Living for the Music

History was... long. And boring. The only good news was that the teacher expected you to take notes, and he didn't care which notebook I had out. I spend some time staring at a blank page, twirling my pencil, trying to get the words to come.

They didn’t.

I guess I wasn’t that surprised. My thoughts were so messed up when it came to Seth, it’s be a blessing to put them into words. And I definitely wasn’t that lucky.

Aaron leaned across the aisle to tap my shoulder. I glanced up in time to see the teacher glance at me. Apparently satisfied that I was paying attention, his gaze moved past me to find another unsuspecting student. I smiled at Aaron who grinned back, settling down in his chair.

I let my eyes wander down his body briefly, taking in his casual stance. He was absolutely gorgeous. But for some reason, I found myself comparing him to a different dark haired boy. The thoughts popped into my head, unbidden and unwanted, but I didn’t have the time or effort to try to repress them.

As the minutes ticked by, I found myself getting more and more nervous. I couldn’t decide whether I was looking forward to talking to Seth or not. I could already tell it was going to be awkward between us. But a part of me really wanted to pick up right where we’d left off.

I glanced at the clock one last time before bending down to put my stuff in my backpack. The bell rang then and I followed Aaron to the science labs. I could feel the butterflies growing in my stomach with every step, knowing I was growing closer to having to face Seth.

But when we walked into the room, Seth wasn’t there. I had a moment’s hope as Aaron and I headed to our lab table – maybe his schedule got changed, maybe I wouldn’t have to see him at all – but it was squashed moments later.

My gaze locked with his as he entered. For a moment, I couldn’t tear my eyes away from his green ones. He sent me a quick smile before turning to talk to the teacher. With the connection broken, I took the time to look around, catching site of the other girls’ reactions.

I guess I could’ve predicted the stares if I had taken the time to think it through. Most of these kids had never met Seth before. And, well, I’d already admitted he was hot. I probably could’ve guessed he would be a chick magnet.

Needless to say, I got some envious stares when he headed towards my lab table. As soon as he stopped, I saw at least two girls move to come over to Seth. I rolled my eyes slightly. Great. Now not only was I going to have to deal with Seth, I had a feeling I’d have to do with our lab table becoming Grand Central Station.

I glanced over at Seth, standing between me and Aaron as if debating where to sit. Aaron solved the problem for him as he raised a hand towards Seth, doing some kind of boy handshake before shoving him down next to him. “How’d you end up over here, man?”

He shrugged. “Apparently it’s the only spot left.”

Aaron grinned at me. “I wouldn’t have anything to do with that.”

I rolled my eyes, too afraid to even try to explain why Aaron had kept all boys away from me. I guess the fact that he was actually happy to have Seth sit with us really showed that he’d changed. Maybe he’d change in…. other ways.

As Mr. Togen began to explain the lab of the day (or week, depending on how it turned out), I put my head down on the table. Between everything that had happened, I hadn’t gotten much sleep last night. If Seth was half as good at science as I remembered, he and Aaron could easily figure it out. I trusted them to tell me what I needed to know.

That was odd, I thought to myself. Why would you trust Seth? After he left you?

Of course she trusts him. They grew up together.

People change. He might not be the same person you remember him being.

Well, of course he’s not the same. But that doesn’t mean he’s not trustable.

I snorted, unable to believe I was actually having this conversation with myself. As the teacher finally stopped talking, I brushed my hair out of my eyes so I could see the boys sitting next to me. “So what was that? In English?”

Seth laughed softly. “I see you haven’t gotten any better at science.”

“I don’t—”

“—do numbers,” Seth finished. “I remember.”

I blushed slightly, letting my hair fall back over my face. For the rest of the class, I followed their lead, doing whatever mundane task they thought I could handle. And okay, if I’m being honest it was really fun to see the two alpha males butting heads over who should take charge of the lab. But it also made it hard for me to remember why they became friends in the first place. It seemed to me like their personalities were too similar to be compatible.

