This Is the World We Left for Dreamers and Believers

“Garret, get off of me! God!” I said frustrated. Over the past three days I had woken with Garret laying pretty much on top of me.

“Sorry, Bella.” He said sleepily and rolled over. His soft snores resumed seconds later. I got up and stomped into the living room not realizing it was barely eight. Everyone else was still sleeping soundly. I sighed and walked back into the room and grabbed my blanket and curled up in the chair in the living room.

“Annabelle?” John’s sleepy voice asked.

“Go back to sleep.”

“What are you doing?”

“Sleeping. Shut up.” I said harshly staring at the gray corduroy upholstery on the chair.

“Garret again?” He asked softer.

“Yes.” I heard another sigh and then his shadow passed by me, his blanket dragging on the floor.

“Take the couch.” He said over his shoulder. I smiled and curled up on the couch. When I woke up again the apartment was completely empty. I stifled a yawn and looked in the first two rooms and found no one. I was surprised to find a ball of what I supposed was John under his blanket in the last room. I backed out slowly and curled back up on the couch again. I felt a little safer knowing someone was there at least. Even if they were dead to the world. The room was barely lit when I woke up again. John was curled up in the chair I’d originally meant to sleep in.

“You finally awake?” He asked, a small laugh escaping his lips. I stretched and nodded.

“You didn’t have to stay. Thanks though.” He shrugged and walked into the kitchen.

“I only got up an hour ago.”

“So, you’ve been sitting in that chair for an hour?” He nodded.
“That’s kind of creepy.” I said sitting at the table. He laughed quietly and handed me the bottle of pink water.

“What else was I suppose to do? Everyone else went out to Jersey Island. You’re the only one here.”

“Watch TV. Get online. Tweet your weird updates. I don’t know. Anything but be weird.” I said playfully kicking him under the table.

“You act offended. You know you wanted me to watch you sleep.” I stared at him through the pink water, his features blurred.

“I’m not even sure what the hell that means. But, okay.” He laughed and made his way back to mine and Garret’s room. I sighed and leaned back in my chair.

“Hey, this is ringing.” John said walking back out and throwing me my old phone. I quickly answered it.

“Yo!”

“Quinn?! Hi!” I said jumping up and walking over to the sliding doors that led onto a balcony that overlooked the city.

“Where have you been?! I’ve been calling all day!”

“All day? I was asleep. Sorry!”

“How have they let you sleep through a ringing phone?”

“It was just me and John. We got an apartment for the week so they could record….although not much recording has been done from what I see.

“It’s just Pat. He’s doing tracking right now.” I jumped and turned to John who was leaning against the door frame of the sliding doors.

“Thanks for eavesdropping, Oh!” He stuck his tongue out at me and walked away.

“Oh?” Quinn asked.

“Long story, dear. What’s been up?”

“My parents threw me out.” He said quietly.

“Why?”

“I told them I wasn’t going to college like they had planned…..and about draining the account for a van for the band.”

“You’re moms known though?”

“Yeah. It’ll be okay though. I’m going to live my dream. How have you been?” I turned and silently closed the door.

“Not awesome. You remember how I was all ‘haha no do not want John’?”

“Yeah?”

“My out look has done a 180. Unfortunately.”

“He’s not around slash listening is he? You don’t do well around people you like.”

“Why does everyone keep saying that?! No. He’s somewhere inside.” I said sitting down in a chair at the tiny table that in the corner. Three candles decorated the glass top, an unopened umbrella threw a shadow across me.

“We keep saying that because its true, hon. You suck when you like someone. You get nervous or bitchy.”

I never got nervous or bitchy with you.

“Hey, Bella? You want to go out and get something for dinner?” John asked sticking his head out the door. I nodded.

“Quinn, I have to go. I’m going out.”

“From what I understand every time Katy brings this up you act the same way. What’s up with that?”

“Uhm. I brought it. I can end it. Only fair.” I heard an agitated sigh on the other end.

“Fine. We’ll talk later then. Bye.”

“No! Wait! New number. John got me a Iphone! Call this one next time.” I said giving him the number and rushing inside to change.

