Status: Renovation in process
I Left My Heart in Moscow but My Love Waits in Pittsburgh
20 Questions, Part Deux
Why are you doing this? The question echoed in my head as I whispered in Sveta’s ear the answer to the last question in our game of 20 questions, I knew that I was closer than I should be. I was close enough that I could smell her strawberry-scented hair, my lips brushed against the supple skin of her cheek- Why are you doing this? We’re just friends. You're doing this because you’re jealous. You’re jealous of how close Sveta’s gotten with Kris, Tyler and Max, and she seems to have this Russian connection with Geno. You’re jealous of how Max flirted with her at dinner, you’re jealous of how Geno looked at Sveta, you’re jealous of how Kris rubbed her shoulder and whispered to her at lunch, like they shared a secret only they knew. You shouldn’t be jealous, you introduced them to her, you practically threw her into their arms. Besides, we’re just friends. No you’re jealous because you don’t want to be just friends, my subconscious told me, that’s why you’re whispering in her ear and flirting with her. You’re claiming her, marking her as your’s. God, I’m like a dog or something, “So pathetic,” I mumbled to myself.
“What?” Sveta asked with those innocent, doe eyes.
“Nothing, just talking to myself,” I replied, “Don’t worry about it,” I added as I brushed a strand of her silky, chestnut brown hair, that fell into her eyes, out of her face and tucked it behind her ear.
“Gronk, uh, can you help me out?” Tyler asked.
“Sure, what do you need?”
“I need help,” Tyler stated again, “In the kitchen, now.”
“I’ll be right back, alright?” I said to Sveta, who just nodded, as I grudgingly got up and followed Tyler into the kitchen.
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“I’m Sidney, we talked for a little bit earlier,” A man with dark hair, pouty lips and pretty eyes said as Jordan left, offering me his hand which I shook. I recalled speaking to him, but speaking would be an exaggeration, he had merely said ‘good job,’ to me after I told Oksana off.
“Svetlana, I remember,” I replied with a smile.
“You’re a ballerina?”
“Is that the question of the day?” I asked teasingly.
Sidney laughed before responding, “I guess it is, but are you? Jordy tends to exaggerate.”
“Yes, I am a ballerina,” I replied, the way he said how Jordan exaggerated made me hate to think what he thought I did for a living.
“Hmm, I’ve never met a ballerina before,” Sidney replied pensively as he rubbed his jaw.
“That’s too bad,” I said teasing him, “We’re a nice group of people, a touch competitive but still nice, I’d like to think.”
“I’m starting to think they’re more of the teasing type,” Sidney joked, raising his eyebrows suggestively.
“Nice try, Sid,” Max said with his eyes still glued to the TV screen, “If she won’t go for me, she definitely won’t go for you,” which caused us both to laugh.
“You don’t date hockey players?” Sidney asked much to his chagrin, “You’re really missing out, we’re a nice group of people, a touch competitive but still nice,” Sidney added mimicking how I said it earlier, which made me laugh.
“I used to date a hockey player,” I stated.
“Good memories or bad memories?”
“G-” I started, but I bit my lip, “Both.”
“I’m glad, for the good part, sorry, for the bad part. Whatever he did, we’re not all like that, I hope you know, some of us are really good guys.”
“Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind,” I said blandly.
“I mean it,” Sidney said earnestly, “Geno, he just has bad taste in women.” My heart beat a little quicker at the mention of his name, but Sidney’s comment hurt. ‘He just has bad taste in women,’ I couldn’t help but think that Sidney's comment applied to me. It hurt to just entertain that idea, it ached to just think of him. Sidney continued to talk, not noticing that I was not paying him a lot of attention, “Max, well he’s not that picky with women. Kri-”
“I heard that!” Max exclaimed while playing NHL 10, as he blindly threw a pillow at Sidney, not taking his eyes off the TV for a second.
“Bottom line is we’re not all bad guys and you should give us a chance,” Sidney said.
“I’m really confused,” I said giving him an incredulous look, “Are you trying to convince me to date a hockey player? Did Max put you up to this?”
The last question earned me a laugh from Sidney, “I’m just saying, don’t over generalize and keep your options open,”
“Um…” I said in disbelief, “Okay, I will?” I added, saying it more like a question than a statement because I was unsure what his motives where.
