Hate That I Love You

“Bryan?” Mike coughed, rubbing the back of his hand against his forehead, watching us through slanted eyes. Bryan crept up to the bed, his legs wobbling like jelly as he walked past us. Nikki and Omar stood beside me their eyes wide, and their noises quite.

“Mike?” Bryan choked back tears. He glanced back at me, trying to find some form of permission from me to do something. He just nodded and turned back to Mike. I looked over at Omar and Nikki, who in turn were looking weirdly at each other, before staring as Ronnie and Robert entered. Mike pushed himself deeper into the bed, trying to hide himself from the surrounding strangers.

“Bryan? Where am I?” he asked innocently, grasping Bryan’s hand within his. Bryan glared back at me, tilting his head to the side and moving away from Mike, his hands flying up to his head as he violently walked backwards into the wall.

“Bryan?!” I called, racing to his side as he collapsed onto the floor. Everyone in the room gasped and moaned, but didn’t move to aid Bryan.

“This isn’t Mike…Mike knows everyone.. this… thing.. doesn’t know you… or Ronnie.. or Robert.. or.. or”

“Bryan… shhh” I hushed him, rubbing my hand through his lightly shaded hair. I turned to Ronnie and the other, nodded lightly to signal that I wanted some time with Bryan. They all left silently, the door snapping shut after them.

“Bryan! Bryan!?” Mike cooed, trying to rise from is bed to look down at the two beings together on the lino floor.

“He doesn’t even remember Alex..” Bryan sobbed, burying his head in his hands. The room fell silent. I looked up to Mike, who looked as though he was ready to say something really intelligent.

“What happened to Alex? She was in the car with me… Wasn’t she?” he asked, tilting his head to the side, understanding.

“You remember Alex?” I arose, slowly walking away from Bryan, who had quieted down and his sobs were slowing down.

“ I… Love Her?” he asked, leaning back into the bed. His hands reached out to grasp mine, tugging me closer to his figure.

“Where is she?” he whispered into my ear, his warm breath crept along the hairs of my ear, sending shivers up my spine.

“She’s in hospital too.. just down the hall.” I pointed out, winking at Mike as I pulled away from him. Bryan was now on his feet and walking over to us.

“When can I see her?” Mike asked, looking over at Bryan who was standing directly behind me. I felt his arms snake around my waist, and his face was buried into my left shoulder blade, kissing it lightly.

“Maybe? You might have to ask… im sure you will be able too.” I pushed my hands under Bryans arms, delicately brushing along them.

“Can I tell you something?” Mike beckoned me closer to him. His slender finger signalled me closer.

“What?”

“I heard him… everytime he spoke.” Mike giggled, his chest rising with his intakes. At least his vital signs were looking better. Even the colour in his face was a better-looking colour. His slender body had finally gained enough energy to make small moves, but he hadn’t yet gained his entire movement. His arms and legs were still immobile to him.

“What did he say?” I asked, playing along with his joke.

“He said quite a bit about you.”

Bryan was zoned out, and he was mumbling little thing into my shoulder blade, kissing it after every sentence. So he wasn’t listening to what we were saying about him, thank god.

“What did he say?” I asked, getting hooked into the conversation.

“Oh.. nothing much.” Mike teased, looking at me through slinted eyes and a smile.

“Don’t tease..”

“Alright… im pretty sure he said that… he was lucky to have such a girl like you, but he felt that he wasn’t treat you as well as your deserved, he was getting quite personal about things like that. But what could I say? I couldn’t even look at him..” Mike laughed, hitting the sheets on the bed with his hands as he laughed. Obviously it was a joke, yet I didn’t see the funny side to it. But that was me, I never laughed at jokes, it would have to be a really, really funny one if I was to laugh at it.

“Yeah.. that’s real funny..” I sighed, rolling my eyes. I glared over my shoulder at Bryan, who was still leaning on my shoulder and his arms were still around my waist.

“Bryan?”

He shuffled around a bit and mumbled.

“Mmm?”

“Lets go and see if Mike can see his Beloved?” I smirked, glancing down at Mike as he blushed. His face turned 3 different shades of red. I slightly giggled to myself. Bryan removed himself from behind me and stood next to me, standing over Mike.

“Whats so funny?”

“Oh nothing Bryan… Lets go find a nurse.” I smirked, tugging lightly on his hand to follow me. He followed obediently.

“How is he?”

Bryan and I were hoarded with questions as we left the room. I glanced around, and realisation hit me. Were we down a man. I counted, and recounted, and recounted again. And for sure, we were missing a bassist.

“Where’s Max?” I asked, glaring around the waiting room, watching the busy bodies whiz around the room, carrying forms of technology and papers.

“He..? I think he…” Nikki paused, glancing down to think

“Alex!, he went to see Alex.” Omar smiled, tapping his nose lightly.

“What for?” Bryan retorted, pulling back once he realised how harsh his voice sounded. He quickly apologised for the boom.

“To talk? I suppose.. Unless?” Omar hummed, rubbing his fingers under his chin and lifting his eyes seductively.

“No Omar…. I doubt that Max is like that..” Bryan laughed, starting to walk his way to Alex’s room. I turned to watch him go.

“Where are you going?”

“To find Alex? Like we were supposed to?” Bryan called, still walking away.

“You Dope, we have to find a nurse first..” I giggled. “We have to get permission to move Mike around.”

Bryan stopped in his tracks, turning around and grinning at me stupidly.

“Good thing your intelligent.”

“Oh, I see you have a visitor, I was hoping to speak with you in private.” The nurses head peeked around from the gap in the doorway. She gave a little smile at Max.

“I’ll go… women’s business is best left to women..” Max laughed, getting up from his seat.

