I Left My Heart in Moscow but My Love Waits in Pittsburgh

“What are you doing next Saturday night?” Jordan asked.

“Umm,” I said caught off guard, “I don’t know, probably nothing. Why?”

“Wanna go out? Maybe we could see a movie or something,”

“Sure,” I said confused, “That sounds like fun.”

“How about tomorrow? What are you doing tomorrow?”

“Nothing, I think,” I said, “Oh! I have to go to lunch tomorrow with this guy from my building.”

“What?” Jordan asked, and, for a split second, jealousy flashed into his blue eyes.

“Yeah, he’s been wanting to go out with me but I keep telling him ‘no.’ He’s my partner for pas de deuxs in class, so I just agreed to lunch with him to tell him we can’t date.”

“Oh,” Jordan said sounding relieved, “Well, text me or something if you want to hang out.”

“Sure,” I said with a smile, I kissed his cheek and gave him a hug, “I had fun today.”

“Me too,” Jordan said, still in our embrace, we hugged for longer than what was necessary but I didn’t want to leave his warm embrace. It felt safe and warm and comfortable and I wanted to stay like this. “Let me walk you to the door,” Jordan said as I reluctantly withdrew from his embrace. Like a perfect gentleman, he opened my door for me and helped me out.

“Thank you,” I whispered, shivering at the sudden gust of cold air.

“It got really cold,” Jordan said with little puffs of smoke appearing as he breathed, “Here, wear my jacket,” Jordan said as he draped his blue zipper hoodie over my shoulders. It was the exact same blue as his eyes, it smelled like him, and was still warm with his body heat.

“Thank you,” I said as I slipped my arms into the too-long sleeves.

“Let’s get you inside,” Jordan said as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and we walked to the door of the apartment building, where I spied Robinson spying on us, “Is that your doorman? The guy who’s looking at us.”

“Yeah,” I said grudgingly nodding. “I think this is my stop,” I said as we reached the glass doors of the red brick apartment building.

“Yeah, yeah it is,” Jordan said softly as he pulled me into a quick hug. “Don’t forget to text me.”

I nodded, “I won’t,” I said as I went inside the apartment building.

“Aren’t you guys moving a little fast?” A deep bass voice said, which I instantly recognized as Robinson’s.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you’ve only known him for a month and you’re already spending the whole day with him and wearing his clothes,” Robinson said gesturing to the oversized jacket.

“We’re just friends, he’s just being chivalrous,” I said coldly as I made my way to the elevators.

“I’m sure Alex would be happy about that,” Robinson muttered in a low voice, but I had an inkling that he meant for me to hear it.

I wrapped Jordan’s jacket tight around my body as I waited for the elevator to take me up. As I walked out of the elevator, I saw Anna walking into the elevator, “Hi,” I said politely with a smile.

“Hi,” Anna said, cocking an eyebrow when she noticed the jacket I was wearing, “Had a good time?” she said her voice full of insinuations.

“Yes, I did, how was your day?” I asked.

“Fine,” she said coolly as the elevator doors closed. I walked to the apartment and quickly opened the door and I was met with the image of Alicia on the floor with all of her makeup supplies spread out on the floor.

“Hi?” I said, “What are you doing?”

“Oh! Hi!” Alicia said, her usual happy self, “I’m reorganizing my makeup case. How was your day? Good?” she asked.

“Yup, loads of fun,” I said, “I think I’m just gonna take a shower and sleep. I’m really tired,”

“Okay, sleep well. By the way, I might be going out with Anna, so don’t be alarmed if you wake up and no one’s home,”

“Alright,” I said as I made my way to my room. I took a quick shower and I just laid on my bed, wearing my pajamas, which were a pair of sweatpants and my worn out Metallurg Magnitogorsk shirt, and Jordan’s jacket. I slipped under the covers as I reflected on what had transpired today. Somewhere between reminiscing about putting Oksana in her place and the car ride home, I found tears streaming down my face. I pulled the covers over me and zipped up Jordan’s jacket, pulling its hood over my head, wishing to be surrounded by the comforting smell of his cologne. The more I thought about Evgeni, the more tears came to my eyes and eventually turned the few tears turned to crying. The smell of Jordan still lingering on the jacket seemed like the only thing that kept me from curling myself into a ball and weeping. Somewhere between thinking of Evgeni and me and the thought of Oksana and Evgeni together, I had cried myself to sleep.

When I woke up my eyes were burning, my throat was dry, and my face felt sticky from the tears. I ran my tongue over my chapped lips, puckering my face at the unexpected taste of salt, as I sat up in my bed. I hung Jordan’s jacket on a hanger before I ventured to the kitchen for breakfast.

“This is our humble abode,” Alicia said as she opened the door revealing her and a camera crew. “And this is the newest addition to our roost, Svetlana.”

I meekly waved as I ate my oatmeal and bananas. “Not to be rude, but what are they doing here?”

“Oh Pittsburgh Ballet Theatre is setting up a YouTube channel and they want videos to post. It’s supposed to be a way to be more relevant and to connect with the ballet fans. They’ll be doing profiles, interviews, a Crib’s-like special, you know the works,” Alicia explained as she continued to give a tour of our apartment.

