Just So You Know

I think that I must have seemed happier, and in a lighter mood, because Ginny kept asking me what had happened. I told her I would tell her later, but she wanted to know then. I think I need more answers before I tell her how I feel about Fred, and what had happened in the garden. For all I know, Fred could be married and have kids! I think he hasn’t and doesn’t though, because he would have brought her to dinner tonight wouldn’t he have? But I don’t take any chances.

“Ginny, I promise you that I will tell you. I just need more answers first. Hopefully I’ll be able to tell you before the end of the night.” I tell her and she squeezes my hand reassuringly. Before we know it Molly and Arthur are saying good night, and soon after Charlie, Bill and Fleur and Percy are leaving too. Hugs and kisses are all around the room.

“Yes, it was nice to see you again too Fleur. Maybe we can have lunch sometime?” Fleur is introducing the idea that we become best friends, I can tell.

“Oh we ‘ave to soon! I ‘ill look for’ard to it!” Glad someone is.

“Goodbye Charlie, Bill. And Percy” They smile and wave. Ron, Hermione and the twins decide they will stay the night at Ginny and Harry’s place. This will give me more time to talk to Fred. I need answers. Without answers I will not forgive.

He looks at me, and I give him the face that says it all. I need answers; I want to forgive you. I walk out the door, and into the garden. I’ve always loved the garden, especially in the summer, when all the flowers are in bloom. Mrs. Weasley has always done a good job keeping this garden beautiful. I’m surprised she would even have the time to take care of it! I wander until I see the bench. Oh what a bench…I sit there a couple moments wondering if Fred will come. Sure enough he does, and he just sits beside me, not saying a thing. When I wonder who will talk first, he is about to say sorry. I don’t want to know why he is sorry until he tells me the truth. So I interrupt.

“Why? Why Fred. That’s been my question all theses years, it’s my unanswered question. Why?” I’m rocking back and forth. He delicately caresses my shoulder. He knows me. He knows I can’t resist his touch. I start to lean into him, when I stop. Why should I? I show him I’m stronger then I used to be. I grew up.

I feel like I’m strangling myself trying to resist his touch. I pounce onto him, and unbutton his shirt. I can feel his hands going up mine, and unbuttoning it. I rest my hand on his bare chest, and his hands wander up and down my sides until he makes his way to my breasts and cup them in his hands. I begin to kiss his neck as he unbuttons my pants. I take his pants off, and he’s only in his boxers. Soon my pants are completely off, and I’m left in my panties and my half buttoned blouse. He’s trying to strip me naked, but I stop him. I wont do anything more until I have answers. He looks at me confused.

“I need answers Fred Weasley. Why did you leave me? You told me you loved me. I thought you meant it”

“Just because I left you doesn’t mean that I don’t love you.”

“Maybe not, but it hurt me! I cried, I waited for you to come and explain yourself for weeks. Next thing I know you’re with Angelina!”

“But..!”

“No, do not interrupt me right know. For all I know you could be married! I wouldn’t know because you have never told me! I bet you are, I bet you’re engaged to Angelina! I almost just let a married man fuck me!”

He doesn’t say anything.

“Oh my god, this is perfect. Just bloody perfect.” I’m ready to kill.

“No, don’t leave.” He’s very quiet. “I love you more then I could ever love her.”

I look him in the eyes, “Do you love her?”

“Yes”

“Do you love me?”

“Yes”

“Ughh.” I try to put my pants back on but Fred stops me.

“I love you.” He kisses my lips. I do not kiss back, nor do I pull away. I just sit there, trying to let it sink in. He deepens the kiss, so I have to kiss him back. And I do. Before I know it, it’s over. He fucked me for what felt like hours in that garden. I can’t think, and when I do it’s fuzzy. I just fucked a man who is getting married in a couple weeks. Why is he getting married to her if he loves me? Why did I let him fuck me? I love that way he says my name. What am I talking about?

I put my clothes back on, and wonder whether are not to believe him. I mean He seemed believable. But he can charm. I’m so confused. Before I go back in the house I take another walk around the garden trying to clear my head. Ginny comes out to find me.

“What happened? Fred came in and went straight to the spare bedroom he is staying in. Are you alright?” She sounds very worried.

“I just let him fuck me. He told me he loved me more then he could ever love Angelina. They’re getting married in a couple weeks for god’s sake. What am I suppose to think? And I still don’t even know why he left me!” Ginny’s face fell into the comical ‘O’.

“Don’t tell anyone please Gin. I don’t want everyone to know.” She nods. I can trust her with that secret. She gives me a huge hug. She whispers into my ear that it will all work out in the end. I guess that means that Fred and I aren’t meant to be, but I already knew that.

“Goodnight Ginny, sleep well. I think I’ll go have a chat with Ron. I don’t think I can talk to George. He looks too much like Fred.”

“Oh alright Caty. Goodnight.” And she walks to Harry and gives him a kiss on the cheek. I swear under my breath. Why can’t I find somebody to love me like Harry loves Ginny? I walk into the living room and sit by Ron. Hermione has gone to bed already. George gets up and walks out of the room. I know he thinks it’s my fault his brother is upset. I don’t blame him. Or maybe he thought something else.

“Are you alright Caty? I know Fred was kind of upset when he came inside. Can I get you anything to drink?” Ron is so nice.

“No, I’m okay for now. I think. George thinks it’s my fault Fred is upset doesn’t he?” Ron nods.

“I don’t know what to do anymore. I came to London for a new life. I didn’t come back for this. I never thought I’d ever see Fred again, let alone see him the second night I’m staying in London.” I sigh. Ron puts his hand on my back reassuringly.

“At first I was grateful to have saw Harry when I did in the ministry. Harry didn’t even tell me that everyone was going to be here until it was too late!”

“He thought he was doing you a favor I suppose.”

“I think I will leave tomorrow morning. This is not what I want.” I know I have to leave.

“Whatever you choose Caty, I’ll be here if you need any help.” I smile at Ron. My second real smile I’ve smiled since I’ve gotten here. Maybe it was a good thing that my journey brought me here,

“Goodnight Ron. I might not see you in the morning.”

“Goodnight and good luck Caty.”

He leaves the room, and I’m left all alone. I can’t help but think how different my life would be if Fred and I had not broken up. We might’ve gotten married! Had kids even. I would have never been with Jordan, so I would not have any bruises or scars to remind me of him. But then I would have never been able to tell Oliver that I loved him. Make up your mind girl! Who do you love? Fred or Oliver? The light in my head decided to click on. It’s all making sense. Fred and Oliver were friends. Oliver must’ve told Fred about how much he loves me once, and then Fred saw how differently I act with Oliver. I need to see Fred. I need to talk to him. Which room is his?

It turns out I don’t need to find his room, because I find him coming out of the bathroom when I walk upstairs. “Fred…” He turns his back on me. He isn’t ready to face me, but I follow him into his room and sit on his bed.

“Caty please leave.”

“No, I know why you left me now. I’ve been too thick to realize it all these years. I’m sorry.”

He just looks at me, so I just look at him.