Alex’s hand shot out, stopping hin from getting away.

“Please stay..” she begged.

Max paused, tilting his head to the side, before nodding happily and taking his seat again.

“Well… okay then..” The nurse agreed, coming in further into the room and closing the door behind her. “It would have been better without him, but oh well. You may need some form of comfort, right?” Max’s blood boiled over. The nurse was obviously trying to make attacks at Max, attempting to scare him away. Max just shrugged off her attemps and looked at Alex.

“What is it Nurse?” alex smiled, waiting paitently for the nurses answer. Her hands were uncontroallably shaking within Max’s hand, which had embraced hers once he sat down, reaching her for some support.

“How are you feeling?” the nurse moved her eyes to the ground, making limited eye contact with them.

“You wanted to Rid of Max for this?” Alex fumed, throwing her hands against the bed, hard.

“No, Alex… During the crash, the engine of the car came in through the front of the car, onto your lap…” The nurse paused “And your lower stomache was penetrated, luckily… your vital organs weren’t hit.”

Alex paused.. moving her free hand over her stomach, lightly feeling the bandages covering the wounds. Alex gasped.

“Then what is up?” she asked, taking her hands away from her stomache, grasping Max’s hand again.

“Well.. your womb was penetrated.. and.”

Max paused, shivers sending up his spine. He let go of Alex’s hand and glared at her sadly, he didn’t quite know what was going to happen next, he only hoped it would be better than what he was thinking. Alex shrugged.

“And?...”

“And… there is evidence that you had a developing embryo…” The nurse looked up at Alex. Alex stared back, unable to say a word. The nurse walked around the bed, and around Max, towards a small white box on the wall. She flicked a switch next to the box and the box flashed a bright white light, and the light enveloped the entire box, giving the room a slight glow. The nurse pulled put a big yellow slip-envelope, and from that envelope she pulled out two dark slips of laminex and placed them up against the white light of the box. Max turned around in his seat, letting Alex’s hand fall to the side of the bed. His eyes were set firmly on the faint shape of a small human. Tears sprung behind his eyes as his attention slowly followed the shape of the small human, from its unformed legs to its stumpy arms and to its small head. The nurse turned back to Alex, clearly seeing her distress.

“You were pregnant… at least 3 months pregnant.” The nurse corrected herself, turning back and returning the dark slips into the yellow envelope and turning off the light. Max’s eyes fell to the ground, he hadn’t the courage to turn and face Alex, only to see her distress. He silently heard Alex’s try to choke back tears, her snivelling and coughing gave her away. Max’s heart sank as he heard her break out into tears. His heart slowly crept into his entrails, following the journey of his food, uncomfortably. In the distance, he heard the whispers of a nurse leading two heavy-footed individuals up the hall. As they got closer he recognised one voice, the only voice there was.

Bryan’s

“How is she? Can Mike see her?”

The three of them burst into the room, silence enveloping them as soon as they saw the state of Alex, and the fact that Max was faced away from her didn’t help the situation. None of them attempted to walk into the room. I glanced over at Max, his head was dipped and little tears fell from his eyes, silently hitting the floor below him. Alex was a mess, her eyes obtained a red ring around them. I turned to the nurse. Even she looked dull. I couldn’t get my head around it.

“Guys? Wanna fill us in?”

The nurse just shook her head and pushed past us rudely, whatever it was must have been pretty emotional to upset a nurse. I glanced over at Max again who was still hunched over his chair, his head hadn’t moved an inch.

“Max?” Bryan quietly asked, slowly approaching him. Max shuffled a little in his seat and sat up properly.

“What is wrong? Mike wants to see Alex..” Bryan chirped, patting the back of Max’s neck, obvious to the mood that was flooding around the room.

“That wouldn’t be such a good thing right now… just… lets give her some space.” Max pushed Bryan away delicately. Bryan looked over at me weirdly, shrugging off the thought.

“Max? What is wrong?” I asked, violently walking over to him and pushing him back into his seat. His weight almost pulled him backwards off the chair.

“Not here Rory… Can’t you see she is stressed!?” Max yelled, standing up in front of me.

“When have you cared? Why are you here? She is MY friend?” I retorted bitterely, finding my own form of defence.

“While you are out there caring about your fuck-buddies brother your ‘Friend’ is sitting by herself… shows how much you care?” Max spat, standing back, realising he had gone a bit far.

“Well what are you here for? To get into her pants? To be the good little boy? And help the weak?”

“Rory.. Stop..” Bryan pulled at my arms, trying to heave me back to him.

“At least I cared!!” Max howled, throwing his arms around dramatically.

“Only cared about getting in her pants!” I yelled back, kicking to get at him.

“Rory… Max.. Back off, you are just fueling her, give up, she wont back down.. just drop it.” Bryan called to him. Max nodded and returned to his chair, ignoring my abusive comments.

“Asshole..” I murmured, walking to the other side of Alex’s bed, attempting to keep my distance from the jerk on the other side.

“Now, lets start again… what is wrong?” Bryan quietly asked, restoring peace, or trying to.

“Alex was pregnant..”

During all this, Alex had gone quiet, she was blankly staring at the wall, not paying attention to what was going on around her, he was self-absorbed into her small bubble of hate and guilt. She mumbled to herself, only small comments on how stupid she was. I glared at her, her features were drenched in her makeup, and her skin was lightly stretched across the bones of her face, symbolising that she hospital hadn’t been feeding her as well as she should had been. Her small mouth was constantly moving, and muttering words. I turned back to Max, giving him ugly glares as I did.

“She was what?” Bryan cried out, pacing backwards and forwards in the room.

“Yeah…” Max murmured, dipping his head again.

“Alex was pregnant?” I asked, standing up. “How do we tell Mike?”