It's Not the Life It Seems

“We are never annoying Gerard again. And I think from this point on, he is also never wrong,” Ray groaned, rubbing his stomach.

“Let’s just never give him a reason to feel the need to ‘apologise’ again,” Bob agreed.

“It was a cute effort,” Frank said, being the only one whose stomach was not affected by the food.

“It was a near fatal effort,” Bob argued, frowning at Frank who was the only one in the room not frowning.

Frank rolled his eyes, becoming increasingly bored with all the complaining his friends were doing. So Gerard couldn’t really cook, they didn’t to need keep going on about it.

“I’m going to go and get ready for the show,” Frank muttered, standing from his place on the couch and going into the bunkroom.

Honey checked the time on her phone, seeing that they still had three hours before the show. The boys had already been through sound check, though not without considerable protesting on their part at how they were too sick to stand. They had all been silenced with one menacing look from Brian, and a confused look from Gerard about how he had managed to escape this sickness that seemed to be plaguing them.

“What do you think I should wear tonight?” Mikey asked randomly, picking at the hem of his shirt.

“Oo well I think you look just divine in the black Smith’s shirt,” Bob said in his ‘gayest’ voice, adding in a little hand flick before flipping invisible long hair behind his shoulder. Honey and Ray laughed as Mikey rolled his eyes.

“I was asking Honey,” Mikey said in a bored voice, indicating he was not amused.

Honey contemplated it for a moment, before replying, “your Mikey Fuckin Way one. It’s awesome. I even want one.”

“You want one?” Mikey asked, scrambling to his feet with the agility of a young child and taking the few steps to the bunk room. He returned moments later, throwing a shirt in Honey’s face.

Honey unfolded it and held it up to see he had given her one his own special shirts. “Thank’s Mikey!” Honey said, quickly taking off the shirt she was wearing, much to the embarrassment of Bob, and slipped it over her head. It was a little on the large side as it was made it fit an adult male, but didn’t look bad, especially when she tied it at the back.

“I’m now officially a Mikey fan!” Honey proclaimed, standing up and showing off her shirt. Mikey grinned at her, as Bob and Ray smiled mostly to humor her.

“Damn it, Mikey, I am going to have to get shirts with my name on it. You have all these hot women wearing a shirt with your fucking name on it,” Gerard whined, coming into the small back lounge followed by Frank, who had a note book in his hands.

“Yeah right, you’d have to pay people to wear yours, bro,” Mikey retorted, even though they both knew everyone would kill to wear a Gerard Way shirt.

Gerard put in his hands on his hips, as he tended to do when he was becoming hyper and overly dramatic. “I don’t think so,” he replied, and turned to Honey. “You’d wear mine, wouldn’t you?”

He shot her a glare that suggested if she said otherwise, she would be in trouble.

Honey gave a shrug. “I don’t know, there is something especially cool about a Mikeyway shirt. I just don’t know if a Gerard Way shirt would do it for me.”

Gerard gave a flick of his hand. “Right, we’re definitely finished,” he said. “Anyway, Brian’s favorite person in the world rang him before and told him to tell us to get off our asses and make a list of people we would like at the finale party.”

There was silence for a moment before Ray asked, “Who is Brian’s favorite person?”

“Pretty sure Kirstin. He thinks she rings him every hour. I think she has a crush on him,” Gerard replied cheerfully, squeezing himself in on the couch between Honey and Mikey.

Frank, who had no concept of personal space, came and sat down on Honey, throwing all of weight on the small woman.

“Why do we need to make a list? I thought they would just invite whoever wanted to come?” Bob asked, scratching his head.

Gerard rolled his eyes. “We thought that too, but apparently someone on this bus has many long running feuds, so they didn’t want a huge cat fight on a night that’s supposed to be about the show.”

Frank snorted. “Which is fairly ridiculous, considering they normally love drama,” he commented.

Gerard nodded in agreement. “I think they want our band friends there as well, so it’s a personal affair that the whole world can watch,” he replied. “Okay, Frank get your pen ready because we are making a list!”

Frank poised the pen at the top of a fresh white page in the notebook. No one said anything, instead just looking at each other blankly.

Gerard sighed. “Fine, I’ll say one, Billy Corgan.”

Ray snorted, while Mikey nodded his head eagerly in agreement.

