The Glass Passenger

Alex felt as if he was in a Supernatural episode.

It was just too much, especially after having watched himself being run over and then driven away by an ambulance. Now there was some clean-cut mama’s boy telling him that he was Annie’s replacement and to top it off he knew Alex’s name.

“What do you mean you’re Annie’s replacement? And what am I doing here?” Alex asked hotly striding towards the dark haired man pointing a finger at him.

“She’s been allowed to move on, and you should be going as well. You don’t belong here anymore, but you had to see the moment in your life where everything changed again.”

“Who are you?” Alex asked, desperate for some sort of comprehension in his situation.

“My name is Ryan but that doesn’t matter Alex. You won’t ever be seeing me again. Annie has done her job, she’s happy now. But you,” he said pointing an elegant finger at Alex. “You can’t stay here.”

There were still so many questions that Alex had to ask, specifically questions that had to do with Annie. Ryan just smiled at him kindly, with the patience of an angel.

Ryan MacArthur could feel Alex’s confusion, and he sympathised with that. It was a difficult situation to accept and he didn’t have all the answers for him. Ryan MacArthur had been Annie’s only friend during her existence on the spiritual plane. He had killed himself twenty years ago in a rush of guilt over his baby daughter’s death at the hand of a lake trip gone wrong. Ryan knew everything about guilt that were was to know, he also knew the emotions people were going through when they saw everyone else in their life move on. Ryan himself had managed to overcome this hurdle but he had refused to move on, he wanted to help others. He decided to stay on.

He existed for moments such as this. Moments of enlightenment when a soul was ready to go home, when a person realised that their journey was over. He loved to see them back in their new life, to see how they appreciated every new moment and how their life was filled with meaning.

But as Ryan looked at Alex he knew that the last point did not apply to Alex. His life had already had meaning. The meaning in Alex’s life was also the reason why he had put up a fight and why he had shouted at Annie. Rachel was the meaning. She was why he was coming home.

“Annie helped you through this part of your life and she realised why she had been in her position for so long. Through you she learnt the value of self-sacrifice and acceptance. You taught her something she needed to know and now she can go.” Ryan said as if he had read Alex’s mind.

The latter just nodded; he knew it was futile to ask any more questions. The answers wouldn’t make any more sense to him than Ryan’s explanation. But Alex knew that this was the end of his journey. It would be over soon.

“This will be the first day of your new life Alex, there’s a lot that you still have to do and accomplish, there’s a lot of people who need you: your family, friends, fans and Rachel so you need to go now,” Ryan said gently to Alex, who had been looking at Ryan with wide eyes.

“Where?”

“Home Alex,” Ryan said smiling at him. He could understand the incomprehension. After such a long time a person never thought that the day would come where they could return to where they belonged.

“How do I get there?” Alex choked, he was confused, tired and upset. Meeting some other strange Annie like person was too much. He’d had enough. He just wanted to go home.

“You start walking.”

Ryan pointed up the road of Alex’s car accident. It was a straight strip of grey tarmac, the paint that indicated the lanes was fading slightly and the road looked worn out and tired. It seemed to stretch on for miles into the horizon, where it remained as a small grey spot. But as Ryan pointed there seemed to erupt a bright light at this point on the horizon.

Alex turned his head round to look at Ryan, who just sent an encouraging smile his way and nodded.

“Good luck Alex,” Ryan said and lifted a hand as good-bye gesture.

It took him a moment to register that this was it. After so long he could now finally go home. All those weeks spent watching his loved ones live without him and suffer were coming to an end. He was going to have that rare second chance at life: he would be able to live his life in a way that left no regrets. He could return to those he loved and treasure every second of his life. He would be able to travel to places and be an active part of the present.

His future lay glimmering brightly in the horizon.

He was ready for this.

With a nod to Ryan he turned around and started stepping forward towards into the light.

It was exactly the same feeling as when Annie had kissed him on the forehead. He seemed to rise up and float on, the light around him grew and he felt mildly seasick. There was an almighty lurch and every muscle in his body seemed to ache. It was this motion that set off the rest of his senses and reactions. He couldn’t hear the wind anymore, instead the soft lull of the breeze was replaced with the incessant beeping of a heart monitor, he could feel the course material of the hospital bed beneath his fingers and as his eyes continued to creep open real light hit his pupils and the first thing that he saw was Rachel.

She had never looked more beautiful to him.

She was reading her art book with concentration, a small line between her eyebrows as she focused on a certain picture. Her blonde hair was in a sloppy braid hanging over one shoulder, small parts of her fringe kept getting caught in her eyelashes every time she blinked. The sight of her made his heart swell and it took every once of restraint in his beaten body not to reach out and touch her. She was his home and finally he could be with her again.

It took his eyes a few moments before the rest of the room came into sharp focus, but then he saw Jack, Rian and Zack behind Rachel’s shoulder. All were gathered in his room too, they were all still deeply immersed in their mind occupying actives, trying to keep themselves distracted. All of them had slightly disheartened expressions on their faces, but the fact that they were still in his hospital room spoke volumes. Relief flooded Alex and he let out a breathy laugh that was barely audible.

The colours of the flowers and cards from the fans seemed saturated with colour, the smell of the rain mixed with disinfectant was overwhelming: it was as if every sense and nerve of Alex was on fire. But nothing could compare to being able to actually see Rachel and knowing that he could touch her, and if he spoke his words to her they would be heard.

It took a few moments for his brain to catch up with what his mouth wanted to do, but all at once his faint raw voice filled the room.

“Where’s the party at?”

Every single person in the room reacted in exactly the same way to the hoarse and long unused voice that, even though it was so quite, seemed to fill the whole room. The boys turned towards the bed from where the unexpected voice had come from and jumped out from their seats.

Rachel had shot out of her chair dropping the book, which fell to the floor with a soft thump. She looked down at Alex with feverish eyes and when she saw his open brown eyes that were filled with a thousand intense and adoring emotions looking up at her, her hands flew to her mouth and tears filled her eyes.

“Oh my fucking god he’s awake.”

She collapsed onto his chest, clutching at him to make sure that he really was there this time. She heard his strong heart beat and felt his shaky breath hit her bare neck. She could feel the low laugh vibrate through his chest and heard the blood pump through his heart. She could feel his movements for the first time in almost a month and she had heard his voice again. When his hand reached up slowly and stroked her cheek she started sobbing uncontrollable.

“It’s ok love, you can stop crying. I’m back now.”