Sequel: In the End ›
It Started Off With Just A Trip To Oakland, California
Billie to the Rescue
Billie Joe's eyes widened. He didn't know what to think. I don't think he really believed that my mom was there... Because I know I wasn't. I was scared... No... That was a real understatement. I had opened the door to see my mom standing there, red in the face because she was so pissed off. If I opened that door again, I knew I was dead... But no... This wasn't happening...
I didn't move. Hell, I was scared to breathe. Billie Joe had to tell me to breathe about 10 times before I finally listened to him. I know it sounds stupid how scared I was... But this was my mother. She had caused me so much pain. She would get drunk and lay on the beatings... I'd go to school with bruises that you could spot miles away.
"Your... Mom?" Said Billie Joe, dropping his voice into a whisper.
I nodded, gulping. Billie Joe walked up to me, and put his arm around my waist, pulling my away from the door, and to the stairs. He whispered something in my ear, I nodded, and ran upstairs, into his room. Why he had told me to go in there, I don't know why. But I was so scared, I wasn't about to argue with him... And I knew he wouldn't do anything to hurt me.
I closed and locked his bedroom door, and put my ear up against the door. Did I mention that I was scared?
"Where's my fucking daughter?!" I heard from downstairs
"Miss, if I knew who the hell you were that would help" Billie Joe snapped
"I'm Amanda's mother, you bastard."
"Thanks for the info..."
I had to give it up to Billie Joe for staying so damn calm, or just at least acting calm.
"Where is she?!"
"I don't even know Amanda..."
"I just saw her open the door!"
"Okay..."
"OKAY? Listen Mr. Fucking Armstrong, I want my goddamn daughter back"
"Back? I didn't fucking take her!"
"I know you have my mother fucking daughter, now let me get her and I could just leave you alone"
"Listen lady, I don't know what the hell your talking about. I don't just take in girls I find, I don't talk to a lot of them... So what makes you think I'd go up to your daughter and invite her to my house?"
"I don't know, maybe your some freak that takes in 18 year olds, and does something to them!"
I heard Billie Joe laugh at that
"I take in 18 year olds? And if I DID meet your daughter, what would I do to her? I'm not a fucking rapist you know"
"I want my daughter back! I saw her open the door, god knows what your doing to her!"
"Who knows what I'M doing to her?! Your fucking daughter has bruises on her from assholes like you that have no idea how to fucking take care of someone! I have two fucking sons, and I've never hurt them! I don't think its real hard for anyone to keep their hands off of someone else, but not you and your husband! You have to fucking hurt your daughter! So whatever I am doing to her, is better than what you would do!" He yelled, and I could tell by his voice that he was more than pissed off.
My mother didn't say anything... Well, I couldn't hear her. I started to freak out, because I didn't hear Billie Joe either. I looked at my watch, it was 5:00. It seemed like they had been arguing forever... And now it had just stopped.
I walked around his room, trying to keep down. I wanted to run out there to see if everything was okay, but I knew if my mother was down there, and had seen me... It just wouldn't be good... She wouldn't care Billie Joe was famous, she would do whatever she could to him.. She didn't care if someone was famous, she always gave them a piece of her mind...
I was walking around, and looking down when I slammed head first into the wall, making me fall back on the floor, hitting my head on the ground... I had hit my head pretty hard... I had blacked out...
"My fucking head" I groaned sitting up.
I got up, after sitting there for a moment, and looked around. I heard the TV downstairs, and that's really all...
I stumbled over to the door. Why did I have to black out? And why was everything silent? I flung the door open and sort of stumbled down the stairs. My head really hurt. There was a cut in it from when I fell on the floor. It was really dark out... I looked down at my watch... God, I had been out for a while... It was 8:00... I was so tired I felt like it was like 1 in the morning.
When I finally made it down the stairs, without falling down them, I looked around. Billie Joe was asleep on the couch, snoring... What the hell had happened? Why was he sleeping? What? I was too confused. Had I just had another nightmare with my mom coming?
I walked into the kitchen to get something to drink, and at the sound of me walking in the kitchen Billie Joe woke up. I hadn't noticed at first, though.
"Hey" he said sleepily, walking in.
