I Left My Heart in Moscow but My Love Waits in Pittsburgh

Between meeting and chatting to nearly everyone, I scarcely realized that it was nearly dinner time. While I was talking to plenty of people, I kept my distance from Oksana which also meant I kept my distance from Evgeni. I found myself lying on the couch watching the guys play NHL 10 with Jordan sitting next to me with his arm draped around my shoulders.

“Gronk?” Tyler asked gesturing to a controller, “Want to take my place? I’m gonna get some water,”

“No, it’s okay,” Jordan responded.

“You don’t want to play?” I asked, feeling a pang of guilt for preventing him from having fun with his teammates.

“Nah, I like laying here with you, besides they are way too competitive,” Jordan reassured.

“Well, that’s ironic seeing as you are a professional athlete,” I pointed out.

“I’m competitive, but they’re just way too competitive,” Jordan explained.

“Gronk?” I asked confused, "Pet name?" I teased.

“Ha, one of my many nicknames that my old friend Colby Armstrong gave me.”

“Gronk, like the comic book character?” I asked.

“You know comic books?” Jordan asked in disbelief.

“There used to be this American guy in the dorms in Russia and he liked to read comic books,” I explained.

“Ah, I see, yeah like the comic book. I supposedly look like a big kid on the ice which is how I got the nickname,”

“You act like a big kid too,” I teased, “Any other nicknames?”

“What is this 20 questions?”

“20 questions?” I asked unsure of what Jordan was referring to.

“You know, 20 questions, the game where you ask someone 20 questions about themselves and they have to tell the truth,” Jordan explained.

“Oh, okay. Then, yes this is 20 questions. I want to know more about you,”

“Alright, I want to know more about you, too." Jordan said, "I’ve had a couple like Staalsy and Jord but Gronk is probably the most common one. How about you? Do you have any other nicknames other than Sveta?”

“Well, just one, Lana, but that’s it,” Lana, I thought, he gave it to me, “What are your dreams and ambitions?” I asked quickly trying to take my thoughts off of him.

“That’s easy, win the Stanley Cup, of course. But shhh, I’m not supposed to talk about it. You? Any hopes and dreams?”

“I want to dance with the New York City Ballet or the American Ballet Theatre, two of the biggest companies in the entire world,” I said starry-eyed, “That’s my dream.”

“You’re so cute, you’re like a little girl or something,” Jordan teased, “Your turn ask me a question.”

“Which of your brothers is your favorite?”

“Come on,” Jordan said, “I can’t answer that, I love them all equally.”

“They aren’t even here, its okay you can admit it. I won’t tell, I promise.”

“I don’t know, Eric, I guess. He always takes my side, maybe because we’re both blondes.” Jordan said, “Okay, here’s a good one. How many boyfriends have you had?”

I blushed instantly at the question, “One.”

“One? One!” Jordan exclaimed. “How can someone like you only have had one boyfriend? We’re counting serious relationships and casual hook-ups here.”

“Yeah, I’ve only had one serious relationship and absolutely zero casual ones,”

“You’re not a lesbian, right? Not that I have anything against lesbians, it’s just are you?”

“No, no! Of course not, there’s nothing wrong with lesbians but I’m not one that’s for sure.”

“Then how can you have only one relationship, you’re like my age,”

“I don’t know, I guess it’s a combination of protective parents and having a profession that ends when your 30, if you’re lucky. I spent my teenage years practically living in the studio.”

“What a waste of a question, I was hoping to get something juicy,”

“How abou-” I was about to ask him the same question but I stopped myself because deep down inside I didn’t want to know. I didn’t need, or want, to know how many girlfriends and casual “hook-ups” Jordan’s had because inside I knew that the number was large and it scared me to know just how large it was. “What does you’re family do?”

“We own a sod farm,” Jordan said proudly, “In the summer, after the season, me and brothers help my parents out on the farm until camp begins.”

“What’s sod?”

“Well, sods… my life, or at least it was my life,” Jordan joked, “If I didn’t have hockey, I’d probably have taken over the farm. But sod’s grass and the soil that has the roots, you know like the grass on a golf course or turf, not the plastic kind but the nice grass kind. The kind you roll out.”