Finally, finally, the lab was done. The day was over. I could finally breathe… I thought. “Hey Sophia,” Aaron called down the hall. “Wait a sec.”

I ignored him, continuing to open my locker. It wasn’t as if I was going anywhere. But I was a little annoyed when I had finished stowing my stuff and he still hadn’t moved any closer to me.

It all made sense when I took the time to look for him. Twenty-some lockers down, Seth was laughing as he threw an almost empty backpack over his shoulder. Aaron lazed in front of him, flanked on either side by Tyler and Noel. I bit back my groan as the four of them started towards me.

“Hey babe, sorry about that,” Aaron said lightly, bending down to kiss me on the cheek.

“No problem,” I replied just as lightly, forcing my anger down.

“So I was just talking with the guys, and they want to head over to my house to chill. I know that messes up our plans, but…”

“It’s cool,” I replied, secretly relieved that I wouldn’t have to deal with Aaron. I was so mixed up right now he’d have every right to get pissed at me.

“Wanna come?” my boyfriend offered half-heartedly.

I made a face. “Male bonding? No thanks.”

“You dunno what you’re missing, babe,” Tyler smirked, leering at me behind Aaron’s back.

I saw Aaron’s eyes flash, and felt Seth stiffen slightly beside me. “If it has to do with you, Tyler, I’m pretty sure I want out.”

He glared at me. “Like I said, you don’t know what you’re missing.”

I stared back at him, forcing him to look away. These were the kind of confrontations I could handle – when I had an audience and I knew I was right. Anything else put me too far out of my comfort zone.

I turned my gaze to Aaron. “Can you drop me off on your way?”

“Of course,” he replied, wrapping an arm around my waist as we headed towards the door. “I wouldn’t take off and leave you all alone.”

I felt my stomach drop slightly as I processed the fact that Seth was walking with us, that Seth was hearing every word of this conversation and probably knew exactly what Aaron was referring to – unless he was a lot dumber than I remembered. I refused to look at him, focusing instead on keeping my hand steady as I opened the door.

When we reached the parking lot, I headed towards Aaron’s car, still sitting where he’d parked it this morning. “Can I catch a ride with you?” Seth asked casually. “If you’re taking Sophie, I mean. I want to run in and grab something before we head over to your place.”

“Fine with me,” Aaron shrugged. “You don’t have a car?”

“Some days,” Seth told him. “Depends on how the ‘rents are feeling.”

Aaron laughed. “Man, do I ever get that.”

I climbed in the front seat of the Prius, leaving Seth to hop in the back. He did so cheerfully and I couldn’t help wondering what he was thinking. Did he not sense the awkwardness? Was he expecting everything to go back to normal, as if the three years had never happened?

I had no idea. On the ride home, I put myself in charge of the music, fumbling with the radio as Aaron and Seth chatted. I heard what they were saying, but I couldn’t bring myself to participate. They weren’t talking about anything exciting, anyways. I guess that would come later.

After what felt like an eternity, we pulled up in front of my house. “Thanks, Aaron,” I murmured, kissing him briefly before pulling away to open my door. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“I’ll call you tonight,” he countered.

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

I smiled at him for a moment before shutting the door. I loved him in this kind of mood – it made everything else worthwhile. Seth shouldered his backpack and walked with me towards my house. “How’s your dad?” he finally asked.

“The same,” I shrugged, not wanting to get into a huge heart-to-heart.

“Well, if you ever want to come over…”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea right now,” I replied as gently as I could.

He nodded quickly. “Yeah. Right. I just meant…”

“I get it. And thanks. But…”

“Yeah,” he said awkwardly. “Well, I gotta run, so…”

He made a kind of half-wave towards Aaron’s car before shoving his hands in his pocket and turning around to walk towards his old – new – house. I couldn’t help watching him as I fumbled with my key, a part of me wondering what would be different if he had found a way to stay three years ago.