“Annabelle! Hurry up!” John yelled opening the door just as I was pulling my shirt over my head.

“Hey, John. We have pay per view if you want to see boobies.” I said grabbing my bag off the bed and pulling the door closed. He sat on the couch. His face flushed.

“I didn’t mean to. I mean I’m sorry! I should have knocked!”

“John, I was just kidding, darlin. Come on I haven’t eaten in like 24 hours. It’s almost too ridic.” I said holding the door open for me.

>>

“So, you ready for tomorrow?” John asked. I stared at him confused.

“Tomorrow is?”

“Dirk Mai shoot.” My mouth fell open. They were shooting with who?
“Yeah, he called the night we got into town and said he’d do a couple shots for fun because he’d already be around here.” He said entertained by conflicting emotions. I couldn’t decide whether I felt betrayed because they were shooting with another photographer for a day or if I was completely out of my mind with excitement.

“Oh. That’s uhm cool.” I said deciding on both. It’s Dirk Mai….have you seen that man? Damn.

“Just cool? I thought you’d be bouncing around this place.” I shrugged and pushed the food that was on my plate around.

“Eh, he’s just another photographer. John! We should go to a club! I can legally get in now so lets fucking go!” I said standing up and pulling him up with me.

“You think that’s a good idea?”

“I won’t drink! I promise!” He eyed me for a second then folded.

“Fine. But, only because I love you.”

“Yay! Come on!” I said grabbing my purse and dropping a $50 on the table.

“Our meal was like $20. Tops.” I snatched up the money and turned to pocket it just as the waitress walked up.

“Uhm. We’re leaving so…” I said handing the $20 to her. She looked at the bill.

“It’s only $14.78.”

“Cool. Uhm keep the change.” I said dragging John out the door. We settled into a calm, excited walk.

“This place looks safe enough.” John said opening the door to a place that was labeled Club Devoid. Inside the stereo pulsed out some rap song, bodies grinded against each other on the dance floor, the bar was full, and walls were covered in flyers and glow in the dark graffiti. A security guard stepped in front of us.

“18 and up.” He said sticking his hand out for our I.Ds. We handed them to him. He shined a flashlight on them both, X’ed the back of my hand and stamped it and snapped a neon yellow bracelet around John’s wrist. We got out of earshot before I jerked John down.

“You aren’t 21!”

“Fake I.D. Plus, I’ll be 21 in two weeks.” I rolled my eyes and jumped onto the dance floor. John awkwardly sat at a table. Guess he was nothing without the guys….or a few drinks. We were both downing free shots an hour later. He was talking to some cheap blonde by the time I had walked away and joined the cute, dark haired guy who had been watching me since we’d walked in. I’d only drank three shots, enough to buzz me up a little. The guys name was Kaleb. Kaleb was a smooth talking, 23 year old who was going to the Art Instuite near by. He was a fast mover and had his lips pressed against mine an hour after we had met, his arms wrapped around my waist and pushed me against the wall. He was jerked away seconds later and strong fingers wrapped around my wrist. I didn’t have to look up to know who was dragging me away. He threw my purse at me continued dragging me out of the club. The blonde yelled something about call me. The chill air sobered me up a little.

“Partying with you is next to impossible.” John said slowing down and releasing me.

“It was harmless fun. You had Barbie back there to entertain you. Why ruin a good time?”

“Because we’re in New York. We were in a dirty, dark club. You were pressed against a dirty wall with some guy you knew what three things about. This is the real world, Annabelle. What you do has consequences.”

“Thanks Dad.” I muttered following him. We were back at the apartment faster than I had realized. The others had already returned.

“You two have fun?” Kennedy asked winking. I rolled my eyes.

“Until about 30 minutes ago. Hella lot.” I said walking into the room and grabbing my pajamas and stomping into the bathroom. Everyone had settled into their beds when I got out of the shower. John was back on the couch. His back turned to me. I sighed knowing the small respect I’d earned back from him was demolished again that night. I was back to square one and more hopeless than before.