Ash Ketchum And The Quest To Get A Life Already!
Chapter Two...and, yeah.
For reasons he could not explain, Ash had always been plagued by the tortures of the evil Nurse Joy. Oh, sure, she was kind and loving when everyone else was around, but when nobody could protect him, she would just go crazy with the heavy weaponry!
The really irritating thing was that no matter what he did, no matter how hard he tried, nobody believed him! Well, he could sort of understand at first, being since she was so nice when everyone else was around, but after a while, come on, GET A CLUE ALREADY! Geez! Well, I know what you’re looking for. You want to learn what happened with Ash, Nurse Joy, and the bazooka.
Now, a heartfelt apology to all you diehard Ash Ketchum haters out there, but I can’t kill off Ash just yet. Now, before you all form an angry mob and run me out of town with torches and pitchforks, or tell the Pokémon people that I’m using their characters without a copyright, or contact Green Day and tell ‘em that you’ll gladly help them get revenge on me for screwing up pretty much all their songs on my guitar and one day Billie Joe Armstrong will crash through my living room window holding a giant Spicy Italian subway sandwich and I’ll have to run screaming for my life begging for mercy and maybe lock myself in the garage and using mainly plastic sporks dig a hole to the Mexican border and pay some foreign taco smuggler to smuggle me across the border along with his tacos, then hitch a ride on a Greyhound Bus to, I don’t know, Tijuana or something and befriend a burrito maker and spend the rest of my life learning the fine art of burrito making and wondering what would have happened had I not been so lucky and tell everyone I see how I met the great Billie Joe Armstrong and I show them the bump I got from being smacked on the head with his actual guitar and they’ll all run away shaking their heads and thinking how lucky they are not to have a mental disorder like me and somewhere, somewhere across the border, in California someplace I think, Billie Joe will be shaking his fist and shouting, “DANG IT!!”…oh, wait.
Got a little sidetracked there, didn’t I? Sorry about that…well, bottom line is that as a writer it would be pointless and stupid to kill Ash because that would pretty much end the story, and you don’t want THAT, do you? I know, I know, you probably do, but if you don’t like my story you can always just stop reading it or maybe you can throw it away or give it to a homeless guy on the street or stick your head in a barrel of rotten cottage cheese...FRANKLY I DO NOT GIVE A DARN what you do with this..this…unedited, typo-ridden, sounds like it could’ve been written by a mentally ill chimpanzee…STUFF…(Do you have ANY idea how hard it is to refrain from swearing here? I mean, seriously… “do not give a DARN” “…shaking his fist and shouting ‘DANG IT!!’…” it’s starting to sound real lame, don’t you think? Ah, well…just thought I’d let you know that I don’t like being corny and politically correct any more than you do, but as a G-rated author it is my job…)
Well, anyway. Back to Ash and Nurse Joy, right? Well, when it comes to Pokémon, if they show real violence the show will be cancelled, and NOBODY wants that to happen, so, luckily, Ash escapes alive in this one. BUT, he is about to have a climactic run-in with the namesake of the next chapter…Gary Oak! Or…is he? Well I’m too lazy to tell you, so just read the story already, for the love of Pete! Please? PLEEEEEZ!?!? I’ll be your friend! Really? You will? Awwww…that’s so sweet of you! I love you!
The really irritating thing was that no matter what he did, no matter how hard he tried, nobody believed him! Well, he could sort of understand at first, being since she was so nice when everyone else was around, but after a while, come on, GET A CLUE ALREADY! Geez! Well, I know what you’re looking for. You want to learn what happened with Ash, Nurse Joy, and the bazooka.
Now, a heartfelt apology to all you diehard Ash Ketchum haters out there, but I can’t kill off Ash just yet. Now, before you all form an angry mob and run me out of town with torches and pitchforks, or tell the Pokémon people that I’m using their characters without a copyright, or contact Green Day and tell ‘em that you’ll gladly help them get revenge on me for screwing up pretty much all their songs on my guitar and one day Billie Joe Armstrong will crash through my living room window holding a giant Spicy Italian subway sandwich and I’ll have to run screaming for my life begging for mercy and maybe lock myself in the garage and using mainly plastic sporks dig a hole to the Mexican border and pay some foreign taco smuggler to smuggle me across the border along with his tacos, then hitch a ride on a Greyhound Bus to, I don’t know, Tijuana or something and befriend a burrito maker and spend the rest of my life learning the fine art of burrito making and wondering what would have happened had I not been so lucky and tell everyone I see how I met the great Billie Joe Armstrong and I show them the bump I got from being smacked on the head with his actual guitar and they’ll all run away shaking their heads and thinking how lucky they are not to have a mental disorder like me and somewhere, somewhere across the border, in California someplace I think, Billie Joe will be shaking his fist and shouting, “DANG IT!!”…oh, wait.
Got a little sidetracked there, didn’t I? Sorry about that…well, bottom line is that as a writer it would be pointless and stupid to kill Ash because that would pretty much end the story, and you don’t want THAT, do you? I know, I know, you probably do, but if you don’t like my story you can always just stop reading it or maybe you can throw it away or give it to a homeless guy on the street or stick your head in a barrel of rotten cottage cheese...FRANKLY I DO NOT GIVE A DARN what you do with this..this…unedited, typo-ridden, sounds like it could’ve been written by a mentally ill chimpanzee…STUFF…(Do you have ANY idea how hard it is to refrain from swearing here? I mean, seriously… “do not give a DARN” “…shaking his fist and shouting ‘DANG IT!!’…” it’s starting to sound real lame, don’t you think? Ah, well…just thought I’d let you know that I don’t like being corny and politically correct any more than you do, but as a G-rated author it is my job…)
Well, anyway. Back to Ash and Nurse Joy, right? Well, when it comes to Pokémon, if they show real violence the show will be cancelled, and NOBODY wants that to happen, so, luckily, Ash escapes alive in this one. BUT, he is about to have a climactic run-in with the namesake of the next chapter…Gary Oak! Or…is he? Well I’m too lazy to tell you, so just read the story already, for the love of Pete! Please? PLEEEEEZ!?!? I’ll be your friend! Really? You will? Awwww…that’s so sweet of you! I love you!