Sequel: In the End ›
It Started Off With Just A Trip To Oakland, California
Going Home
As soon as I got home from the mall, I went right to my room. My mother was probably drunk... So there was no reason to go near her... I wanted to check on the computer to see if anything else was posted on the guys... I don't know, I just usually liked to check the website to see.
I walked into my room, careful not to slam the door. I didn't need anyone seeing why I had slammed it... I really didn't. I turned on my computer, and changed into a tank top and sweat pants before sitting down.
Was there any use in checking if anything was new in the last day? Did I really want to know? No... I didn't. God, I had to stop thinking about California for now. Or well, at least until I was on the plane. Yup, that's what I was going to do.
'What time is it over there? Stop it... Is he okay? Stop it! When am I going to get back there? Stop it! Does he notice I'm gone? Oh, well, that's stupid.. Of course, he's not stupid. There were two people in his house, now theres one... He knows math. '
I wanted to scream at myself. I was torturing myself, I really was. I hated this so much... I really did... Really, really... Whatever... I ended up just plugging headphones into my computer, and turning up the music as loud as it could go.
I was killing myself, slowly and painfully... Before I met Billie Joe, I hate rockstars... Hated them. They were all idiots to me. Well, not Green Day as much, because I loved them, but I never had the fantasy to meet them. I always thought it would be cool...
All I did was listen to their music, and go to their concerts, but that's really all. I always heard famous people were assholes because they were famous. I never heard that about Green Day, but once I hear it about some people, I just thought it about all of the famous people.
I never saw why anyone famous was so special. To me, they were idiots with a voice, or can act... Well, most actors can't act... But anyway, so I hear they think their all that and it got me pissed off. So I stopped giving a care about them. I only listened to Green Day, and went to their concerts... But I never did anything crazy for a chance to meet them.
But when I met Billie Joe on the plane... I don't know... I thought 'wholey shit' but it didn't change my about them until he offered for me to sit in the front. And then I sat up there, and Tre and Mike made me want to laugh like I could never stop, I don't know... There's some point to this... But I can't find it...
What was the point of everything? What was the point in going to California? What was the point for falling for him? To like him, and then be taken away? What was the point?
I slammed my head against the wall, wanting to fall into some weird coma or something and forget everything. Forget who I was, forgot the ones I loved... Because it was only a tear in my heart now that I didn't have them. So what was the point thinking about them?
My brother had always told me not to go crazy over guys... He said that when I got dumped by my first boyfriend, and ever since then I promised I would never get too attached. I promised him, and myself I would never cry over a guy... So what was I doing?
"AMANDA! ARE YOU UP THERE? WHAT'S THE BANGING?!"
"No mom, I'm not up here, and that banging was the useless shit of a brain you have in your head moving around" I snarled
"EXCUSE ME?!"
"Nothing"
"OPEN THE DOOR!"
"If you want me to open it, I advise you to go rub a lamp"
"AMANDA! OPEN THIS GOD DAMN DOOR!"
"I have a baseball bat in here that I have from softball, what makes you think that-"
"OPEN THE DOOR!"
"No"
"Get out of the house!"
"I thought you wanted me in it" I sighed, leaning against the door, trying not to cry
"We do! You can't expect us..."
But her voice faded out as I climbed out my window... I couldn't take it anymore. I had grabbed a pair of jeans and some t-shirt, and all the money I had... $35. 50...
I got out, and ran as fast as I could to Steph's house. Knowing my mom she was probably still talking, and telling me that she loves me, and not to run away because she would find me... God I hated her.
"STEPH! OPEN UP THE STUPID FREAKIN DOOR BEFORE I HAVE TO OPEN IT MYSELF, YOU IDIOT!" I yelled, banging on her door
Steph appeared at the door, a minute later, looking tired
"You were asleep?" I asked
"Not yet, I was at the computer... Falling asleep"
I smiled, "My mom kicked me out... I need to crash here, until I get back to California"
"She kicked you out? But she was the one who tried to get you home..."
