Living for the Music
Chapter Fifteen
The next day, I woke up to the gray light of pre-dawn. I stared out my lone window at the bare tree branches shaking in the wind. I was actually happy to have woken up early, although I knew I’d miss the sleep later today. It gave me some time to think, without any pressure to rush my thoughts.
But an hour later, I still had nothing new. I knew three things for sure: Seth was back. He was still friends with Aaron. Aaron was my boyfriend. As I stood up to stretch, I found myself wondering how my boyfriend and ex-best friend had become so close over the past 24-hours. Had they kept in better touch than Aaron let on? I shook my head as I pulled out a long-sleeved t-shirt hoodie with LOVE written in large letters across the chest. I couldn’t help hoping that Seth wouldn’t notice the little letter underneath, or the words on the hood. I didn’t need him pressuring me any more than he already would be.
Today, I got downstairs in time for breakfast. I grabbed a bowl from the counter and poured myself some cereal, careful to stay quiet. Dad was a jerk if he was woken up in the morning. I finished in record time, rinsing my bowl in the sink before I headed out to the front porch.
Aaron wasn’t there yet. Since I was early, this wasn’t a huge deal. At least, it wasn’t until Seth came outside. I quickly looked away, messing with the zippers on my black bag. I pretended to be enthralled with the designs on it, even though I’d already memorized the pattern of the hearts and stars.
I thought he might’ve seen me, but he didn’t stop. I heard him open a car door, and heard it slam shut behind him. When I happened a glance in his direction, I saw him backing out of the driveway in the black Volvo. I watched him turn down the street. I couldn’t decide whether I was happy he didn’t disturb me, or disappointed that he didn’t bother to talk to me at all. Before I could make a decision, Aaron pulled up and I headed for another day of school.
The day was an exact repeat of the previous one. We were still working on graphing in math, and I was still not understanding it. A part of me was whispering that I should ask Seth for help, but I still had some pride. I wasn’t going to start begging him for favors when he’d only just got back.
I collapsed in my forth hour with every intention of it being my refuge, just like it had been for the past two months. But my hopes were slashed as I saw Seth walk through the door, bringing memories and confusion along with him.
I couldn’t help watching him as I slowly opened my notebook. I saw him glance around before his eyes landed on me. It seemed like he was fighting some kind of inner battle with himself, and I could tell exactly when he won. He started to move towards me, and I sighed as I resumed looking at my notebook.
“Hey Sophie,” he muttered, dropping his backpack on the ground.
“Hey,” I replied, busying myself in my bag as I tried to find a pencil.
“How’re you doing?” he asked as he slid down next to me.
“Not bad,” I muttered, trying not to scream in frustration. “You?”
“Better now that I’m here,” he answered honestly. “Is it just me or is this the only decent class at the school?”
I snorted. “Give me a break, Seth. I’m sure all your classes are a piece of cake. For you, at least.”
“I didn’t say they weren’t easy,” he countered. “I just said that they weren’t fun.”
“School isn’t supposed to be fun,” I informed him. “Unless you know something I don’t.”
“So you don’t have any fun?” he pressed. “Not even here?”
“Well, I have fun here. But that’s because music isn’t work.”
“It never has been for you,” he said, to himself I think.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I snapped, immediately defensive.
“Nothing!” he protested, putting his hands up in mock surrender. “I was just saying. You’ve always liked music.”
I couldn’t deny that. “I mean, how many songs are in your iTunes? Dare I guess?”
“You’re one to talk,” I retorted. “Mr. 10,000 and counting.”
“But you’ve had two years to improve your collection.”
“Three,” I corrected automatically. “And you’ve had a whole country’s worth of music to listen to. Don’t tell me you haven’t found something you like.”
“Are you kidding? British bands are kick-ass.”
And the lead singers are really hot, my conscience thought. I smiled to myself, thinking of the guy on Seth’s shirt yesterday. He had been really good looking. Almost as hot as Seth.
I shoved that thought out of my head before it could plant a seed and grow into something worse. I did not need to be thinking about those kinds of things right now. “What’re you thinking?” Seth asked as if reading my thoughts.
“Nothing important. Why?”
“It’s fun to watch your face,” he remarked. “It’s like watching a movie.”
I stared at him. Was he serious? That sounded so… corny. I saw the blush tingeing his cheeks as he seemed to realize that. “I didn’t mean it like that,” he mumbled. “It just…. I dunno.”
I resumed looking for my pencil, effectively ending the conversation. “I have a pencil, if you need one,” he offered, pulling one out of his pocket.
I sighed, brushing my hair out of my face. “Yeah, that’d be great,” I finally admitted. I took the mechanical pencil from him, jumping as my fingers brushed his for a split-second. My eyes locked with his before I pulled away.
I was spared the need to say anything when the teacher moved into the room. “Alright, everybody, you should be nearing the end of your writing. The recording studios will be available Monday on a first come first served basis. I think a few of you should be ready by then.”
