Detox Just to Retox

Sirens blared as doctors sped through the halls, weaving gunshot victims and cancer patients through hospital traffic. Nurses wheeled morphine drips past families and friends, into rooms of the young and the old, the conscious and the comatose. Even as a first year student doctor stitched up the two-inch gash on his forehead, Alex couldn't help but laugh at his sister's incessant worrying over the phone.

"I'm fine, Summer. I promise. It's just a little blood, some scabbing, it's not a big deal." He winced as the young girl tugged a little too tightly on the thread.

"Sorry," she sputtered, her eyes darting away from his nervously.

"It's fine." A rapid surge of babbling seeped through the speaker of his phone and he sighed. "I was talking to the doctor, Sum. Look, I'll be done in about fifteen minutes," he said, only continuing once the first year had nodded, "so you can come pick me up at the front when your set is done. I love you, tell the guys I can't wait to kick their asses at Guitar Hero and I'll see you soon. Bye."

Alex flipped the phone shut and gripped the leather beneath him as the stitch was knotted. The anaesthesia was wearing off and a vague pinch was turning into a sharp stab. The young girl took notice.

"Was that your girlfriend?"

It took everything in him not to squeal as she tightened the knot and snipped the thread. "Little sister."

She smiled and set the needle down on the tray. Peeling the gloves off her hands, she tapped his knee, waiting for his eyes to open. When they did, she smiled again and handed him a lollipop. "I've only stitched up a couple dozen patients, but you were by far, the best behaved of the bunch."

He took the candy and stuck it in his mouth as he got back to his feet. "My parents always said I was a good kid. I just thought they were being self-righteous." He grabbed his hoodie and thanked her before heading towards the door.

"Wait."

Alex stopped in his tracks and spun around, watching the girl with inquisitive eyes.

"The gash," she said simply, pointing to his forehead, "uh, how'd you get it?"

His lips stretched into a frolicsome smile as he scratched the back of his head. "Fell off a stage."

The mischievous boy wiped his tired eyes and nodded before turning back on his heel and walking away. It took all of a single second for the young doctor's eyes to widen as she watched the mysterious subject leave the room.

Alex glanced at his watch and sighed. Not only had he grossly overestimated his stay, but he also hadn't realized that their set was nearly an hour away from being over. Factor in the traffic from the venue to the hospital and he was looking at a good two hours before he was well on his way home. A grumble in his stomach sent him on a mission to the cafeteria. After getting lost repeatedly and walking in on a prostate exam, the embarrassed youth found what he was looking for and quickly walked into the room.

It was barren, with simple white walls and simple round plastic tables. Six foldable metal chairs encircled each table, spaced out in a meticulous fashion. Alex found himself wandering around the cafeteria, completely ignorant of the fact that he wasn't the only there. Once he reached the windows, he noticed a body, curled up on a battered old armchair.

Ripped denim and an oversized hoodie hid a body no bigger than that of a gawky teenager, with tangles of dark brown hair veiling fixated eyes. Compelled by his curiosity and loss of hunger, Alex walked over to the individual, so entranced by the book in their fragile hands.

"Hey."

Almost immediately, the figure's hand, which was in the middle of flipping to the following page, paused and rested on top of the book. The hood of the sweater dipped ever so slowly as they proceeded to turn. He smiled as he saw a young woman with big blue eyes staring back up at him.

"Hey," he said again.

"Hi."

Alex's eyes wandered to the mutilated paperback in her hands. He focused on one line and read it aloud.

"Even now I'm not really sure which parts of myself are real and which parts are things I've gotten from books." He looked at the girl endearingly and smiled gently. "Somehow, I think I can relate to Alice."

"You've read it?" Her voice was inquisitive and shy, as if he'd said just the right thing to get her interested.

He nodded. "A million times over. I could probably recite it to you off by heart."

She chuckled, a sweet little smile adding a glow of gentility to her face. Her eyes crinkled ever so slightly, as if mischief and wisdom was hidden in those beautiful pools of indigo. Alex's grin broadened.

"Your copy looks pretty old. How long have you had it?"

"Since I was thirteen. It was a gift from my grandma." She swallowed hard. "It, uh, belonged to my grandpa. It was one of his favourites and he'd never let me read it when I was younger. He always promised I'd get it when I was old enough." She bit her lip, fighting back tears. "I guess after he died, she realized it was the right time."

Alex's brown eyes glistened with sympathy and wonder. He could relate to pain, but hers was so much more mesmerizing, so much more shocking than his own. Her words were drenched with such melancholy; it was hard to see how she got through the day without falling apart. He watched as her ivory fingers traced imaginary lines over the front cover, fingering its curling edges, caressing its distressed spine. He knew she took good care of it, and based on what he could tell, probably more so than herself. Her lip trembled and without hesitation, he sat down beside her.

"What's your name?" he whispered, hoping to calm her down.

Her eyes shone with a fresh glaze of tears only moments away from staining her flustered cheeks. "It's Mackenzie."

"I'm Alex." He held out his hand for a moment, waiting for her to take it. She hesitated, but reached out, feeling the coarseness of his hands against her smooth skin. "It's nice to meet you, Mackenzie." He laid his hand in his lap and paused as he watched her stare at her own. She examined it, not noticing that his eyes were on her. "Why are you here?" he asked. She looked up. "Are you visiting family, or a friend?"