"I know... She's a drunk, what can ya do?" I said, walking in
Steph nodded, and brought me to a room where I could stay. I said thanks, and laid down, hopefully to sleep...
'When will I get back there? Will I get back there? What was the thinking when he saw I wasn't there? Does he care? '
Those 4 questions wouldn't let me sleep. I ended up just getting up, and going down the stairs, to the couch. I turned on the TV, even though nothing was on... It was late... Or early.
After a little while, I finally fell asleep. Sleep felt nice...
***
"Wake up! You're late for work!"
"What? What time is it?" I asked, sitting up as Steph sat next to me
"11:30"
"Shit! I was suppose to be there at 11! I'm still on California time" I said, getting up
"Why? What time did you sleep until there?"
"Uhm... Sometimes until noon. That was Billie Joe's fault, though" I smiled
"Oooohh" She cooed
"Shut up, Steph" I laughed, running up the stairs, to change quickly
***
*Back In California*
Billie Joe walked down the stairs, and sat at the table in the kitchen. He still had no idea what was going on. If she was mad at him, and ran away... Wouldn't she be back by now? Did she run away? Why wasn't she there when he got out of the shower?
He put his head down on the table, and just thought. What had happened? Everything was so confused, and fucked up. The phone rang, making him jump up, hitting his head. He mumbled something, and got up, going over to the phone.
"Hello?"
"Hey Bill, anything?"
It was Mike...
"No..."
"Agh, I'm sorry Bill"
"It's okay... I mean, I searched everywhere, right?"
Mike laughed a little, "You went through this whole town, and the ones around it. She'll be back, Bill"
"You'd think so, right? I mean, she left all her stuff here"
"She'll be back"
"Yeah, whatever. I gotta go... I'm... Not feeling really well" Billie Joe lied
"Okay, I'll talk to ya later man"
"Yeah, talk to ya later"
He hung up the phone, and sat on the couch. Was it so much the confusion that was killing him, or was it the fact he missed her? He knew he shouldn't be missing her... But he was. Agh fuck, why couldn't he miss her? He did miss her. And then, for some reason, it had just come to him...
***
*Back In Connecticut*
"I'm here!" I yelled, tripping over my shoe lace, and falling on my back somehow.
Adam looked up at me, and tried not to laugh. He walked over to help me up.
"Are you okay?" He laughed
"Just peachy"
"Oh, yeah, you're late"
"I overslept"
"You? Oversleep? Nooo!" He said, sarcastically
"Thanks, I really needed that sarcasm"
"No problem, you know I'm always here to give ya it"
I rolled my eyes, and smiled. "Oh... Mom kicked me out last night..."
"What?!"
"Yeah... And then she tried to take it back.. But I was leaving, so I didn't hear it..."
"Where are you staying?"
"Stephs... Until I get outta here"
"About that... You may want to wait a while... Like a couple weeks... Because if you leave as soon as you get the money.. Mom and dad are gonna know..."
I sighed. He was right, but another two weeks? I don't know how I could go that far...
"I'm not sayin you'll never see him again... I'm just saying, wait"
"Yeah... I know..."
2 weeks... How was I gonna survive?
***
*2 WEEKS LATER*
"You do realize what this means, right?!" I said, to Adam in work
"Yup"
"I have almost enough!"
"That's awesome, Mand, it really is"
"Yeah... I know... I almost have enough..."
2 weeks later, I almost had enough. Almost enough... But it almost meant I had been almost 3 weeks later since I left Billie Joe's house... Almost three weeks... And I had ALMOST enough... So that meant at least another week.
The weeks had felt like months. Long, annoying months. But I had gotten through them, thank god.
