Careless, Painless and Voiceless

Chapter 14: Painless' Pain

Shinjin was taking a shower. She thought that while cleaning her body, she’ll also clear her mind. She was confused by Wufei’s words and actions and also guilty because of what happened to Haruka.

“I thought I’m a genius.”

Then she remembered the time when she was young and Haruka was away for awhile. Mr. Llamas saw her sitting inside the house’s library.

“You look down, Shinjin.” Mr. Llamas said.

The young Shinjin was surprised to see Mr. Llamas.

“Uncle, how could you?” Shinjin asked.

“It’s about Haruka, right?”

“Yes! How could you give her another mission without me and Karrie?”

“It’s not part of your field. Besides, she is an engineer and the two of you are still studying.”

“What if something bad happened to her?”

“Nothing will happen to her. Doctor S will take care of her.”

“You don’t really care if something happens to her because we’re just nothing to you.”

“It used to be that way.”

Shinjin was surprised and watched her uncle sit in front of her.

“Ever since, Haruka reported to me about what happened to Karrie. I don’t know why but I feel sorry and guilty at the same time and I think that I should not do such. I was supposed to tell Dekim you’re retiring but he gave you this mission which is supposed to be your last. I told Haruka about this but she insisted that she’ll do it alone. There’s nothing I could do. It’s her wish.” Mr. Llamas explained.

“Are you telling me that this is her decision? That is not possible!”

“I received a threat that they will kill us if I won’t send at least one.”

“That lass!! How could she decide on her own?”

“There’s nothing we could do but to wait and hope that she’s safe.”

“Does anyone know about this?”

“Only you. If you want, you can tell Karrie so she won’t feel angry towards Haruka. I don’t like it when you girls fight. I'm, in some way, affected."


"I have a surprise."

"What is it?"

"We're going shopping as a family."

Shinjin's eyes widened then jumped for joy while Mr. Llamas watched her celebration with a smile.

"From now on, I'll treat you and your sisters as my own nieces."

Shinjin was already dressed and went out of the room to check Haruka. She saw that Haruka is still sleeping with bandage around her head.

"You are careless, Flame. You shouldn't chase Duo so that won't happen to you. Wufei should be the one injured."

"N-Nana-shi..." Haruka uttered.

Shinjin smiled when she heard those words.

“Careless.” Shinjin said.

Haruka suddenly opened her eyes and sat up but became dizzy so she lied down again.

“Be careful.” Shinjin told her.

“Shinjin, where am I?”

“You’re in a room. After Trowa’s finished with you, he left and search for the other parts needed.”


“I was just joking.”

“Don’t you dare ever joke about that! And as for the person who did this to me… I’ll crush him!”

Shinjin gulped then sat beside Haruka.

“Then crush me.” Shinjin said.

Haruka was surprised with Shinjin’s statement.

“Okay. Why did you do that?” Haruka asked.

Shinjin did not reply. She just kept quiet until Wufei came with a phone.

“Haruka, its Trowa.” Wufei said then hand her the phone.

“Thank you.” Haruka said.

Haruka was talking to Trowa on the other line while watching Wufei and Shinjin. They were glancing at each other and they are not talking. After a few minutes, Wufei went out of the room.

“DUO! IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT!” Haruka shouted at the phone.

Haruka kept on nagging Duo while looking at Shinjin’s sad face.
After putting down the phone, she smiled at Shinjin.

“I guess, I know why you’re like that. Is that thing you threw supposed to hit Wufei?” Haruka asked.

Shinjin didn’t reply. She just looked at Haruka’s blanket.

“I’m good at this.” Haruka added.

“Flame… It’s true… I don’t know… I can’t understand him.” Shinjin said.

“I can’t understand either.”

“He told me that I should not admire him then I asked what does he want me to do then he leaned close to me and acted like he would kiss me but he didn’t do it so I threw that at him but it hit you.”

“Maybe he likes someone.”


“Maybe he likes guys.”

“Are you joking?”

“He could be gay, right? He’s been with Sally for almost 4 years but nothing happened.”

Shinjin glared at Haruka then tears went down her eyes. Haruka felt bad so she comforted her.

“I’m sorry. It’s only a joke.” Haruka told her.

“I think that he likes Sally. He just can’t say it to me.”

“He must be confused.”

“He chose Sally. Not me.”

“We still don’t know the answer unless we heard it from him.”

“It’s obvious.”

“Let’s see.”

“I’m envious of you.”

“Me? Why?”

“At least, you have Trowa.”

Haruka blushed.

“H-him? No… We’re just friends.” Haruka explained.

“Going all the way with you like this means he would sacrifice anything for you. He left his job just for you.”

“Uhm… He was just being a good friend.”

“Really? I hope so.”

“Anyway, if Wufei chose Sally then it’s alright but if Wufei chose Rashid, Quatre, Trowa, Duo or Heero that’s an hopeless case. We should give him the codename Hopeless from now on.”

Shinjin punched Haruka’s right arm that made her shout in pain.

