Just For The Rush

There came a time in my life when i just stopped respecting my father. I no longer considered him a father to the family and i immediately grew the balls to take over his spot. While he sat in his room moping about his lost love, life still moved on. Daniella still needed to be tended to in her infancy, and Danka with her bundle of joy on the way, Dani became my responsibility. We did the best we could. And seeing as we were still too young to be considered adults, that wasn't as good as it needed be.

It was around this time when i started gaining trust for the eldest. She worked long hours, and through the pain of her fat body wearing her down. Even fatter with the baby hugging her intestines.

About seven years after Mother left, Father disappeared for long lengths of time. My friend Heathen verbally predicted that his absence was due to the fact that his broken heart was shattered, and the wood in his pocket needed to be handled with care (or roughness, whichever he preferred). I was disgusted, but that didn't keep the giggles coming from my direction.

If only we knew how wrong she was, and how right all of the scratches on the door or the moaning in the windows were. But how could we know what went bump in the night? We only thought Father needed a fairly large BUMP in the night.

I pulled my vans on and put my headphones in their rightful places in my ears. And after taking a few bites of toast, i went for a walk. This was the only time i could relax and just worry about myself. I had no responsibilities on the streets except for look out for cracks so my mother's back stays in tact (not that she'd ever say thank you. The ungrateful hag).

Several years have passed, and my thoughts of my mother, such as the colour of her hair, the tone of her perfect skin, and her beautiful light brown eyes, stopped coming. I can go weeks without even a whisper of thought about her. I presumed this came from the closure i felt when the realization of her never coming back sunk in. But i still missed her when i thought of her. Time couldn't heal that.

There was much time just can't erase.

I've heard numerous times from my "counselor" that my mother leaving was not my fault. She thought i blamed myself for this. But the truth: i blame her. I blame her selfish attitude and her lack of love for her children.

Sometimes i wish she left earlier though. Early to the point where i have only delicate memories of her existence and even fewer thoughts of her. These were the times i was jealous of Daniella. She wouldn't even remember her.

When tears started to soak my eyes, i let out a small sob. I hadn't cried in so long. All my memories of her flooded me. I saw her crying on the couch and my father standing above her with a helpless look in his eyes. He tried reaching out to her but she pushed him away. She looked so scared. I could almost feel her heart pounding against her rib cage.

"He's coming for me," she sobbed with her hands over her eyes. The collar of her silk shirt was damp. She'd been wearing red that day.

Father clenched his fists and put his hand on her shoulder. This time she let him. "Bobby and i will protect you." His voice was small.

Violently, she pushed his hand away. "I'm going to die, Thomas! Do you not understand that? I have to get out of here. I have to leave before he finds me."

"I will die before he lays a hand on you, Crystal. I love you and i will do anything in my power to protect you."

This was the only time i saw her look anything but beautiful. At that moment she looked carnal. Her fury raged and her skin glowed red.

"As long as she is here, he will know where i am. He will come for me and kill me. He's already got to me once, and if it wasn't for the baby on the way I'd be dead! You selfish bastard! If i stay here i will die! I will die.." Her fury died down to sorrow and she collapsed on the couch. Her eyes were wide open and seemed to be staring at me. The look in her eyes was blank.

That was a day i blocked from my mind. But today the memory rushed over me like a hurricane, knocking the breath out of me. it took me a while to figure out why this was coming on now, but it soon registered.

I turned the volume of my Ipod up and put it on my favourite song. And then, i just ran. Responsibilities aside. Life behind me. I ran. Just like she did. I cracked.

Today was November 23. The exact day mother left, only ten years later.

I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree after all.

~~~~~~

"Hey Gregory," I said smiling my best smile.

Greg looked up and gave me a heart warming smile. His pearly whites looked especially perfect today. "Hey, baby. How is my girl?"

I ran over to him and jumped into his arms. He smelled like a mix of weed and cheap aftershave. My favorite.

It has been a few days since my breakdown. My hormones were normal, my mood was back to happy, and my heart was perfectly bandaged. I felt normal. And this was one of the rare times i actually felt content with my life.

I think i ran for three hours that day. But in the end, duty called. Family above all. I should know that lesson better than anyone.

And of course, life went on. I had to attend school just like nothing had happened.

"I'm pretty amazing. How bout yourself, you horny bastard?"

Ever since we met when we were kids, we'd always been so close. Not the kind of friend you can sit down with and pour your heart out to, but the one who understands you without saying a word. He and i were too alike to pour our hearts out like that. We both had too much pride for that.

He flipped the brown hair i loved out of his face and laughed. "You know me so well."

I smiled and bit my lip. "How bout a quick shag before school starts?"

Greg raised his eyebrows and a small smile played on his lips. He was testing me, seeing if i was serious. But after a few seconds i couldn't help but smile.

"Oh, oh you're mean." Greg smiled pushing me slightly.

When we were younger, he used to always tell me how much he loved me. He'd pour his heat out to me on a daily basis. But as he grew older and learned of a little thing called sex, his affections turned in a different direction. Beth and i loved to tease him about it.

"Viva la Veda!" There could only be one person that voice belonged to. Beth. Speak of the devil.

"Bethany," I cooed kissing her on the cheek and then pulling her close. "How was Berlin?"

Beth gave me a knowing smile and i couldn't help but laugh.

"What's his name?" I said with a wicked smile.

She let out a startled laugh and put her hand on my shoulder. "I.. have no idea."

Greg and i burst out laughing and she had the grace to blush. We both knew she was promiscuous, more so than any horny teenager I've ever met. She met a boy everywhere she went. She is a partyer, and i love that about her. It makes her different than the rest of the snobby girls at our school of Incarnate Women.

I smiled at her and she smiled back beautifully. Traveling to Germany gave her a certain glow. She was still pale as snow, but she seemed to sparkle. Her jade green eyes were the brightest I'd ever seen them, and her mahogany curls looked perfect. Her lips, usually a dull pink, were now red and full of colour.

Silence filled the air as i became lost in thought. Something about her was weird. Something about her was just different.

Her eyes squinted as she studied me. "Is there something wrong, Veda?"

"No. Why would there be?" Greg answered for me.

She rolled her eyes as if we were keeping some secret from her and she looked away from us. Her eyes got huge. "Who are they?"

"Who is who?" I said raising my eyebrows. I looked in the direction she pointed and gasped.

"Are you Veda Adams?" The taller of the two asked.

Greg, taking the role of my protector, put his body in front of mine. "Who's asking?"

The blond one smirked and looked at the brown haired one. The brown haired one answered. "I'm Sam Winchester," he said. He pointed to the other guy. "And this is my brother Dean."

I lightly tapped Greg and he stepped out of the way. "Well if that little act of love didn't make it obvious, I'm Veda."

Dean's eyes widened as he saw me. Something told me i wasn't what he was expecting. As Dean looked me over, Sam's eyes stared straight into mine. He looked like he was trying to look past my exterior and find out what lays beneath.

"You look nothing like your sister," Dean said. The way he said it made it seem like a compliment.

Sam rolled his eyes and spoke gravely. "You're in danger. We need to get you on the first plane out of London. We need to go as soon as possible and you have to keep this to yourself. They're probably already watching."

What the fuck.