Living for the Music

I was lost in the realm of sleepy dreaminess. I drifted between being asleep and awake as I watched the perfect world outside the window slowly unravel. Time seemed to melt as I lay there. The music was fast, then slow. I’d wake up in the middle of a song and have no idea how much time had passed. The sunlight was permanently muted, hidden behind clouds. The only sign of the passing time was the water dripping off the trees and the snow on the ground, slowly growing gray and dirty.

Finally, around 4 o’clock, I pulled myself out of bed. As much as I wanted to lay in bed all, day, I should do something worthwhile. Homework wasn’t entertaining, but it was unfortunately important.

I shivered as I got out of bed and threw on the sweatpants I had discarded earlier. Now that there was no chance of me going over for dinner, I was allowed to look as lazy as I felt.

I bit my lip as I thought of the expression on Seth’s face. I couldn’t remember the last time he yelled at me. I’d never seen him that mad before. And he was that mad at me. I shoved the thought from my mind. Seth was pissed at me. So what? I wasn’t thrilled with him either. With that thought in my head, I sat down at my desk, determined to focus on homework.

Around 4:45, there was a pounding on the front door. I ignored it. A few moments later, there was a dull thump as a clump of snow hit my window. I groaned, realizing the person wasn’t planning on giving up.

When I looked out the window, I wasn’t surprised to see Nathan standing there. I made a face at him. “Come down!” he mouthed, pointing to the front door. I shook my head fiercely and he reached down to pick up more snow. I threw up my hands in defeat. I wasn’t going to get any work done if he kept that up.

Nathan grinned at me and I rolled my eyes as I turned and hopped over the bed to unlock the door. I headed downstairs quietly, not knowing where my dad was.

“What do you want?” I asked, unlocking the door.

“I’m here to escort you to dinner,” he informed me, leaning casually against he doorframe.

“Nathan…” I groaned. I ran a hand through my hair, pushing it out of my face.

“Come on. It won’t kill you.”

“I’m afraid your brother might,” I admitted softly.

“Please, Sophie? Dinner isn’t for another hour, but if you come over now we can talk before hand. It’s been too long.”

“I have homework,” I mumbled, glancing back into the house.

“Math?” Nathan smirked. I nodded. “Bring it. I’m not a genius like Seth, but I can still help you.”

“Nathan…”

“And then we’ll curl up and watch a movie, just like we used to,” he finished. I was silent. “Come on. You know you want to.”

“Did you hear him?” I murmured, raw pain in my voice. “He doesn’t care about me. He knows I don’t trust him. He… he called me Sophia.”

“You don’t have to deal with him,” Nathan said soothingly. “I’ll be there. Seth won’t try anything with Mom and Dad there. You’ll be fine. Promise.”

I bit my lip. “I’ll make popcorn,” he coaxed. “We’ll have fun.”

I finally nodded. I knew I would regret it later, but today I wanted to feel like I belonged somewhere. “I’ll be right back.”

I ran upstairs to grab my homework. I shoved my math book and binder in my bag and grabbed a few others things. Finally, I headed back downstairs.

“Sophia?” a voice called. I froze outside the door. What was he doing home at five o’clock? As the door swung open, I realized just how hung over he was. He must not’ve gotten in until early this morning.

“You going somewhere?” he muttered, stumbling forward. “Where you going?”

“Out,” I replied. “I’ll be back soon.

“You going out with that boy?” he pressed. I shook my head, but he continued as if he hadn’t seen. “Are you sleeping with him?”

I shook my head in disbelief and turned around, walking downstairs. “Don’t walk away from me,” he yelled. “I asked you a question.”

I sped up, trying to get out of his sight. “You slut!” he yelled. “You are, aren’t you! Go! Go and–”

I tore out the door, slamming it shut before I could hear the end of his sentence. Nathan had his back to the house and was staring fixedly at the street, but I knew he had heard every word. He turned around and sent me a quick smile before taking my hand and leading me towards the house.