It's Not the Life It Seems

Honey woke up the next morning to the smell of breakfast making its way under the closed door and wafting into the bunk area. It was only early, but the odor was so strong she couldn’t help but wake.

She glanced into the bunk next to her, seeing Frank peering out.

“You smell that?” he whispered, so as to not to wake the others who were sleeping up.

“Yeah,” Honey whispered back.

“What is that?” Came a voice from the bunk above Frank, and Honey looked up to see Mikey sticking his head out of his curtain.

“That my friend, is the smell of food cooking,” Frank informed him, his voice gaining volume.

Honey swung her long legs out of the bunk, preparing to go and investigate who was cooking breakfast and thanking her lucky stars it wasn’t Mikey. She didn’t quite think the eager young man was ready to be cooking on his own yet, as she didn’t fancy finding onions in her pancakes. Frank made his way to the door, as Honey slipped a hoodie on, the warmth from her blankets now gone and replaced by the chill of the cold morning. Frank twisted the handle and opened the door, only to have a weight thrown against it shutting the door once more.

Frank blinked down at in confusion, the early morning affecting his brain’s capabilities. He pushed once more, only to have it thump back in its closed position.

“You can’t come in here!” Gerard called from the other side of the door.

Mikey jumped down from his bunk now, obviously sensing something odd happening and not wanting to miss out on a moment of the action.

“Why?” Mikey asked.

“Because I said so,” Came Gerard’s muffled reply.

Mikey rolled his eyes. “Gerard, let us in. It’s not your kitchen. In case you didn’t know, this tour bus belongs to all of us.”

“No,” Gerard whined. “You’ll ruin the surprise. I promise you can come in here in, like, half an hour. Just go back to bed or something.”

The three that were standing at the door looked at each other and shrugged, making the decision to go along with whatever crazy scheme Gerard had formulated. Last night had not yet been forgotten and so the wisest thing to do was not anger the lead singer any further.

“Fine,” Honey said to the door and a noise could be heard that was obviously Gerard getting off the door and back to whatever he had been doing.

“He is so groveling,” Honey said to the two boys next to her.

“Big time,” Mikey agreed. “I don’t remember the last time I saw him clean. I thought he had forgotten what the concept actually was.”

“The place is spotless,” Honey said appreciatively, looking around the sparkling room which seemed to have this new glow about it.

“I don’t think it was this clean when we bought it,” Frank commented. A sound from above them caused the three to look up and see Ray stick his curly brown head out. His eyes searched around briefly before landing on them and looking curiously down.

“What’s up?” he croaked, rubbing his eyes.

“Gee’s banned us from the lounge,” Honey explained.

Ray groaned. “He’s not still grumpy, is he?”

Mikey shrugged, as at the same time Frank said, “Nah, I think he’s making breakfast as a way of apologizing.”

“I should hope so,” was Ray’s reply, as he swung out of the bunk and landed with a thump on the floor. Honey slid down the door and sat on the floor, shortly joined by Mikey and Frank.

“Should we wake Bob?” Honey asked.

“You have a death wish?” Frank replied, raising an eyebrow. “Actually, I do. I’ll get him.”
Frank scrambled to his feet and with the agility of a child, climbed up to Bob’s bunk and disappeared behind the curtain. Moments later, Frank’s body appeared again. This time it was being pushed out of the bunk and landing on the floor with a thud that echoed through the room.

Frank rubbed his ass and crawled back to his spot. “Bob’s up,” he said, a tad regretfully.

“Fucking midget,” Bob growled, climbing down out of his bunk.

“We didn’t want you to miss Gee’s surprise,” Mikey explained.

“At the rate he’s going, it’s mostly likely to be something like ‘you’re all out of the band, surprise!’” Bob grumbled, last night not forgotten from his mind either.

“Surprise, I’m going to cook you all now,” Frank said.

“Surprise, I’ve decided to become a monk and move to Bali,” Ray said.

“Surprise, I’ve decided that I am actually really, in fact, a superhero. I am leaving to go find my power,” Mikey said in a weird voice.

There was silence for a moment before Ray snorted and said, “That last one is something I wouldn’t actually put past Gerard.”

