Living for the Music

As we walked, I felt butterflies growing in my stomach. I hadn’t been over here for three years. I stepped up onto the front porch, glancing around at the porch swing. Seth and I had spent many summer nights on that swing with our popsicles.

Nathan pushed the door open and I followed him inside. The hall was the same, with doors opening off both sides and the kitchen straight ahead. Nathan kicked off his boots and I did the same as he motioned me towards the lone door on the right.

The den was the same. Other than Seth’s room, this was where I had spent most of my time. The TV was still mounted on one wall with a well-worn couch opposite it. I knew from experience that the couch was deep and comfy, as were the blankets thrown over the back of it. There was a reclining chair next to the couch and the newest additions were the two giant bean bags on the floor amid the shag carpeting.

“When did you get those?” I asked, motioning at the beanbags.

“Oh, they’re called love sacs. They’re amazingly awesome,” Nathan grinned, flopping down on one. “Mom got them, well, somewhere.”

"Cool,” I nodded, turning to the walls.

Nathan had painted the den a dark green to go with the carpet. Mara had gone out and boughten thirty-some silver frames that could be hung on the wall. They were filled with pictures, and Mara was constantly adding more. I was still waiting for the day that the wall space ran out. It wouldn’t take that long – Mara refused to put the pictures too close together. Yet somehow, that worked. Instead of appearing cluttered, the silver frames looked elegantly spaced against the dark walls.

I recognized many of the pictures. They started on the left and worked around the room in chronological order. Some of them, the baby pictures, had been up for as long as I’d known the house. I appeared in a few of them, a constant part of Seth’s preteen years. But the ones I was really interested in were on the right side, the most recent additions.

Mara had evidently been busy – there were a ton of pictures from their time overseas. The family in front of Big Ben, on the Thames. There was one of Seth in France, in whatever park the Eiffel Tower is in, and there was one of Mara and Tom in Italy, on one of the boats.

And… there. That was what I had been looking for. Seth, with his arms wrapped around the waist of a petite redhead. Her head was resting on his chest, and from the smiles on their faces you could tell they would be happy standing like that forever.

“That Taylor?” I asked casually. She didn’t look like the Taylor I’d been expecting, but I couldn’t think who else she’d be.

“Yeah,” Nathan answered, voice carefully even.

I didn’t push it. Nathan didn’t sound like he wanted to talk about it any more than I did. I curled up on the couch by his head, staring at the hole in the wall. Nathan had converted it into an indented shelf. I knew if I made the effort to sit up and look I’d see the familiar statues and – you guess it – picture frames.

“So you want to tell me what’s going on with you and Seth?” Nathan finally asked. “Last I knew, you were best friends.”

“He was gone for three years, Nathan,” I murmured softly. “Three years! And I know it wasn’t his fault, or his choice, but it happened. And then, when he came back, he expected everything to be the same between us. And… it wasn’t. It really wasn’t.”

“I can see that,” he muttered to himself.

“I mean, I’ve changed. And so has he. Living overseas… I’m happy for him. I really am. But he’s had all these experiences I haven’t. And my life went on without him. We’re not the little kids we used to be.”

“I know you’re not,” Nathan assured me. “Trust me, Sophie, I’ve only been here a day and I can tell how you’ve grown up. I just don’t think Seth’s ready to accept that.”

“Why not?” I whispered. “Why can’t he accept it?”

“All through middle school, Seth was… well, your protector,” Nathan explained. “I still remember Seth coming home angry because Tyler snapped at you, or your dad yelled at you. You two were inseparable. You depended on each other. And Seth… I think he took that for granted.”

“I don’t need him like that anymore,” I sighed. “I learned how to fight my own battles. I had to, with him gone. I just want him to be my friend.”

“I know,” Nathan replied. “And I totally support that. I just think Seth needs more time to get used to not always being your first priority.”

“He will, right?” I asked anxiously. “I need some time to sort stuff out. But I don’t want to lose him forever.”

Nathan laughed softly. “With your history? I don’t think you’ll ever get rid of him completely.”

“Good to know,” I mumbled, throwing a pillow over my head. “I can’t decide whether that’s a good or a bad thing.”

Nathan shrugged. “I can’t help you there,” he answered. “But I think you’d better get used to him, considering you’ll probably be forced together at the wedding.”

I sat bolt upright. “Wedding? Whose?”

Nathan shot me a puzzled look. “Mine, of course. You are coming, right?”

I fell backwards again. “Sorry. For a second I thought you mean…” I laughed at myself. “Never mind.”

It took a minute for my brain to catch up and I threw myself back up. “Wait. What?”

“My wedding,” Nathan explained patiently. “You’re invited, of course. I know you won’t know many people, so I have a feeling you’ll probably migrate towards Seth. I just thought you guys might want to mend your bridges before that.”

“Nathan… I can’t come to your wedding,” I cried, shaking my head.

“Why not?” he asked reasonably.

“Well… I’m not related… I mean, you haven’t seen me in three years!”

“Sophie,” he laughed. “You were over here so much when we were little, we practically adopted you. You know you’re like a sister to me. I really want you there.”

I groaned softly. How had everything gotten so confusing? “I--”

“Nathan, Mom says--”

Seth stopped dead when he saw me. “What’re you doing here?”

“She’s staying for dinner,” Nathan replied coolly. “Is it ready?”

“Yeah,” Seth mumbled. “Mom wants you to set the table.”

Nathan nodded as he pushed himself up off the sac. “Come on, little sis. You can help,” he assured me, shooting a wicked grin over his shoulder.