Troubled Thoughts and the Self-Esteem to Match

It's been two weeks since Travis and Danny joined us. That also means it's been two weeks since Gabe has so much as uttered one word to me. He's always with Danny; they've become inseparable, as have Travis and I.

"Bill, you in there?"
Travis waved his hand in front of my face.
"Huh?" I snapped back to present reality as he did this. He gave a small chuckle.
"You were staring off into space for like, three minutes straight." He explained with an expression on his innocent face that looked like a mix between anxiety and amusement.
"You okay?" He added when I gazed toward him blankly.
"Yeah, sorry. I didn't sleep very well last night." I ran my fingers through my hair as I made this excuse.
It was true. I couldn't actually fall asleep at all; I dosed off a lot, but snapped back awake before I really even fell completely unconscious.
"Oh, that sucks."
He didn't say anything for as long as it took for us to reach the inventory shed.
"Okay, penny for your thoughts?" He finally pressed, shoving his hands in his pants pockets.

I knew I could tell him anything by now, even if it had only been a week, so I didn't hesitate.
"That asshole has avoided me for more than a week now!"
I vented angrily as I tossed my arms in an angry motion.
"He gives me so much hell this whole time, to the point that it's unbearable, then he just completely avoids me! He won't even look at me!"
I felt sorry for him that I was venting so furiously, but I couldn't stop myself.
"Danny shows up and, POOF! Instant best friends!"
I stopped to examine his facial expression. He raised an eyebrow curiously.
"Do I sense jealousy?"
He inquired.
"No! It's just shitty of him!" I yelped defensively after he said that.
"Where does he get off acting like that?! What did I even do?!"
I watched his shoulders shrug at these rhetorical questions, but I didn't mind. It was comforting just to be able to express how pissed off I was at the jerk.

"You know what you should do?"
I waited impatiently for him to continue.
"You should catch him when he's coming out of the shower rooms and force him to tell you what his problem is. Catch him when he's still in the shower room and don't give him any alternative."
I sighed. "That will never work."
But he was persistent.
"Yes it will. I'll get Brendon and Ryan to help me hold the door closed so he can't open it. Then, he won't be able to get away from you."
He grinned impishly as he explained the master plan.
"Just try it. It won't hurt to try."

"Bill, the water stopped!"
Ryan was jogging down the hall as quietly as possible.
Of course, we had him listening outside the door of the shower room so I could know when to go in and they would know when to hold the door.
I hopped to my feet and the four of us practically ran down the halls to catch him before he could escape.
We got there in time and, without the slightest hesitation, I shoved the door open and walked in.
They were pressing their weight against the door as soon as it shut.
"We need to talk."
I demanded, crossing my arms over my chest and sending him my best glare.
He was pulling his shirt onto his still damp chest when I said this. He jumped and his eyes widened when he realized it was me.
"No thanks."
He hurried past me and to the door.
I was smirking as he grabbed the knob and failed to turn it.
He pulled at it with no prevail. When this didn't work, he tried to shove it open, but it wouldn't budge.
Thank God they're keeping it closed. I practically sang in my head.
He didn't give up for maybe five minutes, but when it finally sank into his thick head that he was trapped,
he dropped his head muttering a slew of obscenities.
"Yeah, they're on my side."
I bragged, knowing he knew there was someone on the other side of the door.
"What do you want?"
He snapped, still facing the door.
"What is your problem?"
I sneered, almost before he'd even finished his own question.
"What's my problem?"
He turned then to face me.
"Umm, you maybe?"
I let my mouth gape open in shock momentarily as this caught me by surprise.
"What did I do?!"
I yelled as the anger returned, stronger this time.
"Does it matter? You're getting what you want!"
He threw back, just as loud.
"What the hell are you talking about?"
He rolled his eyes immaturely before snapping "I'm not bothering you anymore! You should be grateful!"
This obviously irked me even more.
"Are you fucking retarded? One day you're at least acknowledging I'm here, and the next, you try to stay as far away from me as possible? What's your deal?"
He scoffed loudly, as If I were the one being stupid about this, and tried to get the door open again.
It still didn't do anything, so I continued to rant.
"And then, Danny shows up and you're as nice as can be to him! What the hell is that all about?
You gave me so much hell, but you become best friends with him!"
His eyebrows raised slightly at this and then had the audacity to laugh.
"What? Are you fucking jealous?"
I just couldn't believe he was laughing.

I watched him as he did and, I'm sure that if looks could kill, he'd be dead for sure.
"You're-you're jealous?" he guffawed. For a moment, I forgot why I was here, when I heard his laugh.
It was the most ridiculous thing I'd ever heard; he sounded almost like a chicken choking on a balloon, If that's possible.

"Maybe I am, Maybe I'm not." I growled as he finally stopped.
"Like, Ohmygod!" He sarcastically gasped, throwing his hands up to his face.
"Do you want me to be like, your best friend?"
It wasn't the least bit amusing.
"It would be a lot less annoying than sharing a room with someone who won't even look at me!"

He was in my face then, retorting "What about all the teasing? At least you don't have to put up with that anymore."
"Again, it's a lot better than being avoided for no reason."
He thought before saying anything this time.
"Okay. You know what? I won't avoid you. As a matter of fact, I'll be around you so much, you'll get sick of me!"
He turned and reached the door before adding
"But If you get hurt, it's your fault. Now tell them to open the damn door."