I scraped the last remnants of oatmeal out of my bowl, ate what was left and washed the bowl. After washing the bowl, I felt the vibration of my cell phone, notifying me of a new text. I giddily opened my phone to see who the text was from, hoping it was Jordan, but I stared puzzled at the unknown number. The text read: “I’ll come down to pick you up for lunch at 12:30 –Alejandro.” I stared at the text confused, I didn’t remember giving him my number.

“Okay,” I texted in reply. I checked the clock it read 10:07 AM, giving me over two hours to get ready. It’s just lunch, I told myself, I don’t need two hours. I sound so hypocritical, I needed 3 hours to get ready for my dinner with Jordan and now I’m saying I need less than 2 hours to get ready for a lunch with another friend. I was pulled out of my thoughts when I heard the door close. “They’re done already?”

“The apartment portion yeah, but they’ll come back later to film us actually living in the apartment. Penny for your thoughts?”

I wrinkled my brow in frustration, “I’m wondering how Alejandro got my number and how much time I’ll need to get ready for lunch with him today,”

“Wait, are you saying that you didn’t give Alex your number.”

“Yeah…” I said trailing off, not seeing where Alicia was going.

“I gave Alex your number because he said he lost it when he changed phones. What a creeper…” Alicia said, “You’re having lunch with him?”

“Yeah he’s coming here at half past noon.”

“And you’re not obsessing about getting ready?” Alicia asked incredulously.

“No, I don’t think I’ll need that much time, it’s only 10,”

“You know what that means don’tcha?”

“No, what does it mean,”

“Means you either have absolutely no interest in him romantically or you guys are so comfortable with each other you don’t need to dress up to impress him. Which is it?”

“Well, I only see him as a friend, so I guess the first?” I said confused.

“Weird, you guys have so much chemistry when you guys are dancing with each other,”

“It’s just acting,” I said with a shrug of my shoulders.

“Yeah but it’s not convincing when you don’t have that spark, and you guys definitely have that spark,” Alicia said.

“Well, I don’t see him in that way,” I said slowly, “We’re just friends.”

“He obviously doesn’t know that,” Alicia pointed out, “He lied to get your number and he’s taking you to lunch. Plus, you guys have great chemistry, so he's probably thinking you guys got this great love connection.”

I sighed, “I guess I’ll have to tell him that I don’t see him as anything other than a friend,”

“Let him down easy, you don’t want to ruin a perfectly good partnership and Alex is a nice guy.” Alicia said.

I nodded, “I will,” I said, “Where’s Anna?” I asked changing the subject.

“Oh shooting some clips and stuff for her profile on YouTube. Isn’t this so cool! Everyone will get to see us and it’s like free promotion,”

“Yeah I guess,” I said unsure of the whole idea, “It seems like everyone will get to see into our personal lives.”

“Oh no it’s not gonna be like that, it’s gonna be more like for the fans, you know? We’ll be able to connect with a whole new audience. The videos will offer tips, interviews, answer questions, you know fun stuff like that.”

“I guess,” I repeated still not as enthusiastic as Alicia.

“It’ll be fun. Don’t be such a kill joy,” Alicia stated, almost demanded, “Should I ask why you came home last night wearing a jacket that’s about twice your size?”

“I’d rather you didn’t,”

“Too bad, I am,” Alicia joked, “Why did you come home last night wearing a jacket that’s about twice your size?”

“Jordan gave it to me to wear because I was cold,” I said reluctantly.

“What’s so bad about that?”

“I don’t know, the way Anna and Robinson looked at me when they saw me wearing it,” I said with a shudder, “They looked at me with all these accusations in their eyes.”

“Nah,” Alicia said reassuringly, “They’re just jealous, don’t mind them.”

“Thanks,” I said softly.

“No problemo, now let’s get you ready to tell Alex that you guys are just friends,” Alicia said as she grabbed my hand and half-led-half-dragged me to my room. After about a half hour of fussing later, I had showered and was dressed in a peachy pink, jersey tank top with sequins and colored thread detailing flowing from the shoulders, black pin stripe shorts and rose gold flats. My dark hair was curled into loose, soft waves and my make up was natural. “Très magnifique, non?” Alicia said in her fake French accent.

“You don’t think it’s a little much? It’s just lunch with a friend,”

“Nope, it’s perfect,” she reassured, “Just don’t spill anything on the shorts,” Alicia joked reminding me that I was borrowing her shorts.

“I promise, I won’t,” I said.

“What time did you say he was coming?” Alicia asked and almost as if on cue there was a knocking on the door, “Speak of the devil,” Alicia said making devil horns with her fingers, “I’ll get it, you just sit tight.” I nodded as I slipped some cash and my cell phone into my pockets. I could hear the usual greetings and formalities between Alicia and Alejandro as she invited him in, “Oh she’s getting ready, you know how we girls are? I’ll go get her for you,” I could hear Alicia say as she knocked on my door and walked in. “Okay, so he’s here, remember the game plan,” Alicia said putting her hands on my shoulders as I nodded, “What’s the game plan, again?”

“Let him down easy, tell him we should just be friends, order water, and split the bill,” I said from memory as Alicia had been drilling it into my head while she had been choosing my outfit.

