Gerard called from the bathroom. Honey rolled her eyes and stripped in front of the boys, causing a few different reactions from them. Ray and Mikey were not really fazed, although Ray did turn away out of respect while Mikey had no problems with ogling his brother’s girlfriend and wife’s friend. Bob turned very red, very quickly and practically ran into the lounge.

“Eek, put some clothes on woman!” Frank exclaimed, half joking as he emerged from the bathroom, not really looking any different from before. Gerard stuck his head around the door upon hearing that, to see if what Frank had said was true.

“Why, hello,” Gerard said, in his sleaziest voice.

Honey turned around and gave him a half smile, before returning to get dressed. She was used to being half naked in front of people she hardly knew, so walking around in her underwear in front of her friend was nothing to her. She was in no way body shy and was happy to flaunt her tanned skin and small thighs.

“Zip my dress up for me Mikes?” Honey asked him, to which he readily complied.

“And why didn’t you ask me to zip up your dress?” Gerard chastised her.

“Wouldn’t you rather unzip it?” Honey replied in a seductive whisper, causing the lead singer to instantly think dirty thoughts. He bit his lip, feeling his heart start racing and his hormones becoming that of a teenager.

Honey laughed to herself as she walked away into the lounge, holding a pair of black heels in her hands. She loved turning boys to mush, it was something she found way too entertaining.

“I think we might be here,” Bob said to Honey, peeking out the window as the bus slowed down. “There is a shit load of paparazzi out there already. You…um, haven’t been drinking have you?”

Honey gaped at him. “No! I have been with you all afternoon, I have not been drinking.”

“Okay, just checking. You know that’s what they’re all here for, to catch you completely smashed and doing something else extreme.”

“Well, they are going to be disappointed then and they are wasting their time,” Honey countered.

Bob nodded in agreement, admiring the strength the little pop star had in continuing to face them. If it was him and he had been caught time and time again as Honey had, he would have been perfectly content to hide in his house all day and never come out.

The remaining boys wandered into the lounge, all looking their best in their smartest clothes. Although Frank’s smartest clothes consisted of borrowing a number of items from Gerard.

“Ready?” Ray asked, making his way to the door.

They all nodded in unison, and prepared to face the paparazzi.

“You look totally hot tonight,” Gerard mumbled in Honey’s ear, giving her a seductive smirk. Honey nodded her thanks and linked arms with Bob.

Ray pushed open the door and walked through it, into the crowd that was rapidly growing.

“Lets go,” Honey said to her blonde haired companion, guiding him down the stairs. The flashes immediately started up, Bob found himself being temporarily blinded by it all. Honey smiled through it all, gliding past the photographers and maintaining her dignity, even though her ego had taken quite a bashing lately.

“Is he your new boyfriend Honey?” One of them asked her as she passed. Honey smiled at them.

“Oh no, he is my fiancé,” she told them, loving for once that she was the one starting the rumors. A collective gasp came from the crowd, including one from Bob who was most surprised when he felt Honey’s soft lips on his cheek. She gave a laugh and continued on her way, dragging her ‘fiancé’ behind her.

They made it to the glass doors and pushed them open, grateful to be in the sanctuary of the classy restaurant. Gerard came through a few moments later, ignoring Honey and Bob completely and storming towards their reserved table.

“What’s his problem?” Honey asked Mikey as he was the next through the door.

Mikey rolled his eyes. “The ‘fiancé’ thing you just said. I tried to tell him it was a joke, but you know Gerard. Any chance to completely overreact and he’ll leap at it,” Mikey informed her, making his position on “team Honey” obvious. She had stood up for him before, and now he would do the same. Even if the rule was meant to be ‘bro’s before ho’s’. But he in no way considered Honey to be a ‘ho’ so considered it an amendment to the rule.

Honey sighed, wishing she had thought before she had opened her mouth. She should have known that the one time that she tried to have the upper hand on the paparazzi that it would backfire.

Frank suddenly burst through the door, flicking his short hair behind his ears and removing the large glasses he had “borrowed” from Honey and unwrapping the boa he had “borrowed” from Gerard from his neck.

“Oh my god,” he gasped dramatically, throwing a hand to his forehead. “Its so hard being a celebrity these days!”

“Yes, because you are SO famous Frank,” Mikey said sarcastically.

“What can I say? The people love me!”