Living for the Music

After the bell rang, Seth walked with me to the parking lot. He held my hand, but it was friendly, nothing unusual for the two of us. When we reached the car, I climbed into the passenger’s seat of the Volvo and relaxed into the seat. The first day back and I had survived. Now I just had to deal with… the next four months.

“You made it,” Seth said lightly, echoing my thoughts. He reached over and grabbed my hand again, squeezing it lightly.

“Yeah,” I murmured, half to myself. “Seth?”

“Hmm?”

“Are you doing anything this weekend?”

“I don’t think so… Why?”

“You know that studio recording thing? Well, I think you know I can invite another person and I was thinking about inviting you but then that thing with Aaron happened and I decided not to but now that he’s out of the picture I was wondering if you wanted to go with me.” I let the words flow out in a long rush, afraid that if I stopped I’d lose my nerve.

“Sure.”

“I mean, you don’t have to do anything special, just play the guitar like you did for the demo, and – what?”

I paused as his words caught up to me. “You’ll go? Really?”

“Are you kidding? You’re giving me the chance to actually record in a professional studio. Why would I say no?”

“I dunno,” I muttered. “I guess I thought… but you’ll come with me?”

“Yes,” he repeated, laughing slightly as he parked in front of his house. “I would be happy to come with you. I might even be able to convince Mom to let us use the car.”

“That would be awesome,” I sighed. I leaned across the console and gave him a hug, letting my arms linger around him a little longer than necessary. He wrapped his own arms around me, pulling me closer to him.

I smiled into his chest, breathing in his boy scent before slowly starting to pull myself back. Before I could, Seth reached out and cupped my face, forcing me to look at him. His eyes searched mine for a moment before he leaned in and brushed his lips across mine.

He pulled back almost immediately. “I’m sorry, I know it’s probably not… after Aaron, you probably don’t…”

I frowned slightly. "What do you mean?"

"Well, what you said earlier... you meant we're something, but you need some time after Aaron. Right?"

I rolled my eyes. Boys were so oblivious sometimes. Before he could dig the hole any deeper, I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him again. “It was always you,” I murmured against his lips. “Even when I was with Aaron, some part of me knew that I should be with you. The part of me that fell in love with you in second grade refused to go away. It just… took awhile for the rest of me to catch on.”

"Then what did you mean?" he pressed, pulling away.

I sighed. Couldn't he just let it go? It wasn't supposed to be something he analyzed. "I just didn't think Aaron would react very well if he saw us together, especially so soon after he and I broke up," I explained, trying to stay patient.

"So... Is that what you want?" he asked seriously. “A hidden relationship? Friends in public, something else when it’s just us?”

I immediately shook my head. "No! Not at all. I just didn't want you two to get into another fight.... not when everything was going so perfectly."

Seth’s face relaxed. “Good."

I couldn't help but smile at the relieved expression on his face.

"So... how long does this don't-tell-Aaron thing last?"

I smirked. "What are you thinking, Seth?"

"I'm debating how long I need to wait until I can ask you out."

I felt a smile spread across my face. "Seriously?"

"Of course seriously. Do you think I'd joke about this?"

I threw my arms around him, which was only slightly awkward with the console in between us. "Is that supposed to be an answer?" he laughed.

I nodded.

"Well, in that case, do you want to go out sometime next week?”

"I'd love to," I replied gleefully before leaning in to kiss him again.

I could feel him smiling, and I felt like maybe, just maybe, he was half as excited as I was about this.

"After this is done," he promised. "After we've recorded your demo and had the time of our lives, then I'll take you out on a real date."

I smiled. Suddenly, the future didn't look to bad. Yeah, I still had to deal with my Dad, and Aaron, and all the drama I just knew would be circulating around the school. But this time, I wasn't on my own. I had Seth. I had my music. And I knew I was going to be okay.