Love in Cold Blood

Chapter 12: Answers

“Why did you leave?” My question floated poignantly in the air. He didn’t answer me immediately. He just stood there, looking me deeply in the eyes till he sighed and leaned against the wall.
“It’s complicated.” Was Jasper’s response. “That’s not enough!” I complained. He drew in a deep sigh and paced across the room eventually ending up near me. His words swept out like a flood. “It was hard Ok? Seeing you like that, it tore me apart! I’ll never make fun of Edward again; I didn’t want you to know about us. This should have never happened!”
I felt shocked. “Never happened?” does he regret ever seeing me? “I’m sorry,” I mumbled “You can trust me though, even if you hate me, I’ll never tell. You don’t even ever have to talk to me again. I’ll only see Alice but, if you prefer me not to talk to your family I won’t.” I felt like crying. I looked up at his face it was, shocked.
He whispered “That’s not what I meant.” “Then what did you mean?” was my desperate response. “Oh. God…” he said pacing again. Walking back and forth, back and forth with a torn expression. All of a sudden he stopped and looked at me with the softest expression ever. It tore me to shreds.
“You’re so breakable.” He reached out to touch my face. “I could mean to touch you, ever so gently, but, with one flick of my finger you could die. One slip and you bones will break. You’re a precious porcelain doll.” He looked pained.
“What do you mean?” I asked, he sighed. “You’re precious, to me, me especially.” My eyes questioned him. “With you I’ve found more reason to do anything than ever, it’s not family or survival,” He paused as his eyes scorched mine and his heady smell grew more pungent. “It’s love.”
I grew still. I stopped breathing. I reached out to him. He stepped away. I felt as if I was stung. My heart fell into my stomach. Hadn’t he just said “I love you?” The prospect thrilled me. “Your fragile.” He reminded me. “And I’m a vampire, even being this close tempts me. Everyone else is even surprised I can be this close, especially Edward.” He stared into my eyes, trying to make me understand. “You see, some believe that for every vampire there is at least one person that smells better than all the rest, you’re mine. You have no idea the control I have to use just not to kill you every second.” This shocked me to hear this said aloud. At least he was honest. “Even after all this I am stupid enough to fall in love, the beast falls in love with the “beauty” huh?” He gave a hard laugh.
“I love you too…” was all I could manage to say without showing his the still damaged heart I had, torn; healed, torn, healed again, I’m surprised it still was beating. I began to cry. Slowly, Jasper reached his hand out to my cheek and wiped away my tears. “I still can’t always be this close, or near you at all. It was stupid of me to tell you.” He said suddenly bounding off to the other side of the room. “If you want to forget, I can manage that, make it seem like a dream?” He looked torn inside, between what he wanted and what he could manage. “I don’t want to forget.” Was my reply, stronger than I had expected. I walked over to him and stopped a few feet away. “Why would I want to?”
“I just don’t trust myself.” He said “But I trust you!” I said with commitment “I can trust worth the both of us.” I leaned in closer, slowly, to give him time to adjust. I laid my head onto his chest. It was hard and cold, like leaning onto a statue, or a fortress, he felt comforting and strong. He let out a big sigh and leaned his head back against the wall. I felt as if he was suffering so, I began to step away when his arms shot out and wrapped around me. Surrounding me like a stone cage, encasing me in protection. His stone-hard lips pressed against my head causing a shiver to run down my spine. I wasn’t cold. He stood still and straight for a bit and then, with more vigor, lent his body against mine. “I really do love you.” He whispered lovingly in my ear. “I promise I’ll never hurt you.” He said this more to himself than me. “I know.” Was my simple response. We stood there, as one entity for a long while, hours. I could have stayed there forever. Too quickly, he released me from his grasp. “I should go down stairs, talk to my family.” He said “Take another nap and, when you ready come down. Soon we’ll send out for food for you and Bella.” He looked me in the eyes and bent down and laid a soft kiss on my lips, smiled and escaped from the room. He tasted sweet. I walked slowly to the bed and collapsed upon it. Rolling to my side on his mattress I went over all the events in my mind. It really hit me. ‘Jasper loves me.’ It seemed impossible. How could a god love me? It seemed unbelievable but, he said it. Twice and, he kissed me. I pressed my pointer-finger to my lips and relived the moment. He loves me. I dreamt of him as sleep overcame me.

I awoke to a sharp tap on the door. A sweet soprano voice asked me “May I come in?” “Of course Alice.” I said, sitting up. She walked it with a smile on her face. She knew. She was the one who brought me into Jasper’s room. She set us up! I didn’t know whether to be mad or ecstatically happy and gracious. Shock, once again, took over. I only managed a gasp. She giggled. “You must have just realized,” she said in a happy tone “That I set you guys up, though it was more of a “push” in the right direction. No thank you?”
“Um...” I muttered “Thanks but, how did you know, and before see?”
“Oh!” she said. “It’s probably best I explained everything to you, aren’t I rude!” she giggled and flopped on the bed, still overly graceful. “So you know we’re vampires, right?”
“Yeah”
“Ok then,” she began
“We are vampires but, we don’t drink blood.” I nodded “though it is tempting, and we have more than human abilities to run, see, heal, pretty much everything is multiplied. We can’t age.” She continued “Some of us have special powers. Jasper, Edward and, I do. Jasper can feel others’ emotions and change them at will but, don’t worry, he can’t for some reason affect yours, Edward can read minds, except Bella’s and I can see the future!”
“So Bella knows?”
“Yes.” She explained
“And Jasper can’t effect my emotions?”
“Yes, we have a theory you see. You smell to Jasper as Bella smells to Edward. You are a “la tua cantante”