Hate That I Love You

Bryan and I were sitting between Omar and Robert, who were patiently tapping their fingers against the porcelain table. They must have been quite surprised to find us the way they did, I admit, I was humiliated.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

I had my head resting on my arms, which were crossed and placed in front of me on the table. Robert tapped my shoulder. I glanced up, not actually moving my head, just tilting it so that I could visualize Robert.

“Why?...” he asked again, tapping his fingers harder.

I glanced over at Omar, who had his head down. Then at Bryan who was glancing at Omar as well.

“I….” I started but Bryan cut in.

“I don’t think we have to explain ourselves…” He proudly got up and marched away, slamming the bus door shut on his way in.

“Great… a pissed off Bryan.”

Omar glanced down at his watch.

“Hey, I better go get him… our show starts in a few minutes.” Omar chased after Bryan, leaving Robert and I to sit alone.

“Why didn’t you tell us? Ronnie and Max still don’t know…” Robert whispered

“Do you really care…honestly?”

“No…I don’t. But-”

“Precisely. Now get off my back about it, please?”

I got up and walked towards the stadium, where the guys were to play. Ronnie and Max said that I wasn’t to be used for this gig for it was too big and by the time the huys got out there, their hair would be a mess.

So I took there advice.

Now, I was just a spare dick, I had nothing to do, and no one to hang out with once the guys were up on that stage. I stood behind the stage, just out of the view of the fans but close enough to see the band, from behind.

Two unfamiliar girls were chattering behind me, their high voices rang in my ears, circulating like the blood that flowed through them. I slightly turned, and in the corner of my eye I could see who they were. One girl stood tall, on stilettos, while the other wore flats. The stiletto girl had long brown hair that ran into a light blonde at the tips. Her make up was smudged around her eyes and her dark clothes were wrapped tightly around her small frame. Her friend was a lot smaller than her and had blackish hair, she didn’t wear a lot of make up but she had a funny thing about her, about the way she talked and moved.

“Excuse me?”

I turned to face them; the taller girl slowly approached me, trying to keep her balance in her ‘neck-breaking’ shoes.

“Can you tell me where to lounge is?”

I nodded and pointed down the hall behind them. They turned to see where I was pointing at before nodding back and leaving me.

Who the hell were they?

I turned back to face the stage. The band had finished the last song and had began a new song. The band crazily jumped to the beat, with the occasional crowd surfer who was chucked to and fro like a rag doll.

The band satisfied the crowd, the loud cheers and uncontrollable screams signified the crowd’s pleasure.

Ronnie and Max greeted me first, their dark hair hung in their faces, drenched with sweat. Next was Omar who gave me a little handshake and a wink, followed closely by Robert who decided not to acknowledge me, then Bryan.

“Hey!” he stripped himself of his guitar, placing it by the stage, and then picked me up off my feet.

“Put me down please?” I asked, hitting his arms that stabilized me in the air.

“Ouch, okay…” he put my down. Once my feet were back on solid ground, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him into a kiss.

“Mmm…what was that for?” he asked, wrapping his arms around my waist and walking us both towards the bus.

“For being you…” I smiled sweetly.

Robert stood at the front on the bus, Ronnie was kneeling next to him watching the bus driver fix the bus. He glanced over at us and shook his head negatively. Bryan flipped him off and pushed me onto the bus.

“Hey Guys!” Omar approached us and wrapped an arm around each of us.

“You realize Robert couldn’t keep his mouth shut…”

“Yeah Robert, we realize…” Bryan mocked, pointing at Max who was purposely whistling at Bryan and me.

“Sorry, I couldn’t shut him up.” Omar blushed, releasing us and returning to his previous actions, which were retrieving a cigarette for Ronnie.

“Ronnie!!!”

Bryan had gone off with the boys, well, Ronnie, Robert and Omar. They had wandered off the find the stage technician, Bryan’s brother Mike. I hadn’t heard much about Mike, I couldn’t even tell if I had seen him. I most probably had. Max was happily reading his girlie magazine, which he had thrown at him from the crowd. I crept up behind him, my feet barely moving along the carpet.

“He likes you too much…” Max spoke, not turning to me, he obviously knew I was there.

“Dammit! How did you?”

“Doesn’t he?”

I paused; I wasn’t too sure how to answer that.

“You cant love someone too much? Robert told you, didn’t he?”

“Yes… If he hurts you in anyway, you must tell.” Max warned, facing me this time. His eyes showed a deep seriousness

“If he hurts me… What do you mean?”

“Bryan…he… He is a very high maintenance guy, he needs someone near him all the time, and if your not there, what do you think is going to happen?”

I lowered me eyes, I knew what he was suggesting. My eyes fell on my lonely feet, they resembled Bryan, they always needed someone next to them, not that they didn’t always have each other. They seemed lonely, this made me think whether I wanted to be like my feet, and constantly be with my partner, or leave him before he hurt me.

“I’m sure it may be different for you…”

I lifted my eyes back up to meet Max’s.

“What if…I hurt him?”

“You wont, I saw, before I even knew your name, that you and Bryan liked each other, it was all over his face…and yours, I just hope that it doesn’t all end with a bang.” Max rolled his eyes and got up to walk away.

Maybe we should stay friends?

Was I getting cold feet?

I watched Max walk away, then turned back to the table. I whipped out my art book and pencil case from under it. They had been laying there since I got in the van at Las Vegas. I scribbled a little on the page that I opened up to. Letting my emotions spill out onto the page, letting them smudge across my hand as I accidentally placed my hand over the drawn pictures to draw more. I was left handed. So left handers know what I’m talking about. Tears spilled down my face. My hands started to ache under the pressure of holding the pencil so tight. I got frustrated and threw it across the van, watching it collide and slide down the window to fall behind the bus door. I placed my head in my hands. The tears coated my palms in a light covering of water.

“What’s wrong?” Came a female voice from the door.

I looked up, and came to meet eyes with one of the women I had met earlier, who had asked me for directions to the lounge. Her long brown hair stood out, how could I forget the blonde ends? Her make up was still smudged. Her stilettos were digging onto her heels, so much that, I could see the indentation marks.

“Who are you?” I wiped away a tear from my eye, preventing it from joining the river that was pouring down my face.

“I am….Bryans girlfriend…”

Excuse me?

…………Bryan’s what?

Oh man, was I in trouble…

….or was I in trouble?