“And?”

“Don’t spill anything on the shorts,”

“Good girl, now you’re ready,” Alicia said as she lead me out of my room and into the living room where Alejandro was sitting on the couch absentmindedly, reading a magazine.

“Hi,” I said shyly, as I noticed that Alejandro was wearing a pair of black jeans and a casual gray flannel button up with the top buttons undone.

“Hey,” Alejandro said getting up from the couch, “You look good,”

“Thanks, Alicia helped me get ready,” I said looking at the floor, suddenly feeling nervous and shy.

“Well it suits you,” Alejandro said flashing his signature white smile, “We should be heading out, now.”

“Oh yeah sure,” Alicia said as she walked us to the door, “Have fun, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” Alicia added with a wink as she closed the door.

The walk to the elevator and through the lobby was awkward to say the least, it was quiet and neither of us weren’t really sure what to say before finally Alejandro said, “So we’re going to this café, it’s a really casual coffee place. It’s not far so we can just walk.”

“Okay, sure,” I said, “What’s the name of the place?”

“Nicholas Coffee Company, best coffee in all of Pittsburgh,” Alejandro said with a smile as we walked out of the apartment building, with Robinson watching us.

“Oh, I think I’ve been there,” I said softly, but I didn’t think, I knew. I’ve been going to Nicholas Coffee Company every Monday with Jordan, but I didn’t think it would be prudent to share that fact with Alejandro.

“Yup, it’s fantastic, they have great sandwiches,” Alejandro said as he attempted to thread his arm through mine, but I froze instantly and he quickly withdrew his arm.

The rest of the walk was quiet, with only the noise from the street to prevent us from walking in complete silence. And finally, after what seemed ages, we made it to the familiar café I have visited so many times before.

“This is it?” I asked, knowing full well we were here.

“Yeah,” Alejandro said as we walked into the café and sat a table, right in the front window where everyone could see us. A few moments later we received our menus and had ordered, Alejandro had ordered what he called a “Monte Carlo,” which is a ham sandwich that had been deep fried, and I had ordered a grilled chicken and spinach melt.

“That’s an interesting order, not worried about your diet?” I joked.

“Nah,” Alejandro said cockily, “I eat whatever I want, I don’t believe in all those crazy diets. I figure I eat when I’m hungry and I won’t when I’m not.”

“Lucky you,” I said with a hint of jealousy, “I have to talk to you about something,” I add more seriously.

“Okay,” Alejandro said his cocky smile still plastered on his face, “Go ahead.”

I took a deep breath and furrowed my brow before starting, “I really like you,”

“That’s gr-” Alejandro started before I interrupted him.

“No listen, um, I don’t see you in a romantic way, though. I like you, as a friend, and I don’t see us going anywhere beyond that. It’s not your fault, it’s just how I feel. I know this sounds really cliché but we can still be friends and partners, right?” I said as honestly as I could, which Alicia said would be the right way to go, biting my lip as I wait to see his reaction.

Alejandro had his head down, his dark hair falling into his eyes, obscuring his expression, but I didn't have to see his expression to know the cocky smile was gone, “Sure,” he said quietly, “I understand, I can’t make you love me.”

“I’m glad you understand,” I said as I smiled, “Have you heard about the YouTube channel the Company will be posting?” I asked changing the subject.

“Yeah, they filmed at my apartment a few days ago,” Alejandro said his head still down.

“Alicia said it’s going to be really fun, but I’m still kind of apprehensive about the whole thing, what do you think?”

“It should be really cool, what’s to be scared about?” Alejandro said, finally picking his head up and looking me in the eyes.

“I don’t know, I just don’t like the idea that everyone can just look up a video and see where I live and what I do,”

“I see where you’re going but I think once you get in front of the camera you’ll be a natural.”

“Thanks,” I said as our waitress, a curvy redhead named Jane, came and delivered our food.

“Here you go guys,” She said in a breathy voice as she gave Alejandro a flirty smile and batted her eyelashes as she tugged on the hem of her already plunging V-neck shirt to expose more of her cleavage, “Tell me if you need anything,”

“We sure will,” Alejandro said his eyes obviously not on her face but on her chest. He sure did bounce back fast, I thought to myself as I ate my sandwich. Sadly the conversation died out, the lunch became only more awkward when we tried to strike up another conversation, perhaps it was because I had “broke up with him,” perhaps it was because Alejandro didn’t take his eyes off our waitress, but whatever it was the lunch was becoming only more and more unbearable.

“I have to go to the bathroom,” I said in act of desperation.

“Sure,” Alejandro said absently as I got up from our table and snuck off to the bathroom. When I was in the bathroom, I went into a stall and quickly texted Jordan: “Help me! The lunch is a disaster. I’m at Nicholas’s.”

In almost lightening speed, I got a reply: “Sure thing, wait for my call.” I texted back my thanks and I returned to the table.

“How’s your sandwich?” I asked in one final attempt to salvage the lunch.

“It’s good,” Alejandro said, no longer paying attention to me but to our waitress.

“Yeah mine’s good, too,” I said as my cell phone rings, “I have to take this, you don’t mind?”

“Yeah, go ahead.”