I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face. I had been looking forward to that all year. As Ms. Dunford sat down at her desk, I resumed staring at my notebook. I had to finish this song. If I could get it done this weekend, I could book the studio first thing Monday. There was only one with a piano, and I needed that one in order to record properly. I had to do this.
But an hour later, I still had nothing new. I knew three things for sure: Seth was back. He was still friends with Aaron. Aaron was my boyfriend. As I stood up to stretch, I found myself wondering how my boyfriend and ex-best friend had become so close over the past 24-hours. Had they kept in better touch than Aaron let on? I shook my head as I pulled out a long-sleeved t-shirt hoodie with LOVE written in large letters across the chest. I couldn’t help hoping that Seth wouldn’t notice the little letter underneath, or the words on the hood. I didn’t need him pressuring me any more than he already would be.
Today, I got downstairs in time for breakfast. I grabbed a bowl from the counter and poured myself some cereal, careful to stay quiet. Dad was a jerk if he was woken up in the morning. I finished in record time, rinsing my bowl in the sink before I headed out to the front porch.
Aaron wasn’t there yet. Since I was early, this wasn’t a huge deal. At least, it wasn’t until Seth came outside. I quickly looked away, messing with the zippers on my black bag. I pretended to be enthralled with the designs on it, even though I’d already memorized the pattern of the hearts and stars.
I thought he might’ve seen me, but he didn’t stop. I heard him open a car door, and heard it slam shut behind him. When I happened a glance in his direction, I saw him backing out of the driveway in the black Volvo. I watched him turn down the street. I couldn’t decide whether I was happy he didn’t disturb me, or disappointed that he didn’t bother to talk to me at all. Before I could make a decision, Aaron pulled up and I headed for another day of school.
The day was an exact repeat of the previous one. We were still working on graphing in math, and I was still not understanding it. A part of me was whispering that I should ask Seth for help, but I still had some pride. I wasn’t going to start begging him for favors when he’d only just got back.
I collapsed in my forth hour with every intention of it being my refuge, just like it had been for the past two months. But my hopes were slashed as I saw Seth walk through the door, bringing memories and confusion along with him.
I couldn’t help watching him as I slowly opened my notebook. I saw him glance around before his eyes landed on me. It seemed like he was fighting some kind of inner battle with himself, and I could tell exactly when he won. He started to move towards me, and I sighed as I resumed looking at my notebook.
“Hey Sophie,” he muttered, dropping his backpack on the ground.
“Hey,” I replied, busying myself in my bag as I tried to find a pencil.
“How’re you doing?” he asked as he slid down next to me.
“Not bad,” I muttered, trying not to scream in frustration. “You?”
“Better now that I’m here,” he answered honestly. “Is it just me or is this the only decent class at the school?”
I snorted. “Give me a break, Seth. I’m sure all your classes are a piece of cake. For you, at least.”
“I didn’t say they weren’t easy,” he countered. “I just said that they weren’t fun.”
“School isn’t supposed to be fun,” I informed him. “Unless you know something I don’t.”
“So you don’t have any fun?” he pressed. “Not even here?”
“Well, I have fun here. But that’s because music isn’t work.”
“It never has been for you,” he said, to himself I think.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I snapped, immediately defensive.
“Nothing!” he protested, putting his hands up in mock surrender. “I was just saying. You’ve always liked music.”
I couldn’t deny that. “I mean, how many songs are in your iTunes? Dare I guess?”
“You’re one to talk,” I retorted. “Mr. 10,000 and counting.”
“But you’ve had two years to improve your collection.”
“Three,” I corrected automatically. “And you’ve had a whole country’s worth of music to listen to. Don’t tell me you haven’t found something you like.”
“Are you kidding? British bands are kick-ass.”
And the lead singers are really hot, my conscience thought. I smiled to myself, thinking of the guy on Seth’s shirt yesterday. He had been really good looking. Almost as hot as Seth.
I shoved that thought out of my head before it could plant a seed and grow into something worse. I did not need to be thinking about those kinds of things right now. “What’re you thinking?” Seth asked as if reading my thoughts.
“Nothing important. Why?”
“It’s fun to watch your face,” he remarked. “It’s like watching a movie.”
I stared at him. Was he serious? That sounded so… corny. I saw the blush tingeing his cheeks as he seemed to realize that. “I didn’t mean it like that,” he mumbled. “It just…. I dunno.”
I resumed looking for my pencil, effectively ending the conversation. “I have a pencil, if you need one,” he offered, pulling one out of his pocket.
I sighed, brushing my hair out of my face. “Yeah, that’d be great,” I finally admitted. I took the mechanical pencil from him, jumping as my fingers brushed his for a split-second. My eyes locked with his before I pulled away.
I was spared the need to say anything when the teacher moved into the room. “Alright, everybody, you should be nearing the end of your writing. The recording studios will be available Monday on a first come first served basis. I think a few of you should be ready by then.”
I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face. I had been looking forward to that all year. As Ms. Dunford sat down at her desk, I resumed staring at my notebook. I had to finish this song. If I could get it done this weekend, I could book the studio first thing Monday. There was only one with a piano, and I needed that one in order to record properly. I had to do this.