At the sound of his voice I jumped up, and turned around.
"Billie Joe!" I said, hugging him
He hugged me, but was confused why I was hugging him so tight.
"Are.. You.. Okay?" Asked Billie Joe
"Yeah, I'm okay... But what happened?!"
He of course knew what I was talking about.
We went over, and sat down on the couch next to each other, we didn't feel like just standing there in the kitchen.
"So.. Billie... What happened?" I asked once he sat down
"Well, what did you hear?" He asked, smiling a little
I told him everything I'd heard, and he nodded.
"Okay... Wait... You passed out?"
I nodded, "Yep... I walked into your wall, and fell back hard on your floor"
"Oh... I was gettin really fuckin scared when I tried to open the door and shit when your mom finally left... But I figured you might have fell asleep.. Or something, and it was locked"
I smiled a little, and looked down, wrapping my fingers in my belt loop. Except for the day I met him on the plane, I had never felt so nervous being around him. I had a small thing of butterfly's in my stomach, and I had no idea why. Except for right now, I wasn't nervous to talk to him... Well, except for the day I met him when I was thinking "Wholey shit what the hell is going on?"
We had been sitting there for a while, when I finally asked him once more to tell me what happened.
"Oh, sorry, right" He said, and then continued. "I told her to get outta the house and she argued, she told me she would take me to court for taking you, and I told her that I don't think they would care that you were with me when they found out how they abused you and shit"
I just looked at him, until I finally asked him something. "And she just left?"
"After a while she did..."
I felt a tear go down my cheek, and then before I knew it tons of tears were crawling down my cheeks. I felt so bad for dragging Billie Joe into my fucked up family, I felt so bad for making him meet my mom. I buried my head into his shoulder, and cried. I felt guilty for this... And well, I was.
He put his arm around my waist, and just sat next to me, letting me cry, letting me get it out of my system. I had to cry, no one could have stopped me... Not even Tre...
The time seemed to fly by. The last time I had looked at my watch it was 8:00, now it was 11... No I hadn't been crying all that time. I had full intension to sleep alone in my bed that night. I promised myself that tonight I wouldn't need to be around Billie Joe... What a fucked up promise that was. After my mom had come, I really didn't want to go anywhere if Billie Joe wasn't going to be there. I was just scared shitless she would come again, and Billie Joe wouldn't be there to protect me and a bunch of that crap...
I tried to sleep alone in my bed, but I ended up getting up and going downstairs... I sat where I had sat before my mom had come, and just stared at the ceiling. I wasn't ready for bed, I felt like I couldn't sleep. I curled up on the couch, putting my arms around my legs, and my chin on the top of my knees. I had my "Kiss Me" pajama pants on, with my Green Day tank top on. I hadn't worn those in a while... Usually it was my regular Green Day hoodie, and just pajama pants...
Around my neck I still had my necklace on. I refused to take it off, I couldn't... I just didn't want to. I slid my thumb and pointer finger over its smooth surface, and my thoughts just took me away. My mind wondered upon something... It wasn't totally my fault my mother had found out where I was... In fact... When I really thought about it... It was Becky's fault... I trusted her enough to tell her where I was... And she went out and told everyone... What the hell was she thinking?! My thoughts went from easy going, to pure hatred. Why the hell did she have to tell everyone where the hell I was?! I was so mad I bet you could have seen steam coming out of my ears.
I ran upstairs, and grabbed my cell phone. I didn't give a crap what time it was. If I didn't call Becky right then, I probably would have taken my anger out on someone... And since the only other person in the house was Billie Joe, I probably would have taken my anger out on him... And that's one of the last things I needed to happen.
I turned my cell phone on, ran back downstairs, and then went into the basement. By how angry I had gotten in the last 15 seconds, I knew I wasn't going to be able to whisper for very long. I closed and locked the basement door, and called Becky, fuming.
"Hello?" I heard a sleepy voice on the other end of the phone
"Hi" I said, trying not to start screamin at first
"Mandy? What the hell? It's fucking 4:45 here! Why the hell are you calling me?!" She said, annoyed
"Well I'm SORRY I didn't let you get your fucking beauty sleep" I snapped
"Chill out, whats got you in a bitchy mood?"