“Thanks,” I say as I answer Jordan’s call, “Hi, how are you?” I ask.

“Good, now here’s how you’re going to get out, your friend just got into a car accident now say ‘oh no!’” Jordan instructed, “Sound convincing,”

“Oh no!” I say with mock worry, now catching Alejandro’s attention.

“That was good, okay now say, ‘is he okay?’”

“Is he okay?”

“Perfect, ‘what hospital is he at?’”

“Which hospital is he at?”

“I didn’t say ‘which,’ I said ‘what.’” Jordan said slightly irritated, “Anyways say ‘okay, I’ll wait for you’”

“Okay, I’ll wait.”

“Stop improvising, whatever. Now say, ‘Jordan Staal is the best hockey player in the entire world’” Jordan added jokingly. I fought every impulse to roll my eyes and say ‘You wish,’ as that would ruin the charade, I simply shut my phone shut.

“I have bad news. My friend just got into a car accident and I have to go see him. You don’t mind?” I said my voice fraught with mock worry.

“That’s terrible, of course I don’t mind,” Alejandro said, “Do you need a ride?”

“No, my other friend is going to pick me up here,” I answer as I take out a $20 and lay it on the table, knowing that $20 would be more than enough to pay for lunch, “Sorry, about having to cut lunch short and you know…” I add trailing off.

“Don’t worry about it,” Alejandro said earnestly, “I hope we can put this behind us and just be dance partners and friends,” Alejandro added but I couldn’t help but feel that he had an ulterior motive.

“Sure, I’d love to,” I added and as if on cue, the bells on the door rang out as Jordan entered the café.

“Sveta, I raced here as fast as I could, we have to go,” Jordan said sounding both urgent and distraught.

“Yes, yes of course,” I said, “Sorry about lunch, Alejandro,” I added as Jordan pulled me out of the café.

I eagerly sat in the passenger seat, “You didn’t say the last part,” Jordan teased.

“I would have but that would have been a lie,” I countered.

“Ouch, baby that hurts,” Jordan joked as he gripped his chest in mock pain.

“What can I say, I’m man-eater,” I joked.

“Nice clothes, man-eater,” Jordan said with a smirk as he gave me a once over.

“Alicia helped me get dressed,” I said blushing.

“You look nice,” Jordan said the smirk was replaced with a reassuring smile, “The date was that bad?”

“It wasn’t a date, it was just a lunch,” I clarified, “It wasn’t that bad but it was… awkward. Particularly after I told him that I don’t see him as anything more than a friend.”

“Well, I don’t blame him, you probably bruised his ego a little,” Jordan said as if he was speaking from experience.

“You speak as if you know,” I add.

“Well, I kind of do,” Jordan said.

I was hoping he would say more but when he didn’t I chose not to ask him about it, “Well I don’t think I bruised his ego too much because he started flirting with the waitress, soon after.”

Jordan’s eyes narrowed, “Well then screw him, he’s probably a prick anyways. Only pricks bounce back that fast.”

“Thanks, I guess,” I said, “So where exactly are we going?”

“I was thinking my place,” Jordan said scratching the back of his neck, which I noticed was a habit of his.

“Sure that sounds good, I don’t think I should return the apartment soon it will look suspicious, since I’m supposed to be at the hospital.”

“My place it is,” Jordan said with a smile but not before making a sharp U-turn. The car ride to Jordan’s place was a stark contrast to last night’s ride home, the radio was on, and we chatted and laughed all the way to Jordan’s apartment. “Now it isn’t much, but I only live here during the season. Also, try and excuse the mess,” Jordan said, or warned. I nodded as we walked into Jordan’s apartment. After giving me the tour, I found out it was quite spacious with a kitchen, dining room, living room, two bedrooms, but one was completely void of furniture, and two bathrooms.

“It’s not that bad, I was expecting worse,” I teased considering he was a bachelor living on his own.

“I try,” Jordan shrugged as he went to the kitchen to get a drink, “Make yourself comfortable, you can watch TV or something.”

“Sure,” I said nodding as I sat down on the couch and fiddled with the complicated remote. After surfing the channels, I promptly stopped at a commercial for the Pittsburgh Ballet Theatre. It showed clips of past showcases and us in class.

“Hey, that’s you,” Jordan said, as a video clip of my solo played with a dreamy voice saying, “Don’t miss the new talent at this year’s Showcase” and goes on to list the prices of the tickets and dates of the performances. “You look good,” Jordan said as he sat down on the couch next to me.

“Thanks,” I said softly still in shock, “I didn’t know they were filming us.” I felt violated, like my privacy was being robbed from me. Everything, the YouTube videos, the commercial, Robinson, felt like it was being used to keep tabs on us.

“Relax,” Jordan said, “You looked good in the commercial, don’t worry,”

“It’s not that, it’s just that it feels like an invasion of privacy. The Company is setting up this YouTube channel and will be posting videos about us and then there is Robinson who rarely misses a beat. It feels like nothing is my own anymore,” I said distressed by the situation.