“Oh yeah, Jordan definitely likes sod, one time we were playing golf and Jordan just kept going on and on about the grass,” Tyler remarked as he came back into the room.

“Hey, it was good quality sod. By that way that counts as a question,”

“What! I was just wondering, what sod was,” I defended.

“Hey a question’s, a question,” Jordan reasoned with a shrug of his shoulders. “How old were you when you had your first kiss?” Jordan asked with smirk, which I assumed meant that he was expecting a “juicy” story.

“I was 15,” I said blushing as the question provoked old memories.

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It was right after my recital, the first recital where I had a leading role. I snuck out of my room and went to the lake that was a little behind my home. The sky was a dark blue and the moon, round and full, with the stars twinkling with no dark clouds to obstruct them. I sat on the green grass when I heard clapping behind me and Evgeni saying, “Brava! Brava!” I immediately got up and gave him a hug, “You really were amazing, Lana,” he whispered in my ear as we embraced. After that we just sat on the grass and talked, when Evgeni suddenly asked, “Have you ever kissed someone?” I merely shook my head, no. “Me neither.” We sat in a silence, merely enjoying the presence of one another. When Evgeni said, “I’ll walk you home, it’s getting late,” I nodded as we made our way to my home. As we stood outside the open window that I used to sneak out, Evgeni suddenly pressed his lips against mine in a chaste kiss and he hurriedly said his goodbyes and ran back to his house.

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“Are you going to tell me about it?” Jordan asked pulling me out of my thoughts.

“That’s another question!” I exclaimed, “If you want to know how it happened then you’ll have to ask another question,” I added mysteriously.

“What? That’s like built into the question! Fine,” Jordan pouted, “How did your first kiss happen?”

“My boyfriend was walking me home and before I went inside, he just kissed me,” I said, oversimplifying the story, still hesitant to ‘spill the beans’ -as Alicia would say- about Evgeni.

“That’s it?” Jordan said in disbelief, “No offense but you have a boring love life.”

“I was 15!” I defended.

“Yeah, yeah but how old is 15 really? I mean, when I was 15, I was already playing with the Petes in the OHL and I was already planning on entering the NHL draft.”

“Well that’s one thing we have in common,”

“What do you mean?”

“Ha!” I exclaimed, “That counts as another question!”

“I’ve created a monster,” Jordan groaned, “It’s not a contest, you know?”

“Hey, a question’s a question,” I said in a mocking tone, mimicking how he said it earlier, “And this is kind of like a contest, who can learn more about each other.”

“Still not a contest,”

“Whatever, your just mad because you’re losing,” I added teasingly, “Anyways, when I was 15, I was starting my pre-professional classes and I had already accepted an offer to join the Bolshoi ballet,” I said nostalgic for the past, “We both had our futures set by 15,” I added more somberly.

“Yeah, I guess we did,” Jordan said, “But those choices at 15 brought me here and it brought you here. Your turn, ask me a question.”

“Why hockey? Out of all sports, why did you choose hockey?”

“Seriously? I’m Canadian, it’s what we do and my dad built this great outdoor rink, it was incredible. It was like the Taj Mahal of all outdoor hockey rinks,” Jordan said with a glazed over look in his eyes, “I guess it wasn’t really a choice but it wasn’t forced on me at the same time.”

“Me too!” I said excitedly, “With ballet it was like a tradition in my family that I should do ballet but I just loved it the entire time so it wasn’t necessarily forced upon me.”

“The similarities are just mounting, aren’t they?” Jordan joked.

“Yeah, they are. What is your hometown like?” I asked.

“Where to start with Thunder Bay… it’s your typical small town, lots of farms and green everywhere, but in the winter everything is white and covered by snow. If you go downtown, it’s like a big city, lots of buildings and some nightlife, but most kids go out of town if they want to club or they go to a barn party, if it’s summer. Aside from the semi-hardcore party scene, it’s a nice, quiet place, a great place to grow up,” Jordan said looking off into space as if he was imagining himself there.

“Sounds great,” I said, looking at how starry-eyed Jordan was as he described his hometown, “You must really love it there.”