Mackenzie's eyes grew wide and full of fear. It took everything in him not to get back to his feet and run away. Instead, he found himself trying to prevent a panic attack. Her breathing quickened as her palms began to dampen and Alex soon found himself lost in a sea of fear. As he called out for help, two hands grabbed at the collar of his shirt, yanking him down. Their noses brushed and he slid his hands over hers as she let out a stammered hum. "They're after me."

Before he had a chance to say anything, two nurses ran in with a doctor following in tow. The women pinned the girl down to the armchair as she kicked and screamed with Alex left standing there, feeling frightened, confused and shocked at the fact that nobody was stopping to stare. He then realized that this was normal in a hospital, to hear outbursts and arguments from patients and patrons alike. Alex stared as the older gentleman yanked up her pant leg and pierced her skin with a needle. He hadn't even seen it coming, and instead of either of them screaming, from shock or from pain, they both just stared at each other, their hearts pounding in their chests.

"There now, Mackenzie," the doctor said, rolling her pant leg back down. He patted her knee as he watched her eyes droop. "It's alright, sweetheart. Janice and Laura will take you to your room now."

The nurses hooked their arms under Mackenzie's and lifted her out of the chair, dragging her to her room. Alex didn't dare move as the doctor got to his feet. He looked over at the boy, who stood frozen beside him. "Can I help you, son?"

Alex looked over at him, studying the man's cool gray eyes with fervour. "I - I just -" He shook his head. "No. No, thank you."

The doctor smiled and nodded vaguely. "It's just standard procedure. She'll be fine." He went to leave but paused. He looked at Alex with curiosity. "How do you know Mackenzie, son?"

"I was here getting stitches and while I was waiting for my friends to come pick me up, I decided to get a snack. I wandered in here and she was alone, so I figured I'd talk to her." He took a deep breath before sitting down on the armchair. "I didn't know she was a patient. She didn't have time to tell me before she started to panic."

Bemused, he smiled at the young man. "Nobody's blaming you, boy, I promise. She just hasn't had visitors in a really long time." Alex looked away, his hand covering his mouth. "Don't worry. You didn't cause this. If anything, you kept her from becoming worse. This definitely isn't what you'd call an episode for Mackenzie." The doctor patted his shoulder reassuringly before leaving the cafeteria.

He stopped at the sound of Alex's voice. He caught the doctor's glance as he turned to face him. "She said 'they're after me'. Right when I called, she told me that. Who was she talking about?"

The man stuffed his hands into his pockets. "Mackenzie thinks everyone is after her, son, from the janitor to the candy stripers. She's a very distressed young woman." He sighed. "She suffers from paranoia." When Alex didn't answer, the doctor stared at the ground and took it as his cue to leave, hoping to God he hadn't scared the poor kid.

Alex sat there, frozen. This wasn't what he'd expected while he was being driven in the ambulance. This wasn't what they'd said would happen. He thought it would be an in-and-out job, a done deal. Give him a sedative, sew up the cut, and leave, but things seemed to have taken a little detour.

Alex sighed and ran his hands through his hair, his eyes shut and faced to the floor. Mackenzie's face flashed through his mind; her blue eyes, shining in the fluorescence of the lighting, the crease at the corner of her eyes when she had smiled at him. Then, in a split second, it had all vanished. She had begun to shake violently, to panic. She had become hysterical and he had watched. He remembered the moment the doctor had injected her. The brilliance in her eyes faded, as if the life had bled right out of her. He wondered how she lived like that, or if she even knew what was going on. Alex couldn't fathom it.

He opened his eyes and stared at the floor. Reaching down, he traced his fingers along the cover of the tattered novel. Hesitant, he picked it up carefully and watched as the light shone against the paper. The smell of pipe tobacco filled the room as he flipped through the pages, letting the story begin and end when he chose. Alex was lost in his thoughts, practically disconnected from reality, when the band walked into the cafeteria.

"Alex?" Summer rushed over to him when he didn't answer. "Alex?" She knelt in front of his face and a sigh of relief escaped her lips as he looked up at her. "Thank God. We were worried about you." She wrapped her arms around him. "When we didn't see you in the waiting room, we got so scared."

"More like you got so scared," Zack interjected, teasingly.

Her head whipped around and she shot him a disapproving look. "Not funny, freak." She turned her attention back to Alex and laughed when she saw his cut. "Who knew that you'd have to fall off a million stages before you got stitches? Alright, c'mon, Superman, let's go."

Jack, Rian and Zack walked over and helped Alex up as he stared at the book in his hands.

"Thanks," he murmured, walking ahead of them.

Jack nudged Summer as they followed him out of the hospital. "Don't take this the wrong way, Sum, but I think your brother's losing it."

She smacked him for the insult then grabbed Alex's arm, leading him through the automatic doors. All the while, his tired eyes were locked on the cover of the book in his hands.

As Rian pulled out of the parking spot and into traffic, Alex could feel his neck crane back and force him to look at the doors, waiting for a girl that would never show.