“Don’t say that, you’ve always got me,” Jordan said with a large grin as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

I smiled, “Thanks, that’s really sweet of you to say,”

“It's true,” Jordan said as we locked eyes. I could feel my cheeks heat up from the intensity of his stare. He leaned in closer, to the point where our lips were mere centimeters apart, it took my breath away. Jordan licked his lips, for a split second I thought he was going to kiss me and for a split second, I wanted him to. But he pulled away, taking the remote out of my hands and scrolled through the channels. After several sitcoms and TV movies later, I had fallen asleep with my head resting on Jordan’s shoulder, for how long I’m not sure but when Jordan tried to remove his arm from around my shoulder, the movement broke the fragile spell of my sleep. “Morning Sleeping Beauty,” Jordan said.

“I’m so sorry!” I exclaimed, “I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” I pleaded.

“Don’t worry,” Jordan laughed, “It’s alright. By the way, the guys want to go out to a club tonight. You want to come?”

“Umm,” I said unsure, I was never interested in the party and club scene back at home.
“It’ll be fun, drinking, dancing, partying,” Jordan said persuasively.

“Sure, I guess I’ll go,” I said reluctantly.

“Great, the guys will be ecstatic!” Jordan exclaimed as he quickly started texting on his phone.

“What time is it?” I ask rubbing the last of the sleep out of my eyes.

“Like 6:27, almost 6:30,” Jordan said reading the time off his phone, “You hungry?” Jordan asked.

“Just a little, what time are you guys going to the club?”

“What time are we going to the club,” Jordan corrected, “Around 10, so we can have dinner at 7 and we can get ready by 9 and then we can go to the club. So we’ll be good, time wise at least.”

“I don’t have any clubbing clothes,” I said softly, looking down at what I was wearing.

“What you have on is alright,” Jordan said, “If you want, call Vero, I’m sure she’ll lend you some clothes.”

I nod, as I assess my outfit, I could probably get away with just exchanging the flats for high heels, which was remedied when I texted Vero my need for black high heels. Suddenly my phone started to ring out the familiar bars of Swan Lake, it was Alicia.

“Hello?” I said more like a question than a greeting.

“Hi, I know it’s a little late but I was just calling to see how the lunch went,”

“Terrible,” I sighed, “I mean I guess he took pretty well since he started flirting with our waitress right after.”

“He bounced back fast, oh well. Where are you now?”

“I’m at Jordan’s place, he picked me up from the café and I’m going to go to a club with him and his teammates tonight. So, uh, if I don’t come back then can you bring me some of my dance stuff? I have everything ready in my dance bag, it’s by my nightstand in my room,”

“Sure, no problem. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do and remember safe sex is happy sex,”

“Alicia!” I exclaimed, my cheeks rapidly turning to a shade of red.

“What? It’s the truth. Just be careful. Don’t get too wild and try not turn into Paris Hilton, or Anna, in one night,” Alicia said more seriously.

“Paris who?” I asked confused.

“Never mind, just don’t do anything you’ll regret in the morning and easy on the alcohol. I know you’re Russian but you have class and first day of rehearsals tomorrow.”

“I will, Mom,” I said jokingly.

“Good, now don’t forget to check in and remember if you aren’t going to make it for curfew just find a place to crash and I’ll meet you at the Theatre.”

“Of course,” I said as Jordan pantomimed wildly, which I think meant that we were going to go out to eat soon. “I think I have to go,” I said, “Bye.”

“Bye, be safe!” Alicia exclaimed before I closed my phone, ending the call.

“You want to go eat, there’s a little place across from here,” Jordan said as he grabbed his wallet off the counter.

“Sure,” I said getting up from my seat on the couch, patting my left pocket, making sure my money was there.

“I hope you don’t mind, but we’ll just walk, since it’s so close.” Jordan said as we exited the building.

“Not at all,” I said as we strolled to a diner. After a light dinner of turkey burgers for me and steak for Jordan, we were back in his apartment getting ready. Actually, more like Jordan was getting ready and I was sitting on the couch waiting for Vero and Marc so that I can change my shoes.

“Um, Sveta,” Jordan said, scratching the back of his neck, as he appeared from his room, bare-chested, wearing only a pair of black slacks and a black belt, and holding a wrinkled light green dress shirt with thin, white vertical stripes.

For a moment, I was mesmerized, I just stared at the perfectly formed, defined muscles of his torso and abdomen, “Yes,” I said managing to regain my focus.

“Can you iron my shirt? I’m really terrible at these things,” Jordan said before a smirk appeared on his face as he caught me staring, “I know my, abs are really that amazing,”
“I’ll iron your shirt for you,” I said feeling my cheeks heat up at his last statement.
“Drink it up,” Jordan teased, “Cause once you iron that shirt, the view’s gotta go,” I just lowered my head, focusing my eyes on the floor. “I got the ironing board and the iron set up in my room.”

I nodded as I focused my eyes on the floor, keeping my head down, hoping that he won’t see the scarlet flush on my cheeks. I walked into his room, with an ironing board and iron set up at the foot of his bed. I smoothed the linen covering of the ironing board and set the iron on the lowest setting, how Mamma taught me.

“Here you go,” Jordan startled me by whispering in my ear, his breath hot against my neck. My breath was snatched out of my body as I closed my eyes, his body flush against mine. I could feel the ripples of his muscle pressed against my back. Jordan dropped the dress shirt on the ironing board, he was so close I could feel the curve of his cheek as he smirked and spoke, “Tell me when you’re done,” and with that he left the room.