"We're closing up, I'll give you a ride back to Steph's" Said Adam
"What? Oh, okay, thanks" I said, walking out of the store
We got into his car, and he drove me back to Steph's
"All right, I'll see you tomorrow" I said, as I was about to get out
"Um.. Yah" He said, like he was trying to hide something
"What? What do you mean umm.. Yeah?"
"Nothing. I'll see ya tomorrow"
"Ookay..." I said, rolling my eyes, playfully
We both said good night, and I walked into the house, to see Steph on the phone with someone.
"Hey" I said, as I walked upstairs into my room
She nodded, and smiled and kept talking. I just walked into my room upstairs, and laid down on the bed.
'Here I go thinking about it, again' I thought
I just closed my eyes, and started to doze off when Steph tapped me on the shoulder. I opened my eyes, and looked at her.
"What?"
"I got you something"
I smiled, and sat up. "What?"
"Well, it's kinda from me, Adam, and Becky"
"What is it?" I asked, confused at why they might have gotten me something.
She took an envelope out of her pocket and handed it to me. I looked up at her, confused.
"Stop staring at me, and open it!"
"All right, all right"
I opened the envelope and pulled out cash... And counted it.
"I have exactly enough to get back there..." I whispered to myself
I looked up at Steph, a huge smile going on my face, "I have enough to get back!" I yelled, jumping up, and hugging her quickly
I didn't know what to do. I was freaking out, I couldn't believe it! I had been there for almost 3 weeks, and now I had enough to get back! I had enough, I had enough, I had enough!
"Yeah, that wasn't a mistake. We got you money so you could go see your bbooooyyffrrriieeennndd"
"Steph," I sighed, and she just laughed
"I'm just kidding! But yeah, you have enough to get back to California"
Tears started coming to my eyes. I don't know why, but I'm guessing it was because of how happy I was. I hadn't been this happy since I was in California. And now I was going back!
"I would have packed your stuff... But you don't have anything"
I laughed, and got up. I laughed... It felt like I hadn't laughed in forever.
I looked over at Steph, and then looked down, "I'm... Gonna go... Tonight" I said
"I know. We all knew that. Adam is waiting in his car outside for you"
I couldn't believe this... I really couldn't... I was going to leave... For California, to be back to what felt like home
I walked into my room, careful not to slam the door. I didn't need anyone seeing why I had slammed it... I really didn't. I turned on my computer, and changed into a tank top and sweat pants before sitting down.
Was there any use in checking if anything was new in the last day? Did I really want to know? No... I didn't. God, I had to stop thinking about California for now. Or well, at least until I was on the plane. Yup, that's what I was going to do.
'What time is it over there? Stop it... Is he okay? Stop it! When am I going to get back there? Stop it! Does he notice I'm gone? Oh, well, that's stupid.. Of course, he's not stupid. There were two people in his house, now theres one... He knows math. '
I wanted to scream at myself. I was torturing myself, I really was. I hated this so much... I really did... Really, really... Whatever... I ended up just plugging headphones into my computer, and turning up the music as loud as it could go.
I was killing myself, slowly and painfully... Before I met Billie Joe, I hate rockstars... Hated them. They were all idiots to me. Well, not Green Day as much, because I loved them, but I never had the fantasy to meet them. I always thought it would be cool...
All I did was listen to their music, and go to their concerts, but that's really all. I always heard famous people were assholes because they were famous. I never heard that about Green Day, but once I hear it about some people, I just thought it about all of the famous people.
I never saw why anyone famous was so special. To me, they were idiots with a voice, or can act... Well, most actors can't act... But anyway, so I hear they think their all that and it got me pissed off. So I stopped giving a care about them. I only listened to Green Day, and went to their concerts... But I never did anything crazy for a chance to meet them.
But when I met Billie Joe on the plane... I don't know... I thought 'wholey shit' but it didn't change my about them until he offered for me to sit in the front. And then I sat up there, and Tre and Mike made me want to laugh like I could never stop, I don't know... There's some point to this... But I can't find it...
