Troubled Thoughts and the Self-Esteem to Match

"Yo, William!"
Frankie's voice was the first to be heard as he, Brendon, and Ryan came into the bathroom also,
taking their toothbrushes and doing the same as me.
"So, we heard some crazy shit last night. What happened?"
I shrugged before ridding myself of the excess spit and toothpaste that was filling my mouth.
"He was choking or something. Mr. Way came in and woke him up and, the next thing I know,
he's attacking me."
Ryan bugged his almond eyes.
"Did he hurt you?!" He yelped, scanning the exposed parts of my body in search of any clues.
I remembered he'd kicked me, raising my shirt up.
The three gasped collectively when I did.
The skin over my ribs were a discolored purple and yellow, and I was sure I had a few bone bruises on my ribs.
"He did that?!"
Brendon tried to squeal, resulting on him choking on his own spit.
"I guess he kicked a little harder than I thought."
I chuckled as Ryan patted Bren's back to help him regain his breath.
"Wow. That's pretty messed up. Why?"
Frankie joined in, pushing his brunette bangs out of his eyes.
"I dunno. He just tackled me. He was saying something, but it was Spanish..."
They nodded awkwardly.
"Well, to brighten things up..."
Frankie rinsed his toothbrush off before continuing.
"Rumor has it that we might be seeing a couple of new guys in this block soon."
"No way!"
Brendon screeched, finishing brushing his teeth also.
"Yeah. But...."
The two other boys were hanging on edge as Frank hesitated to finish.
"Rumor also has it that they're going to be from Block 10."
The two flinched back and I couldn't help but compare the situation to a group of girls gossiping about a new guy in high school.
"W-what's so bad about that?"
I inquired curiously. Three sets of eyes stared at me as if I had the word idiot written across my face.
"Cell block ten. It's the worst block in this facility."
Brendon explained.
"People like killers, and Rapists."
Rapists.
That word hit home, and I think everyone noticed how my posture tensed double.
"You okay?"
Ryan placed a slender hand on my shoulder.
"Y-yeah."
I stammered, trying to keep my pulse down.
If they placed a rapist anywhere near me, I would have a meltdown.
"But, I doubt they could be bad."
Frank began again, leading us out of the bathroom and down the hallway.
"I mean, we're one of the best blocks, so it would be kind of redundant for them to place any trouble makers with us."
Bob joined the group suddenly, throwing his thoughts on it in.
"Plus, this is all just a rumor, so it's probably not true."
"Well, I mean, you never know. We have quite a few rooms that still need filled."
Ryan argued timidly.
"Yeah, but how many times have they told us we might be getting some new guys?
Will's the first we've seen since you, Ryan."
The conversation ended when the group stopped in front of a dull, unwelcoming door.
Bob pushed the door open without the slightest hesitation.
"Yo! Mr.G, we're here."
He called throughout the empty room.
It looked exactly how I'd pictured it.

There was a large Oak desk in the center of the room, surrounded by Navy-Blue chairs.
Mr.Way's smiling face peeked out from behind a large shelf in the corner.
"Ah, welcome boys. Take your seats."
They all did as told, and I reluctantly sat down to Ryan's left.

