Do It By Hand

This time I woke up in Conor’s bed, in his house, I don’t completely remember how I got there. I just remember being picked up by him the night before at my house. Which also put me in a state of panic, I looked around for a window. Glancing seeing that it was still dark outside, I turned over still in Conor’s arms looking for a clock on a nightstand. I sighed relief seeing that it was only 1:30 in the morning, that also made me realize we apparently didn’t waste much time. I grinned to myself as he in his sleep pulled me closer. I decided to use my internal clock, and lay there for about 45 minutes. My parents don’t mind me coming home at 2:00 or even later than that, but just not coming home at all would be a problem. But since it was still early in their minds, I laid there awake. Memorizing the feel of Conor’s body around mine, the warmth of it. I knew he’d be off working on some random project soon, and I wouldn’t be able to go with him. He’d probably find some other muse, and I’d rather start moving on now than being heartbroken going into my last 2 years of college. I sighed again, a heavier sigh. I was starting to over analyze again, it’s what I do with most relationships. But normally I over analyze before there’s even a true relationship present. Then I decide that the guy isn’t worth my time, I suppose I should do that with Conor. But I also know it wouldn’t be easy, and when it did happen it would be on his time.

“Do you need to go?” he murmured. I assumed my thinking made him wake up.

“I probably should.” I yawned.

“Next time you should say you’re staying the night at a friends house.” He said sitting up and reaching to turn on the lamp.

“Why?”

“Seriously?”

“What?” I said sitting up wrapping the sheet around myself.

“You’ve never told your parents you were staying somewhere where you weren’t?” he asked raising an eyebrow.

“I most certainly have not, and I don’t intend on doing so anytime soon.” I said sternly.

“Everyone lies to their parents. I do, and I’m almost 30.”

“Yeah well, I’m not everyone.” I said folding my arms over my chest. “Besides, my parents trust me. I’ve never had a curfew.”

“Really?” he asked looking genuinely surprised.

“Nope.” I said triumphantly.

“You’re just naturally a good kid.” He laughed.

“Yes, and darn proud of it.” I stretched glancing at the clock, it was 2:00, I got up grabbing my dress and slipping it on.

“Maybe some of your goodness with rub off on me.” He said getting up and pulling on some jeans.

“Probably, I am known to change people.” I grinned sliding into my shoes, as he walked towards me.

“ I bet you are.” He smirked kissing me on the cheek, and grabbing my hand as we walked towards the front door to leave. Somehow my gloomy thoughts had disappeared, and I was no longer trying to analyze his actions.
----------------------------

I was sitting in my written theory class, and for once was truly paying attention. I understood how to compose a German augmented sixth chord. I was amazed at my focus, so was my friend since high school and classmate Ashley.

“I’m more surprised that you came to class today.” She said quietly with a smirk on her face. She normally would catch me up on homework and take-home quizzes I neglected to turn in. Some times she’d be just as lazy as I was and would have me just copy off hers.

“Are we going to lunch today?” she laughed as I continued to have musical epiphanies.

“Yeah, can you drive?” I said writing my name on my paper and handing it to our teacher who also looked at me surprised. Ashley nodded while handing hers in as well as I collected my things; she started to do the same. Our other lunch friend had previously warned us he would be preoccupied at our normal lunchtime. So it was just going to be her and me, and I knew either Gordan had told her something. Or she was just going to assume something; I was hoping she was just going to assume something. As soon as we got in her car, I realized she had more than just assumed.

“Spill.” She stated as she started the ignition.

“I went to Mexico for spring break.” I stated grinning.

“Well that’s obvious by your Nubian goddess glow, now explain the other glow.” She chuckled.

“You’ve heard of Conor Oberst right?”

“Yeah, I have his newest album. I wasn’t really a fan of Bright Eyes.” She shrugged and began searching for something on her iPod to play.

“Well I went with him.”

“Like you didn’t meet him while you were there. You were there with him?” she asked glancing at me.

“Yes.”

“I said spill! That means tell me everything not half ass it with bits and pieces.” I looked at her startled. She just looked at me,

“I’m sorry, I just know something wonderful happened. And I would like to know.” She laughed. I began to tell her everything of how I met him, and how we started going out. I told her how he invited Gordan and I to Mexico, and how Gordan conveniently had to work. I told her how I trusted him, and wasn’t sad about it.

“That explains your glow.” She said as we sat down in Panera waiting for our food.

“I suppose, I was with him Saturday as well.” I grinned.

“I’m surprised that you… you know… did it with him.” She said bashfully. I just laughed; sadly I call it that to. At 20 years old, we’ve yet to overcome our awkwardness when speaking of sex.

“I was too. But when I’m with him, and we’re just talking I understand why.”

“He is kind of cute, in a indie brilliant musician kind of way.” She laughed, the waiter brought our food to us. He smiled at Ashley,

“You know him?” I asked, as she seemed oblivious, and digging into her bread bowl.

“I eat here a lot.” She shrugged.

“Well anyway, that’s the story.” I smiled slurping on my soup.

“You like him don’t you?”

“Ye-“ I was cut off by my phone ringing, and it was Conor.

“Hello there.” I grinned, Ashley giggled.

“Hey, how’s your day been?”

“Decent, just 2 classes left.” I said stirring my soup around.

“Where are you now then?” I heard a car engine in the background.

“Eating lunch with a friend.” I said around some bread.

“You think you’ll be free for dinner then?”

“I suppose.” I mock sounded bothered.

“Oh, well excuse me.” He said with a chuckle.

“I get done at 4:00.”

“That is late, what class is this?”

“It’s a rehearsal.”

“Figures, well have a nice lunch with your friend. And I’ll call you around 5:00.”

“You do that.” I laughed as I hung up.

“Wow, you really like him.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re even smiling more than you were before.” She chuckled.

“I can’t help it.” It made me wonder if Conor’s friends were saying the same thing about him when they were out. It also began my analysis of our relationship again. I just needed to not let it cloud over my mind, which was easier said than done.