“He is not gay!” Shinjin protested.

“He is gay.” Haruka told her.

Shinjin was about to punch her again but she faced her pillow to Shinjin so Shinjin hit the pillow.

“What I mean is gay as in happy not gay as in the one who likes boys.” Haruka explained.

Shinjin kept on glaring at Haruka because she knows that that’s not what she meant.

“Fine!” Shinjin said.

“By the way, is it okay for me to go out and search again?” Haruka asked.

“No. You should stay here for a while.”

“But it’s boring here.”

“I brought a book.”

“Fine, I’ll settle for that.”

“I’ll just go and get it.”

“Where is it?”

Shinjin froze as she remembered where she hid her books.

“In the guys’ room.”

“Why is it in there? Did he read it?”

“I used to stay there.”

Shinjin ran out the room.


Shinjin went in Wufei’s room. She can’t remember where she put the book so she searched her bags of book that lay beside the drawer. Then she remembered that she put it in the drawer of the side table. She opened the drawer and found it just in time for Wufei to go out of the shower room. He only wore his towel around his waist. His hair was dripping.

“What are you doing here?” Wufei asked.

Shinjin turned and saw him which made her blush and bite her lower lip.

“O-M-G!” Shinjin uttered as she looked at his body.

Wufei noticed that Shinjin was frozenly staring at him with her mouth partially open so he crossed his arms and glared at her.

“What are you looking at?” Wufei asked while blushing.

“P-pardon?” Shinjin uttered.

“Is there something wrong with you? Haven’t you seen a human body before?” Wufei asked with a smirk in his face.

“O-of course. I was just… s-shocked.”

“You shouldn’t be. You must be skipping class when they taught you anatomy. You have that subject right?”


“Is that your problem?”

“Not just that. You are my problem.”

Wufei stopped teasing her then became serious. Tears fell down Shinjin’s eyes.

“You confuse me. You told me to stop admiring you which means I should forget about my feelings then you tried to kiss me. I-I don’t know what’s wrong?” Shinjin asked.

“There’s nothing wrong with you.”

“Then what is it? Is it someone else?”

“I can’t!”

“Can’t choose?”

“I’ll make your life miserable.”

“I don’t care.”

“You… You are such a persistent girl. You act tough but the truth is you’re fragile. You try to hide your real emotions even though you’re in pain.”

“If you have sisters like Haruka and Karrie then you’ll understand why I try to be strong and hide my emotions.”

Wufei went near her and wiped away her tears.

“You are very talkative and silly.” Wufei added.

“We do have petty disputes but it means a lot to me. I know you’re full of pride and prefer to be alone. I don’t care about your past, Wufei. I accept you for who you are because I love you.” Shinjin said while crying.

“You.” Wufei uttered.

Wufei brushed his lips to her lips. Shinjin gazed at Wufei’s eyes. She’s trying to read what’s on his mind but she can’t figure what he wants.

Wufei wrapped his arms around her body then kissed her. Shinjin gave in and kiss him back. After a while, Wufei stopped then gazed in her eyes.

“You.” Shinjin said.

Wufei lifted Shinjin and laid her to his bed. He immediately went on top of her and grabbed her wrists. Shinjin was surprised of the sudden change.

“Are you scared?” Wufei asked.

“No.” Shinjin said.

Wufei cautiously bit Shinjin’s neck which made Shinjin moan. He kissed her lips again and slowly took off her blouse. Shinjin was hypnotized by his ways. She helped him take off her clothes then wrapped her arms around his head and back and pulled him to her. Wufei stopped then looked at the mark he made on her neck. He removed her skirt while Shinjin removed the towel around his waist. They were having an intimate fight and didn’t care about what will happen next.

Meanwhile, Haruka saw what they were doing but she did not interfere. She just locked the door and went away.

Wufei watched Shinjin sleeping. He kissed her forehead which woke her.

“Wufei?” Shinjin called.

“Marry me.” Wufei said.

Shinjin’s eyes widened because of the sudden proposal.

“No.” Shinjin replied.

“No?” Wufei asked.

Wufei jerked and sat on the bed.

“Why?” Wufei asked.

“Just because you had one time with me that don’t mean that you have to be responsible.”

“No. That’s not it! I love you!”

“You don’t! You're lying! You’re just guilty of what happened!”

“I’m not! I’ve done it because I want it!”

“I know! But I know that you also feel guilty because you want it and you didn’t know that I like it too! You don’t have to be responsible!”

“That’s not it!”

“IT is to me!”

Shinjin tried to reach her clothes but Wufei pulled her and went on top of her.

“I love you! Can’t you see it? Are you blind? I love you!” Wufei scolded.

“You love me because something happened to us!” Shinjin scolded back.

“Marry me!”

“No. I won’t!”

“You’re so stubborn!”


Wufei kissed her again on her lips so that she won’t say anything again. Shinjin just closed her eyes and gave in. Wufei pulled the blanket and covered their body.