I watched quietly as Mr.Way walked across the room and sat on the surface of the desk, all eyes on him.
"Okay, We'll keep it light and simple today for our new housemate."
He flashed a smile to me.
"First off, I'd like to say that William, we're all very, very glad to have you here.
I, on one hand, would like to do whatever is in my power to help you, and I'm sure your peers around you will too."
I felt my face reddening as everyone stared at me.
I couldn't help but pick at the bandages on my wrist.
"So, what we're going to do today is a simple exercise with..."
We watched our counselor stand and go over to the front of the desk,reaching under it and retrieving a beach ball.
"We're going to randomly throw this. Whoever catches it has to tell the group something about them."
He tossed it in the air, Frank catching it first.
"Okay...Umm.." He gave his usual, gorgeous smile.
"I'm terrified of snakes and spiders."
He threw it up, Brendon barely catching it.
"Okay...Hmm.." He strummed his fingers on his chin thoughtfully, before sharing his 'one thing'.
"I Can't think of anything." He laughed, thinking again.
"Umm, I'm allergic to peaches. If I eat them, my tongue swells up really big, and I can't talk."
Okay? That wasn't random at all.
He threw it and, before my brain could process it, it hit me in the face.
"You were supposed to catch it, man!"
He snorted, all of them laughing.
"Whatever." I grumbled to myself, picking it off of the floor.
Crap. What was I supposed to say?
"I love sports."
I pitched out the first thing I could think of.
Brendon laughed.
"Well, I hope it's nothing that involves contact.
You look like your back would break if we threw a bread stick at you."
I knew he was just playing around, but it really stung.
"Well, you don't look so tough yourself."
I threw back, he obviously not expecting it.
"Chill man. I was just playing."
I threw the ball, and Bob caught it.
"I love cats."
He bluntly said, surprising me.
I guess Frankie hadn't been kidding when he said Bob was really just a big teddy bear.
"Here Twiggy."
He under-handed it to Ryan.
"Umm..I absolutely hate Criss Angel. He's such a fake."
I don't think I'd ever heard anyone say they hated Criss Angel; everyone thought he was quote-unquote "Hot".

"Okay. Done already?"
Mr.Way caught the ball and tossed it behind him.
"Okay..So..To build some trust, why don't we give the reason why we're here.
It's very important that you all know how each of you ended up here, so you can grow together."
He glanced around the room. By the looks of it, I was the only one against this idea.
"Okay, start on this side."
He pointed to Bob, on the end.

"I'm an Arsonist. I burned seven houses to the ground."
Once again, he was blunt and to the point.
He was an arsonist? A freaking arsonist? Holy Crap.
Frankie was next.

"I took my fathers handgun to school. I was going to shoot all of my bullies."
I felt the blood drain from my face.
Holy shit.
Innocent looking Frank shot up a school?
"I didn't kill anyone." He continued.
"But I did shoot three people."
I remembered when I'd first talked to him then.
He had mentioned something about bullies. I guess I couldn't blame him though.
Next was Brendon.

"I broke into five buildings and vandalized them."
Okay. That didn't surprise me. He seemed strange like that.
But Ryan? What was his reason?

"Umm.."
He grew instantly flustered, picking at his fingernails.
"I got drug into my brother's gang. They shot a guy one night, and I was the only one from the gang that they caught."
Of course, he was the only one here that didn't do anything wrong.
The poor boy; How was he here if he didn't even do anything?

When no one else said anything, I realized it was my turn.
I turned red, I'm sure of it.
"Uh.." They already knew what I'd done, but not why.
"I-..I tried to c-commit suic-ide..Three times."
I muttered as loud as I could, which was still nothing more than a tiny rasp.
"Why?"
Someone blurted nosily.
Crap.
I realized I was shaking, over something so simple. All I had to do was say it. Three words, but I'd never told anyone before. I literally couldn't, and just thinking of it was making me nauseous.
"You don't have to answer that until you're ready."
Mr.Way thankfully assured, walking over and kneeling down in front of me.
I guessed I looked as bad as I felt upon being asked such a request.
I felt like a child, scared and cowardly, but I couldn't help it.

"Okay? If you're uncomfortable telling us so soon, then by no means do you have to."
I turned my eyes to him.
"Don't worry about it, alright?"
He motioned towards my hands.
"Just calm down."
I realized what he was motioning to.
My hands were clenched together in my lap, so tightly they were colorless.
I released my grip and my arms instantly began to throb.

He stood back up when I did this, waving his hand.
"You can all go. I think we'll wrap up early since we got so much done in this time."
Everyone stood, but he signaled for me to stay behind for a moment.
When we were the only two in the room, he sat down by me.

"SO..I just want to tell you that If you need to talk to someone, come to me. That's what I'm here for. If you need to get anything off your chest, tell me so I can help you."

I kept my eyes low, hoping he would let me go sooner.
"I sense there's a lot as to why you ended up here, and I really want to help you get over it."
He rubbed my shoulder bone fondly.
"Sound good?"
I nodded.

"Okay, I'll pull you out of your break tomorrow after lunch for our one on one counseling. Okay?"
I nodded again.
"Now go catch up with the group."