Ash Ketchum And The Quest To Get A Life Already!
Chapter One: Pikachu Goes Postal
Ash grinned as he trudged through the tall grass (still wet with dew, being since it was morning) just outside his hometown, looking for Pokémon. Just like old times, he thought as his loyal Pikachu caught up to him. But his feelings of happiness quickly faded, giving way to the horrible feeling that something was wrong. Even Pikachu seemed to sense it; he (or she? Ash had given up trying to find out) looked troubled.
“Pikachu, what’s wro”- Ash let his voice trail off as a mischievous smile spread across Pikachu’s face. Ash knew that smile. It was the smile Pikachu always used when it was about to shock a Pokémon. But there weren’t any other Pokémon in sight, so…a horrible thought crossed Ash’s mind. But it couldn’t be that; Pikachu hadn’t done that since—“AAAAAAHHH!!!!! Ow, ow, ow! OW!! Uh, I think I’m okay now. Are you done, Pikachu? Good, ‘cause that really-AAAGH!!!!!!!!!!”
This, of course, was Pikachu giving his/her/its master a good jolt of electricity-and by “good” I mean painful-really painful. Still in great shock (excuse the pun), Ash staggered back into Pallet Town- but the pain he was feeling now was nothing compared to what he’d experience once he got to the Pokémon Center.
Nurse Joy looked distressed-a convincing but far from truthful mask- as she questioned Ash’s condition.
“Oh my gosh! What happened?”
“I, uh…” Ash was embarrassed to tell the truth. “Uh…”
Nurse Joy almost smiled. “You lost control of your Pokémon, didn’t you?”
“Well, no, I, uh…”
“You should always take good care of your Pokémon, Ash. Be kind to them, and”
“But I am kind to—”
“And make sure they’re in tiptop condition-not injured or anything.”
Ash was exasperated. “But it was in perfect—”
“Enough!” That was Nurse Joy. “The burns aren’t too serious, and I suppose I could patch you up…”
Ash smiled in relief.
“…but ONLY if you promise to take good care of your Pokémon from now on.”
Ash weighed his options: humor the sadistic nurse, get third-degree burns healed. NOT humor the sadistic nurse, most likely die a slow and painful death. He sighed. “Okay, fine…”
His torturer smiled innocently. “Great! Let’s get started!” She paused, and said flatly: “Oh no. I’m out of bandages. I believe I’ll have to use—” now she could barely keep the pitiless smile off her face, and the evil laugh off her mouth-“duct tape.”
Ash’s jaw dropped. Forget the burns, he thought, I gotta get out of here! But Nurse Joy had guessed his next move. “How DARE you run away from me!!” she shouted, suddenly shrouded in blazing, crackling red flames and—oh God, was that a bazooka she had in her hands? There was no hope. No hope at all.
As god-awful as this morning sounds, it was only the beginning of a downward spiral for poor Ash.
“Pikachu, what’s wro”- Ash let his voice trail off as a mischievous smile spread across Pikachu’s face. Ash knew that smile. It was the smile Pikachu always used when it was about to shock a Pokémon. But there weren’t any other Pokémon in sight, so…a horrible thought crossed Ash’s mind. But it couldn’t be that; Pikachu hadn’t done that since—“AAAAAAHHH!!!!! Ow, ow, ow! OW!! Uh, I think I’m okay now. Are you done, Pikachu? Good, ‘cause that really-AAAGH!!!!!!!!!!”
This, of course, was Pikachu giving his/her/its master a good jolt of electricity-and by “good” I mean painful-really painful. Still in great shock (excuse the pun), Ash staggered back into Pallet Town- but the pain he was feeling now was nothing compared to what he’d experience once he got to the Pokémon Center.
Nurse Joy looked distressed-a convincing but far from truthful mask- as she questioned Ash’s condition.
“Oh my gosh! What happened?”
“I, uh…” Ash was embarrassed to tell the truth. “Uh…”
Nurse Joy almost smiled. “You lost control of your Pokémon, didn’t you?”
“Well, no, I, uh…”
“You should always take good care of your Pokémon, Ash. Be kind to them, and”
“But I am kind to—”
“And make sure they’re in tiptop condition-not injured or anything.”
Ash was exasperated. “But it was in perfect—”
“Enough!” That was Nurse Joy. “The burns aren’t too serious, and I suppose I could patch you up…”
Ash smiled in relief.
“…but ONLY if you promise to take good care of your Pokémon from now on.”
Ash weighed his options: humor the sadistic nurse, get third-degree burns healed. NOT humor the sadistic nurse, most likely die a slow and painful death. He sighed. “Okay, fine…”
His torturer smiled innocently. “Great! Let’s get started!” She paused, and said flatly: “Oh no. I’m out of bandages. I believe I’ll have to use—” now she could barely keep the pitiless smile off her face, and the evil laugh off her mouth-“duct tape.”
Ash’s jaw dropped. Forget the burns, he thought, I gotta get out of here! But Nurse Joy had guessed his next move. “How DARE you run away from me!!” she shouted, suddenly shrouded in blazing, crackling red flames and—oh God, was that a bazooka she had in her hands? There was no hope. No hope at all.
As god-awful as this morning sounds, it was only the beginning of a downward spiral for poor Ash.