I didn’t notice it till he left, but my heart was racing and my breathing was short. I took a few slow, deep breathes to calm my pounding heart and compose myself before picking up the iron, and ironed the shirt the way Mamma showed me: working from the center out, starting from the collar and eventually moving my way down to the shoulders, then ironing out the wrinkles on the sleeves and cuffs, then pressing the front and back panels crisp and ironing the panels between the buttons last. I hung the shirt on a hanger and turned off the iron. I swiftly exited the room to find Jordan lying on the couch, wearing only his black dress pants and black dress shoes. “I-I’m done,” I stutter, chastising myself for being so hypnotized, “I-I hung it in your room,” I managed to get out before turning a brick red.

“Sure thing, Sveta,” Jordan said getting up from the couch, walking to his room and as he passed me, he rubbed my shoulder, “Thanks Sveta,” he said flashing me his signature smile.

“Your welcome.”



After Jordan finished dressing, much to the chagrin of a part of me, albeit a small part, we simply waited for the others to show up, we didn’t speak. There was nothing to say really, we just sat there, enjoying each other’s company. I turned to look at Jordan, studying his profile, the true blue eyes, which were brightened by the green of his shirt, the defined line of his high cheekbone, a chin dimple punctuating his strong jaw line, Jordan turned to lock eyes with me, “Were you staring at me?” he asked.

“No,” I said flustered, focusing my attention on my hands that were twisting nervously in my lap.

“It’s alright, I know I’m pretty amazing to look at,” Jordan said with a cocky grin, “I have that effect on people.” I was at a loss for words, I didn't want to admit that I was so obviously gawking at him but I couldn't think of a witty reply either. Thankfully I was interrupted by the knocking on the door. “I’ll get it,” Jordan said as he got up to answer the door, “Hey! Long time, no see,” He greeted sarcastically, “Yeah, Sveta’s here, she’s over there on the couch. Sveta!”

“Hi,” I greeted them both, as I hugged Vero, wearing in a strapless turquoise dress with gold metallic jacquard finish that skimmed the tops of her knees, then Marc, dressed in dark jeans and a white dress shirt.

“I have your shoes, and I brought some makeup in case you wanted to freshen up,” Vero said holding up a bag.

“Thank you so much,” I thanked earnestly as exchanged my flats for the black, peep toe high heels but I didn’t bother putting on more make up, since it would probably melt off in a club packed full of people.

“No problem, nice outfit,” Vero complemented.

“Thanks, my roommate put it together, you look great too,”

“Thanks,” Vero said, “You and Jordan?” she asked in a hushed voice, her eyes darting from me to Jordan and back to me.

“Didn’t we go through this already?” I asked jokingly.

“Come on, nothing happened? The sexual tension between you two is so thick, you could cut it with a knife.”

“Well…” I said trailing off, not sure what to say as I recalled the incident in Jordan’s bedroom, “There was the incident in the bedroom,” but before I could continue, Marc interjected.

“I think we should get going now,” Marc said, “Kris is already there and he’s getting antsy. We’re taking separate cars, in case one of you guys wants to leave late, or early,” Marc finished with a winked.

“Okay,” I said as Vero and I got up and walked out of the apartment with Marc and Jordan in tow. It was a late summer and warm, but I couldn’t help but still feel bare in my filmy blouse and shorts that skimmed my thighs. I sat in the passenger seat of Jordan’s car as we drove to the nightclub.

“It’s called Diesel,” Jordan said, “It’s got great music and dancing. Plus, there’s open bar on the VIP level, so it’s pretty amazing.”

“Sounds great, but I’ve never really been out clubbing,” I admitted, biting my bottom lip.

“Never?” Jordan asked in disbelief, “You can’t be serious?”

“I am,” I replied, “We weren’t allowed to go out past 9:30 on the weekdays and my weekends were usually spent visiting my relatives.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Jordan said, “You know what that means, we gotta show you a good first time.”

“Thanks,” I replied softly.

“No problem, tonight we’re going to have you forget all your stresses and just have fun,” Jordan said with a genuine grin as he parked his car in the parking lot of the nightclub. As I got out of the car, I could feel the pounding bass emanating from the packed club. Jordan led me past the long queue winding around the building, and entered through the velvet rope. I had never noticed it before but, Jordan must have been wildly popular because as we passed the line, a group of girls, all wearing a variation of the same outfit: short dress, high heels, and a face full of make up, screamed his name. I could have sworn that as they spotted me, they gave me a venomous look that if looks could kill, I’d be dead on the spot. Jordan merely acknowledged them by coolly smiling and giving them thumbs up, which elicited more screaming and giggling from the pack of girls. “Don’t mind them, they’re just puck bunnies,” Jordan whispered in my ear as we entered the club, which was filled with loud music and people.

“Puck bunnies?” I asked, never hearing the term before.

“I’ll explain it to you later,” Jordan said enigmatically as he led me to the upstairs, apparently where the VIP lounge was located, his hand on the small of my back as if to reassure me that he was still with me. The music was quieter, but not by much, and there was far less people than there was downstairs but still, the dance floor was filled with people dancing and swaying to the syncopated beats.