“You should come see it sometime,” Jordan said as he turned his head, locking his blue eyes with my golden ones. In that moment, we weren’t just friends, we were more. In that moment, I was suddenly felt more aware of his arm that was wrapped around my shoulders, more aware of how close our bodies were. In that moment, I felt the sudden urge to press my lips against his in a ‘chaste kiss.’ In that moment, I felt a spark, a flicker that made my heart skip a beat. And I think, in that moment, he felt it too because he leaned in. Our cheeks nearly brushing, as he whispered in my ear, “Your turn.” My eyes fluttered shut, as his lips brushed against my cheek while he spoke, “Describe me your hometown,” he continued. The moment felt so intimate, so personal.

I opened my mouth to answer, but I was interrupted by the loud cheers of Evgeni and Sidney and the groans of Max and Kris. The loud cheers destroyed the moment, the intimacy. We immediately pulled away from each other and tried to figure out what just happened.

“I’m so happy for you baby! I knew you would win!” Oksana said in her signature nasally, high voice, as she sat in his lap and did to Evgeni what Alicia would call “tonsil hockey.”

“Get a room!” Practically everyone in the room shouted, as they threw pillows at the couple, which earned them a sheepish grin from Evgeni and, thankfully, made them promptly stop.

“Time for dinner!” Vero proclaimed as she emerged from the kitchen.

As we all filed into the dining room, I found myself sitting between Max, who I haven’t talked to yet, and Jordan.

“Max Talbot,” Max said offering me his hand which I shook.

“Svetlana Khitrova, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Believe me, the pleasure is all mine,” Max said wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, which made me laugh.

“Nice try Max, but she’s a nice girl,” Tyler joked.

“Nice girls are the ones you have to look out for,” Max said wiggling his eyebrows again.
Tyler just sighed as the food was being served. “So you’re a ballerina?” Max asked, like everyone else.

“Yup,” I said, “Living the dream.”

Max chuckled, “I did ballet once, at hockey camped,” his eyes narrowed, “It sucked.”

“I’m assuming you weren’t good at it,” I teased.

“You could say that, but let’s just say I have plenty of respect for what you do.”

“I’m glad,” I said as I eagerly ate the food set before me, “I had to spend a good amount of time trying to get Kris to be at least semi-interested in ballet.”

“That’s Kris, we go, as a team, to the ballet a lot to show that we support the arts. So maybe we’ll get to see you perform as Giselle or Odette soon.”

“I doubt that I’ll get the lead roles, besides I think we’re doing a new production this year, Moulin Rouge so you’ll more likely seem me can-canning across the stage.”

“See Tyler, it’s the good girls you got to look out for,” Max nudged as he winked at me, “Hear that she’ll be can-canning across the stage soon.” Max added with his perfect French, “Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?” repeating the famous line from the song "Lady Marmalade."

“Dans tes rêves, (In your dreams)” I replied, rolling my eyes, ballet had several French terms and it was customary for us to learn the language at the Academy.

“Vous parlez français? (You speak French?)” Max asked in disbelief.

“Bien sûr, (Of course,)” I said.

“Jordan, I like this one, don’t mess it up,” Max said to Jordan.

“We’re not dating,” Jordan and I said in unison, earning us a confused look from Max, “We’re just friends,” I added.

“Ah, just friends, much better! That means that you guys can’t break up and I have a chance with you,” Max said winking at me. I instantly felt the blood rush to my cheeks.

“Look Max, you got her blushing,” Tyler teased.

“Don’t be too proud, Max. She blushes easy,” Jordan added jokingly.

“You would know?” Max asked raising one eyebrow.

“I would, we are friends, after all,” Jordan added with a mysterious smirk earning an eyebrow raise from both Max and Tyler.

“What part of Russia are you from?” Oksana asked when she detached herself from Evgeni. The question made Evgeni look at me, for the first time since lunch, he looked at me with pleading eyes, eyes asking me to not tell them about us.

“Hmm, oh Southern Russia, the Southwestern part of Russia,” I answer vaguely.

“Oh, wasn’t there like a nuclear accident there in the 50’s?” Oksana asked insinuatingly.

“Actually that was in Chelyabinsk, which is in the same region but it’s not where I’m from,” I clarify.

“What city do you come from?” Oksana asked, pressing the subject more.

“Magnitogorsk,” I said sharply, her tone made me want to rip out all of her fake blonde hair.