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“What do you need help with man?” I asked as I stood in the empty kitchen with Tyler.
“What’s going on with you and Svetlana?” Tyler asked.
“I don’t understand what you’re talking about. We’re just friends, okay,” I said as I turned on my heel and started to make my way to the door, but before I could push it open, Tyler grabbed my arm.
“Who do you think you’re fooling? Because frankly, man, I think the only one you’re fooling is Sveta.” I just stood there with one hand on the wooden door, ready to push it open and walk out, but I couldn’t. I was frozen by what Tyler was saying. “You gotta tell her how you feel, or you’re gonna get friend zoned,”
“Tyler, look-”
“Just listen to me, the friend zone is a very real place and you’re heading there,” The determination in Tyler’s eyes told me to stay, it was the same determination he had when he was on the ice, “Just don’t- don’t end up screwing this up because you’re too damn stubborn to see that you like her. ‘Cause if you don’t, someone else will. Just look out there,” Tyler said, pushing the door open to reveal Sveta and Sid talking and laughing and, dare I say it, flirting.
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“Sveta,” I heard Jordan say with a more serious tone, “I think we should leave, it’s getting late.”
“Can’t we stay a little longer? I’m having so much fun,” I pleaded like a child, but the look in his eyes told me not press it further, “You know what, I think we should leave. I have to make curfew,” I added as I stood up and walked over to where Jordan was. “It was nice to meet you all. I hope I can get to know you guys better.”
“Bye,” the guys chorused as Vero walked us out.
“Drive safe, and Sveta don’t forget to call, so we can go shopping,” Vero said as we left, “Guys, come back soon, okay? It get’s boring with just Marc here.”
When we sat in the car, it was silent, something that it never was when I was with Jordan, usually the radio would be on or we would talk but now, it was just dead silent. I looked over at Jordan and his jaw was clenched and his knuckles were white from gripping the steering wheel so hard.
“Thank you for letting me meet your friends,” I said, “I had a really good time.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, they were all very nice.”
“I’m sure they were,” Jordan mumbled, as he started the car and started driving.
“Are,” I started, “Are you mad at me?”
“What?” Jordan asked in disbelief, as he took his eyes off the road to look at me, “Why would you think that?”
“It’s just, I don’t know. That can be the only reason why you’re acting the way you are now,” I reasoned.
Jordan merely sighed and ran a hand through his messy blonde hair, “I’m not mad at you, I’m just mad at- I don’t know, I guess I’m mad at myself, my friends. But, I’m not mad at you, never you,”
“Okay,” I said with a smile, the distraught look on his face made me choose to not pursue the topic. But as we turned onto the freeway, we were instantly met with traffic.
“Ugh,” Jordan groaned, “Looks like we might be here a while.”
“That’s alright,” I shrug, “We can just talk, or play 20 questions again!” I add excitedly. While no one likes being stuck in traffic, deep down inside I was happy, it would give us time to talk, just the two of us.
“Do you only know 20 questions?” Jordan teased, “Well, we can play a modified version. We each get 5 questions, that should make things more interesting.”
“Okay! You go first,”
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“Okay! You go first,” Sveta replied with a child-like innocence. The magic words, I thought, time to get some answers.
“Alright, what were you and Sid talking about when I was in the kitchen?” I asked, I knew the question was forward and I sounded like a jealous jerk but, heck, I probably am one. I focused on the road, instead of looking her in the eyes, just looking at her would make me feel guilty.
“What do you mean?” She asked flustered, she must have been caught off guard.
“Since we only get 5 questions that one won’t count, but what were you and Sid talking about when I was in the kitchen,” I answered tersely, the words coming out sharper than I meant to.
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I wasn’t necessarily caught off guard by his question, per say, but I was more caught off by how distant he sounded, how he wouldn’t even look me in the eyes when he asked the question, “We were talking about,” I said hesitating to say the rest, I took a deep breath before continuing, “How I should keep my options open when it comes to dating and that I shouldn’t over generalize,” I finished as I looked at Jordan to see his reaction.
