The Hardest Part of Today is a Hangover.

My days seemed to drag on like years and my stomach seemed to stretch like saran wrap over a large bowl full of leftovers. It was getting to me emotionally and physically. Erin pointed out the bags under my eyes, Caitlin pointed out my rugged look. Everything seemed to just go to shit in those few weeks without him, and it made me wonder how I looked those three months when I was completely alienated from him.

I sighed and put my bowl of cereal in the sink, walking towards my room. I didn’t even think about it until I caught the mirror in the corner of my eye. I wasn’t sure what to say at first – I mean, I knew I was going to get big, but this? Ew!

I sighed and poked it.

“What the fuck?” I asked myself, my baby kicking at my abdomen like a bull ramming at a rodeo clown.
“Ouch, Baby!” I yelled. “Don’t kick mommy, it hurts!”

I sighed, turning to look at myself in the mirror, and placed my hands on my stomach. All I could think about was how much this move had effected my life; I no longer kept in contact with my family, I was pregnant, I had slept with 10+ men since I’d been here, I did drugs, and nearly drank my life away. But I was learning – learning that nothing could stop me from something I wanted dearly. It was a lesson I needed to learn, but the outcome made goose bumps appear on my arms.

Hotel California was blaring from my phone when I walked in my room, and I instantly knew who it was; my mom. I hadn’t talked to her in a week and a half – oh, how I missed her.

“Hey mommy,” I answered, a smile on my face.

“Oh, Belle – I missed your voice. How have you been?”

I felt awful that I hadn’t kept her posted with all the information and that I hadn’t even really kept in contact with her. The last thing she heard from me was that I’d gotten over the flu two weeks passed and I was fine, but what if something had gone wrong? She’d be completely oblivious. And I knew she wanted to know; I felt so guilty for that.

“I’ve been great, Mom; haven’t been getting that much sleep these past three weeks, though. He’s moving around a lot in there, and he likes to kick. Especially if he’s facing my bladder,” I sighed, rubbing my large belly.

“That happens a lot in the six month of pregnancy. You’ll be alright, Annabelle; you’re strong,” she said softly, soothing me immensely.

If there was anyone that could soothe me, it would be her.

I could help but smile. “Thank you, Mom.” I sighed, sitting down, then I thought of something. “Are you planning on coming up here when it’s closer to his due date?”

I could practically sense her smile through the phone. The excitement was evident in her voice.

“Of course I am! Hopefully your stepfather will be gone by then,” she mumbled, her voice laced with annoyance and impatience. “When are you do?”

“Mid-March,” I managed to sigh out, quivering at the thought.

Birth—what a terrifying thought.

“I’ll definitely be there!” she shouted happily. “Have you thought of any names?”

“Actually,” I started, smiling, “Oli and I have been talking and we do have one in mind. Do you want to know it? Nobody else does.”

“Oh, yes! I’d love to know!” she nearly screamed.

I laughed and smiled. My mom was such a child about some things. She just warmed my heart.

“Connor Anthony Sykes.”

“It’s adorable! I absolutely love it, Anna!”

I laughed. “Thank you, Mom. But I think I’m going to bed, alright?”

“Okay, Belle. I love you.”

“I love you too, Mommy. Night,” I whispered, suddenly extremely tired.

“Night, Annabelle.”

I hung up my phone, text Oli saying goodnight, rolled over and fell fast asleep.

[--]

It was 27° out, and I was wearing about ten layers of clothing. My stomach hadn’t grown much in the past two weeks, and I was actually starting to get over the fact that I looked like an air balloon, which was quite an ironic metaphor. I felt like my head was above the balloon and my feet were the basket, which was nearly impossible to see.

Frustrating things just whizzed by me now; I was just ready for Oli to get home. I missed him so much, and the phone calls turned into few and far between.

I saw in AP where he was interviewed, and they asked him if he was serious with anybody.

His answer was: “You’ll find out in March.”

I couldn’t help but smile. He was such a sneaky little shit, and it made me miss him even more. I could barely function in my daily life without him.

My phone was vibrating on my bed when I walked into my room, so I just walked over to it and picked it up, not expecting Oli to be on the other line, so when he spoke it was like a nice surprise.

“Hey baby,” I sighed out, smiling. It was so good to hear his voice.

“Hey, love. I have a surprise for you,” he said, the smile he had plastered on his face echoing through the phone line.

“Oh, really?”

“Really.”

“Do tell!” I said happily.

“Well,” he started, then paused.

“Oliver!”

“We cut the show a month early because the guys all want to go home.”

I nearly screamed. I was going to get to see him.

“Oh, and how was the doctor’s appointment yesterday? Is Connor okay?” he asked, suddenly interested, but I was so wrapped up in what he had just told me I nearly ignored him.

Then I snapped back to reality.

“Yeah, he’s fine. We both are.”

“Good, but I’ve got to go, love. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Okay. I love you.”

“I love you too. Goodnight.”

Hanging up, I wanted to squeal with joy. He’s coming back next month!