“Hey!” Kris exclaimed as he saw us from the booth, “Took you guys long enough. I probably looked pathetic sitting in this booth on my own.”

I slid into the booth sitting next to Jordan, “You can’t look pathetic, Kris. You’re freaking Kris Letang,” Jordan said.

“That’s true,” Kris said with a shrug of his shoulders, “Where’s Marc and Vero? Didn’t you guys come here together?”

It didn’t occur to me that they weren’t this until now, “They did, but I guess we lost ‘em in the sea of people,” Jordan replied nonchalant.

“They know where we are,” Kris said coolly as took a sip of his beer.

“Now, Sveta here has never been to a club in her life,” Jordan said, “So we gotta show her a great time.”

Kris’s eyes widened, “What? No way, never?”

“Yes, I have never been in a club. Why is that so hard to believe?”

“Well, don’t take it personal but it’s kind of hard to believe that any person over the age of 18 has never been in a club,” Kris explained.

“Believe it,” I teased as I saw Max and Sidney, gesturing for them to come over. Max wore a black dress shirt and dark jeans, with his hair artfully styled with gel, while Sidney was wearing a casual T-shirt and jeans topped off with a beanie.

“Svetlana, you have to dance with me by the end of tonight,” Max said as he slid into the booth, next to me, “Hope you don’t mind me sitting next to you but I don’t want to be sitting next to Sidney while he’s wearing that,” Max teased.

“Hey!” Sidney defended, “It’s okay to be casual.”

“Sure thing,” Max said rolling his eyes. Soon after, Max and Vero suddenly appeared, cheeks flushed, as they took a seat in our ever growing booth.

“Okay, I’m going to all order some shots,” Jordan said as he ventured to the bar, “I’ll get two extra for when Geno and McGee show up.” My heart quickened as I heard his name, I needed to talk to him. I needed to tell him and confess everything to him. I needed to convince him to leave Oksana for me. Jordan eventually came back setting a shot glass of an unknown liquid in front of all of us, “Okay, we have to wait till Geno comes, then we can drink,” Jordan said, causing everyone to groan.

“Come on, this is team building,” Sidney argued.

“Whatever,” Max groaned, “He better come soon, I’m not going to waste an hour waiting for Geno and McGee.”

“If it helps, he just texted me that they’re almost here,” Vero offered sheepishly.

“Um, should I ask what this is?” I asked Jordan, staring at the shot glass.

“No,” Jordan said with a smirk, “But you’ll feel it on the way down.”

“Should I be scared?”

“Nah, if you’re with us, you shouldn’t. We do a pretty good job of keeping everyone safe from creepers,” Jordan reassured.

“Okay,” I said nodding, as I saw Geno, dressed in a plaid, grey and black shirt, and Oksana, wearing a purple dress that looked more like a blouse than a dress.

“Thank god,” I heard Kris say as they sat down, “What took you guys so long?”

“You don’t want to know,” Oksana purred.

“Okay, you know what, let’s just drink and get the night started,” Kris said, making a gagging sound.

“To a night that we’ll never forget, or regret,” Jordan said as we all raised our shot glasses.

“Cheers!” We chorused as we all drank. The liquid burned on the way down, making me wince.

“What was that?” I ask my mouth puckered from the taste.

“Tequila,” Max said unaffected, “You’re such a light weight.”

“I’ve drank vodka before,” I defended.

“Well, you’re in the big leagues now,” Jordan teased, “I’m going to get some more drinks, I think I’ll get you something lighter.” Jordan returned with a beer and a glass of a red liquid. “This is for you,” placing the glass in front of me.

“What is it?” I say observing the ruby colored elixir with an orange slice floating in it.

“A variation on a negroni, a negroski,” which earned a chuckle from Max as he jokingly hit Jordan’s arm, “Its vodka, vermouth and campari. Go ahead, it’s good,” Jordan said with his signature smirk.

“Okay,” I said nodding apprehensively. I took a sip of the deep red potion which was surprisingly sweet with an oddly bitter aftertaste.

“Good?” Jordan asked.

“It’s okay,” I said taking a few more sips.

“I’m impressed,” Max said, “That’s a pretty strong drink, you don’t feel it yet?”

“No,” I said shaking my head, which earned me a nod of approval from Max, "At least not yet."

“You’re not such a light weight after all,” Max said impressed.

After I drank the rest of my cocktail, Jordan quickly ordered me more. After I don’t know how many drinks, “I’m going to get some more,” I said with the liquid confidence surging through my veins. I made my way to the bar alone, despite Jordan's protests, “A negroski, please,” I said to the bartender.

“That’s a pretty strong drink,” said a man with greasy hair, a white shirt that was unbuttoned to practically his naval and tight-fitting designer jeans.

“I guess it is,” I replied meekly, all the courage that had been coursing through my bloodstream dissipated.

“Now, I would like to know what a girl, as pretty as you, is doing all alone at the bar,” he asked inching closer to me.

“I guess I can take care of myself,” I said mustering up all the confidence I could.

“Really now?” he asked raising an eyebrow moving even closer to me, I could smell the alcohol on his breath and his arm was touching mine.

