I'd Lie

I sat at my window, staring at the empty rode underneath me. My head rested on my hands as I imagined his black Cadillac driving down the street at that exact moment. I would imagine his perfect face looking up and seeing me in the window, waiting for him, and then he would smile. And leave me completely breathless, because that’s just what he does to me.

From where I sat, I could see up the entire street, which came in handy most of the time. Getting impatient, I sat on my knees, childishly pressing my nose against the cold window. I looked up the street to catch a glimpse of the car I had been waiting for, and when I saw it, I felt my heart skip a beat. It was silly, I knew it, but just the thought of him being inside of that car excited me, and the fact that he came for me, made me happy. I watched him for a second as he pulled up in front of my house, just because he didn’t know I was looking at him.

He had his usual smirk on his face, and as usual, when I would look at it, I felt the knot form in the pit of my stomach. I sighed quietly, pulling down my t-shirt absent mindedly, standing up.

I smiled widely, jogging down the staircase happily. I paused at the front door, standing on my toes to look out of the nearest window. I moved the curtain out of the way, and watched him stare up at my bedroom window, tapping his steering wheel to the beat of a song he was probably listening to.

I rolled my eyes and turned the doorknob, feeling the sun shine on me instantly as I stepped out. I could see that he heard the door open, and in between my bangs, I watched his gaze switch to my direction. I chuckled to myself as I approached his car. Slouching slightly, I slid into the car. I don’t think that passenger seat has ever looked as good to me as it did now.

The door slammed shut and he started the engine again. I allowed my eyes to flicker over to his, finding that he was looking back at me. I crossed my arms over my chest, realizing only then that he was in a very good mood.

“Hey.” He greeted finally, making me chuckle.

“Hi,” I responded, “How was your night?”

Mostly, that was a question I tried to avoid when I was with him, but I knew him by now. When he was in a great mood, like today, he wanted me to ask, no matter what it was. He listened to his light-hearted laugh as he turned to corner.

“It was so great, man Naomi. You should have seen her,” He said enthusiastically, “the girl I met last night, she was hot. I would go back to her any day.”

I was sitting with my back to the car door, secretly counting the different colors in his eyes as he spoke. I loved when he had that sparkle in them when he was happy, it made me with that he was never anything but happy. I copied his laugh from before and shook my head. I ran a hand though my hair and raised my eyebrow at him for a second.

“So... I’m guessing this is love?”

As the question escaped my lips, he let out a snort and looked at me for a nanosecond, shaking his head.

“You should have known by now, I don’t fall in love. Ever.” He said, winking at me, running a finger over the tip of his hat. I couldn’t help but laugh to myself, hoping that he was wrong.

I raised my hand and placed it on my heart, feeling the hard thumps I felt each time that I would imagine what would happen if he and I were together. I shook my head, deciding to stick to reality. I knew him, and I knew that something like that would never cross his mind.

“Hey Naomi, Bill told me this great joke this morning...” He started excitedly, snapping me out of my thoughts for the time being. I turned to him, urging him to tell me. He carelessly played with the steering wheel underneath his fingers, barely keeping his eyes on the road. Most people would be scared of his driving, but it was just something I got used to, it was fun to be in the car while Tom was driving. Life with him was never boring.

“Okay, how do you erase a blonde’s memory?”

I sighed quietly, “How?”

“Blow in her ear!”

I faked a laugh and turned to face the front of the car again. My thoughts started wandering again, but I could still hear Tom’s talking in the background. I ran a hand over my arm, feeling the tickling sensation run through it.

I had known Tom for six years now, and I doubted he knew that I knew him better than anyone, except for his twin. I had memorized every fact there is to know about him. I knew his favorite song, the one he would play every time we walked into his room. He didn’t care how old it was; he just loved listening to it. I could tell people so many things about him they didn’t know, they wanted to, but Tom just never let them.

Tom was the kind of guy everyone wanted, and some cold have. Most people would sit with him at lunch, and he would call a few of them his friends, but he never let any of them get to know him. That was why I always felt so special when I was with him, because he actually let me get to know him. And that was the reason I loved him in the first place. Because the person he’s hiding is better than the person he is around other people, and only I get to see that person.

I could have told them so many things about him that they didn’t know.

I bet they didn’t know that his favorite color was blue.

Or that he loves to argue, and his reason for it, is because he was born on the first of September.

None of them knew how beautiful Bill really was, and that they have their father’s eyes.

They thought they knew, him, but they didn’t.

We pulled up at an unfamiliar house, and I waited for Tom to get out fast, and lead the way. The house was fairly big, and it was impossible to miss the loud music coming from inside. I wasn’t really one who liked going to parties, but no one, including me, could ever say no to Tom.

He grabbed me by the arm, and pulled me inside. There weren’t that many people inside, and if there were, most of them would be in the middle of the room, dancing. I followed him into the corner, where four chairs stood, Tom and I both took two, putting our feet on one each. The music was too loud to even attempt talking, and I was grateful that it was darker than usual.

I threw my hand over my chair and turned to watch Tom. He was looking at the crowd of people in front of him, an oddly blank look on his face. Most of the time when he had that look on his face, it was hard not to want him to kiss me, but I knew that it could never happen. But it still bothered me that he didn’t have a clue. As I watched him, it felt like I was waiting for a light to go on inside of him, and he would realize that I’ve been here all along.

I followed his gaze to see a pair of girls walk in our direction, giggling loudly. I looked back at Tom, and I was happy to see that he hadn’t really noticed them. I looked away from them and closed my eyes in the darkness, allowing pleasant memories of our past to run through my mind.

Nobody except me has ever seen him cry, it was something I knew they never wondered about. They didn’t really care about Tom. But he was the one who would play his guitar for me at night, and allow me to see the songs he wrote that no one else could see. He would look at me and laugh, and tell me what people were thinking, he said he could see through everyone, and that it was easier.

The night he told me, all I could think about was how I wished that he could see through my heart and knew what I felt, because no one else would ever know.

I wondered what he would say if he knew that the first thing I think when I wake up is how beautiful he was, and each morning when I put on my makeup, I prayed for a miracle. It was really funny, the way he was so oblivious to everything.

“Naomi?” I heard Tom scream over the music. I lifted my head to look at him, realizing that he stood up, and that the two girls were standing behind him, pulling on both his hands. He raised his eyebrow uncomfortably, sending me a desperate look, even when he knew I wasn’t able to do anything. He took a small step backwards, “I’ll be back in a few minutes.” He said.

I watched them turn around. I started to frown when I watched the blonde girl on Tom’s right side take his hand and laced it with hers. I shook my head, trying to forget the sight, and switched my gaze to focus on something else.

“... You love him, don’t you?”

The soft voice caught me off guard, making me jump slightly. I turned around to see a girl from school, Grace, sitting in the chair Tom was minutes before. She was taller than I was, even when we were both sitting, she was staring down at me. She had a small expectant smile on her face. I wanted to pretend that I didn’t hear, but she knew I did. Subconsciously, I glanced at Tom who was now dancing with the girls. I took a deep breath and looked away.

“No, I don’t.” I lied.