Mental Fiction Follow Me

"This place is so posh. I feel fancier already." Ryan said, wiggling a little on his throw pillow that was masquerading as a seat at the current moment, a smile of contentment on his face.

I awed a little at how utterly adorable he looked, but of course Pete had to open his mouth-

"I think the word you're looking for is gay." He smirked at the glare Ryan shot his way.

"Pfft, don't be jealous cause Ryan is prettier than you are Petah'." Brendon said, rising to defend Ryan's honor. Meep at the cuteness!

"Mwap me!" Pete retorted, mouth full of pita bread as he stuck up his middle finger in the oh so mature response of a twelve year old.

Ashley groaned," Pete! Do not talk with your mouth full. Ick, I can see all the mashed up food in your mouth, guh."

Brendon scrached his head in confusion, "Mwap me? Can somebody who speaks retard please translate that for me?"

This man behind us gasped and looked ready to stab his cellphone into Brendon's eye, and that's when we noticed that the little boy sitting with him was autistic-

"Brendon!" Ashley and I scowled at him and he winced, mouthing a 'sorry'.

Pete, Gabe and William were near to choking with laughter, holding onto each other as the force of their silent guffaws were threatening to throw them off the pillows.

Ryan just frowned at them, disappointed at their behavior. I totally agreed. Really. Was no place sacred from retard jokes?

I sighed, " We should just wrap this dinner thing up and go home-"

Immediately a litany of 'What!?' and 'But I'm still hungry' and of course my favorite 'You suck!' were shrieked as the boys tried to stuff as much food as they could into their mouth, glaring at me as if I would take it away.

I glared, "It's called carry out, dumb-asses! Gahd, why do I even bother going out with you people."

"Cause we're paying?" Pete offered, wiping his mouth on Gabe's sleeve, but of course Gabe wasn't wearing a shirt with sleeves and so-

"You dickless son of a satanist bitch!" Gabe yelled, trying to strangle Pete with his throw pillow, while William, Brendon and Ryan shook their heads sadly at their immaturity.

Fakers!!! I knew they were laughing on the inside. Ashley finally had enough and snapped, grabbing Gabe and Pete by their ears and pinching sharply to ensure that she had their attention.

"We are going home right now. You guys are unbelievable."

And now we were at Pete's house, staring blankly at the t.v. screen, watching Friday The Thirteenth.

I groaned, "Ew! Why is there so much boobage in this movie! How is this scary? Please? Anybody? Tell me?"

Gabe threw a pillow at my head, "You just don't understand the concept of a slasher film. There are three types of criteria." He held up a finger," One, there has to be lots and lots and lots of fake blood and gore. Lots!" He held up a second finger, "Two, Porn, that's with a capital P mind you, is a must! And since most viewers of slasher films are male they prefer staring at boobies rather than nasty manginas," There was a grunt of general consensus on that one and Gabe carried on proudly lifting up a third finger," And three, plot is not necessary because we, the viewers, are mostly focused on the porn and the gore. Now shuuuush!!"

I blinked, "Is it sad that that made complete sense to me?"

Ry and Billiam snorted, but wrapped their arms around me again (melts from the hotness that is Ryan and Billiam hugging me...at the same time...bsfkhbs) and snuggled closer (they're trying to kill me, I know it).

"It's okay Sinzie." Ryan comforted me then Billiam started petting my hair, "Their particular brand of crazy is contagious. You're not to blame."

Brendon snorted then turned to look at us, "Hey! Don't snuggle Sinzie!! And don't call her Sinzie it's my nickname!! I came up with it!!"

"No you didn't!" I said, staring at him weirdly.

"I so totally did. I have a certificate-Ow! Gabe you prick!! That hurt!" He screeched (it was a very manly shriek I assure you) as he rubbed the place where Gabe had elbowed him, hard.

"Shut up! I'm trying to watch the movie here!"

"You shut up!"

"I wasn't speaking!"

"You are now!"

"You're an idiot!"

"You're an idiot."

"Oh, how original. Copying what I said. That's probably why you guys are so famous, cause you copied me!"

"SHUT UP YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKERS!!! There is a chick riding a dude on the screen right at this moment and you guys are ruining the mood with all your talking!" Pete yelled, glaring at us fiercely.

Ashley came into the room at that moment, seeming like she was gonna tear us a new one when she stopped in her track and rubbed a weary hand down her face, "Pete?"

"Yes dear?"

"Why are your pants unzipped?"

All of a sudden all eyes were on Pete and his crotch. Gabe and Brendon scooted closer and pried his fingers away from his hiding position in front of his pants and then they burst out laughing, falling to the ground with barely an 'oomph' when Pete pushed them away and ran into the bathroom locking himself in.

"What do you think he's doing in there?" I asked, once all the commotion had quieted down.

Every body turned to stare at me.

Gabe came over and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, "Well you see Sin, when a man gets turned on and gets caught by his freind but doesn't want to walk around with an erection he runs into the bathroom and jerks off so it wont be so obvious after he comes out. Of course everybody will know what he's done and there will be jizz all over his pants and shirt but he will ignore that and pretend that nothing happened. Observe,"

As if he had timed it perfectly, Pete chose to come out of the bathroom right then and stopped in his tracks once he noticed everybody was staring at him with looks equal parts disgusted and amused fascination.

"What?" He asked, running a hand through his hair and getting a bit of white stuff over it.

"Ew..." I mumbled,my cheeks flushed in embarrassment for him, while everybody burst into laughter again.

This night was just not meant to be normal, was it?