What was the point of everything? What was the point in going to California? What was the point for falling for him? To like him, and then be taken away? What was the point?
I slammed my head against the wall, wanting to fall into some weird coma or something and forget everything. Forget who I was, forgot the ones I loved... Because it was only a tear in my heart now that I didn't have them. So what was the point thinking about them?
My brother had always told me not to go crazy over guys... He said that when I got dumped by my first boyfriend, and ever since then I promised I would never get too attached. I promised him, and myself I would never cry over a guy... So what was I doing?
"AMANDA! ARE YOU UP THERE? WHAT'S THE BANGING?!"
"No mom, I'm not up here, and that banging was the useless shit of a brain you have in your head moving around" I snarled
"EXCUSE ME?!"
"Nothing"
"OPEN THE DOOR!"
"If you want me to open it, I advise you to go rub a lamp"
"AMANDA! OPEN THIS GOD DAMN DOOR!"
"I have a baseball bat in here that I have from softball, what makes you think that-"
"OPEN THE DOOR!"
"No"
"Get out of the house!"
"I thought you wanted me in it" I sighed, leaning against the door, trying not to cry
"We do! You can't expect us..."
But her voice faded out as I climbed out my window... I couldn't take it anymore. I had grabbed a pair of jeans and some t-shirt, and all the money I had... $35. 50...
I got out, and ran as fast as I could to Steph's house. Knowing my mom she was probably still talking, and telling me that she loves me, and not to run away because she would find me... God I hated her.
"STEPH! OPEN UP THE STUPID FREAKIN DOOR BEFORE I HAVE TO OPEN IT MYSELF, YOU IDIOT!" I yelled, banging on her door
Steph appeared at the door, a minute later, looking tired
"You were asleep?" I asked
"Not yet, I was at the computer... Falling asleep"
I smiled, "My mom kicked me out... I need to crash here, until I get back to California"
"She kicked you out? But she was the one who tried to get you home..."
"I know... She's a drunk, what can ya do?" I said, walking in
Steph nodded, and brought me to a room where I could stay. I said thanks, and laid down, hopefully to sleep...
'When will I get back there? Will I get back there? What was the thinking when he saw I wasn't there? Does he care? '
Those 4 questions wouldn't let me sleep. I ended up just getting up, and going down the stairs, to the couch. I turned on the TV, even though nothing was on... It was late... Or early.
After a little while, I finally fell asleep. Sleep felt nice...
***
"Wake up! You're late for work!"
"What? What time is it?" I asked, sitting up as Steph sat next to me
"11:30"
"Shit! I was suppose to be there at 11! I'm still on California time" I said, getting up
"Why? What time did you sleep until there?"
"Uhm... Sometimes until noon. That was Billie Joe's fault, though" I smiled
"Oooohh" She cooed
"Shut up, Steph" I laughed, running up the stairs, to change quickly
***
*Back In California*
Billie Joe walked down the stairs, and sat at the table in the kitchen. He still had no idea what was going on. If she was mad at him, and ran away... Wouldn't she be back by now? Did she run away? Why wasn't she there when he got out of the shower?
He put his head down on the table, and just thought. What had happened? Everything was so confused, and fucked up. The phone rang, making him jump up, hitting his head. He mumbled something, and got up, going over to the phone.
"Hello?"
"Hey Bill, anything?"
It was Mike...
"No..."
"Agh, I'm sorry Bill"
"It's okay... I mean, I searched everywhere, right?"
Mike laughed a little, "You went through this whole town, and the ones around it. She'll be back, Bill"
"You'd think so, right? I mean, she left all her stuff here"
"She'll be back"
"Yeah, whatever. I gotta go... I'm... Not feeling really well" Billie Joe lied
"Okay, I'll talk to ya later man"
"Yeah, talk to ya later"
He hung up the phone, and sat on the couch. Was it so much the confusion that was killing him, or was it the fact he missed her? He knew he shouldn't be missing her... But he was. Agh fuck, why couldn't he miss her? He did miss her. And then, for some reason, it had just come to him...
