Play It Again

My hair hung loosely around my shoulders as we drove home in his best friend’s car. He was driving fast, as I sat, glancing out the window at the orange sky above us. This time of day was always so beautiful, it made me wish like I could stare at it all day.

He was only driving with one hand on the steering wheel, the other resting comfortably on my heart, as if he was counting every beat. The feeling of his skin on mine was always comforting, but there were the days where I hardly noticed what was going on around me, where I kept spacing out, and everyone would think I was upset over something. It was times like those where I just couldn’t stop thinking.

I vaguely heard the music of the song Desolation Row being turned down in the background, and the car slowing down slightly.

“Bel, is something wrong?”

For a moment, I didn’t respond, but only turned to face him. A minute later, I shook my head, my eyes still unfocused, as I was still thinking.

“No, it’s nothing. Something’s just... bothering me.” I mumbled quietly.

I felt his hand travel up to my face, resting on my cheek. He turned his head, moving closer to me, so that our faces were only inches apart. He knew it was one of the things I loved most about him. He merely brushed his lips against mine and pulled away, allowing me to look into his brown eyes. I took a deep breath and allowed myself to smile at him, and pull away from his grasp. He took my hand in his, still looking me in the eye. When he did that, I knew he cared about me, I could see it.

“Then tell me what it is.”

I looked away, starting to chuckle to myself slightly. I knew once I said it out loud, I was going to feel silly. I didn’t want him laughing at me because of something stupid like this, but I hated lying to him about anything, so I just told him.

“I was just thinking about how we don’t have a song, and it seems like everyone else does.” I said, a blush rising to my cheeks.

I waited for him to respond, but out of the corner of my eye I saw him look back at the empty rode in front of him. I felt him let go of my hand and place it on the wheel. I slid down slightly, letting my head fall as I now concentrated on my shoes, wondering what he was thinking at that moment. It felt like the car wasn’t moving anymore, and out of pure curiosity, I sat up, to glance out the window.

He had pulled over at the side of the rode, and started to turn to me once again. I felt the pair of rough hands take the one closest to him and pulled on it softly. I looked up at him slowly, trying to imagine his expression before I could see it.

On his face, was a half smirk, the one I hardly ever saw.

“We do have a song.” He said simply.

“We do?” I questioned. He laughed at the confused look on my face and nodded enthusiastically, his brown eyes now with a new twinkle in them.

“Yeah.” He answered, “Have you ever listened to when I take you home, and the last thing I can hear is you slam the screen door? Or when I tap on your window when we’re sneaking out? And every time you talk so slow when I call you in the middle of the night, and all you worry about is if your mother is going to wake up, that’s what I love. I wish you could hear the way you laugh in my eyes, and what you told me when I didn’t kiss you after the first date. Imagine you can hear all those things...”

I closed my eyes and smiled. Seconds later, I opened my eyes to look at him again, a wide grin spreading over my face. “Gustav, I can hear it...” I whispered.

His grin matched mine exactly, and he pulled me as close as he could manage in the car. He lifted his hand, gently placing it on my head and pulled me to his lips. He kissed my cheek twice, sending shivers down my spine, and then moved his lips to my ear.

“Well Bel, that’s our song.” He whispered sweetly.

* * *

I was walking up the front porch steps, mumbling a few curse words to myself bitterly, pausing only to search for the key buried deep in my pocket.

I extracted the key from my jeans pocket, running a hand trough my hair. The only thing on my mind at that moment is that I couldn’t wait to go to sleep, to just put today behind me. I never tried to remember the past that often, and on days like these, the sooner I could go to sleep, the better. I didn’t know what I was feeling, if it was anything at all.

The hallway seemed just as empty as it always does, I hardly ever notice what I’m surrounded by in my own house, and everything was always exactly the same. My bedroom was at the end of the hall, the farthest from where I was. I sighed loudly and started dragging my feet to the closed door.

I stretched out a hand long before I should have, the feeling of my eyes getting heavier by the minute only making me want to walk quicker. I stopped in front of the door, placing my right hand on the door’s cold handle, turning the knob slowly. The door opened quickly and silently, the first thing I saw was a glimpse of my bed. I quickened my pace once I closed the door behind me, feeling my eyes close on their own. I counted the steps I took until I felt safe enough to let myself fall onto the bed.

Underneath my fingertips I felt an unusual soft material. I cracked open one eye and stared down at my hand, as I did, my eyes shot open. I was still tired, but now I sat up, a smile threatening to take over my features. I looked around at my bed and the part of the floor that was visible from my bed.

I picked up the red rose underneath my hand to examine it. I chuckled to myself quietly once I realized I that I hadn’t noticed any of this. I couldn’t believe that Gustav had gone through do much trouble. It made me feel a bit guilty about not seeing it. I ran my hand over the rose petals, realizing that all the thorns were neatly cut off. I wished that he was here with me.

I sat up on my knees and crossed my arms over my chest. The room was filled only with roses, thrown on the floor and the bed, some were on the curtains. Mostly they were pale pink roses, others deep red, and a few white ones in between. My hands traveled over the material of my bedspread, enjoying the way the roses felt against my skin.

I stopped for a moment when I felt a soft thump against my fingers. I pushed the roses aside, hearing a few fall to the floor.

I picked up the neatly folded piece of paper and opened it, seeing Gustav’s messy handwriting scribbled all over the paper, if it was possible, it made me smile even wider. Out of all the people in the world, only he could manage to do that, no matter how terrible my day was, he could make me smile. With him on my mind, I looked down and read what he wrote me.

“Our song is the slamming screen doors,
Sneakin' out late, tapping on your window
When we're on the phone and you talk real low
'cause it's late and your mama don't know
Our song is the way you laugh
The first date "man, I didn't kiss her, and I should have"
And when I got home ... before I said amen
Asking God if he could play it again”

I folded the letter up, and almost instantly knew that I could never lose it. I dug up the small wooden box I kept under my bed and placed it inside, smiling down at it one last time. When I sat up straight again, I heard soft tapping on my window and smirked. I stood up and walked to the window, seeing his smiling face looking at me from the other side of the glass. Once again, our song was starting.