“Why woul-” he started but I interrupted him. This was the time to come clean and be honest. I couldn't lie to him, there was something obviously bothering him, his blue eyes were troubled and I couldn't bear to add to it.
“We were talking about how Sidney wouldn’t have a chance with me because I don’t date hockey players. Then I explained that I dated a hockey player before, and that brought back good and bad memories. So, Sidney said that not all hockey players are bad guys and that some of them are really nice. He also said that I should give you guys a chance,” I said looking over at Jordan, trying to gauge his reaction.
“He’s right, we are good guys and you shouldn’t be scared to date a hockey player because one guy was an ass,” Jordan said with a smile, “We’re not all Sean Avery,” he added jokingly.
“My turn, what did you and Tyler talk about in the kitchen? I know he didn’t need your help, Tyler's a terrible liar, worse than me. So what did you guys talk about?”
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“What did you and Tyler talk about in the kitchen?” she asked with a genuine curiosity.
“You,” I replied simply and honestly, “I was trying to convince Tyler that you and I are just friends,” so maybe I wasn’t being completely honest but I couldn’t tell her ‘we talked about how if I don’t tell you I like you’re gonna friend zone me.’ She probably doesn’t even know what the friend zone is.
“Oh,” she replied stunned, “Can I ask my next question now, it kind of relates.”
“Sure,”
“Did you convince him?” she asked more seriously, she drew her up to her chest and clasped her hands around her knees.
“No,” I replied, I couldn’t lie to her, she looked so innocent as she rested her cheek on her knees looking at me with those eyes, “I couldn’t convince Tyler that we are just friends,” how could I convince Tyler when I can’t even convince myself, I thought to myself.
“I hope he doesn’t get any wrong ideas…” She said softly with hint of a smile on her lush lips, “Your turn.”
“Would you date a hockey player?” I asked, “Even though you had that bad experience with that one guy,” we had managed to escape the traffic as I finished my question. I knew I sounded pathetic, but I needed to know. I needed to know.
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“Would you date a hockey player?” he asked, he didn’t have his signature smirk or a playful grin when he asked this question. He was dead serious and it scared me.
I instantly thought of Evgeni, “If the right one came along, I wouldn’t just date a hockey player because he was a hockey player.”
“Good, that means I might have a chance,” I said, “Your turn, ask me a question.”
“Uh, uh,” I was flabbergasted by his remark. He had a jaunty smile on his face that was hard to read. I felt my cheeks heat up as I blushed, “I can’t think of a question.”
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“Uh, uh,” she stuttered as her cheeks blushed to a shade that resembled strawberries. Strawberries, the way her hair smells, strawberries, the way I bet her lips would taste like, strawberries, the way- Stop it Jordan. Control yourself. “I can’t think of a question,” she said softly. It made me wonder, what made her blush, what I said or that she can’t think of a question.
“Don’t worry, I have more than enough questions for you,” I said being purposefully vague. “What did your ex do to you that scarred you so much that you have an aversion to hockey players?”
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“I didn’t say that I was scarred and he didn’t do anything that bad,” I said in a soft voice. I felt so pathetic, with the tears welling in my eyes and how I was defending him.
“What did he do?” Jordan said his voice laced with concern.
“Everything was so perfect,” I said my voice cracking, “But I had to leave, I had to go to Moscow, to the Bolshoi, and he had to stay. He played for the local hockey team, Metallurg Magnitogorsk, so he had to stay. We wrote letters to each other, everyday. But then they stopped, they just stopped,” I continued, as a single teardrop made it’s way down my face, “Then I found out, he found someone else. A friend of mine told me that he had met this woman at a club, and that this woman was going to get a divorce so she could be with him.” I wrapped my arms around myself, as if it was the only way it would my fragile heart together. It was odd, telling the story to Kris or Sidney or Vero didn’t leave me this emotional, but now as I told it to Jordan, I was a mess. Maybe because when I told Kris, I didn’t know that Evgeni had still been in Russia when he stopped writing me, I didn’t know how awful Oksana was, but now I’m here with Jordan confronting reality.
“Screw him,” Jordan said, “If he can’t see that he had something good right in front of him, then screw him. He doesn’t deserve you.” I hadn’t noticed it but we were already in front of my apartment complex.