“Oh that’s the place with all the pollution, right?” Oksana said with fake smile plastered on her face.

“Well it is a factory city, but I grew up near the river, some distance from the city, so the pollution wasn’t as bad,” I clarified.

“Magnitogorsk,” Sidney said slowly, as if testing the foreign sounds of the word on his tongue, “Isn’t that where you’re from Geno?”

“Yeah, it is,” Evgeni said simply.

“How weird, you guys grew up in the same place but you guys didn’t meet till you both left your hometowns,” Sidney said in disbelief, “It’s like fate or something.”

“Yeah, how strange,” I said looking Evgeni right in the eyes, “What part of Magnitogorsk did you grow up in?”

“More in the city, close to the old stadium,” Evgeni said tersely.

“That’s so weird. I used to go to the ballet academy near there. Odd our paths never crossed.”

“Maybe our paths did cross but we just never noticed each other,” Evgeni said. My hands trembled in my lap as I wondered how I could keep up this charade, this charade where Evgeni and I were nothing but two strangers but sadly, it felt like this charade was becoming less and less a charade, and more and more true.

“I find that hard to believe. How can you not notice a girl like Sveta?” Kris asked, coming to my rescue.

“Yeah, how can he notice Tits McGee but not Sveta?” Max muttered low enough so that the ‘loving couple’ wouldn’t hear him.

“That’s sweet of you guys to say, but there are a lot of people in Magnitogorsk, so it doesn’t surprise me if we had met and if he didn’t remember me,”

“I think I’d remember you,” Evgeni said cryptically.

“I think I’d remember you, too,” I replied softly with a slight smile which Evgeni returned with his own smile, a smile of knowing and thanks for keeping up the charade.

“So why did you come to Pittsburgh? I mean you must have had other offers from other companies,” Oksana said, effectively ruining our moment, “Unless you weren’t that good.”

“If you must know, I had offers from London, Berlin, and Paris, but I chose Pittsburgh because it reminded me of home.” And there was someone from home, here too, I thought but would never say out loud. “Magnitogorsk’s city plan was based off of Pittsburgh and both are prominent centers of steel production. Also, I’ve always wanted to dance with the New York City Ballet or the American Ballet Theatre. I figured I would have a better chance of them noticing me here, in the United States,” I replied dryly, taken aback by her rudeness. “Besides, I heard that Pittsburgh had a great hockey team,” I added with a smirk. I’m not a person who relishes in the pain of others, but at that moment I was. I relished the scowl that was on Oksana’s face.

“Yeah, it does!” Tyler exclaimed referring to my comment about Pittsburgh having a great hockey team.

“Oh, so Pittsburgh is just a stepping stone for you,” Oksana said after composing herself with an evil grin on her face.

“I guess that makes two of us,” I reply with a smug smirk as my comment wiped the grin right off her face. I’ve never been this mean before, even when I wanted and tried to, but something about Oksana made me like this.

“Nice one ballerina!” Max remarked, barely containing his glee, “High 5!” I sheepishly grinned as I “high fived” him. But, I instantly regretted what I said, my insides churned as the scene kept repeating and repeating in my head. When I looked at Evgeni, the look on his face was one of questioning, pleading, asking me why I just did what I did, and to be honest all I could do was shrug because I did not even know why I did what I did. An awkward silence filled the room. It settled upon us like heavy snow, blanketing everything.

“Today’s been fun, but I think it’s time for us to leave,” Evgeni said as he got up from the table, “And Oksana’s tired, I’ll see you guys on Monday at practice. It’s been nice meeting you, Svetlana.”

As we all chorused our goodbyes, I started to make my way to them, I wanted to walk them out, I wanted to apologize to Oksana, and I wanted, most of all, to talk to Evgeni. But before I could, someone grabbed my arm, “What do you think you’re doing?” I turned to see that it was Jordan. “Don’t tell me you’re going to apologize. It’s all over your face, you’re guilt ridden. She deserved it, with the way she’s been acting towards you, towards all of us, she deserved it.” Jordan reassured as he pulled me down to sit down next to him on the couch. “Let’s get back to our game of 20 questions,” Jordan whispered in my ear, so close that I could feel his hot breath on my neck.