"My fucking mother showed up tonight!" I yelled... Honestly... I had tried not to...
"She did?!"
"Yeah, she fucking did! And you know what? Everything would have been fucking fine if you knew how to shut the hell up!"
Becky didn't say anything for a moment, and then spat "What?"
"What the hell were you fucking thinking telling everyone I was staying with Billie Joe? Couldn't you have shut the hell up ONCE in your fucking life?!"
"Mandy! I was fucking sleeping! And you call me for this bullshit?!"
"It's not bullshit! You fucking told every fucking person in that town, and it got to my parents! What the Hell Becky?!"
"Ya know what Mandy-"
"No! And I don't really CARE what YOU have to say!"
"Then WHY did you call me?! AT 4:45 IN THE MORNING I MIGHT ADD!" She said, starting to yell.
"BECAUSE! I HAVE PARENTS TO RUIN MY FUCKING LIFE! I DIDN'T NEED YOU TO GO RUNNING AND TELLING EVERYONE!"
"You think you can tell everyone off Mandy because you're staying with Bi-"
"THIS ISN'T ABOUT THAT! AND NO I DON'T! YOU THINK I DO BECAUSE YOU'RE SO FUCKING STUPID YOU BARELY KNOW ME IT'S LIKE!"
"MANDY! Shut the hell up!" She yelled
"If you knew ANYTHING about me, you wouldn't have ran around like a little bitch and told everyone in the town"
"I was excited for you"
"No you weren't... You were excited that you had a friend staying at the guy you love for his looks house... Which is overly pathetic" I snarled
"I don't just like him for his looks"
I laughed, and then turned back to the phone "Yeah you do... I'd be listening to their CD's, and you'd be looking him up. You barely listened to their music... It just shows how pathetic you are... Your like a teenie"
She was shocked how I was being... You could tell.
"Listen Mandy, I'd LOVE to sit here and argue with you, but I have to go to bed now... Like NORMAL people"
"You do that, don't call me back or anything... Talking to you now is worst than talking to my own parents" I snapped, and hung up on her.
I went to open the door from the basement, to see a tired, and shocked Billie Joe standing at the top of the stairs. Oh come on! Did he really have to hear all that?!
He just looked at me, and raised his eyebrow, wanting to know what the yelling had been about.
"It was nothing Billie Joe" I snapped
"You mean I woke up in the middle of the night to hear you screaming downstairs over nothing?" He said, sarcastically.
I looked at him for a moment, "Right" I snapped
"Cut the crap Mandy"
"Yea... I never liked that job"
"Nice attitude, what got you going?"
"Nothing"
Scary enough, I was really trying not to be rude, but I couldn't help it.
"Wow, your so convincing" He said, again, sarcastically
"I know, I try"
"I could tell"
I glared at him, and sat down on the couch.
"Why are you so pissed off?" He asked
"Becky, Billie Joe!"
"Why?"
"Cuz she can't keep her mouth closed! It's HER fault my mother came here today! She ran around telling EVERYONE where I was!"
He just looked at me, confused at what I was saying, and then it seemed to sink in.
"Why did she do that?"
"I don't know, Billie Joe!"
I stood up, and walked over to him, burring my head is chest. I was more than up set. Today had just made me emotional, more emotional than I wanted to be. One minute I was screaming, the next I was about to cry...
Billie Joe wrapped his arms around me, and stood there as I was pretty much crying. With his arms still around me, he walked us to the couch, and we both layed down, facing each other, but my head was now buried in his neck, and his arm still around me. He didn't have to say anything to make me feel better, just knowing he was there made me feel a lot better.
I've had boyfriends, but they were all assholes. I never really had someone that would sit with me, and let me cry when I needed to. I've never really had a guy friend that helped me out, that let me depend on them... Billie Joe was the only guy that really gave a shit about me, apart from my brother.
After a while I slowly stopped crying, I was just too tired to Cry. I had cried most tears I had right then. I opened my eyes, to see Billie Joe's eyes closed... But he hadn't been snoring, so I knew he wasn't asleep.
"You okay?" I heard him whisper after a couple minutes
I smiled, burying my head back in his neck. "Yeah" I said
"Good" he said again
"Billie Joe?"