Honey wrinkled her nose and stared at Ray. “Are you serious?” She asked, her eyes wide. “That’s a little weird.”

“It’s more then a little weird, but that’s our Gerard,” Frank replied, putting his head in Bob’s lap, all previous resentment at being pushed out of his bunk forgotten.

“He’s totally weird, but we love him anyway,” Bob added, petting Frank’s head.

Ray noticed Honey’s worried expression and put an arm around her. He knew she was considering what had just been said, fretting over the many things she might not know about the man she was meant to be dating. He was guessing Honey didn’t have much experience with slightly nerdy boys who favored video games over partying anyway, she normally stuck to the men who had a good reputation and were absurdly good looking. That was with the exception of Alex Turner of course, he didn’t know what Honey was thinking there. He was neither good looking nor did he have a particularly good reputation. Ray figured this was a good thing, because he would have worried more if Gerard was with a woman who didn’t date anyone who was a bit unusual.

“Ready,” Gerard’s voice sung out, causing the five to turn their heads towards the door.

“Who wants to go first?” Honey whispered, not knowing that they were in for and not particularly wanting to be the first.

“Me!” Frank exclaimed, springing up out of Bob’s lap and onto his feet. The rest of the group slowly stood up, bones aching from sitting on the hard floor for so long. Frank shot Honey a grin and open the door revealing an embarrassed Gerard standing in the middle of the lounge. Behind him was a table full of food, some he had prepared himself and some he had simply ordered someone to buy. He had even made a small banner, which he had hung from the air-conditioning vent which read ‘Sorry’, complete with a little self portrait of himself begging for forgiveness on his knees.

“I know I was a jerk yesterday,” Gerard started, pushing his fingers through his hair. “So I made you breakfast.”

Bob gaped at the front man. “You think breakfast is going to make up for the shit you put us through?”

Gerard nodded. “Yep, and if you don’t like it, tough shit.”

Bob shrugged. “Looks good, better taste alright.”

“It does,” Gerard said encouragingly, pushing the drummer down on into a seat. He then eagerly pushed a plate of pancakes in front of him that seemed to be smothered in scrambled eggs. Bob winced a little looking at it, but one hopeful glance from the lead singer had him begrudgingly shoving the breakfast into his mouth. Bob resisted the urge to gag as the flavors mixed in his mouth and created an awful taste. If he thought Mikey couldn’t cook, it was nothing compared to Gerard’s serious lack of ability.

“Well?” Gerard asked, grasping his hands together and looking at Bob expectantly.

Bob reluctantly swallowed, having no where to spit it out and forced a smile on his face. “It’s really good Gee,” he said to the lead singer. Gerard’s face lit up in a smile and he wrapped his arms around Bob’s neck to show his delight. As Gerard’s head leaned over Bob’s shoulder, Bob made a frantic face at Ray, conveying the message that the food really wasn’t all that delightful. .

Mikey let out a snort and sat down at the table, dragging Honey in next to him. Ray sat next to Bob and Frank came perched himself on Honey’s lap, not caring that his weight vastly outweighed hers. Gerard quickly set about placing full plates in everyone, decorating Frank’s in a vegan bacon smiley face and Honey’s in a love heart.

He planted a kiss on the side of her head as he gave it to her. “There you go,” he said smiling as his way of saying sorry. Honey smiled back, half her face squished into Frank’s back as the table was hardly accommodating for two people to sit. Honey briefly wondered how a rather large person would fit, before cutting of a square of pancake with her fork. She lifted it to her lips and pulled the piece of with her teeth, she chewed a few times before ceasing the action. They were the worst pancakes she had ever tasted. Honey was fairly certain Mikey could do better.

However one look at Gerard’s hopeful face had her swallowing the mouthful and smiling brightly.

“Good?” He asked, every one of his little teeth showing.

Honey nodded in what she hoped was a sincere manner. “So good.”

They had all struggled through their breakfast, Gerard taking their forced elated faces as a sign that they wanted more. He had quickly served anyone who had finished a third of their plate up with more. Ray had tried once to say to the singer he didn’t want more, but the second Gerard’s face had fallen had him scrambling for more eggs. Even though he had to pick the shell out.