“Thank you,” I whispered, “I’m sorry for crying in front of you,” I added as blinked away the fresh tears.
“Don’t worry about it, I shouldn’t have asked the question,” he said as he rubbed my back in comforting circles.
“No, it’s good. I needed to let it out. I needed a catharsis,” I said forcing a smile on my face.
“I have one more question,” Jordan said as he wiped a tear from my face.
“Go ahead,” I nodded.
“What are you doing next Saturday night?”
“What?” Sveta asked with those innocent, doe eyes.
“Nothing, just talking to myself,” I replied, “Don’t worry about it,” I added as I brushed a strand of her silky, chestnut brown hair, that fell into her eyes, out of her face and tucked it behind her ear.
“Gronk, uh, can you help me out?” Tyler asked.
“Sure, what do you need?”
“I need help,” Tyler stated again, “In the kitchen, now.”
“I’ll be right back, alright?” I said to Sveta, who just nodded, as I grudgingly got up and followed Tyler into the kitchen.
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“I’m Sidney, we talked for a little bit earlier,” A man with dark hair, pouty lips and pretty eyes said as Jordan left, offering me his hand which I shook. I recalled speaking to him, but speaking would be an exaggeration, he had merely said ‘good job,’ to me after I told Oksana off.
“Svetlana, I remember,” I replied with a smile.
“You’re a ballerina?”
“Is that the question of the day?” I asked teasingly.
Sidney laughed before responding, “I guess it is, but are you? Jordy tends to exaggerate.”
“Yes, I am a ballerina,” I replied, the way he said how Jordan exaggerated made me hate to think what he thought I did for a living.
“Hmm, I’ve never met a ballerina before,” Sidney replied pensively as he rubbed his jaw.
“That’s too bad,” I said teasing him, “We’re a nice group of people, a touch competitive but still nice, I’d like to think.”
“I’m starting to think they’re more of the teasing type,” Sidney joked, raising his eyebrows suggestively.
“Nice try, Sid,” Max said with his eyes still glued to the TV screen, “If she won’t go for me, she definitely won’t go for you,” which caused us both to laugh.
“You don’t date hockey players?” Sidney asked much to his chagrin, “You’re really missing out, we’re a nice group of people, a touch competitive but still nice,” Sidney added mimicking how I said it earlier, which made me laugh.
“I used to date a hockey player,” I stated.
“Good memories or bad memories?”
“G-” I started, but I bit my lip, “Both.”
“I’m glad, for the good part, sorry, for the bad part. Whatever he did, we’re not all like that, I hope you know, some of us are really good guys.”
“Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind,” I said blandly.
“I mean it,” Sidney said earnestly, “Geno, he just has bad taste in women.” My heart beat a little quicker at the mention of his name, but Sidney’s comment hurt. ‘He just has bad taste in women,’ I couldn’t help but think that Sidney's comment applied to me. It hurt to just entertain that idea, it ached to just think of him. Sidney continued to talk, not noticing that I was not paying him a lot of attention, “Max, well he’s not that picky with women. Kri-”
“I heard that!” Max exclaimed while playing NHL 10, as he blindly threw a pillow at Sidney, not taking his eyes off the TV for a second.
“Bottom line is we’re not all bad guys and you should give us a chance,” Sidney said.
“I’m really confused,” I said giving him an incredulous look, “Are you trying to convince me to date a hockey player? Did Max put you up to this?”
The last question earned me a laugh from Sidney, “I’m just saying, don’t over generalize and keep your options open,”
“Um…” I said in disbelief, “Okay, I will?” I added, saying it more like a question than a statement because I was unsure what his motives where.
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“What do you need help with man?” I asked as I stood in the empty kitchen with Tyler.
“What’s going on with you and Svetlana?” Tyler asked.
“I don’t understand what you’re talking about. We’re just friends, okay,” I said as I turned on my heel and started to make my way to the door, but before I could push it open, Tyler grabbed my arm.