"Hmmm?"
"Thanks"
I looked at him quickly, to see his eyes closed, but a smile across his face, before I buried my head for the last time that night in his neck, and fell asleep.
I didn't move. Hell, I was scared to breathe. Billie Joe had to tell me to breathe about 10 times before I finally listened to him. I know it sounds stupid how scared I was... But this was my mother. She had caused me so much pain. She would get drunk and lay on the beatings... I'd go to school with bruises that you could spot miles away.
"Your... Mom?" Said Billie Joe, dropping his voice into a whisper.
I nodded, gulping. Billie Joe walked up to me, and put his arm around my waist, pulling my away from the door, and to the stairs. He whispered something in my ear, I nodded, and ran upstairs, into his room. Why he had told me to go in there, I don't know why. But I was so scared, I wasn't about to argue with him... And I knew he wouldn't do anything to hurt me.
I closed and locked his bedroom door, and put my ear up against the door. Did I mention that I was scared?
"Where's my fucking daughter?!" I heard from downstairs
"Miss, if I knew who the hell you were that would help" Billie Joe snapped
"I'm Amanda's mother, you bastard."
"Thanks for the info..."
I had to give it up to Billie Joe for staying so damn calm, or just at least acting calm.
"Where is she?!"
"I don't even know Amanda..."
"I just saw her open the door!"
"Okay..."
"OKAY? Listen Mr. Fucking Armstrong, I want my goddamn daughter back"
"Back? I didn't fucking take her!"
"I know you have my mother fucking daughter, now let me get her and I could just leave you alone"
"Listen lady, I don't know what the hell your talking about. I don't just take in girls I find, I don't talk to a lot of them... So what makes you think I'd go up to your daughter and invite her to my house?"
"I don't know, maybe your some freak that takes in 18 year olds, and does something to them!"
I heard Billie Joe laugh at that
"I take in 18 year olds? And if I DID meet your daughter, what would I do to her? I'm not a fucking rapist you know"
"I want my daughter back! I saw her open the door, god knows what your doing to her!"
"Who knows what I'M doing to her?! Your fucking daughter has bruises on her from assholes like you that have no idea how to fucking take care of someone! I have two fucking sons, and I've never hurt them! I don't think its real hard for anyone to keep their hands off of someone else, but not you and your husband! You have to fucking hurt your daughter! So whatever I am doing to her, is better than what you would do!" He yelled, and I could tell by his voice that he was more than pissed off.
My mother didn't say anything... Well, I couldn't hear her. I started to freak out, because I didn't hear Billie Joe either. I looked at my watch, it was 5:00. It seemed like they had been arguing forever... And now it had just stopped.
I walked around his room, trying to keep down. I wanted to run out there to see if everything was okay, but I knew if my mother was down there, and had seen me... It just wouldn't be good... She wouldn't care Billie Joe was famous, she would do whatever she could to him.. She didn't care if someone was famous, she always gave them a piece of her mind...
I was walking around, and looking down when I slammed head first into the wall, making me fall back on the floor, hitting my head on the ground... I had hit my head pretty hard... I had blacked out...
"My fucking head" I groaned sitting up.
I got up, after sitting there for a moment, and looked around. I heard the TV downstairs, and that's really all...
I stumbled over to the door. Why did I have to black out? And why was everything silent? I flung the door open and sort of stumbled down the stairs. My head really hurt. There was a cut in it from when I fell on the floor. It was really dark out... I looked down at my watch... God, I had been out for a while... It was 8:00... I was so tired I felt like it was like 1 in the morning.
When I finally made it down the stairs, without falling down them, I looked around. Billie Joe was asleep on the couch, snoring... What the hell had happened? Why was he sleeping? What? I was too confused. Had I just had another nightmare with my mom coming?
I walked into the kitchen to get something to drink, and at the sound of me walking in the kitchen Billie Joe woke up. I hadn't noticed at first, though.
"Hey" he said sleepily, walking in.
At the sound of his voice I jumped up, and turned around.
"Billie Joe!" I said, hugging him
He hugged me, but was confused why I was hugging him so tight.
"Are.. You.. Okay?" Asked Billie Joe
"Yeah, I'm okay... But what happened?!"