As Gerard was cleaning the dishes, for what Mikey had pointed out was the first time in his life, they had all taken refuge in the far back room to discuss the man without him being there.

“Okay, let’s all make a deal never to piss Gerard off again,” Bob said in his loud, commanding voice.

“Deal,” they all said simultaneously.

“He is being freakishly happy,” Ray said.

“So he should be, he was a right little shit yesterday,” Mikey responded, sinking down onto one of the couches.

“Mikey, have you been watching British television again?” Frank asked his friend, noticing the wording of Mikey’s sentence. Mikey nodded sheepishly.

“Does anyone else feel incredibly sick right now?” Honey asked, placing a hand over her sore stomach.

Mikey, Bob and Ray all nodded, while Frank shook his head and said, “I actually liked it.”

Honey rolled her eyes and clamped a hand over her mouth as her stomach gave a lurch. “I am going to go to the bathroom, just in case,” she said, dashing out of the room and into the small bathroom.

“Wonderful. Gerard has managed to give America’s princess food poisoning. We are going to be the most hated band on the planet,” Mikey moaned, being the pessimist he sometimes was.

“Don’t be an idiot, Mikey, he hasn’t given her-“the sound of someone retching cut of Ray mid speech. “Okay he has, but don’t tell him that.”

“I’m going to see if she’s okay,” Bob said, quickly walking to join Honey in the small bathroom.

Frank looked thoughtfully at Bob’s retreating figure. “You know, I don’t think I have ever seen him be this caring in all the time I have known him,” the small guitarist commented. “He never came to hold my hair back when I was hurling.”

Ray smiled knowingly and said, “I think our Bob has a soft spot for America’s princess.”

Mikey was about to respond to this when Gerard came rushing in wide eyed. “Is Honey puking?” He asked, wincing at the sound behind him.

“Yep,” Ray said, giving a shrug.

“Why?”

Ray and Mikey exchanged a look, both silently agreeing not to tell Gerard it was the food he had force fed them. It was simply kinder this way.

“Maybe you knocked her up,” Frank said loudly, causing Mikey to smack the back of his head as Gerard visibly paled.

“You think?” He asked, believing every word that Frank was telling him could be true.

“Oh yeah,” Frank nodded wisely. “What other explanation is there?”

Gerard chewed his bottom lip, in deep thought as he considered it.

Mikey leaned over and smacked Frank’s head again, indicating to his friend it was time to stop.

“Frank, cut that shit out,” Mikey said, his brotherly protective side coming out.

“Well what else could it be, Mikey?” Frank teased, wanting Mikey to blurt out that his brothers food was the cause just for the entertainment value. He knew it was cruel, but he was betting the look on Gerard’s face would make up for it.

Mikey just glared at Frank and responded, “Must have been something she ate.”

At this Gerard’s face went completely pale, his mouth wide open in shock. “You don’t think it was my food, do you?” He gasped, putting a dramatic hand over his heart.

“No, no,” Mikey reassured his brother, as at the same time Frank gave a hinting shrug. “Frank, your not helping, stop distressing my brother.”

“Stop distressing my brother?” Frank snorted and laughed. “Who say’s that?”

Mikey glared at Frank, folding his arms over his chest as Honey came back in the room, protectively followed by Bob. She pushed her now sweaty hair back, bumping purposely into Gerard.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, passing her the water Ray was offering.

“Sick,” she mumbled, unscrewing the lid and taking a sip.

“You were fine before,” Gerard pointed out.

Honey gave a shrug. There was no way that she could admit to the man the bad effect his food had had on her stomach. His attempt to apologize was endearing and utterly cute.

“You think you’ll be better before our last show tomorrow? It’s the last night of tour! You have to be fine,” Gerard kept arguing, almost as much to convince himself.

“I’ll be fine,” Honey told him, pressing her lips together to stop what was left in her stomach coming back up.

“Are you-“

Gerard’s question was cut off by Honey sprinting back to the bathroom, quickly followed by Bob. The singer sighed to himself, wondering what on earth was wrong with the woman and hoping she would get better. It didn’t occur to him that he should probably be the one in the bathroom holding her hair back, as Bob was more then willing.

Gerard looked over to his remaining band mates and gave a small smile.

“Well, I’m going to go get started on lunch!”