Maybe Memories

It was two days, if that, before I found out the way Lewis really was. He was a party boy, the exact king of person I always dreamed of being. And I found out that with Lewis’s help that I could be the person. It started out with a few beers at Matt’s (Lewis’s best friends) house and then it escaladed to my first real party. It was strange, yeah, with all these unfamiliar people dancing all up on each other, but with a few drinks it didn’t matter anymore. I began to see that I really liked the party scene.

And it would only take me a little while to figure out that the party scene liked no one.

But it didn’t matter to me apparently, because I kept going out for more. On my very own sisters birthday, I skipped out on a Spongebob cake to get wasted with Lewis, Matt and Steve. You see, Steve was seventeen and could legally drive us around, so everyone once and a while--everyone other day, really--he picked me up from my house and I told her that I was out with some random friend of mine. Lets just say sixth grade year I got really close to “Liana” and I’ll tell you right now, I don’t know a living soul with that name.

I did everything at parties except the drugs. Those I never did, because Lewis wouldn’t let me. He took them, but it was never anything stronger than XTC. I drank though, so much that I didn’t know who I was the next morning, smoked like a chimney, danced on tables with Ashley, Lewis’s cousin, which I had my frist lesbian experience with.

I guess I should explain a little bit about that. Lewis and I had a very simple rule. Simple only to us, but that’s not the point. I guess you could say that we had an open relationship because whenever we were at parties we were free to hook up (no sex though) with whomever we want. And Ashley, she wasn’t an exception. I guess I should be ashamed to say that the first time I was ever “with” a girl that it was on top of a bar counter with her skirt pulled up over her stomach, but I’m not. I’m not ashamed of my old self at all, because I cant change it.

And even though we did these things at parties, we were still strong than ever in our relationship, never doubting one another. And I can honestly say that I love him, and he said that the feeling was mutual.

He wouldn’t have sex with me though, no matter how much I wanted to, and he did to. He wanted to wait until I was at least thirteen though, the same age as him when he first lost his virginity (to Matt before Matt got with Steve) and did his first drug. So I agreed grudgingly. That didn’t stop us from doing other things though. A lot of other things actually, everything but sex countless times. Sometimes it would involve cake batter. Sometimes it would involve Steve’s Jacuzzi, Matt and Steve included.

But that doesn’t matter much though, all you need to know is that I was officially a party scene queen with a gorgeous “emo-labeled” boyfriend who I was crazy about.

Now you might be asking what’s so bad about that? Or maybe you’re wondering if everything was so great then why am I not with him right now? That has a very simple answer.

Autumn Leanne Rutkowski.

You see, my cousin in quite the attention whore that has a thing for ruining my life whenever she can. She thinks my misery is funny, that sadistic little bitch. (I’m sorry but I truly hate every last bitchy fake-blonge hair on her head) She todl Lewis that I was cheating on him, with some random person she made up. That’s her talent. She makes people up in the little games she likes to play.

Lewis was a paranoid person and he believed her of course. After all, Autumn was my “best friend”. It didn’t help that he switched his phone number the following day or that hew as completely ignoring me.

Nope, he swept me right under the bus, just like everyone else. He forgot about me but I still loved him. There was someone there to rescue me though, if only for a while before she, too, forgot about me.

Should we talk about the girl that I though would be my salvation? Should we talk about the girl that strung me along for almost three years with a line of false hope before she got tired of me and cut me off?

Oh yes, Let’s talk about Kaitlyn Marie Ort.