He of course knew what I was talking about.
We went over, and sat down on the couch next to each other, we didn't feel like just standing there in the kitchen.
"So.. Billie... What happened?" I asked once he sat down
"Well, what did you hear?" He asked, smiling a little
I told him everything I'd heard, and he nodded.
"Okay... Wait... You passed out?"
I nodded, "Yep... I walked into your wall, and fell back hard on your floor"
"Oh... I was gettin really fuckin scared when I tried to open the door and shit when your mom finally left... But I figured you might have fell asleep.. Or something, and it was locked"
I smiled a little, and looked down, wrapping my fingers in my belt loop. Except for the day I met him on the plane, I had never felt so nervous being around him. I had a small thing of butterfly's in my stomach, and I had no idea why. Except for right now, I wasn't nervous to talk to him... Well, except for the day I met him when I was thinking "Wholey shit what the hell is going on?"
We had been sitting there for a while, when I finally asked him once more to tell me what happened.
"Oh, sorry, right" He said, and then continued. "I told her to get outta the house and she argued, she told me she would take me to court for taking you, and I told her that I don't think they would care that you were with me when they found out how they abused you and shit"
I just looked at him, until I finally asked him something. "And she just left?"
"After a while she did..."
I felt a tear go down my cheek, and then before I knew it tons of tears were crawling down my cheeks. I felt so bad for dragging Billie Joe into my fucked up family, I felt so bad for making him meet my mom. I buried my head into his shoulder, and cried. I felt guilty for this... And well, I was.
He put his arm around my waist, and just sat next to me, letting me cry, letting me get it out of my system. I had to cry, no one could have stopped me... Not even Tre...
The time seemed to fly by. The last time I had looked at my watch it was 8:00, now it was 11... No I hadn't been crying all that time. I had full intension to sleep alone in my bed that night. I promised myself that tonight I wouldn't need to be around Billie Joe... What a fucked up promise that was. After my mom had come, I really didn't want to go anywhere if Billie Joe wasn't going to be there. I was just scared shitless she would come again, and Billie Joe wouldn't be there to protect me and a bunch of that crap...
I tried to sleep alone in my bed, but I ended up getting up and going downstairs... I sat where I had sat before my mom had come, and just stared at the ceiling. I wasn't ready for bed, I felt like I couldn't sleep. I curled up on the couch, putting my arms around my legs, and my chin on the top of my knees. I had my "Kiss Me" pajama pants on, with my Green Day tank top on. I hadn't worn those in a while... Usually it was my regular Green Day hoodie, and just pajama pants...
Around my neck I still had my necklace on. I refused to take it off, I couldn't... I just didn't want to. I slid my thumb and pointer finger over its smooth surface, and my thoughts just took me away. My mind wondered upon something... It wasn't totally my fault my mother had found out where I was... In fact... When I really thought about it... It was Becky's fault... I trusted her enough to tell her where I was... And she went out and told everyone... What the hell was she thinking?! My thoughts went from easy going, to pure hatred. Why the hell did she have to tell everyone where the hell I was?! I was so mad I bet you could have seen steam coming out of my ears.
I ran upstairs, and grabbed my cell phone. I didn't give a crap what time it was. If I didn't call Becky right then, I probably would have taken my anger out on someone... And since the only other person in the house was Billie Joe, I probably would have taken my anger out on him... And that's one of the last things I needed to happen.
I turned my cell phone on, ran back downstairs, and then went into the basement. By how angry I had gotten in the last 15 seconds, I knew I wasn't going to be able to whisper for very long. I closed and locked the basement door, and called Becky, fuming.
"Hello?" I heard a sleepy voice on the other end of the phone
"Hi" I said, trying not to start screamin at first
"Mandy? What the hell? It's fucking 4:45 here! Why the hell are you calling me?!" She said, annoyed
"Well I'm SORRY I didn't let you get your fucking beauty sleep" I snapped
"Chill out, whats got you in a bitchy mood?"
"My fucking mother showed up tonight!" I yelled... Honestly... I had tried not to...
"She did?!"
"Yeah, she fucking did! And you know what? Everything would have been fucking fine if you knew how to shut the hell up!"
