Troubled Thoughts and the Self-Esteem to Match

It was finally dark outside.
I couldn't believe my first day here had taken so long.
It felt like it had already been a week in this hell.
I felt kind of bad now that I was alone in my room, thinking about todays events.
I had tracked Brendon and Ryan down after the whole incident with Gabe,
and griped them out for almost twenty minutes.
"Damn."
I threw my head back onto the soft pillow with a long, shrill whine.
"I hate this."
I'm sure if someone were to walk by the door, they would hear me talking to myself and believe I really was here for the best, but I didn't care; I just wanted to feel better.
A loud rap on the door caused me to jolt into a sitting position.
"Holy shit. Can they not just leave me alone?"
I forced myself to my aching feet and crossed the small room and to the door, pulling it open.
"Hello."
It was Mr.Way.
"what d-do you need?"
He gave a few seconds to just smile, probably hoping it would spread to me, but it was useless.
"Umm..Well, I just wanted to tell you that I talked to the nurse.
She asked if you could shower really quick and meet her at the infirmary so she can change the bandages before she goes home for the night."
Sure. I don't mind trying to bend to fit her schedule. It's not like I'm..nevermind.
I didn't like to be so pessimistic, but, how do you expect me to act in this place?
Skipping around shitting rainbows? No.
"Sure.
Where's the infirmary?"
I didn't want to snap off anything too rude to him; he seemed to be one of the only truly genuine people here.
"Take this hall."
He pointed to our right.
"Turn left at the end, and it's the last door on the left. You can't miss it; it has the big red cross sign on it."
I take it that was supposed to be a joke?
I ruined the moment by nodding monotonously.
I guess I should find that stupid asshole.

The group was gathered around the television, watching "House", a t.v. series with Hugh Laurie as the main actor.
"Yo. Grab a seat."
Brendon motioned to me without taking his eyes from the screen.
"Sorry. Can't."
I walked over and leaned down to Gabe's ear.
"After I take a shower, I'm going to the nurse to get the bandages changed."
He glanced up at me with a strange grin, which I instantly wanted to slap away.
"Okay, niño."
I had to practically force myself to leave the room before I strangled him.

"I hate it here."
I growled, spitting the accumulating water from my mouth.
The water even tasted gross compared to Chicago's.
"This sucks."
I finished rinsing the conditioner from my hair before shutting the water off and wrapping the towel snugly around me.
"You complain too much."
A second voice reverberated throughout the almost empty room then, almost scaring the piss out of me.
"What the-"
I slung the shower's flimsy door open to none other that Saporta, perched up on the sink counter.
"What the hell?!"
He curled his lip crudely, ignoring my outburst.
"Oh my god! I can see your ribs! Gross! Go eat a cheeseburger or something, you anorexic!"
I seriously had never met anyone that got under my skin like him.
"You know what!
Screw you! I'm going to the nurse without you, and you won't fucking see!"
The stupid grimace on his face disappeared instantly.
"I was joking! Don't go without me! I gotta see!"
He hopped to the tile floor.
"Why are you in here anyways?"
I snapped, remembering I was naked under the small towel.
"Well, Ay dios, you were taking so fucking long! I swear. thirty minutes to take a shower?"
My eyes bugged.
I'd been showering for that long?
"Shit. So much for a quick shower."
I grabbed my clothes off of the sink counter.
"I'll go catch the nurse. Hurry the fuck up, Whitey."
He dodged out of the room then, leaving me utterly confused as to how his brain worked.
I bet there's some poor hamster running a wheel in there.
I didn't waste time to dry myself off before pulling my shirt over my head.
It annoyed me by sticking to my damp chest.
After finishing dressing, I hurried out the door and down the hall, tussling my hair under the towel simultaneously.
I was surprised by the nurses appearance.
She was actually gorgeous, and much younger than I had imagined her.
"S-sorry for taking so long."
I stammered, feeling worse that I had made her wait than I would, had she been an owl-eyed senior.
"That's alright. It's never a bad thing to take long showers."
She smiled warmly before patting a seat.
"Just take a seat and we'll get that fixed up."
I did so, but not before stealing an anxious glance toward the other male.
He was standing in the opposite corner of the room, watching intently.
"You're okay with him being here, right?"
she questioned before gently taking my arms.
"S-sure."
I shot a momentary glare toward him, who didn't so much at notice.
When she began to pull the gauze off, he grew more animated, but only long enough to crowd in between to watch more closely.
I could feel the scabs peeling off with the bandage, hissing at the sharp, constant pain it was bringing.
"Sorry." She sincerely apologized as she continued unraveling.
I watched Gabe, and how his eyes grew wider as the first cut was enshrouded.
"Holy shit."
He murmured when there was nothing left to cover my left arm.
It was worse than I had remembered, especially now that two strangers were so close, and one was examining them so closely.
"They're inflamed. Let me just go check with the office about medications and things like that."
She explained before leaving the room.
"There...Happy now? You saw. Now you can leave."
I grumbled when I realized his eyes were still glued to my arm.
"What was bad enough to bring all that on?"
His voice was actually quiet for once, as he reached out.
"Oww!"
I howled when a rough finger grazed over the broken skin.
"Sorry."
He muttered, but didn't stop.
Instead, he ran two fingers, from my wrist, over all the cuts.
I gritted my teeth at the pain, but didn't stop him; I was actually kind of intrigued myself.
He was in his own world over these gashes, and I couldn't help but wonder why.
"What's so fascinating? They're cuts."
I jeered, going to pull my arm away.
He stopped me though.
"Would you hold still for one minute. God."
He snapped, grasping my elbow and preventing me from doing so.
"You're really stupid."
He sighed after almost another minute of just tracing the bumps where the cuts swelled up.
"What the hell is your problem?"
I pulled my arms away with enough force to break his hold, but yelped when his fingernails caught the irritated skin, breaking one gash open enough that it began to bleed.
"See what you did!"
He cried angrily, jumping back at least a foot.
"Me?! You're the one that wouldn't let go, you asshole!"
Blood weaved it's way down to my elbow before dripping down to the floor.
"Asshole? All I was doing was looking! You're the one that yanked your arm away!"
He watched another red drop crash to the floor before turning and dashing out of the room.
"What the hell?"
What the hell was that all about?!
The tapping of heels on the concrete floor told me the nurse was back.
"Okay, I'm just going to put some triple antibiotics on it."
She was speaking before even entering the room.
She peeked up from a chart she had in her hands, gasping.
"What happened?" She tossed her blonde hair behind her ear and grabbed a small gauze pad.
"Here."
She pressed the material to the source of the blood.
"Now, let's get the antibiotics on there and wrap it up real good."
She gave a small smile before retrieving the spray from her drawer.

"Soo, Hii."
Frankie was waiting outside the door, which amazed me considering I hadn't heard him walking down the hall.
"Dear God, Don't do that."
I breathed, placing a hand on my chest.
"Soo, didn't go too good?"
I gave a questionable raise of an eyebrow.
"Gabe was going to see the cuts?"
I nodded, clutching the towel I'd brought with me in my hands.
"Yeah, he came barreling down the halls a little bit ago.
Said something about blood."
He nodded for me to follow.
"Yeah. What was that about?
He ripped one of the cuts open, then ran off."
He ran his fingers through his hair with a sigh.
"Yeah, blood kind of freaks him out, just so you know.
So, don't take it too personally if he avoids you tomorrow."
He stopped, mid-step.
"Oh yeah, tomorrow after breakfast, stick with me.
We have group therapy."
"Are you kidding me?"