“I-I think I should go,” I said moving away from the bar, away from him, but before I could he grabbed my wrist. “You’re hurting me,” I said as he tightened his grip around my wrist.

He pulled me closer to him, he was only a few inches taller than me but he seemed so domineering now, “Look, you’re not going anywhere, except home with me,” he said in a menacing voice.

“No,” I whimpered as I could feel my knees buckling in fear as a sickening grin crept onto his face.

“I think the lady said ‘no,’” I heard Jordan say in a low voice. I turned to see that Jordan, Sidney, Kris, Tyler and Max were standing there staring him down.

“Look this doesn’t concern you guys,” he said, tightening the grip on my wrist.

“The hell it doesn’t!” Jordan said through gritted teeth, and something was in his eyes, something that I’ve never seen before.

“She’s a friend, so yeah I think it does concern us,” Max said mockingly.

“You’re gonna let her go, or we’re gonna have to take outside,” Kris said, cracking his knuckles.

“We don’t want trouble,” Sidney reasoned, “But if you don’t let our friend go, things are going to get ugly.”

“Trust us, you don’t want things to get ugly,” Tyler said.

“Geez,” the man said promptly dropping my bruised wrist, “Take her, she probably won’t even be a good lay.”

“You asked for it,” Jordan spat as he punched the man in the face, square on the jaw, “Fucking asshole. Let’s go Sveta, sorry about that but I told you we’re pretty protective and that guy was being a dick.”

I only nodded as he started to walk me to the booth. I was rattled by the whole experience. The event was incredibly sobering, I stayed quiet as I sat down next to a concerned Jordan who had his arm wrapped protectively around me.

“It matches your eyes,” A slightly drunk Kris told me.

“What?” I asked slightly confused, I wasn’t sure if it was the drinks or the loud music or what had just transpired but my head was swimming.

“My drink,” Kris slurred slightly, gesturing to his shot glass that was filled with a golden liquid, probably rum or Jack Daniels judging by the semi-filled bottle next to him.

“Thank you,” I said puzzled.

“You know Jordan’s being all protective of you because he lov-” Kris continued to slur, much to Jordan’s horror, before being interrupted by Max.

“Now you have to dance with me,” Max said grabbing my hand, leading me to the dance floor, “I’ll take care of her,” Max said in reaction to the worried look on Jordan’s face, “You gotta forget about what happened, just dance it all away,” Max said as we enter the fray of people. He pulled me close and placed his hands on my hips, swaying them to the beat of the music. I nodded and let the music take over, I just danced everything away, letting my body move to the electronic rhythm.

“Just dance, gonna be okay, dance, just dance,” the singer sang as the song ended and the song switched to a slower tempo song, a ballad. Max led me off the dance floor and back to our booth with only Evgeni and Oksana still there. “You’re a good dancer,” Max said.

“Well, what can I say, I’m a professional,” I teased, “You’re not too bad yourself.”

“I’m gonna get myself a drink, you wanna come?” Max asked.

“No, I think I want to rest for a little bit,” I replied sitting down next to Evgeni.

“You know what, I’ll come with you, I want to get a drink, too,” Oksana said getting up from the table, much to Max’s chagrin. This was my chance, I needed to talk to Evgeni.

“It’s been a while,” I said in Russian, letting the familiar language and sounds roll off my tongue.

“Yes, yes it has,” Evgeni replied back in Russian, “Why have you come, Lana?” he asked solemnly still in Russian.

“For you,” I replied honestly, “For you, my love,” the tears welling in my eyes.

“I thought you understood,” Evgeni said furrowing his brow, “Didn’t you understand?”

“What is there to understand? I came to find you, you stopped writing me so I came to find you,” I pleaded.

“I stopped writing. I stopped writing because I thought you understood that I found someone else,” Evgeni said his brown eyes full of sadness.

“Wh-what?” I said my voice cracking, “How can you find someone else? How can you forget everything we ever had?”

“We were children, Lana,” Evgeni said sharply.

“I love you, just please, please love me,” I must have sounded pathetic begging for him to love me like he did so long ago.

“I’m sorry,” was all Evgeni said, “I just don’t feel the same way,”

“What we felt? You can’t just write that off, you can’t possible be that cold-hearted. How can you forget all the memories that we shared? We were supposed to grow old together,” I pleaded.

“I’m sorry, Lana, I just- I just don’t love you any more. It’s not your fault, it’s just how I feel. We can still be friends, right?” It’s not your fault, it’s just how I feel that’s what I said to Alejandro, when I told him I didn’t intend for us to be anything more than friends, how the tables have turned.

“How can you say that? How can you pretend like there was nothing between us?” I said as a single tear escaped and traced its way down my cheek.

“I’m not pretending, Lana,” Evgeni said staring at the table.

“You were everything. I gave everything for you. I could have gone to London or Paris, you know how much I loved London. But I threw it all away, just to see you because I knew deep in my heart you loved me. I’ve cried so many tears for you,”

“I’m sorry for all the tears I made you cry, but this really is goodbye, Lana. I don’t know what else to say, I just don’t love you any more. I really am sorry,” Evgeni finished in Russian, still looking down at the table, not even able to look me in the eyes.