Promise Not to Break My Little Heart or Leave Me All Alone

I lay on my bed, just staring at every corner of my room. These last three days was meant to be spent happily with Ryan but here I am, all alone and dumped. I felt so weak because I haven’t eaten for a total of two days already. I didn’t have the energy to stand up anymore. I realized that if I continued doing this, I might die and I wouldn’t want to die because of my lack of strength to face the truth that I wasn’t and never was worth anything to Ryan. Maybe not even as a friend because friends just don’t leave without saying a word. Maybe he just pitied me because I was all alone in the beach. He also needed company anyway. All along I thought he was different but they’re all the same.

He made me believe I was a girl that deserved to be liked but why did he do this? Is this a way of showing a girl that he liked her? I am not that naïve to believe that for this is definitely not a way of making a girl feel good.

I stood up and decided to get over him and go on with my life. If he didn’t want me, then I’ll let him be. I’ll not force myself to him.

I ordered some room service and finally ate after 48 hours of no food. I still feel down but I felt a little better now. I glanced at the henna I got with him just a few days ago. I smiled at the memory of that day. Even if he left me, he still made me happy. I owe him that, even if the whole thing wasn’t true. I felt myself sobbing again as I remember the sand castles, the shades, the bag and the tattoo. All the good memories just came rushing in my head and made me cry. I will never forget him. He really made me happy in just a span of a few weeks.



The day of my departure arrived and I just finished packing my stuff. I decided to keep the shades and the bag he bought for me. There were just too many good memories in it that I couldn’t throw it away.

He never even called me. Deep inside, I still had hope that he would call and apologize but I was disappointed again because he never called. It has been three days and he never bothered to give me a simple phone call.

I decided that I will stop thinking about him, little by little. I know I can’t instantly forget, but I will, eventually. I just needed time to heal.

For the first time, I saw my coming back to college as a chance to escape the memories I had about him. Usually it was the other way around. I would go somewhere to forget about college. But now, I’ll go to College to forget. I’d rather take the stress and school Work College gives than the hurt and pain this place is causing me.

I was going back to my old life and hopefully, I would be better off there.