“In your dreams, man,” Bob said.

“I don’t care, if he’s invited, he could come,” Gerard argued. “Frank, put him down.”

Frank did as he was told and wrote down ‘Billy Corgan/ Gerard’s estranged father.’

“Put down Taking Back Sunday and Thursday, they’re awesome and should show,” Ray said, mentioning people who were a little more realistic.

“What about the Wentz, Mik-ster?” Gerard asked his brother.

Mikey gave a shrug. “Yeah but then he’ll bring Ashlee and I don’t like the way he acts around her,” he replied.

Gerard raised an eyebrow at this but didn’t comment. “Liza Minnelli.”

“Fuck off, Gerard,” Frank said, knowing an appearance by her was even less likely then Billy Corgan.

“The Killers,” Ray put in, which Frank instantly added to his small list.

“Oh OH!” Gerard exclaimed, flapping his arms a little. “Paris and Benji. Just think of how fucking hilarious that would be. They need to come just for the novelty factor.”

“She so copied Nicole,” Frank snarled, adding the couple to his list, as well as Nicole and Joel.

“She did,” Honey agreed. “I think we’re all just waiting for her to announce her pregnancy.”

“Gross,” Mikey said.

“Very,” Gerard agreed. “Oh, the president! Now that would be funny.”

Frank just rolled his eyes and wrote the name down, humoring Gerard was always easier then arguing with him.

Half an hour later they had compromised a semi-decent list of people they considered worthy of attending their party. Notably absent from it was Lindsay Lohan, even though Gerard thought her newest relationship with the female DJ was ‘hot’, and The Used. Honey had suggested them, hoping to meet one of her favorite bands but had been turned down with a flat no by every single member of My Chemical Romance. Apparently Gerard had some long running feud with Bert, which Honey hadn’t pressed due to the murderous look on the lead singers face.

“Well I’ll go and inform Brian of this wonderful list,” Frank said, pulling out his phone and walking into the kitchen.

“I’m going to wear this shirt tonight,” Honey announced, running her fingers over the printed words.

“It’s our last concert, and you’re wearing a Mikey shirt,” Gerard said, sounding unimpressed.

Mikey smirked. “What did I tell you, bro? The girls, they line up for hours to have the honor of wearing my name across their chest.”

Gerard scowled. “You look like Mikey’s groupie.”

“Well then the day you get shirts, I’ll wear one. I like this one, so I’m wearing it,” Honey told him, kissing his cheek, hoping that his jealousy would leave.

“Okay,” Gerard agreed, though he was fairly certain he didn’t like the idea of people walking around wearing his name.

“I’m going to go and get ready,” Mikey said, intending to go and claim the bathroom as his own for the next half hour. There was a perfectly good dressing room inside the venue, yet time after time the band favored fighting each other for the small mirror that hung on their cramped bathroom wall.

“I’m coming too!” Honey cried, jumping up so as not to let Mikey win the whole mirror space. “I am thinking I’ll wear this shirt with leggings. It’s long enough on me that it sort of can pass for an over-sized shirt.”

“That will look sweet,” Mikey said to her, picturing the outfit in his head.

“With my red heels,” Honey added, mentally going through her suitcase. “And red scarf.”

“With red lips?” Mikey suggested, as the weeks of being around Honey had taught him a thing or two about fashion.

Honey’s eyes lit up. “Yes! Perfect Mikey,” Honey praised, clapping her hands together and then throwing her arms around Mikey’s neck. “I am going to be a total rock chick tonight!”

“And I am going to be total rock…god!” Mikey proclaimed, going into his ‘rock star’ stance, which consisted of him pointing to the sky and a hand on his hip.

Honey smiled at him, Mikey could be adorably cute sometimes. He was more like the baby brother of everyone on tour, rather then just exclusively Gerard’s.

“I’m getting ready now,” Honey said to him, dragging her suitcase out from the storage place and rummaging through it for her leggings. She pushed her belongings aside and after a few minutes realized that none of them were there. Honey pondered this for a moment, wracking her brains as to whether or not she had worn them recently.

“Frank,” Honey called warningly, as a thought occurred to her.

Frank’s head appeared around the small wall that separate the bunks from the lounge. “You called?”

“Yes, do happen to know where all my leggings have gone?” She asked him, raising an eyebrow when his face became guilty.