Becky didn't say anything for a moment, and then spat "What?"
"What the hell were you fucking thinking telling everyone I was staying with Billie Joe? Couldn't you have shut the hell up ONCE in your fucking life?!"
"Mandy! I was fucking sleeping! And you call me for this bullshit?!"
"It's not bullshit! You fucking told every fucking person in that town, and it got to my parents! What the Hell Becky?!"
"Ya know what Mandy-"
"No! And I don't really CARE what YOU have to say!"
"Then WHY did you call me?! AT 4:45 IN THE MORNING I MIGHT ADD!" She said, starting to yell.
"BECAUSE! I HAVE PARENTS TO RUIN MY FUCKING LIFE! I DIDN'T NEED YOU TO GO RUNNING AND TELLING EVERYONE!"
"You think you can tell everyone off Mandy because you're staying with Bi-"
"THIS ISN'T ABOUT THAT! AND NO I DON'T! YOU THINK I DO BECAUSE YOU'RE SO FUCKING STUPID YOU BARELY KNOW ME IT'S LIKE!"
"MANDY! Shut the hell up!" She yelled
"If you knew ANYTHING about me, you wouldn't have ran around like a little bitch and told everyone in the town"
"I was excited for you"
"No you weren't... You were excited that you had a friend staying at the guy you love for his looks house... Which is overly pathetic" I snarled
"I don't just like him for his looks"
I laughed, and then turned back to the phone "Yeah you do... I'd be listening to their CD's, and you'd be looking him up. You barely listened to their music... It just shows how pathetic you are... Your like a teenie"
She was shocked how I was being... You could tell.
"Listen Mandy, I'd LOVE to sit here and argue with you, but I have to go to bed now... Like NORMAL people"
"You do that, don't call me back or anything... Talking to you now is worst than talking to my own parents" I snapped, and hung up on her.
I went to open the door from the basement, to see a tired, and shocked Billie Joe standing at the top of the stairs. Oh come on! Did he really have to hear all that?!
He just looked at me, and raised his eyebrow, wanting to know what the yelling had been about.
"It was nothing Billie Joe" I snapped
"You mean I woke up in the middle of the night to hear you screaming downstairs over nothing?" He said, sarcastically.
I looked at him for a moment, "Right" I snapped
"Cut the crap Mandy"
"Yea... I never liked that job"
"Nice attitude, what got you going?"
"Nothing"
Scary enough, I was really trying not to be rude, but I couldn't help it.
"Wow, your so convincing" He said, again, sarcastically
"I know, I try"
"I could tell"
I glared at him, and sat down on the couch.
"Why are you so pissed off?" He asked
"Becky, Billie Joe!"
"Why?"
"Cuz she can't keep her mouth closed! It's HER fault my mother came here today! She ran around telling EVERYONE where I was!"
He just looked at me, confused at what I was saying, and then it seemed to sink in.
"Why did she do that?"
"I don't know, Billie Joe!"
I stood up, and walked over to him, burring my head is chest. I was more than up set. Today had just made me emotional, more emotional than I wanted to be. One minute I was screaming, the next I was about to cry...
Billie Joe wrapped his arms around me, and stood there as I was pretty much crying. With his arms still around me, he walked us to the couch, and we both layed down, facing each other, but my head was now buried in his neck, and his arm still around me. He didn't have to say anything to make me feel better, just knowing he was there made me feel a lot better.
I've had boyfriends, but they were all assholes. I never really had someone that would sit with me, and let me cry when I needed to. I've never really had a guy friend that helped me out, that let me depend on them... Billie Joe was the only guy that really gave a shit about me, apart from my brother.
After a while I slowly stopped crying, I was just too tired to Cry. I had cried most tears I had right then. I opened my eyes, to see Billie Joe's eyes closed... But he hadn't been snoring, so I knew he wasn't asleep.
"You okay?" I heard him whisper after a couple minutes
I smiled, burying my head back in his neck. "Yeah" I said
"Good" he said again
"Billie Joe?"
"Hmmm?"
"Thanks"
I looked at him quickly, to see his eyes closed, but a smile across his face, before I buried my head for the last time that night in his neck, and fell asleep.