“Who do you think you’re fooling? Because frankly, man, I think the only one you’re fooling is Sveta.” I just stood there with one hand on the wooden door, ready to push it open and walk out, but I couldn’t. I was frozen by what Tyler was saying. “You gotta tell her how you feel, or you’re gonna get friend zoned,”
“Tyler, look-”
“Just listen to me, the friend zone is a very real place and you’re heading there,” The determination in Tyler’s eyes told me to stay, it was the same determination he had when he was on the ice, “Just don’t- don’t end up screwing this up because you’re too damn stubborn to see that you like her. ‘Cause if you don’t, someone else will. Just look out there,” Tyler said, pushing the door open to reveal Sveta and Sid talking and laughing and, dare I say it, flirting.
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“Sveta,” I heard Jordan say with a more serious tone, “I think we should leave, it’s getting late.”
“Can’t we stay a little longer? I’m having so much fun,” I pleaded like a child, but the look in his eyes told me not press it further, “You know what, I think we should leave. I have to make curfew,” I added as I stood up and walked over to where Jordan was. “It was nice to meet you all. I hope I can get to know you guys better.”
“Bye,” the guys chorused as Vero walked us out.
“Drive safe, and Sveta don’t forget to call, so we can go shopping,” Vero said as we left, “Guys, come back soon, okay? It get’s boring with just Marc here.”
When we sat in the car, it was silent, something that it never was when I was with Jordan, usually the radio would be on or we would talk but now, it was just dead silent. I looked over at Jordan and his jaw was clenched and his knuckles were white from gripping the steering wheel so hard.
“Thank you for letting me meet your friends,” I said, “I had a really good time.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, they were all very nice.”
“I’m sure they were,” Jordan mumbled, as he started the car and started driving.
“Are,” I started, “Are you mad at me?”
“What?” Jordan asked in disbelief, as he took his eyes off the road to look at me, “Why would you think that?”
“It’s just, I don’t know. That can be the only reason why you’re acting the way you are now,” I reasoned.
Jordan merely sighed and ran a hand through his messy blonde hair, “I’m not mad at you, I’m just mad at- I don’t know, I guess I’m mad at myself, my friends. But, I’m not mad at you, never you,”
“Okay,” I said with a smile, the distraught look on his face made me choose to not pursue the topic. But as we turned onto the freeway, we were instantly met with traffic.
“Ugh,” Jordan groaned, “Looks like we might be here a while.”
“That’s alright,” I shrug, “We can just talk, or play 20 questions again!” I add excitedly. While no one likes being stuck in traffic, deep down inside I was happy, it would give us time to talk, just the two of us.
“Do you only know 20 questions?” Jordan teased, “Well, we can play a modified version. We each get 5 questions, that should make things more interesting.”
“Okay! You go first,”
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“Okay! You go first,” Sveta replied with a child-like innocence. The magic words, I thought, time to get some answers.
“Alright, what were you and Sid talking about when I was in the kitchen?” I asked, I knew the question was forward and I sounded like a jealous jerk but, heck, I probably am one. I focused on the road, instead of looking her in the eyes, just looking at her would make me feel guilty.
“What do you mean?” She asked flustered, she must have been caught off guard.
“Since we only get 5 questions that one won’t count, but what were you and Sid talking about when I was in the kitchen,” I answered tersely, the words coming out sharper than I meant to.
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I wasn’t necessarily caught off guard by his question, per say, but I was more caught off by how distant he sounded, how he wouldn’t even look me in the eyes when he asked the question, “We were talking about,” I said hesitating to say the rest, I took a deep breath before continuing, “How I should keep my options open when it comes to dating and that I shouldn’t over generalize,” I finished as I looked at Jordan to see his reaction.
“Why woul-” he started but I interrupted him. This was the time to come clean and be honest. I couldn't lie to him, there was something obviously bothering him, his blue eyes were troubled and I couldn't bear to add to it.
“We were talking about how Sidney wouldn’t have a chance with me because I don’t date hockey players. Then I explained that I dated a hockey player before, and that brought back good and bad memories. So, Sidney said that not all hockey players are bad guys and that some of them are really nice. He also said that I should give you guys a chance,” I said looking over at Jordan, trying to gauge his reaction.
“He’s right, we are good guys and you shouldn’t be scared to date a hockey player because one guy was an ass,” Jordan said with a smile, “We’re not all Sean Avery,” he added jokingly.