“Uh, Gerard and I were re-enacting scenes from Peter Pan the other night, and well, we just couldn’t do it without the tights,” Frank explained.

Honey narrowed her eyes. “Couldn’t do it without the tights,” she repeated.

Frank shook his head and then stuck a hand in his bunk. “I swear…” He fished around for a moment before pulling out a pair of leggings. “Found them!” he said triumphantly.

Honey gingerly took them from him, and brought it up to her nose to sniff. “At least they don’t stink,” she said.

Frank nodded eagerly. “If I had given you the ones Gerard was wearing it might have been a different story.”

“Oh Frank, you are just too kind,” Honey replied sarcastically, before pulling down her jeans and putting the black leggings on in their place. Honey glanced down at them and saw to her dismay that they were much looser then they should be, and not completely hugging her legs.

“They look good,” Frank giggled, indicating he saw something wrong with them too.

Honey gave him a glare. “You’ve stretched them!”

“It can be a new look. You’re a style icon, make it work, darling!”Frank cried, putting on his best French accent.

Honey giggled at him, unable to stay even the slightest bit angry at the man for the smallest amount of time. “You’ve probably started a new trend here Frankie,” she said. “Plus, if anyone asks I’ll just say you were wearing them first and they’ll die o f jealousy.”

Frank smirked. “Exactly.”

A loud crash came from in the bathroom, the sound of a million products landing on the floor echoing through the bus.

“Motherfucker!” came an angry voice.

Frank and Honey looked at each other. “Mikey,” the said in unison and then took the few steps to the bathroom to find out what was wrong.

Frank knocked at the door. “Mikey, you good man?”

“Ugh,” Mikey responded, his voice slightly muffled by the thin wooden door.

“What’s wrong?” Honey asked, just as Frank pushed the door open to reveal Mikey on the floor with a pair of extremely small jeans half way up his legs.

“Dude,” Frank said, wincing.

Mikey glared at him. “They won’t fit,” he complained.

“You putting on weight, Mikes?” Ray asked, coming up behind Frank and Honey to see what the noise was about.

“No,” Mikey growled. “They just won’t fit!”

Honey took a closer look at the jeans. “Mikey…are they mine?”

Mikey blushed. “I couldn’t find the ones I like, and I thought yours would fit me,” he explained.
Ray laughed and walked away, probably to go and tell Gerard and Bob about it.

“Well, if you can get them on you’re welcome to wear them,” Honey told him.

Mikey sighed. “I might stick to some of mine.”

“I think you should man,” Frank put in, seriously hoping that the bus camera’s had managed to capture the moment.

“Time to go,” Bob shouted from the front of the bus. Honey and Frank looked at each other in wide eye panic.

“Not ready yet!” Honey screamed, dashing into the bunk room as Mikey attempted to pull the jeans from his legs.
“Shit, where are my clothes?” Frank asked, looking around the room.

“Gerard!” Mikey yelled from the bathroom, unable to get the pants from his legs and needing the help of his brother.

Gerard came in from the backroom, smearing foundation all over his face.

“What’s Mikey need?” He asked Frank and Honey, rather then going to the bathroom to find out for himself.

“He needs help getting undressed,” Frank supplied helpfully, and holding back his laughter at Gerard’s face of horror.

“Seriously?” The singer questioned, seeing as Mikey hadn’t needed help getting undressed since he was about three.

“Gerard!” Mikey screeched. “I can’t get these jeans off!”

Gerard grimaced and put down his foundation, making his way into the bathroom and roaring in laughter when he saw his brother.

Frank and Honey grinned at each other, before throwing on their clothes and accessories. Honey made up a small bag of makeup to bring into the venue, she would just have to get ready there. Frank dashed into the lounge, quickly followed by Honey and then the brothers- all ready to go.

Bob was sitting on the couch reading a magazine, while Ray was flicking through the channels on the television.

“Well, are we going?”Gerard asked, standing behind everyone impatiently.

Bob looked up at them and laughed, nudging Ray who soon did the same.

“We still have half an hour, fuckers,” Bob informed them, grinning away like what he had actually done was clever.

Mikey frowned, not yet over the embarrassment of having his brother pull of his clothes.

“Bob Byrar, you are so dead!”