"Who farted?!" Bob yelped, pinching his nose shut.
We were all gathered in the living room. Danny raised his hand with a devious grin.
"Dude, that's horrible!" Gabe gagged, pulling the collar of his shirt over his nose. I did the same.
"Fuck man! Are you sure you didn't shit yourself?" Brendon half laughed-half coughed.
I didn't remove the fabric from over my face for several minutes, just to be safe.
"You know what's funnier than that?" Gabe inquired between gulps of Coke.
"What?" Danny replied.
In one motion, he leaned over and belched in my face, loud enough to make my ears ring.
"Oh, that's disgusting! You bastard!" I slapped at him and waved my other hand in front of my face.
Most of the group laughed at this, but I failed to see what was so funny about it.
"Hey boys?" Mr.Way poked his head out of his office then. "We're gonna head to the cafeteria a few minutes early so I can talk with one of the other workers about something."

"Watch it!" I grumbled under my breath as a tall blonde guy bumped into my shoulder, walking past me without so much as a second thought. We'd been informed we were going to be outside for our post-dinner break for 30 minutes longer than usual.
"I think I ate too much." Travis whined, holding his stomach.
"You ate like a pig!" I agreed, laughing.
"I think I'm gonna explode."
We found the Oak tree that was farthest from the lights, I putting my back to the bark and sliding down until my butt was on the grass.

"So, do you think Mr.Way will let us.." Travis began, but quickly trailed off.
I glanced up at him. He was staring straight, eyes widening.
"What's up with you?"
"Dumb and Dumber are coming over here." He explained.
I followed his gaze to Gabe and Danny.
"Yo, What's a couple of fine ladies like you doing in a place like this?" Danny pretended to tip a hat after his fake Southern accent.
"Haha." I sarcastically responded.
"Hey, Travis, Mr.Way needs us in his office for a minute. Something about file transfers."
Travis smiled with a quick "Okay!", before they left.

"Looks like It's just me and you." Gabe sighed before plopping down to my right.
Great.
I watched a dark haired boy in the distance as he suddenly broke out in some weird, random dancing fit.
"So, you don't know why I'm here do you?"
He hesitantly questioned.
"No." I answered bluntly.
"I'm amazed blabbermouth Bden didn't tell you."
He scoffed back, biting his thumbnail.
"Well, I could have asked him I suppose, but I guess I want to hear it from you." I admitted, pushing my hair out of my face.
"Really?" He cocked an eyebrow curiously.
"Yeah. Why not?"
He shrugged, fixing his hat under his purple jacket hood.
"Just seems like you would've taken the answer from him since the odds of me telling you are slim."
I hated awkward conversations. I ran my fingers through my hair repeatedly.
"True." I murmured finally, not really sure what else there was to say.

He sighed loudly before wagering "I'll tell you what I did, if you tell me why you, uh.." He motioned to his wrist warily.
I surprised myself by even considering it; usually I would have downright refused, but something in me told me to.
"O-okay, but you first."
I agreed reluctantly.
"Okay, umm...How should I put it?" He scratched his face, flustered.
"IkilledmystepdadwhenIwas11." He said it so fast that it took me a few seconds to understand it.
I killed my step-dad when I was 11.
"You w...what?" I croaked, bugging my eyes at him, hoping I'd heard wrong.
"Yup." He tossed his arms out in front of him as if throwing a weight from his chest.

"He beat up on my mom and brother, then came at me, so I snubbed him out." He explained.
"H-how?" I was more than shocked by this. I was sharing a room with someone who killed another person.
"The only way I knew how." He answered, running his thumb across his neck.
"Cut his throat." I nodded without thinking.
"I-is that why you freaked out over the blood?"
He knew I was mentioning when I'd gotten my bandages changed.
"I dunno. Possibly." I watched as he rubbed his palms together, almost nervously.
"I promise you, it was only out of desperation. I was scared for the family, ya know?"
I couldn't imagine of even thinking of killing someone at eleven years old.
"I bet you're gonna bust your ass getting to Mr.Way to demand a new room." He chuckled, but it was obvious that he really was worried I would do this.
"No." I didn't sound sure of it myself, but I continued.
"You were eleven. You were afraid for your family. That's understandable."
He gave a small, relieved smile.
"So,uh, you gonna hold up your end of the bargain?" I pushed my jacket sleeve up to examine the bandages. I didn't let myself think about it, otherwise I wouldn't be able to say it.
"I was raped when I was thirteen." I exhaled in one quick huff.
His usually tan face paled visibly. "Seriously?"
This was one of the first times I'd seen him so disconcerted.
"Yeah." He kept his eyes cast down at the sudden change in conversation.
"By who?" He questioned cautiously.
"School bullies." I tried to fight against it, but the tears that were blurring my vision escaped my eyes.
"Well, I feel like a total jackass for giving you hell about it."
He offered, but it didn't help ease the tears.
"Umm.." He shifted uncomfortably before snaking an unsure arm around my neck.
"It's okay." His voice vibrated through his chest and in his throat, the sound oddly comforting in the moment.
"Shh, it's okay, Guillermo."
I didn't understand the Spanish, but it also calmed my nerves a bit more. Maybe it was because I was able to open up to someone, and they stayed there with me. I like that feeling.