“My turn, what did you and Tyler talk about in the kitchen? I know he didn’t need your help, Tyler's a terrible liar, worse than me. So what did you guys talk about?”
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“What did you and Tyler talk about in the kitchen?” she asked with a genuine curiosity.
“You,” I replied simply and honestly, “I was trying to convince Tyler that you and I are just friends,” so maybe I wasn’t being completely honest but I couldn’t tell her ‘we talked about how if I don’t tell you I like you’re gonna friend zone me.’ She probably doesn’t even know what the friend zone is.
“Oh,” she replied stunned, “Can I ask my next question now, it kind of relates.”
“Sure,”
“Did you convince him?” she asked more seriously, she drew her up to her chest and clasped her hands around her knees.
“No,” I replied, I couldn’t lie to her, she looked so innocent as she rested her cheek on her knees looking at me with those eyes, “I couldn’t convince Tyler that we are just friends,” how could I convince Tyler when I can’t even convince myself, I thought to myself.
“I hope he doesn’t get any wrong ideas…” She said softly with hint of a smile on her lush lips, “Your turn.”
“Would you date a hockey player?” I asked, “Even though you had that bad experience with that one guy,” we had managed to escape the traffic as I finished my question. I knew I sounded pathetic, but I needed to know. I needed to know.
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“Would you date a hockey player?” he asked, he didn’t have his signature smirk or a playful grin when he asked this question. He was dead serious and it scared me.
I instantly thought of Evgeni, “If the right one came along, I wouldn’t just date a hockey player because he was a hockey player.”
“Good, that means I might have a chance,” I said, “Your turn, ask me a question.”
“Uh, uh,” I was flabbergasted by his remark. He had a jaunty smile on his face that was hard to read. I felt my cheeks heat up as I blushed, “I can’t think of a question.”
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“Uh, uh,” she stuttered as her cheeks blushed to a shade that resembled strawberries. Strawberries, the way her hair smells, strawberries, the way I bet her lips would taste like, strawberries, the way- Stop it Jordan. Control yourself. “I can’t think of a question,” she said softly. It made me wonder, what made her blush, what I said or that she can’t think of a question.
“Don’t worry, I have more than enough questions for you,” I said being purposefully vague. “What did your ex do to you that scarred you so much that you have an aversion to hockey players?”
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“I didn’t say that I was scarred and he didn’t do anything that bad,” I said in a soft voice. I felt so pathetic, with the tears welling in my eyes and how I was defending him.
“What did he do?” Jordan said his voice laced with concern.
“Everything was so perfect,” I said my voice cracking, “But I had to leave, I had to go to Moscow, to the Bolshoi, and he had to stay. He played for the local hockey team, Metallurg Magnitogorsk, so he had to stay. We wrote letters to each other, everyday. But then they stopped, they just stopped,” I continued, as a single teardrop made it’s way down my face, “Then I found out, he found someone else. A friend of mine told me that he had met this woman at a club, and that this woman was going to get a divorce so she could be with him.” I wrapped my arms around myself, as if it was the only way it would my fragile heart together. It was odd, telling the story to Kris or Sidney or Vero didn’t leave me this emotional, but now as I told it to Jordan, I was a mess. Maybe because when I told Kris, I didn’t know that Evgeni had still been in Russia when he stopped writing me, I didn’t know how awful Oksana was, but now I’m here with Jordan confronting reality.
“Screw him,” Jordan said, “If he can’t see that he had something good right in front of him, then screw him. He doesn’t deserve you.” I hadn’t noticed it but we were already in front of my apartment complex.
“Thank you,” I whispered, “I’m sorry for crying in front of you,” I added as blinked away the fresh tears.
“Don’t worry about it, I shouldn’t have asked the question,” he said as he rubbed my back in comforting circles.
“No, it’s good. I needed to let it out. I needed a catharsis,” I said forcing a smile on my face.
“I have one more question,” Jordan said as he wiped a tear from my face.
“Go ahead,” I nodded.
“What are you doing next Saturday night?”
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Sorry if it was a little hard to follow with all the shifts from Svetlana's point of view to Jordan's. It's not my favorite chapter but I'm happy with it, plus I got it out in one night! I want to thank everyone who reads, subscribed and reviewed this story.