***
*Back In Connecticut*
"I'm here!" I yelled, tripping over my shoe lace, and falling on my back somehow.
Adam looked up at me, and tried not to laugh. He walked over to help me up.
"Are you okay?" He laughed
"Just peachy"
"Oh, yeah, you're late"
"I overslept"
"You? Oversleep? Nooo!" He said, sarcastically
"Thanks, I really needed that sarcasm"
"No problem, you know I'm always here to give ya it"
I rolled my eyes, and smiled. "Oh... Mom kicked me out last night..."
"What?!"
"Yeah... And then she tried to take it back.. But I was leaving, so I didn't hear it..."
"Where are you staying?"
"Stephs... Until I get outta here"
"About that... You may want to wait a while... Like a couple weeks... Because if you leave as soon as you get the money.. Mom and dad are gonna know..."
I sighed. He was right, but another two weeks? I don't know how I could go that far...
"I'm not sayin you'll never see him again... I'm just saying, wait"
"Yeah... I know..."
2 weeks... How was I gonna survive?
***
*2 WEEKS LATER*
"You do realize what this means, right?!" I said, to Adam in work
"Yup"
"I have almost enough!"
"That's awesome, Mand, it really is"
"Yeah... I know... I almost have enough..."
2 weeks later, I almost had enough. Almost enough... But it almost meant I had been almost 3 weeks later since I left Billie Joe's house... Almost three weeks... And I had ALMOST enough... So that meant at least another week.
The weeks had felt like months. Long, annoying months. But I had gotten through them, thank god.
"We're closing up, I'll give you a ride back to Steph's" Said Adam
"What? Oh, okay, thanks" I said, walking out of the store
We got into his car, and he drove me back to Steph's
"All right, I'll see you tomorrow" I said, as I was about to get out
"Um.. Yah" He said, like he was trying to hide something
"What? What do you mean umm.. Yeah?"
"Nothing. I'll see ya tomorrow"
"Ookay..." I said, rolling my eyes, playfully
We both said good night, and I walked into the house, to see Steph on the phone with someone.
"Hey" I said, as I walked upstairs into my room
She nodded, and smiled and kept talking. I just walked into my room upstairs, and laid down on the bed.
'Here I go thinking about it, again' I thought
I just closed my eyes, and started to doze off when Steph tapped me on the shoulder. I opened my eyes, and looked at her.
"What?"
"I got you something"
I smiled, and sat up. "What?"
"Well, it's kinda from me, Adam, and Becky"
"What is it?" I asked, confused at why they might have gotten me something.
She took an envelope out of her pocket and handed it to me. I looked up at her, confused.
"Stop staring at me, and open it!"
"All right, all right"
I opened the envelope and pulled out cash... And counted it.
"I have exactly enough to get back there..." I whispered to myself
I looked up at Steph, a huge smile going on my face, "I have enough to get back!" I yelled, jumping up, and hugging her quickly
I didn't know what to do. I was freaking out, I couldn't believe it! I had been there for almost 3 weeks, and now I had enough to get back! I had enough, I had enough, I had enough!
"Yeah, that wasn't a mistake. We got you money so you could go see your bbooooyyffrrriieeennndd"
"Steph," I sighed, and she just laughed
"I'm just kidding! But yeah, you have enough to get back to California"
Tears started coming to my eyes. I don't know why, but I'm guessing it was because of how happy I was. I hadn't been this happy since I was in California. And now I was going back!
"I would have packed your stuff... But you don't have anything"
I laughed, and got up. I laughed... It felt like I hadn't laughed in forever.
I looked over at Steph, and then looked down, "I'm... Gonna go... Tonight" I said
"I know. We all knew that. Adam is waiting in his car outside for you"
I couldn't believe this... I really couldn't... I was going to leave... For California, to be back to what felt like home